Edolescence: Season 1
by Actionphoenix260
Summary: New Eds, New Schemes, New Adventures! Join the Eds and their friends as they deal with the wacky and extraordinary happenings of Peach Creek! Rated T for strong language, intense sequences of action and violence, and crude & sexual content.
1. How to catch an Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note: **What's up EEnE fans? Edolescence has finally hit the screen! If you are unfamiliar with my work, go to my profile and everything will be explained to you. However, every time something important shows up in this series, it will be submitted to my profile. And I wanna thank Easymac120 for giving me some advice when creating this series. And if you have a question, PM it to me. Please DON'T use the review box to submit your questions! Anyway, Enjoy!

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**EPISODE 1: HOW TO CATCH AN ED**

* * *

The sun was nearly setting over the little town of Peach Creek. It was now Fall and the wind gently blew. There was a white, freestanding gym with the billboard-like title "Park's school of Martial Arts" on the roof. Inside, all was dark with the exception of a large lamp that was shining over what appeared to be a teenager in a black ninja suit that covered all but his eyes (which could be seen via a rectangular hole). While the suit itself was black, the gloves and boots that the teen was wearing were not as dark. He was also wearing a green sash. In front of him was a teenager in a white ninja suit and a red sash. Both teens were on a small blue mat. On the sidelines and on a bleacher, a silhouetted man with three silhouetted teens on both sides of him was sitting on some bleachers. All was silent until the man put his hand by his mouth and…

"FIGHT!" yelled the silhouetted man

Red-sash ran towards Green-sash at great speed before he (Green-sash) jumped up into the air, did a front flip, and landed feet-first behind him. Red-sash turned around and swung at Green-sash before he (Green-sash) turned around and blocked him with his right arm. Green-sash swung at Red-sash with his left, but Red-sash ducked and struck Green-sash in the chest before he (Red-sash) spin-kicked him (Green-sash), which caused him to fall. Green-sash successfully leg-swept Red-sash before he (Green-sash) sprung himself back up. Red-sash also sprung back up before he unleashed a barrage of punches and kicks at normal-speed, but Green-sash was blocking every single shot with little difficulty. Red-sash's blows picked up speed cartoon-style, but so did Green-sash's block techniques. Eventually, Green-sash caught both of Red-sash's arms before he (Green-sash) knee-kicked him in the stomach, which caused him to fall to his knees. Green-sash then delivered a roundhouse kick to the back of Red-sash's head before he (Red-sash) fell on his face. Green-sash then stood up straight before the rest of the lights in the gym turned on. The no-longer Silhouetted group on the sidelined bleachers stood up and applauded. There were also many other people who were sitting on eight bleachers that surrounded the mat. The teens on the sidelines consisted of two boys and four girls. Both boys had combed blonde hair while the girls were respectively a brunette, a blonde, a redhead, and a pink-head. All of them were wearing a black ninja suit with green sashes with the exception of the man, who was Caucasian, in his late-forties, stood 6'1, had perfectly-combed brown hair, and was wearing a white ninja suit with a gold sash on it.

"Excellent! Well done!" said the man as he continued to applaud Green-sash

Green-sash took off his mask and revealed himself to be: Eddy! Without a word, Eddy bowed down and smiled at the group.

"Uhhh!" Red-sash groaned as he got up

Upon hearing the groan, Eddy turned around and offered Red-sash his hand. Red-sash looked up and grabbed Eddy's hand before he (Eddy) pulled him up. Red-sash took off his mask and revealed himself to be a Caucasian kid with combed blue hair.

"You okay there, Owen?" Eddy asked the blue-haired kid with a smile

"Yeah," said Owen, "Should've seen that roundhouse kick comin'!"

"Come on!" Eddy said as he put his arm around Owen's shoulder.

The screen shifted to the inside of a large room. Three tables of food were seen against a wall, while the main exit doors were on the opposite side of the room. The patrons were in many more chairs and Owen and the other kids were seen sitting on the front row of chairs while Eddy (who was wearing his regular clothes) was standing up straight in front of the man, who had a gold sash in his hand. Behind the man, was a wall with pictures of past kids (most of which around Eddy's age), who were wearing golden sashes and standing next to the man.

"As founder and primary instructor of "Park's school of Martial Arts", it is my honor to present you, Edward Gates, with the Golden Masters Sash!" said the man (Park) before he put the sash on Eddy

The other kids and the civilians cheered while Eddy smiled victoriously.

"Thank you… Master Park!" Eddy said as he put his fist on his (Eddy's) chest

"That sash makes you a graduate!" said Park as he put his fist on his (Park's) chest "Call me "Russell"!"

"Thank you, Russell!" Eddy said

"Thank yourself, kid!" said Russell "You've come along way from that jawbreaker-munchin' kid that walked through those doors 3 years back! Went from a punching bag to my best student!"

"You say that to everybody that gets these things!" said Eddy as he tugged on his sash

"But I mean it this time!" said Russell "Who knows? You could have been able to best Gary!"

"Who?" asked Eddy before he walked up to Russell, who showed him a picture of a smiling black kid that was about 16. Underneath his picture was a golden nameplate that read: Garrett "Gary" Webster.

"He was a nice, brilliant young man! He had particular interest in robotics and received an internship at King Industries! He had a promising life and future ahead of him!" said Russell before he began to frown "Or so I thought! Found out he was selling an illegal drug called "zenjex"! And he was using my teachings to fight off or kill anyone who got in his way. He disappeared eleven years ago after a long chase. It's a wonder why I still keep his picture up here."

"Mr. Park! Mr. Gates!" yelled an off-screen photographer "Can we get a picture?"

Eddy and Russell turned around and took a buddy pose before the camera flashed on them. Owen and the pink-haired girl walked up to Eddy. Eddy and Owen gave each other a high-five before the pink-haired girl gave Eddy a hug and kissed him on the right cheek!

"Easy, Tori!" Owen said to the pink-haired girl "You two don't go out anymore, remember?"

"So? I want him to still remember me when we move, nosy brother!" Tori said as she put Owen in a headlock and gave him a noogie

Eddy smiled and shook his head from left to right before he pulled out his cell phone and looked at the time, which was 7:17pm.

"Oh, shit!" Eddy exclaimed, "It's almost 7:30!"

"Got somewhere to be?" asked Owen in a strangled voice

"Yeah!" answered Eddy "I made plans with my other friends!"

"Let me guess:" Tori said as she released Owen's head "Another one of your money-making schemes?"

"You know me well, sweetheart!" Eddy said "Later!"

Eddy ran out the front door and walked over to his green/black-painted Suzuki Hayabusa (a "motorcycle made for minors" that he got over the timeskip) before he hopped onto it and drove off into the sunset at great speed. By the time Eddy returned to Peach Creek Estates, the night had already fallen. Eddy drove his bike onto the front lawn of his house before he hopped off and ran to the front door, which was already unlocked.

"Hey Mom! Hey Dad!" Eddy said as he ran passed his parents, who were in the living room sitting on a black sofa.

Eddy's father strongly resembled Eddy's brother. He had a black goatee, was very muscular, and if he were standing, he would be 6'1. He was wearing a black toupee, a short-sleeve Cerulean T-shirt, black jeans, black boots, and a wristwatch. Eddy's gorgeous mother had a svelte physique, long black hair, and a tiny mole on her right cheek. She was wearing a long-sleeve, frilly white dress shirt, a beige skirt, and white shoes with heels. Both were wearing rings of real gold. Eddy's living room has also been relatively changed. It now has a brown recliner chair, two black sofas, and a black Flatscreen HDTV on a transparent glass TV-stand (which the two were watching). The fish-tank also had five more goldfish. The screen shifted to the inside of Eddy's "Closet of Dreams", where he was seen going through a box that read "To my favorite cousin" on the outside.

"Come on! Come on! Where is it? Where is it?" the bug-eyed Eddy said in a rushed-voice "AHA!" he exclaimed as he pulled out an unlabeled, white DVD that was still wrapped in plastic. "Now, ta get goin!" he said as he walked out of his closet and closed the door behind him

Eddy's room has also been altered over the timeskip. It was completely free of all of the retro items that he originally had. He still had his round king-sized bed, but his room now contained three posters of half-dressed girls above his bed's wall, concert posters on the wall in front, pictures of him and his friends at games and concerts on his "Closet of dreams" door, a large, black belt with a three medals hanging near his bed-wall's corner, a more present-day TV across his bed, complete with DVDs and a player, and a comfy white fur chair. Eddy then ran out of his room with an excited look on his face.

"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Eddy said as he ran passed his parents

"Just a minute, young man!" said Eddy's mom.

Eddy stopped in his tracks before he could touch the doorknob. He turned around and looked

"Come on, mom! I'm on the clock here!" Eddy said impatiently

"Let the kid go, Monica!" Eddy's dad said to his wife

"I just need to know where it is that he and his friends are hanging out at tonight." Said Monica

"The old Cooke house, right Spike?" asked Eddy's dad said to Eddy

"Right!" Eddy answered

"Eddy, do you have any idea how filthy that place is?!" asked Monica as she frowned "And plus it's falling apart!"

"I'm a dude, mom!" said Eddy with a smile "We love places like that!"

"There ya go, son!" Eddy's dad said to Eddy

"Ruben!" Monica said to her husband

"Come on, Monica!" said Ruben "Let the kid and his friends have their fun! Besides, I've been trying to sell that place for years! Didn't get a single call! Might as well become a hideout! Go 'head, son!"

"Thanks dad!" Eddy said before he opened the door "See ya later! Love ya!" he said before he closed the door behind him

"Must you always contradict me?" Monica asked Ruben

"Must you always be uptight?" Ruben said as he smiled at his Monica. Who rolled her eyes and smiled in amusement

The screen shifted to Eddy, who had just now arrived at the old Cooke House by motorcycle. Cooke house was an old, white three-floor house that was near the mountains of Peach Creek Estates. Mold and cobwebs covered the house and the paint was coming off. There were also two shrubs and two bushes. Eddy walked through the lawn with his motorcycle and headed straight for the back entrance. In the back, there were nine other vehicles, which consisted of Kevin's black/silver 2005 Vulcan 1500 drifter (motorcycle for minors), an orange bike, a black bike with purple roses on it, a blue bike with red roses on it, a light green bike, a red bike with that was titled "Speed Demon" in black, a unicycle, a gray "Blaze" scooter, and a gold-painted bike with the initials "NB" on it. Each bike was on their kickstands while the unicycle was on the ground. After putting down the kickstand of his bike, Eddy walked towards the backdoor.

"HIYA!!!" Eddy exclaimed as he kicked the door open "Man, that's fun!"

Inside was the big, old, and dark kitchen. Eddy walked through the kitchen's double doors and made a left turn down a hallway. At the end of the hallway, there was a door that read "Home Theater". Eddy walked through the door of the theater room, which would be completely dark if not for two tall, portable lamps. Inside was Eddy's friends, who were waiting behind a red line that was being monitored by Ed and Kevin (who were both wearing white "Security caps"). The room had a large, silver movie-projector (obviously brought by somebody) on a table near the door's entrance. There were a total of ten chairs (5 per row).

"There he is!" said Ed

"Where you been, man?" asked Kevin "I thought you said "7:30 exactly"!"

"Chill bro! Least they didn't start a riot!" Eddy said before he went into his left pocket and pulled out his money jar "All right! Since this movie is rated R and _we'll _(Kevin, Ed, and Eddy) be directly responsible if our parents catch us, 7 bucks per person! That means Plank too, Jonny! Let 'em out, Ed!"

Ed unhooked the red line before Nazz, Holly, Jonny (for both he and Plank), Rolf, Brooke, Nate, and Cody each put seven dollars in Eddy's jar before they each went to go sit down. Nate, Ed, Cody, and Kevin sat in the back row of while Nazz, Holly, Brooke, Jonny, and Rolf sat on the very first row.

"This was a good idea watchin' a scary movie in an empty old house, Eddy!" said Cody

"Yeah, it's too bad Double D decided ta spend the rest of the night finishin' up that Science Fair project ya'll were working on for the past month!" said Eddy as he put the disc into the projector "Ah, well! His lost!"

"You know my cousin, dude!" said Cody "All work, barely play!"

"All right, everybody!" said Eddy before he sat down next to Kevin "The surprise movie you're about to watch is none other than the thriller/horror flick "Dawnsville!"

"No way!" said Nate as he looked at Eddy

"That movie doesn't come out on DVD in America until next month!" said Holly

"That's why it's always good to be on close terms with the director!" said Eddy "In this case, my cousin… Michael Gates!"

"Michael Gates?!" Nazz asked as she turned around and looked at Eddy with bug-eyes "The dude who did those awesome "Fitzgerald's Secret" commercials and that new music video by Kamille?! _He's_ your cousin?"

"Yep!" said Eddy "And this is his feature film debut! Critics say that it's even scarier than "Paranormal Activity"! So, I wouldn't be surprised if you guys piss in your pants!"

"Rolf has a bladder of hardened steel, "he whose hair resembles an echidna's back" Ed boy!" said Rolf

"Plank says only pussies get scared of horror movies these days!" said Jonny

"I don't get scared that easily!" said Nazz

"That ain't what Nate told us when he took you to the movies two years back!" said Cody "He said you jumped out of your seat and landed on his lap!"

"Nate!" Nazz said sternly

"What?!" Nate said as he smiled

"Hey, who do you guys think'll pee in their pants first?" asked Ed

"I say Brooke!" said Kevin

"I say go ta hell!" Brooke said as she looked back at Kevin and smiled sarcastically

"Plank thinks it'll be Eddy!" said Jonny

"Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Everyone said as they looked at Eddy

"Well, why don't you put the termites where your mouth is, Plankie!" said Eddy "Cuz the movie's about ta start! Ed, hit the lights!"

Ed snapped his fingers before the lamps went completely off. Next, the screen began to slowly zoom out before the kids could be seen on a TV screen on a large desk. The screen then slowly shifted to a bald, silhouetted figure that was watching them via the screen. The figure then turned around and faced two more silhouetted figures. Both of which had a set of gleaming red eyes.

* * *

Inside of Edd's closed garage, Edd (who was wearing a paint mask) was seen using red, quick-drying spray paint to create flames on the right side of a black, tank-like vehicle that was about as large as a van. Sarah (who was also wearing a paint mask) was on the other side of the vehicle doing the same thing. Sarah had the bottom of her shirt tied into a knot, exposing her stomach. Both then took off their spray-paint masks before they stood in front of the vehicle.

"I didn't know you were into flames, Double D!" Sarah said

"I'm not!" said Edd

"So, why did you-" started Sarah

"Let's just say that I am particularly unsuccessful when partaking in games of flipism!" said Edd "Well, I better escort you home before your mother worries!"

"Why you tryin' to get rid of me?" asked Sarah, as she looked Edd in the eye and smiled

"I'm not! It's just-" started Edd as he smiled at her

"You can't find time for me, anymore?" Sarah asked as she put her hands on Edd's chest and continued to smile.

"You shouldn't say that!" Edd said as he wrapped his arms around Sarah's waist "You know you're the first thing on my mind everyday that I awaken from my slumber!"

"I thought it was taking a shower!" Sarah said as she continued to smile at Edd

"That too!" Said Edd

Edd and Sarah moved their respective heads towards each other before they had one, long kiss!

"Perhaps you could remain here for maybe another half-hour?" Edd asked

"Or you could come to my house!" Sarah said softly before Edd nodded

Edd and Sarah slowly walked back into the house while holding hands! Edd turned off the garage's light and closed the door behind him.

* * *

The screen shifted to the theater room of Cooke house, where the film had just now ended after a red skull-in-crossbones appeared. Ed snapped his finger before the lamps turned on.

"Now, _that_ was a badass movie!" said Cody

"Yeah!" said Kevin "_Way_ better than that piece of shit remake of Halloween!"

"I liked the part where the killer burned that officer to death!" said Ed

"That's _my_ favorite part!" Holly said as she turned around and looked at Ed with a smile

The surprised Ed gave Holly a high-five.

"The best part in the whole movie was when that kid stabbed the killer in the stomach when they were fightin' on the roof!" said Eddy

"Hell yeah!" Nate said as he gave Eddy some dap

Rolf suddenly started smelling the air before he flinched and shed a tear in his left, bugged-out eye.

"Why does the aroma of bodily waste fill the once-clear air?!" asked Rolf as he covered his nose.

"Eww!" said Brooke before she covered her nose "I smell it, too!"

"Oh my freakin' God!" said Nate as he held his nose "What the hell is that?!"

"Sorry, guys!" Jonny said as he smiled nervously

Everybody suddenly went bug-eyed before…

"AWWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!" yelled the boys as they got up and walked to the back

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!" said the girls as they got up and walked to the back

"The movie was scarier than I thought!" Jonny said as he stood up and faced his friends "And stop callin' me a pussy, Plank!"

Rolf opened the theater's door and walked out with the others right behind him. Kevin and Ed were respectively carrying the lamps while Cody carried the projector in a duffel bag. As they walked down the hallway…

"Your cousin can make one helluva movie, Eddy!" said Cody

"I know!" said Eddy "I spent a spring break with him while he was doin' his first commercial! After he showed me the ropes, I made up my mind for a career!"

The screen shifted to inside of the kitchen before the kids walked through the doors.

"I thought you wanted to be a Martial Artist teacher or something!" said Nate

"Why? Just cuz I'm a master now?" Eddy asked as he smiled "I don't fight unless provoked, man!"

"Hallo?" Rolf said as he pulled on the doorknob

Rolf tugged continuously on the doorknob, but the door wouldn't budge!

"Problem with the door, Rolfie?" asked Kevin as he sneered

"Cursed wooden portal!" yelled the bug-eyed Rolf as he banged on the door "Prepare to endure a merciless beating by Rolf's bovine head-butt!"

"Outta the way, drama queen!" Eddy said before he kicked the door down

The moment the kids walked out of the door, they each developed bug-eyes when they saw that…their vehicles have been stolen!

"Um, where are our rides?" Holly asked angrily

"Stolen, clearly!" said Jonny

"Ooh, someone's gonna get their neck snapped for this!" Kevin angrily said as he put the lamp down and cracked his knuckles

"Who could and would steal from us like this?" asked Nazz

"Maybe somebody from inside the house saw us and stole 'em as a warning!" Ed said as he pointed his finger up in deduction

"No way! This place has been empty for over a decade!" said Cody

"Hey, guys!" yelled Brooke, who was on her knee looking at the door "Check out what Nate found!"

The other teens walked towards the kneeling Nate, who pointed to something black and sticky that was covering a part of the door. He got a little on his finger and rubbed it together with his thumb.

"It's…tar!" said Nate "And it wasn't there when we first got here!"

"And it wasn't there when I first got here, either!" said Eddy

"Then that means… someone else _is_ in the house like Ed said!" deduced Nazz

"And whoever they are, they knew we were here and deliberately sealed the door shut!" said Cody

"Wait a minute!" said Holly "Stolen rides and a sealed door? It's almost as if that certain someone-"

"Didn't want us to leave!" finished Eddy as the screen zoomed in on him for dramatic effect

Jonny gulped and held Plank tightly.

"What do we do now guys?" asked Ed

"I think we should call the police!" suggested Holly

"That's against the storyline! Forget it!" said Kevin "We're goin' back in there so we can find that thieving bastard and kick his ass before we make 'im give us back our bikes! All right, here's what we're gonna do!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" interrupted Brooke "Who made _you_ Acting Captain?!"

"I did!" said Kevin cynically "Cuz I'm the only experienced leader here!"

"Being Vice Coach doesn't make you qualified for leading an investigation!" said Brooke

"That ain't what I was gonna say!" said Kevin "Ed, Eddy, Jonny, and Nazz can tell you straight up, that before most of you moved here, I led an assault against aliens that were invadin' Rolf's house!"

"Aliens? Hallo?" the confused Rolf said

"Which Nazz told us weren't real!" Holly said "And that they were his family!"

"You told 'em?!" Kevin asked Nazz

"Yeah! Right after I untied her and got her outta that ugly dress!" said Holly as Brooke smiled.

"I dunno why _you're_ smiling!" Kevin said "You've got no background in the leadership field!"

"Excuse me?! I think you need to have a serious memory refreshment!" said Brooke "Two weeks away from graduating from 9th grade, when the Kankers set our chemistry classroom on fire, who was it that led us outta there alive when our teacher was unconscious?"

"All that proves is that you have the skills to save lives!" said Kevin "You don't have the skills needed to lead a scout n' assault mission! Bein' a leader is about havin' the right skills for a certain situation!"

"Why can't you just admit that I, a girl, am better qualified for giving orders?!" asked Brooke

"I wouldn't take orders from you if I worked at a freakin' fast-food restaurant!" said Kevin

Kevin and Brooke then started to argue at once. Everyone else stepped back.

"There hasn't been this much friction between those two since they broke up!" said Holly

"Kevin cared more about his motorcycle?" asked Nate

"How'd ya know?" asked Holly

"Same thing Nazz told me when we were going out!" said Nate "Makes me wonder how this guy got laid."

Kevin and Brooke continued to argue until the fed-up Eddy intervened.

"SHUT UP!!!" Eddy yelled before Kevin and Brooke did so "That's enough! Neither of you deserve to be in charge!"

"I deserve it more than him!" shrieked Brooke

"I deserve it _way_ more than her!" said Kevin

"GUYS!" yelled Eddy "Bein' a leader ain't somethin' you _deserve_! It's somethin' that you _earn_! "

Kevin and Brooke angrily glared at each other.

"Now, you guys got the leadership concepts in all!" started Eddy "Brooke, you're right! Experience is important!" Kevin's jaw dropped cartoon-style while Brooke smiled before Eddy continued, "But Kevin is also right about having the right skills for bein' in charge of the situation." Brooke's jaw dropped and Kevin smiled before Eddy was about to finish "But you also need to have control over your emotions! Which, based on what we just saw, NEITHER OF YOU HAVE!!"

Kevin and Brooke looked at each other in shame before they looked back at Eddy.

"What skills do _you_ have pertaining to this situation?" Brooke asked Eddy

"Yeah, bro?" added Kevin as he picked up the lamp "Speakin' like that is sayin' somethin' about yourself! Spill!"

Everyone's attention shifted to Eddy.

"Durin' the 3 years I spent in Martial Arts training, I picked up more than just tips on how ta kick ass!" started Eddy "My instincts and deduction skills became sharper than they ever were! I know what my enemy is gonna do or plan to do just by thinkin' about the shit that just happened here! You guys on the other hand, don't have that experience!"

Cody and the others all looked at each other and nodded for an unknown purpose.

"Kevin, Brooke." Cody said, "I know this probably isn't what you wanna hear, but if we ever needed someone to guide us through a situation like this…it's pretty obvious who it should be!"

"Yeah. You're right!" Brooke said with a smile

Kevin and Brooke walked over to Cody and the others before they all looked at Eddy.

"All right, bro. We're listening." Kevin said with a smile "What's yer plan?"

"Tomorrow, I want _everybody_ at the junkyard by noon for a meeting!" Eddy said in a calm, but demanding tone "Even the guys that aren't here! So, spread the word! Now, let's go home!"

"Right!" the other kids said in unison

The kids walked out of the backyard and through the front lawn. The moment they were all off-screen, the screen zoomed in on a dirty window on the third floor. Unbeknownst to the kids, the bald silhouetted figure was watching them the whole time. The screen slowly shifted to the front door of Ed's house, where Edd and Sarah were seen making out until Ed showed up.

"Get a room!" Ed said with a smile before Edd and Sarah stopped and looked at him

"Oh, hello Ed!" greeted Edd "Did you enjoy tonight's Friday night movie?"

"Yeah!" said Ed before he frowned "But I think we picked the wrong place!"

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Sarah

"Let's go inside!" said Ed

The screen cut to the inside of Ed's kitchen, which hasn't changed at all. Ed was sitting across from Edd and Sarah at the family table, as he explained everything that happened twelve minutes ago. Edd and Sarah looked at Ed with shocked facial expressions.

"You're serious?" asked Sarah

"Dead." Answered Ed "Eddy wants us all at the junkyard by noon tomorrow to discuss it some more! Call Jimmy and tell him!"

"All right." Agreed Sarah

"How appalling!" said Edd "To think that we lived in a peaceful society throughout our childhood! Ed, you tell Eddy that we shall be at the junkyard tomorrow at the precise time he has instructed!"

"Will do!" said Ed

"Okay, sweetie!" Edd said as he stood up "I must return home before my parents do!"

"Late night bowling?" asked Sarah

"Indeed!" said Edd before he bent over and gave Sarah a parting kiss

"Have a restful evening!" Edd said before he left the kitchen

The moment Edd walked out the front door and closed it behind him, the screen slowly shifted to the night sky before it transitioned into the daytime sky of the next day. The screen slowly shifted to the junkyard, which was where everybody (including Jimmy) was. Edd and Sarah sat on the roof of a purple sedan, Ed, Nate, Cody, and Kevin were in a silver car with it's roof retracted, Nazz, Holly, and Brooke were on the hood of a black Ferrari, Rolf, Jimmy, and Jonny sat in the back of a red pickup truck, and Eddy stood on top of the retro van (that debuted in "Dawn of the Eds") that was in front of them.

"Why didn't you just call the police?" asked Jimmy

"That's what I said!" said Holly

"Common sense will tell you that whoever's in that house would anticipate that and make us look like fools!" said Cody

"He's right!" said Kevin "If we want our rides back and that bastard caught, we gotta do it ourselves!"

"Besides," said Nate "we have no idea how long that person has been in that freakin' house! For all we know, they could've been drivin' around the neighborhood for who knows how long! And I bet that there is at least one time where they drove by us and saw us either chillin' or goin' into our houses!"

"All they did was steal your bikes!" said Jimmy

"Then tried trappin' us by puttin' tar on the door!" said Jonny

"It was probably a prank!" said Jimmy

"Just listen, Jimmy!" yelled Sarah

"And who do you know is jackass enough ta steal our bikes and trap us in a house that just so happens to be a far enough away from the cul-de-sac so that no one could hear us?!" asked Eddy

Jimmy got quiet. He had no idea that the other kids had vast knowledge about Cooke house.

"It should be pretty obvious what whoever is in that house plans to do if he sees trespassers other than himself!" said Eddy "Gettin' rid of our rides? Tryin' ta keep us from leavin'? And ultimately bein' inside a house that's also soundproof? For cryin' out loud, people… there's a killer in that house!"

The other kids got bug-eyed before they gasped and began to sweat in fear!

"And _we_ need to do all that we can to put 'em in their place!" said Eddy

""Ta hell with that" is right, Plank!" said the bug-eyed Jonny "Ain't no ride worth gettin' killed over!"

"Rolf could always purchase another unicycle!" said Rolf

"It's not about our rides anymore, guys!" said Nazz as she hopped off the hood "We've got a murderer near our homes!"

"That's why, right now, we need to take a vote!" yelled Brooke "All opposed to catching the Peach Creek killer, raise your hand!"

Brooke, Jonny, and Rolf were the only kids who raised their hands.

"All with me?" Eddy said

Everyone with the exception of Rolf, Brooke, and Jonny raised their hands. Which caused Brooke to shake her head from left to right in frustration.

"All right. There are three things we need for this operation." said Eddy "One: Contact and visual equipment. Two: transportation. And three: weapons."

"D and I have just the thing for the first two!" said Cody

The screen shifted to the inside of Edd's garage, where everyone was seen gathering around the tank-like vehicle. Cody had a black remote control-like device (with 1 red and 1 blue button on it) in his hand. He pressed the blue button before the roof retracted like a sunroof. Inside, the driver's seat and the shotgun seat were combined and looked like a comfortable, black sofa. There were four individual, sofa-like backseats that were equally comfortable. On the black dashboard, there were three unlabeled buttons (one green, one blue, one red) and a lever that was right next to the steering wheel. Cody pressed the red button (on the remote) before the dashboard turned into a table with a black, high-tech Flatscreen computer on it!

"Badass ride!" said Kevin

"With this computer, D and I will be able to monitor you guys while you're in the house as long as each floor as one of these." said Cody

Edd held up a small Ziplock bag that had silver chips the size of dimes inside.

"What are those?" asked Nazz

"Miniaturized cameras." answered Edd "They automatically activate when you put them on a wall. But only one per room is required."

"Now, in terms of communication, we got these!" Cody said

Edd held up a Ziplock bag in his other arm. Inside this one was small black chips with a red button on them.

"Earhole communicators!" said Cody "Pretty self-explanatory!"

"Sweet!" Eddy said "All right! The rest of you start findin' some weapons! Don't wanna run into anything we ain't prepared for! And once you get your weapon, come back here!"

"You heard him, folks!" said Kevin "Let's move!"

The kids ran out of the garage and headed for their respective homes before the screen faded to black. The screen reopened on the inside of Eddy's room. Eddy himself was sitting on his white fur chair and was sharpening one blade with the other. On the wall in front of him, there was a dartboard. On his bed was one more blade and two small black knife holders. Right when Eddy stood up, three knocks came at his back door.

"It's open!" Eddy said

Nazz and Nate walked into the room before they closed the door behind them.

"Shouldn't you guys be at Double D's garage?" asked Eddy

"We came to get you!" said Nate "Everyone else is there! Is this what you have been doing the whole time?"

"Yeah!" said Eddy "Gotta keep my skills in check! Master or not!"

"You plan on killing this guy, dude?" asked Nazz

"What I can't have a set of blades without someone thinkin' that I gotta cut throats?" joked Eddy

"Wouldn't you want to if you were up against a pothead?" asked Nate

"Like my brother?" asked Eddy

"Nah, your brother's a _crackhead_!" said Nate

Eddy and Nazz laughed heartily.

"All right! Enough clownin' around!" said Eddy as he smiled "We got a job ta do!"

As Nate and Nazz made their way towards the door, Eddy put his blade holders on two of his jeans' belt loops before he put one blade in each. He picked up his last blade and got a bulls-eye when he threw it at his dartboard. The screen slowly zoomed in on the blade before it faded to black.

**

* * *

**

**Tribute: "Russell Park" was named after and based on Scottish actor/martial artist "Ray Park": the man who played "Toad" in the first X-men movie and "Snake-Eyes" in "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra". Eddy's aforementioned** **cousin "Michael Gates" is named after and based on my all-time favorite movie director, "Michael Bay": the man who is responsible for creating the "Transformers" film franchise! Also, "Fitzgerald's secret" is named after "Erin Fitzgerald", the voice actress for Nazz and May, and "Victoria's Secret", the hot lingerie production company!**

**

* * *

**

**And I know Eddy's mom was big and beefy as seen in "Smile for the Ed" but since this series takes place 3 years after, it is quite possible that she lost that. **


	2. How to catch an Ed pt 2

**Captain's Explanation: **Sorry I took a while getting this up, but I had some issues with the company that's in charge of my internet access. Here's the action-packed second half of "How to Catch an Ed"!

* * *

The screen reopened in Edd's closed garage, where everyone was seen gathered around the Cody and Edd's vehicle and were respectively wearing their earhole communicators. Each of them had some kind of "weapon" on them. Jonny had the upper half of a broken mop in his left and Plank in his right, Nazz, Holly, and Brooke all had one shovel, Nate had a white curtain rod and a plastic bottle of gasoline, Ed had a crowbar, Kevin had a hammer the size of Rolf's giant clam (It came from outer Ed), Jimmy had a brown wooden baseball bat with his surname "Greene" labeled on it, and Rolf wielded an axe. Eddy stood on top of the vehicle and had just now finished discussing their strategy.

"All right!" Said Eddy as he jumped off the vehicle's roof "Any questions?"

"Yeah, how do you expect us to get inside that place?" asked Holly "I mean, it's not like we can just break the door down like cops!"

"Guess we shoulda told you guys that we've got a _special_ feature on this baby that we have yet to run a final trial on!" said Cody before he opened the vehicle's roof (via the remote) "D, would you do the honors?"

"I'd be delighted!" said Edd before he climbed over the vehicle and into the driver's seat "Cruiser, commence aeronautical transformation, please!"

Suddenly, the vehicle (cruiser) began to shake before the other kids stepped back. The vehicle swiftly transformed from its tank-like state and into an aforementioned aircraft. Small wings emerged from its sides, a rocket-booster emerged from its bumper area, and its hood began to take on the appearance of an aircraft's nose. Once the transformation was complete, the kids stared at it in bug-eyed surprised! It strongly resembled an F-22 raptor, but was much smaller. Edd came out of the "aircraft's" door and closed it behind him. He folded his arms and looked at his friends with his "there you have it" smile.

"Ho…ly…shit!" said the bug-eyed Kevin

"Rolf has not seen such a magnificent concoction since-" started Rolf "-On the contrary, Rolf has not seen anything this magnificent!"

"This is even cooler than the TXR Sky-Slasher in the movie "Rise of the Demon Carnivores"!" said the bug-eyed Ed

"I don't know! I'm as clueless as you are! You ask 'em!" Jonny said to Plank "Plank wants to know and I quote **"**How the hell were guys your age able to make something so badass?!**"**!"

"Our dads are engineers!" Cody answered with a proud smile "They work closely on advanced shit like this! Occasionally, bringin' home some obsolete scraps for us ta work on! We told you guys that D and I have been workin' on this baby for a month. But in actually, we've been workin' on it in secret while you guys were learnin' how ta add and subtract!" Cody said before he and Edd gave each other a high-five

"Well, tell us about this thing, Double D!" said Sarah

"This aircraft's maximum levitating capacity exceeds that of any standard aeronautical vehicle and its engine's sound levels match that of the gentle purr of a feline!" said Edd

"Translation?" asked Brooke

"He said no one will see or hear us while we're in the sky!" said Cody

"This thing has… seatbelts, right?" asked Jimmy in a nervous tone

"Of course!" answered Edd "Anymore questions?"

"Yeah, can I fly this thing?!" Nate asked in an excited, bug-eyed manner "Please? I love flying man! It's what I was born for! Please!"

"This isn't an average aircraft, Nate!" said Edd "It might be a little challenging for you!"

"**"**Challenging**"** my ass! I can fly anything!" said Nate "If it runs on "I can fly" fuel, then it's in the best hands around! Now, please guys! It's been my dream to be a pilot ever since I was 5!"

"It's true!" said Nazz as she pulled a strand of her hair back "And he's been taking flight simulation exams since he was 7!"

"Impressive!" said Edd "What do you think, Cody?"

"I think we got ourselves a pilot!" said Cody

"YES!!" yelled the excited Nate

"All righty!" said Eddy "Everybody in the plane-thing, now! Time to evict a certain bastard!"

Like an actual plane, a door near the aircraft's nose opened and the kids began to walk inside. Inside, there were two black comfy seats with two black sticks (flight controls) and a set of colorful buttons on the dashboard. In the back, there were eleven individual black comfy seats that were organized in the form of two columns. There were five on both the left and the right sides of the "aircraft" and one freestanding chair that stood way in the back of the aisle. While Nate and Cody respectively sat in the primary and secondary pilot chairs, Edd, Brooke, Kevin, Ed, and Holly sat on the left side, Sarah, Jimmy, Jonny, Nazz, and Rolf sat on the right side, and Eddy sat in the freestanding chair in the back. Once everyone was in, the door automatically shut.

"Are you sure you can fly this thing, dude?" Cody asked Nate

"Trust me!" Nate said arrogantly "There is no plane that Nathaniel Roman Bennett can't handle! So, just sit back, relax, and watch how the black man works!"

"All right then!" said Cody "Cruiser, commence start-up sequence!"

The booster in the back of the aircraft started to emit a fiery ignition blast just after Edd's garage door finished opening. Nate slightly pushed his control forward just before the aircraft began to leave the garage.

"AIR TIME, BABY!" yelled the excited, bug-eyed Nate

Nate pushed his controller to its edge before the aircraft began to take to the air! With great speed, the aircraft flew over an across-the-street neighbor's house and into the cloudy, night sky!

"NATE! SLOW DOWN, DUDE!" yelled the bug-eyed Kevin

"SERIOUSLY, MAN!" yelled the bug-eyed Cody

"WHOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!" yelled the excited, bug-eyed Eddy

"AT LEAST HE'S NOT DOING HIS-" started the bug-eyed Nazz

"ROLL TIME!!" yelled the bug-eyed Nate

"ROLL TIME?!!!" everyone asked in unison

"Oh, man!" the bug-eyed Nazz said

The aircraft rolled as it continued to glide threw air at great speed with the kids yelling in fear!

"I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!" yelled Edd as he turned green

"MOMMY!" yelled Sarah

"MY STOMACH!" Jimmy yelled before vomit engorged his cheeks

Once Nate saw Cooke house at the bottom, he began to slow down and fly normally. Unfortunately, everyone was still quite queasy!

"Attention, everyone!" said Nate "This is your pilot, "The Roman"! Please remain seated until you are ejected!"

"EJECTED?!" everyone (save for Nate, Cody, Edd, and Eddy) said in unison

"Wha'd you guys think we were gonna do?" asked Eddy "Crash into it?"

"Cruiser, eject primary pilot and passengers in seats 3 through 11, please!" ordered Cody as he held his stomach

The aircraft stopped in midair and was hovering over Cooke house while being 13ft above it (Cooke house). Next, everyone except for Cody, Edd, and Sarah were ejected from the aircraft and were slowly descending to the top of the roof (which was more than large or long enough for them to all be on) with their black/red-patterned parachutes. Eddy pulled out both of his blades and cut himself loose while he was still 5ft away from the house's roof!

"YEE-HAW!!" yelled Eddy as he descended headfirst towards the roof

Eddy did a front flip and landed feet-first on the roof!

"Show off!" yelled the smiling Kevin as he landed on the roof

"All in favor of never wanting Nate anywhere near a real plane's controls, say aye!" said Jimmy

"AYE!" Everyone (save for Jonny and Nate) said in unison as they all landed on the roof

"WHOO-HOO!" yelled the bug-eyed Jonny "That was even more fun than when we went on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride last year, huh Plank?!"

"_Eddy!" _Edd said via Eddy's earhole com.

Eddy clicked on the red button of his earhole com. before…

"We're all here!" Eddy said before the screen shifted to the inside of the aircraft. Cody was sitting in the primary pilot's seat while Edd sat in the secondary pilot's seat.

"Good!" said Edd "Find an adequate entrance inside! Once you do so, switch on your communicators!" he finished before the screen shifted back to the top of the roof

"Gotcha!" Eddy said before the screen shifted to the others

The aircraft then turned around and flew off-screen.

"Okay, guys!" said Nazz as she pulled the shovel out of her left pocket "Time to get to work!"

"**"**Heavy on facial powder**" **Nazz girl speaks the obvious verity, yes?" Rolf said as he pulled his axe out of his right pocket

"The attic is just over there!" Eddy said as he pointed to right, where the third section of Cooke house's roof can be seen "We can get in over there and not get caught!"

"Are you sure?" asked Holly

"Hell yeah!" said Eddy as he put his knives back in his holders "There's like 35 rooms in this house! Why would this guy wanna be in the attic? Let's go!"

"How do you know so much about this place anyway?" Nate asked Eddy

"My dad's got blueprints of every house in Peach Creek!" said Eddy

* * *

The screen shifted to the aircraft, which had just now landed in front of the house's bushes and shrubs. It then re-transformed into its tank-like state before the screen shifted to the inside. Contrary to its last appearance, the inside looked like the inside of a van. The group sat at the cousins' PC on the dashboard.

"All right!" said Edd "Cruiser, activate cloaking system!"

The screen shifted to the outside before the entire cruiser suddenly went completely and utterly invisible to it (the screen)! Back on the inside…

"Okay, guys! We are all set!" Cody said before the screen shifted to the top of section 3's roof _"Are you in yet?" _Cody said via Eddy's com.

"No, but we're about ta be!" said Kevin after he clicked his com. on

"Ed! rip it!" Eddy said to Ed

Ed did a military salute before he dug his fingers into the old wood and ripped a huge, pancake-shaped chunk of wood off of the roof!

"Ladies first!" Eddy said with a smile

Brooke, Holly, and Nazz jumped in first. Jonny, Jimmy, Nate, Rolf, Kevin, and Eddy jumped in next. While still holding the chunk of wood, Ed jumped in last and in the process, put the chunk of wood right back!

* * *

The screen shifted to the bald silhouetted figure, who was watching the kids via his surveillance screens.

"Our young friends have returned! Let's see if we can't…" the figure started in a male voice

The room's lights turned on before the figure slowly and dramatically revealed himself to the screen as being…a man that was 6'0 and was wearing a white rubbery skull mask, a tattered black leather jacket, a white T-shirt with blood and a strange green powder on it, dirty black pants, and off-screen shoes. He also wielded a long blade in his left hand.

"…extend their visit this time!" he finished

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of the attic, where the lights were now on. There were boxes after boxes of unopened junk that had cobwebs and dust all over them. The floor also creaked every time someone walked around. The place also smelled bad.

"Ew!" Nazz exclaimed "This place goes beyond gross!"

"I can't imagine the basement!" said Ed "Its probably got like spiders and mucous in the walls!"

"EWWW!" the girls said in unison

Nate walked up to a wall and put a mini-camera on it before it disappeared into the pigmentation of the wall. The screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser, where the entire attic showed up in the left-hand corner of the Sarah's computer.

"They're in!" Sarah said excitedly before the screen shifted back to the attic

"Time ta split into teams!" said Eddy "Remember, if anything happens here that we can't handle, call the police!"

"_Will do!" _Cody said via the com.

"All right! Let's get crackin'!" said Eddy "Me, Nate, Nazz, and Brooke will search here and the 3rd floor! Jimmy, you, Jonny, and Rolf use your _Urban_ _Ranger_ skills to check out the 2nd floor!" he said with a smirk "Kevin, you, Holly, and Ed search the 1st floor and the basement! All right, let's move!"

Everyone except Eddy's group ran towards the attic's exit, opened its door, and went down it. The next thing that was heard was the sound of the door closing.

"Start searchin'!" Eddy ordered

"For what?" asked Brooke "I doubt we'll find the guy up here!"

"We're not just lookin' for him!" said Eddy "We're also lookin' for clues!"

"Why?" asked Nazz "I thought we just wanted him caught!"

"If we find out who this guy is and he somehow gets away, we'll at least be able to help the police snare his ass if we can't!" said Nate

"That way, we'll have a win-win scenario!" said Eddy

"**"**Scenario?**"** Sounds like Double D and Cody are starting to influence you!" said Nazz before the screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser

"That'd be the first!" Edd said with a smile before Sarah giggled

"I have a visual of Jimmy's group!" said Cody as he pointed to the screen

The computer showed Jimmy, Jonny, and Rolf in three different rooms.

* * *

The screen shifted to Jimmy, who was inside of a bedroom. It had a queen-sized bed, a round mirror, and a window near the bed. The place had a musty smell and had cobwebs everywhere. The mirror was also very dusty. Jimmy held his nose and left the room in disgust. The screen shifted to Jonny, who had just now left the room he was in. He walked across the hall and in front of another closed door. Right when he touched the doorknob, the entire door fell down. Jonny looked down at the door before he looked up and developed bug-eyes when he saw where he was.

"Jimmy! Rolf!" yelled Jonny as he put his hand by his communicator "You guys gotta see this!"

Jimmy emerged from the room that was neighboring Jonny's before the screen shifted to the inside of an old bathroom, that Rolf was using!

"Rolf is on his way, **"**he who accompanies a wooden board**"**!" Rolf said as he zipped up his pants, picked up his off-screen axe, and walked out of the bathroom.

The screen shifted to Jimmy and Jonny, who were still standing in the middle of a doorway with bug-eyes before Rolf showed up behind them and developed bug eyes. The screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser, before the thing that the boys were looking at showed up on screen as being…

"Our bikes!" said Cody

"Odd place to keep them!" said Edd "In a room that's already unlocked!"

"Who cares?!" Cody said excitedly "We're lucky that the room that's keepin' 'em has a window that's facing this thing! Jimmy! I want you, Rolf, and Jonny to toss Sarah and me those bikes out the window so we can catch 'em! D, you're in charge of the surveillance monitor now!"

"Gotcha!" said Edd

"Let's go, Sarah!" Cody said as he took out his communicator

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of a dark room. From the other side, Kevin kicked the door down and walked in with Ed and Holly right behind him.

"Must you do that with every door you come across?" Holly asked as she reached for a light switch on the wall

"Pretty much!" Kevin said as he put a mini-camera on a wall

Holly eventually found the light switch and clicked it on. When the group saw where they were, they developed bug-eyes. They were inside of a recently used workshop that had robotic limbs, heads (that resembled human skulls), and torsos on six different tables. On the far end of the room, there were two complete, but inactive robots (that resembled bulky humans with skull heads) that were being held on by cords that were also attached to the off-screen ceiling.

"Yo, Double D!" Kevin said as he clicked on his com. "Do you see…"

"_Indeed I do, Kevin!" _Edd answered before the screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser "And I can't say that I have a good feeling about them!" Edd said before the screen shifted to the inside of a guest's bedroom

Inside, there was a brown/burgundy queen-sized bed, a large dresser, and a huge bathroom. Of course, the entire place smelled bad and was covered with cobwebs. Eddy and Nate were standing in the middle of the room with baffled looks on their faces. Nazz and Brooke walked into the room with the same looks.

"Find anything?" asked Eddy

"Nothing!" Nazz said as Brooke shook her head

"We still didn't check the Master's room!" said Nate "But that son of a bitch is extra tight!"

"What?!" said Eddy "Guys, there could be somethin' valuable in there!"

"But he just said it was closed tight, dude!" said Nazz

"Didn't stop me three years ago, won't stop me now!" Eddy said with a smile

Suddenly, the room's lights turned off before Nazz and Brooke yelped! The screen shifted to the outside of the house before all of its lights clicked off floor by floor. The screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser, where the overlapping voices of the kids in the house can be heard via the group's communicators.

"_What's going on, Double D?!" _Holly's voice said via Edd's communicator

"The perpetrator must have intentionally sabotaged the house's generator!" deduced Edd before the screen shifted to Jimmy's group's window, which was now broken.

Jonny held his scooter out the window before…

"Heads up, guys!" Jonny said as he dropped it

"Got it!" Cody said as he caught it

"That's the last of 'em!" said Sarah

"Guys!" Jimmy said as he and Rolf ran to the window "It just went pitch black all over the house! And Double D can't see us anymore!"

"WHAT?!" Cody and Sarah said in unison before the screen shifted to the inside of the cruiser

"It's no use, guys!" Edd said as he vigorously typed on the computer "I-I cannot see any of you! We must abort!"

"_ABORT?!" _Eddy yelled via his communicator

"Yes, Eddy!" answered Edd "There is no point in continuing this task if I do not have visual of you! You must leave the grounds now!" he ordered before the screen shifted back to the window

"Double D says we have to get out of here, now!" said Jimmy as he stuck his leg out of the window

"Jimmy, what're you doing?!" asked Sarah in concern

"I'm jumping!" said Jimmy "There's no way I'm going back downstairs knowing that guy is probably back in the house!"

"You're on the second floor, dude!" yelled Cody "You'll break your neck!"

"Rolf has a simple result to this issue!" Rolf said as he pointed his finger up. Rolf then reached for Jonny's head before the screen shifted to Cody and Sarah

Jonny let out humorous yells and screams of pain while Cody and Sarah were flinching at the sight of what Rolf was doing to Jonny!

"SHA-TA-HA!" Rolf yelled while off-screen

While still looking up, the bug-eyed Cody and Sarah stepped back before Rolf and Jimmy fell from the second floor while riding on Jonny's enlarged head! Once they hit the ground, Jimmy and Rolf bounced off of Jonny's head before Jonny himself bounced up and landed on his feet! Jonny's head then deflated (like a balloon) to "normal size".

"Never do that again!" Jonny angrily said as he looked at Rolf

* * *

The screen shifted to Kevin's group. Ed was excitedly stuffing stray robotic limbs into his jeans pockets until…

"Ed, time to go man!" Kevin said as he stood in the doorway

"Yeah, let's go!" Holly said

"Comin'!" Ed said as he ran towards his friends

As soon as Holly and Ed walked out, Kevin closed the door behind them. However, the moment Kevin closed the workshop's door, the two completed robots' respective eyes turned red! They snapped off of the cables as they walked towards the door. The screen shifted to the dark hallway of the first floor, where Eddy, Nazz, Brooke, and Nate were seen standing in front of the master bedroom's double-doors.

"_Stop being so stubborn, Eddy!" _said Edd via the communicator _"You have to get out NOW! The perpetrator might already be in the house!"_

"I ain't goin' home empty-handed, Double D!" said Eddy "I just need to check out one more thing!"

"_EDDY!" _Edd yelled via the communicator

Ignoring his friend's warning, Eddy jumped up into the air and fly-kicked the master bedroom's doors open. Inside, the room was large and looked quite unlike the others. It looked fresh and clean. Not a single cobweb was in sight. The only thing that could be seen was a king-sized bed, a closet, and a wall that had a long spear, a thin, but sharp sword, and seven little blades that looked a lot like Eddy's.

"This place looks…fresh!" Brooke said suspiciously

"There's bound to be something here that'll give us a hint about who this guy is!" said Nazz

"Me and Brooke will search the bed!" said Nate "You check out the closet!"

"You got it, dude!" said Nazz as she nodded

Nate and Brooke began pulling the covers off of the bed while Nazz opened the closet, which was larger than most closets on earth! Nazz began walking through the large closet, but could not find anything except empty racks, unused hangers, and foggy mirrors. Eddy was more focused on the sharp weaponry on the wall. He grabbed one of the tiny blades and saw that its handle had "PSMA" carved on it.

"**"**PSMA**"**?" Eddy mumbled to himself

Eddy developed bug-eyes before he reached for the blade in his right holster. He pulled it out and put it next to the blade he got off the wall. Upon comparing the two blades, Eddy saw that both his blade and the blade on the wall said "PSMA"!

"Park's School of Martial Arts!" Eddy whispered to himself

Brooke put her hand on Eddy's right shoulder before he turned around and faced her.

"You okay?" Brooke asked

"I…think so." Eddy said

"Guys!" said Nate, who was half-underneath the bed.

He came out from underneath the bed with a small crate in his hands. He stood up and showed Eddy and Brooke what was in his hand. But they were more interested in the green, ash-like stuff that was on his shirt (just like the skull-man).

"What's that on your shirt?" asked Brooke before Nate looked down at his shirt

"I dunno!" answered Nate "Came from the box!"

Nate got a little "green ash" between his fingers and rubbed it together as he held it close to his face. As soon as it faded, Nate developed bug eyes.

"No…way!" Nate said

"What? What is it?" asked Eddy as he and Brooke walked over to Nate

Nate put the box on the bed and ripped the lid off with his bare hand. Inside, there were six ziplock bags with green ash-like substances in them. Nate grabbed the bag and held it up in horror.

"Oh my God!" said the bug-eyed Nate "It's **"**X**"**!"

"It's what?" asked Brooke before Eddy took it (the X) from Nate

"**"**X!**" **Short for "Zenjex"!" said Nate "It's an illegal drug! People use it to help them relax and reduce stress! Retarded people like my cousin that is!"

"Wait!" said Eddy as he put the drug in his pocket "Did you just say that it stands for "Zenjex"?"

"Yeah! Why?" said Nate

Eddy didn't respond. Instead, the screen zoomed in on him as he began to have a…

**

* * *

****Flashback- Eddy and Russell were standing in front of the latter's wall of pictures. **

"**Found out he was selling an illegal drug called "zenjex"!" started Russell "And he was using my teachings to fight off or kill anyone who got in his way. He disappeared eleven years ago after a long chase. It's a wonder why I still keep his picture up here."**

* * *

The screen flashed white again before it focused back on Eddy in the current time. Eddy had bug-eyes and was looking rather terrified. But strangely…not for himself.

"WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!" Eddy yelled in a worried voice

"_Oh really?!" _Edd said via the communicator

Eddy ran over to the weapon wall, removed one of the swords, and ran towards the closet.

"I'M NOT KIDDING!" Eddy said as he ran into the closet "WE GOTTA GET OUT NOW!!"

Nate (who still had the crate) and Brooke followed Eddy into the section of the closet he ran into while Nazz stood in front of a dead-end mirror in another section before she heard…

"NAZZ!" Eddy yelled as he and the others ran up to her "WE GOTTA GET OUT NOW!"

"Slow down, dude!" Nazz said as she leaned on a low rack "What's wrong?"

The moment Nazz asked that, the rack she was leaning on went down like a lever before the "dead-end mirror" began to open inwards like a door. Eddy, Nate, and Brooke looked bug-eyed before Nazz turned around and developed bug eyes herself.

"What the…?" Eddy said as he looked at the open door

Inside was a downward staircase. It was remarkably dark, but had ball-shaped lights on the walls. Nazz looked back at the others before Eddy looked at her and nodded. Nazz went down first before Eddy, Brooke, and Nate followed.

"Double D?" Eddy said as he clicked his communicator on "We might be a little late comin' out!" he said before he clicked his communicator off

* * *

Inside of the cruiser, Edd groaned of frustration before the screen shifted to Kevin's group, who has yet to leave the first floor of house! Kevin and Holly were standing in front of a bathroom that Ed was currently using.

"Come on, man!" urged Kevin as he banged on the door "Did you get killed on the stall or somethin'?"

The next sound that could be heard was the toilet flushing before Ed emerged from the bathroom.

"Killer's lair or not!" said Ed "A bathroom's a bathroom!"

"Let's go!" said Kevin

The screen cut to the inside of the kitchen before Kevin and his group walked through its door and towards the exit.

"What're you gonna do with all those robot limbs, Ed?" asked Holly

"Hang 'em on my wall of course!" answered Ed

"Dude, you've got robot movies and robot comics!" said Kevin as he opened the exit door "You keep collectin' that stuff and sooner or later yer gonna end up seein'-WHOA!!"

Kevin stopped talking the moment he and his group saw one of the robots that he saw earlier standing right in front of them!

"Is that…?" asked Holly

The robot swung its left arm at Kevin, who ducked and jumped backwards before he went into his left pocket and pulled out his hammer. Ed and Holly respectively pulled out their crowbar and shovel and positioned themselves into a battle-stance. The robot responded by turning it's left arm into a small cannon and firing a ball of tar at the kids. Kevin and Ed jumped out of the way, but the ball unfortunately hit Holly and stuck her to the wall!

"HOLLY!" screamed the bug-eyed Kevin

"WATCH OUT!!" Ed screamed as he pointed to the sky

The robot launched itself towards the boys with its right arm in the form of a javelin. The boys dove for cover before the robot could land and impale them. Kevin got up and struck the robot in its back, but the robot remained unharmed. It then grabbed Kevin by his neck and picked him up by it. Kevin struggled in vain to free himself just as the robot drew its javelin-arm back. But before it could strike…

"INCOMING!!" yelled Ed while off-screen

From the right side, Ed tackled the robot to the ground, which forced it to drop Kevin; who began to catch his breath.

"Yo, Kev!" Holly said as she struggled "A little help here?"

As Kevin ran over to assist Holly, Ed fought with the robot and appeared to be winning! Ed gave the robot an uppercut before it swung its javelin-arm at him and slightly missed his head when he ducked. Ed picked his crowbar up off the ground and whacked the robot in the face. He whacked the robot in the face two more times before it swung its javelin-arm at him again and caused him to duck once more and drop his crowbar in the process. Ed stood back up, grabbed the robot's javelin-arm with one hand, and struck it (the robot) in its back. The robot swung its javelin-arm halfway around and forced Ed to duck yet again. Ed quickly got up behind the robot and delivered a roundhouse kick to the back of its head before it fell face-first onto the ground.

"Thank you, Eddy!" Ed said with a smile

The robot stood its face up and saw that Kevin was still trying to free Holly and was therefore defenseless. Taking advantage of the situation, the robot leaped off of the ground and launched itself at Kevin and Holly at great speed! Ed would've ran, but realized that even he wouldn't get to the robot or his friends in time at the speed the robot was going! Despite that, Ed ran after the robot and…

"LOOK OUT, GUYS!!" Ed yelled as he ran after the robot

Kevin turned around and developed bug-eyes when he saw that the robot has launched itself towards him and the defenseless Holly!

"AAAAAAAAH!" the bug-eyed Kevin and Holly yelled in terror

Just then, Kevin noticed Holly's shovel on the ground. He swiftly picked it up before he swung it at the robot and successfully smacked it back towards Ed's direction. As it flew, however, the robot regained control of itself and landed on its feet! But before it could lunge towards Kevin and Holly again, Ed delivered another roundhouse kick from behind and made it fall on its face again.

"ELBOW SLAM!" Ed yelled before he jumped up into the air and delivered said attack

* * *

The screen shifted to the outside of a door before Eddy kicked it open from the other side.

"If yer thinkin' about bein' a cop, don't come to my house unless I invite you! I mean it!" joked Nate before Brooke laughed

But her laughed ceased when the four teens saw where they were. They were in the exceedingly large basement/cellar. The basement was filled with crate after crate of zenjex. Some were stacked on top of the other and some were freestanding. On the wall that was on the other side of where the teens were, there was a door and in the upper right corner of that same wall, there was a small, rectangular window that looked as if it was closed tight.

"This must be where the bastard keeps his shit!" said Brooke

"So, this guy isn't _just_ a killer, he's also a drug lord!" deduced Nate

"And he's been selling this stuff ever since he came to this place!" said Eddy "And I'm bettin' it's his fault that no one has lived here for eleven years!"

"With all these drugs, he could turn Peach Creek into an even more messed up version of Lemon Brooke!" said Nazz "And like Nate said, people are already going to jail for this stuff!"

"Not for long!" Eddy said "Nate, you still got your gasoline bottle on you?"

Nate went into his left pocket and pulled out his bottle of gasoline. Eddy used his free hand and went into his right pocket, pulled out a square-shaped lighter, and threw it at Nate, who caught it with his free hand.

"Now's the time!" said Eddy "Start soakin' some of these crates, but don't light nothin' till I say so! Brooke, you and Nazz start stacking some of these crates in front of that window up there!"

"What about you?" asked Nazz

"I'm goin' in that room over there!" Eddy answered as he pointed to the door on the other side of the room "I'm willin' ta bet that that crackhead is in there! Once I bring his unconscious ass out here, you torch the place and we get the hell outta here! Let's go!"

"You heard 'im, ladies!" said Nate "Let's get to work!"

The four teens hopped over some crates and broke off to accomplish their instructed missions. Eddy opened the door to the unknown room and walked in and closed the door behind him. Nate took the cap off of his bottle, but just before he began to pour some on some crates, he looked over at Nazz and Brooke and saw that the latter was struggling a little more than Nazz was with lifting a crate. He walked over to the girls and…

"Brooke, me and Nazz will stack these things!" Nate said with a smile "You start pourin' this crap onto those crates! Save you the work!"

Without a word, Brooke took the bottle from Nate and smirked at him. Nazz rolled her eyes and smiled as she put one crate on top of the other. Unbeknownst to the three, however, a silhouetted figure was hiding behind two triple-stacked crates and was looking at them. Inside the room Eddy entered, Eddy walked over to a table with an empty chair. On the table were surveillance screens focused on each room. It was here he realized that the room he was in was the room that the skull-man was in when he (skull-man) was watching them.

"SON OF A BITCH!!" Eddy yelled before he struck one of the monitors with his sword

Eddy began smashing and slicing the monitors in anger. As he continued, something black and fast rushed by him while his back was turned. Eddy felt the wind that rushed by him and swiftly turned around! He walked towards the screen and shook his head from left to right, but did not see anything. Again, the figure rushed past Eddy while his back was turned before he turned around a second time. He looked from left to right, but again, did not see anything.

"I gotta get outta here." Eddy said to himself

Feeling like he spent enough time in the room, Eddy began to walk towards the door. But suddenly stopped when he heard a BOOM that was coming from behind him. Rather than turning his head, Eddy moved his pupils to the right and was able to get a glimpse of what was behind him. It was…a robot! And it was pointing a tar-cannon (just like the one that Ed was fighting) directly at him! The robot unleashed a blast of tar at Eddy before he dropped his sword and did a backflip in slow motion and successfully got out of its way! Unfortunately, the blast hit the closed door and started to dry rapidly. The robot shot at him again before he did a backflip to the left. The robot shot at him once more, but he ducked and rolled to the right.

"Come on, Robo-bitch!" Eddy spat

The robot swiftly zipped in front of Eddy and knocked him down with its hand. It then transformed its arm into a javelin-like weapon just like the one that Ed was fighting! It repeatedly failed to impale Eddy, due to the fact that he kept rolling from left to right. Eventually, Eddy kicked the back of the robot's "knee" and caused it to kneel on that same knee. He then grabbed the knife in his left holster, stabbed it underneath its (the robot's) "forehead", and kicked the robot down. He then yanked his blade out of the robot's forehead seconds before its head exploded. Eddy then clicked his communicator on before…

"Nazz, torch the place and get out!" Eddy ordered as he picked up his sword "The longer we stay, the more trouble will find us! Torch it now! I'm on my way out!" he said before the screen shifted to Nazz, who was hiding behind a stack of crates with her finger by her ear

"That's great, Eddy!" said Nazz "But there's one problem!"

"_What?" _Eddy asked on the other end

The screen shifted to Nate and Brooke, who were having a match against the skull-man himself! The skull-man had one free hand and a thin sword in his other (just like Eddy).

"That bastard that's behind all this is here!" answered the bug-eyed Nazz

"_WHAT?!!!" _Eddy yelled before the screen shifted back to him

Eddy ran over to the robot he killed before the screen shifted back to the battle outside. Nazz, Nate, and Brooke were fighting against the skull-man, but even together, they proved to be no match for him! Nate swung his arm at the man, but the latter grabbed his fist, knee-kicked him in the stomach, and kicked him over to six gasoline-soaked crates. Brooke lunged at him, but he caught her by the neck and threw her at Nate. Nazz tried to fly-kick the skull-man, but he knocked her down like a volleyball and kicked her over to where Nate and Brooke were! The kids stood up just before the skull-man swiftly ran up to them.

"Pitiful!" taunted the skull-man

Nazz and Brooke launched themselves at the skull-man yet again, while Nate stood behind and took out his lighter. The skull-man swiftly swung his sword at the girls, but missed each time. Although, he made up for it by knocking them away or down.

"Come on! Come on!" Nate said as he struggled to make the lighter ignite, which it finally did! "YES!!"

Nate drew his arm back and slammed the lighter on top of a soaked crate before he jumped back cartoon style and the crates blew up! The explosion unleashed a torrent of fire that quickly spread to almost every crate around the basement; soaked or not!

"NO!!!" yelled the skull-man as he witnessed the destruction of his drugs

In anger, the skull-man sucker-punched Brooke in the stomach, picked her up by the back of her shirt, and threw her at Nate, who caught her in his arms and held her baby-style. Nazz rapidly used her martial arts skills to deliver punches and kicks to the skull man, but he used his own apparent skills to block every shot before he kicked her over to Nate and Brooke (who had her arm around the former's shoulder). He then jumped in front of the injured kids and prepared to use his sword to kill them. They would've backed up, but then they would've caught fire!

"You just couldn't respect an adult's privacy, could you?!" said the skull-man "Oh well! Maybe you'll learn…IN HELL!"

The skull-man drew his sword back just before the three teens embraced each other and closed their respective eyes. The skull-man swung his blade at the teens, but suddenly…CLANG! The teens opened their eyes and saw that Eddy (who was looking quite angry) was standing in front of them and had just now blocked the skull-man's blow with his own sword!

"Masquerade's over…Gary!" Eddy said with an angered tone

The skull-man paused for a moment in surprise before he took off his mask and revealed himself to be the same black kid that was on Russell's wall, but was now a grown man in his late twenties! He now had a Mohawk and a piercing in his left ear.

"So, you know who I am and you appear to be skillful in using weapons!" said Gary "You must be one of Park's students!"

"Was!" corrected Eddy

"Eddy…you know this fucker?" asked Nate

"I know enough!" answered Eddy "But that ain't important right now! Get out before the place levels! I'll hold him off!"

Without argument, Nate, Brooke, and the somewhat unwilling Nazz ran over to six crates that were stacked on top of each other and were standing in front of the basement's rectangular glass window. Nate climbed up the crates at a cartoonish velocity before he reached the top crate. He then broke the window with his elbow before he crawled out. He helped Brooke crawl out before doing the same for Nazz.

"Double D, we're out of the house!" said Nazz after she clicked her communicator on "But Eddy is still in there! He's fighting the guy that's behind all this!"

"_Eddy can handle that guy!" _Cody yelled on the other end _"Just go get Ed and the others! They're fighting some robot behind the house!"_

"Robot? Ed? What makes you think they need help?" Nazz asked before the screen shifted to the cruiser, which Rolf, Jimmy, and Jonny were now in.

"She's got a point!" said Sarah "If it's a threat and my brother knows about it, that threat is already taken care of!"

"In that case, return to the cruiser immediately!" said Edd "If neither Eddy or Ed's group return in five minutes, we will dispatch and retrieve them ourselves!" he finished before the screen shifted back to Nazz

"Gotcha!" said Nazz before she clicked her communicator off "Back to the cruiser, guys!"

All three teens ran off-screen.

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of the basement, where Eddy and Gary were staring each other down while the basement continued to burn.

"Let's see how well my old master taught you!" said Gary with a wicked smile

"Let's!" Eddy said bitterly

Eddy and Gary spun around once before they clashed swords. Eddy twirled his sword around and swung at Gary, who blocked his shot. Gary then swung his sword at Eddy's feet, but Eddy jumped up in the air, did a front flip, and landed feet-first behind Gary, which prompted him (Gary) to turn around. With Eddy's back still being turned, Gary tried to deliver a sucker-punch, but Eddy (still not turned around) grabbed his wrist and swung Gary in front of him (Eddy). In slow motion, the two clashed swords again. Only this time, their combined strength was so great that they actually BROKE them. They stared at their broken weapons for a brief second before they dropped them and positioned themselves into a battle stance in preparation for a fistfight.

"Looks like we gotta go with traditional hand-to-hand combat!" said Eddy

"Looks like it!" said Gary

The screen shifted the back of the house, where Ed was still fighting the robot and Kevin was still trying to free Holly!

"I thought all you jocks were big and strong!" Holly said

"I thought all you cheerleaders weren't damsels-in-distress!" Kevin said as he continued to pull on her "But I guess some of us can't help but be based on stereotypes!"

While Ed was starting to tire, the robot began gaining an advantage! The robot held Ed up by his legs and slammed him onto the ground before he bounced back up cartoon-style. The robot then delivered a punch to Ed's face in slow motion, which caused him to stumble a bit before he fell on his knees. He noticed that his crowbar was lying right next to him and reached for it. But before he could grab it, the robot ran up behind him at great speed before it punched him in the back of the neck, which knocked him down and almost out!

"ED!!!" Holly screamed in emotional concern

Her scream grabbed the attention of the robot, which zipped towards them as it transformed its arm into a javelin just like before! No sooner than that though was Kevin able to successfully rip Holly off of the wall. Kevin then picked up the shovel and swung it at the robot, but it (the robot) knocked it to the side with its javelin-arm and punched Kevin in the stomach with its free arm, which caused him to fall to his knees! Holly ran passed the robot and towards Ed, but the robot transformed its hand into a tar-cannon (just like before) and shot at Holly's feet! It missed twice, but got her the third time and made her fall!

"You gotta be shittin' me!" Holly said as she tugged her feet

Ed opened his eyes in time to see that both Holly and Kevin are down. He then looked up and saw the robot performing a backflip in the air before landing between both Holly and Ed. Its back was turned to Ed while its primary focus appeared to be Holly.

"COME ON! COME ON!" screamed the bug-eyed Holly as she continued to tug herself loose

The robot then drew its javelin-arm back and prepared to impale Holly, who was tugging for her life now!

"AAAAAAHH!!" Holly screamed in hysterical fear

It looked like Holly was finished. But just before the robot could strike her, Ed swiftly came up from behind the robot and impaled it in the head with his crowbar! He then bent the crowbar while it was still in the robot's head, but it (the crowbar) didn't break. Ed then slammed the robot against the wall, while Holly sat there and just stared at her rescuer with surprise.

"You know, in my dreams, I fight guys like you until my head gets ripped off!" Ed said to the robot with a smile "But in real life, that's so not the CASE!"

Ed broke the crowbar in half and in the process, broke the robot's head off as well! The robot's headless "body" spun around once before it fell onto the ground. Kevin (who was now all right) had just now helped Holly out of her second tar-predicament, but was looking at Ed in awe the whole time!

"What?" Ed said nonchalantly "Everybody knows that the only way to beat a robot is to rip its head off! Now, let's go!"

Ed, Holly, and Kevin ran off-screen before the screen shifted to the still-burning basement, where Eddy and Gary were in the mist of their fistfight. Gary swung his left at Eddy before Eddy blocked his shot and delivered a roundhouse kick, which Gary blocked. Gary swung again with his left, but Eddy ducked, knee-kicked him in the stomach, gave him an uppercut, and leg-swept him before he (Gary) fell to the ground. Gary then sprung himself back up seconds before Eddy tackled him to the ground! The screen shifted to the cruiser, where Cody, Brooke, Nazz, Nate, Rolf, and Jonny were seen standing next to the formerly vehicles in front of the cruiser. Jimmy was sitting on the cruiser's hood, while Edd was leaning against the vehicle with his arms around Sarah's waist. Ed, Holly, and Kevin ran up to them and appeared to be out of breath.

"Valerie!" Kevin yelled before he ran over to his Vulcan drifter motorcycle and began hugging on it!

"Where's Eddy?" Edd asked as he took his arms off of Sarah

"I thought he was here with you guys!" answered Ed

"Oh my God!" said Nate "We gotta get him outta there before the rest of the place fries!"

"I'll go get him!" said Ed

"I'm coming with you!" said Holly

"So am I!" everyone else said in unison

All twelve kids ran off to go get their friend before the screen shifted to the basement, where Gary had just now kicked Eddy onto the ground. Eddy sprung himself back up and was staring Gary down as he (Gary) cracked his knuckles. Eddy ran towards Gary and swung at him with his right, but Gary blocked and smacked Eddy in his left ear! Gary then swung his left at Eddy, but Eddy blocked before Gary punched him in the stomach, gave him an upper cut (which caused him to jump backwards), and fly-kicked him in the chest before he (Eddy) was sent flying about a foot back. He landed back-first and dangerously close to the surrounding fire, but was still safe. Eddy blinked a couple of times before he looked up into the ceiling and noticed that a long piece of burning wood was about to fall down. He then looked to his right and saw the zenjex bag that he took from Nate earlier. The bag was opened and a little bit of zenjex was on the ground. Eddy developed his trademark "idea face" and grabbed the bag before Gary picked him up by his small neck.

"And so it ends!" said Gary with a wicked smile "I can tell what kind of person you are by the way you moved! You're weak! Not physically, but emotionally! The way you fought me let me know that you weren't trying to kill me! I keep forgetting that punks like you aren't capable of doing what is necessary to beat an enemy! You're too noble!"

"Maybe I am!" Eddy said in a strangled tone "But here's somethin' you gotta keep in mind the next time you make a speech like that!"

"What?" Gary asked as he continued to smile

"I'm a teenager, you dick!" said Eddy

Eddy then slammed the opened bag of zenjex into Gary's face, which got into his eyes and caused him to drop Eddy!

"AAAAH! AAAAH! AAAAH!" screamed Gary as he rubbed his eyes in pain

Taking advantage of this, Eddy sprung himself back up, ran up to Gary, and in slow-motion, delivered a fly-kick to Gary's chest, which sent him flying a foot back before he landed on his back and directly underneath the long burning piece of wood. No sooner was Gary able to see again did that burning piece of wood fall!

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" screamed the bug-eyed Gary

The wood fell on top of Gary and killed him on impact. Eddy stared at his fallen enemy and began to breathe heavily until…

"EDDY!!!" Ed yelled as he stuck his head through the cellar's window "COME ON!!! YOU GOTTA GET OUTTA THERE!!"

But Eddy just now realized that all of the crates have been destroyed in the fire, so he won't be able to use those. He looked from left to right until he noticed his two small blades in his holsters. He pulled them out, took three steps back, and ran towards the fire before he jumped over it, slammed the blade in his right hand into the wall, and began using them (his blades) to crawl up the wall and towards the cellar's window at cartoon speed!

"HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!" Eddy yelled as he climbed up the burning wall

"GOTCHA!" Ed yelled as he grabbed the back of Eddy's shirt and pulled him out of the cellar

The other kids cheer at the sight of their unharmed friend before Ed dropped him onto the ground. Eddy stood back up and looked at the burning house as he breathed heavily and smirked victoriously. Kevin and Nate walked up behind Eddy and put their respective arms around his shoulder as they too smiled victoriously!

"YEAH!!!" Nate yelled victoriously

"RIGHTEOUS!" yelled Kevin

As the kids continued to stare at the burning house, the screen faded to black. The screen reopened the next morning in Eddy's living room, where everyone (save for Jimmy, Jonny, Rolf) was sitting down and watching the news, which talked about the remains of Cooke house and how the cops found Gary's body. Kevin, Nazz, and Nate sat on one black sofa and Cody, Brooke, and Edd sat on the other, while Sarah sat on Edd's lap. Ed was sitting in a chair that was brought in from the kitchen and was receiving a massage from Holly, who looked more than happy to do it. Eddy was sitting in the recliner chair while Nazz was putting alcohol on Eddy's facial wounds.

"That robot took a toll on me!" Ed said "Thanks a lot, Holly!"

"No problem, sweetie!" Holly said lowly

"What was that?" Ed asked

"Nothin'!" Holly said innocently

"You know Eddy, I've got this feeling!" said Nazz

"I'll take care of you, if you take care of me!" joked Eddy

"No silly!" Nazz said as she dabbed the cotton-ball on Eddy's forehead "I'm talking about what happened last night! I can't help but think that what just happened last night, was only the start of some pretty intense stuff later on!"

"That's botherin' my head too!!" said Eddy "And it rhymes with **"**school starts tomorrow!**" **Which reminds me, why're we sittin' in here and doin' nothin'? Let's go for a ride!"

"Sounds good!" said Kevin as he stood up

The screen shifted to the outside of Eddy's front door, where Eddy had just now kicked it open from the inside. Eddy ran out the door with Ed and Edd right behind him. Everyone else started to run home in order to retrieve their respective rides.

"Marvelous to be alive, isn't it Eddy?" asked Edd

"Got that right!" Eddy said as he thought about his death-match with Gary "After all, yer only a teen once ya know! You shouldn't let anything or _anyone_ get in the way of yer life!"

A brown pickup truck honked its horn at the Eds as it drove by. And in the back was…the Kankers!

"HIYA, BOYS!!" Lee, Marie, and May said in unison

The Eds developed bug-eyes before…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the Eds screamed in unison

The boys continued to scream until the screen formed three circles and zoomed in on them before it (the screen) went completely black!

**End of episode 1 **

**

* * *

****FUTURE: "Edolescence" will consist of 4 seasons and a movie. I plan on putting in 10 episodes per season, but I also plan on doing holiday specials, so I may keep you anticipated for a bit just to mess with you! **

**

* * *

****Title reference: "How to catch an Ed" was inspired by various "How to" instruction manuals and the saying "Catcher on the sly". **


	3. Breaking up is hard to Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **Again, sorry for the long delay. The company that's in possession of my Internet was still bothering my family and I. But now, that problem is now nonexistent! Please read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

**EPISODE 2: BREAKING UP IS HARD TO ED**

* * *

Taking place only hours after the previous episode, the screen opened up on the streets of Peach Creek Estates. It was a beautiful Sunday evening and the wind gently blew. On the inside of Edd's opened garage, Edd, Cody, and Sarah were working on the Cruiser. Cody was doing something with a blowtorch to the inside of the Cruiser's hood, Edd was doing something underneath the Cruiser, while Sarah sat on her knees next to Edd and a box of tools and scraps.

"Socket wrench please, sweetie!" Edd asked Sarah

Sarah handed Edd the socket wrench before a cranking noise could be heard. Cody then pulled his mask up, turned off the blowtorch, and stood up straight.

"Well, the touches to the engine are in place!" said Cody "How's it goin' down there, D?"

Edd rolled out from underneath the Cruiser and stood up. His shirt was covered with dirt, due to him being on the garage's floor.

"The final enhancements have been successfully implemented, Cody!" Edd answered

"All right!" said Cody "With this, we'll win that Science Fair for sure!" said Cody

"You guys always win the Science Fair!" said Sarah

"But this year, the prize is extra special!" Cody said as he dug into his right pocket and pulled out a rolled-up piece of paper before he opened it up. It was a picture of a white peach with a red leaf on the top in a pot and on a root. The top of the paper said SCIENCE FAIR: FIRST PRIZE!

"A white peach?" asked Sarah

"Not just any white peach!" said Cody "This is the rare Sugarpeach of Jaud! Discovered by Anastasia Jaud in 1939! It's rare because doctors often use it as a medicine for diseases! Like Aunt Grace, right D?"

"Right you are!" Edd said

"Only three remain in fresh condition!" said Cody "And I will get my hands on it!"

"It's been his dream to obtain it ever since he first read about it in 4th grade!" Edd told Sarah

"Geniuses are always the weirdest guys!" Sarah said as she laughed

"And the most profitable!" Cody added

Edd went into his left pocket, pulled out his cell phone, and looked at the time, which said…

"7:56!" said Edd "Better get you home! Your mother was particularly disgruntled the last time you returned home on a night that was followed by a school day!"

Edd grabbed Sarah's hand before the two walked out of the garage and towards Sarah's home. Edd's father then walked into the garage and watched as his son walked away with Sarah. Edd's dad strongly resembled his son. He had perfectly combed black hair, a five-o-clock shadow, and was wearing blue contacts. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, blue jeans, and black sneakers. He smiled at the sight of his son and hit the garage-door control switch before the door began to close. Cody then turned around and walked towards his uncle.

"Hey, Uncle Cecil!" Cody said to Edd's dad

"Hey!" Cecil responded "Your father says you can stay over for dinner if you want!"

"What do you have?" asked Cody

"Spaghetti!" answered Cecil

"Oh, I'm stayin'!" Cody said hungrily

Cody and Cecil walked into the house before the latter cut off the garage's lights.

* * *

The screen then shifted to Ed's house, where Edd and Sarah were seen standing in front of Sarah's front door.

"This is where I leave you!" said Edd "See you at school tomorrow!"

"Bye, sweetie!" Sarah said

Edd and Sarah shared a long kiss before Sarah walked into the house moments before a silver SUV pulled into the driveway. Edd then walked away with a happy smile on his face. Unbeknownst to him, a telescope in a large bush was watching him the whole time! On the other end, the Kankers could be seen. Marie was the one looking at Edd via the telescope and was red with anger!

"Gettin' mad's not gonna get yer man back, Marie!" said May "Besides, that's big Ed's sister! Whatever you do ta her, he'll do ta you ten times worse!"

Marie looked at Lee.

"Yeah!" said Lee "If you want Sarah out of the picture, you can't do it Kanker-style this time!"

Marie put her finger by her mouth and started to think before she developed a wicked, devious smile. Lee and May also smiled at the sight of their sister.

The screen then shifted to the inside of Sarah's room, which now had posters of boy bands on the wall, a queen-sized bed, and her cell phone and a picture of Edd and Sarah embracing in front of a large heart on her nightstand. Sarah was lying on her bed and was writing in her diary about how happy she was. Her thoughts could be heard as she wrote.

"_It was the funniest thing I've ever heard! I swear!" _started Sarah _"Everyday I'm with Double D or his family, it's like I'm in my own fantasy world! And it's all because of that fateful day!"_

* * *

**Flashback- Four and a half months after the "Big picture show". Edd, Cody, Ed, Sarah, Kevin, Brooke, Nate, and Nazz were hanging out at a freestanding building called "The Sugar Bar", which had a bar table, several red/blue tables, and restrooms. Kevin was sitting at the bar table and eating fries, Brooke was sitting alone and drinking soda at a table, Nate and Nazz sat together at an opposing table as they started slurping on one milkshake together, and Edd, Cody, and Ed sat across from each other on another table while Sarah sat alone on one. Back then, Nate had combed hair (though not wavy like in the present day) and he wore a short-sleeve black T-shirt with a cross and the gray word "Loyalty" written on it, blue jeans, and black Jordans. Holly's hair was shoulder-length and she wore a white tank top with a pink shirt underneath, blue jeans, and sneakers. Cody's hair was the same, but he wore a short-sleeve white T-shirt, blue shorts, and white sneakers. Brooke had her hair in a ponytail and she wore a short-sleeve red shirt, black jeans, and white sneakers with red soles. **

"**Its now or never, D!" Cody said to Edd, who was looking at Sarah **

**Edd stood up, but sat back down out of nervousness! **

"**What's the deal, Double D?" said Ed "You know my sister likes you. Both me, Cody, and Eddy know that too." **

**"How can I be certain?" asked Edd **

"**You won't until you grow a pair!" said Cody "That's what Twan told me!" **

"**Where is Eddy anyway?" Edd asked as he looked around**

**Eddy suddenly walked through the door while holding hands with Tori (who debuted in the previous episode). Back then, Eddy still wore his original attire and still had three hairs, but was noticeably taller (though not quite as tall as he is in the present day), had his quarter necklace, and was much thinner. Tori's pink hair was curled and shoulder-length and she wore a purple shirt that was tied into a knot at the bottom, blue daisy-dukes, and white sneakers with purple soles. Eddy and Tori walked towards the others before...**

"**Tori, hey!" Nazz said as she stood up**

"**Hey, cuz!" Tori said as she released Eddy's hand**

**Tori and Nazz ran towards each other and gave each other a firm hug!**

"**How did the "quick-thinking and deduction skills" exam go?" asked Nazz**

"**Great!" answered Tori "Eddy just passed his exam with flying colors!" **

"**Which is why we're late!" said Eddy with his left eyebrow up "We had a **_**celebration**_**!"**

"**Really? What did you guys do?" asked Nazz **

**Eddy and Tori didn't respond. Instead, Eddy looked up into the air with a proud smile on his face while Tori blushed a little before she giggled softly! **

"**Oh! Say no more!" said Nazz before Nate walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist **

"**Look at that, D!" said Cody as he looked at Eddy and Tori "Your best friend has already made it to third base and he just asked her out the other day! It's time you-"**

"**Uh, Cody?" Ed said off-screen**

**Cody turned around in time to see that his cousin was at Sarah's table and was about to finally bust a move! **

"**Whoa!" said the bug-eyed Cody "First time Eddy steered him right and didn't mean it!" **

"…**so, anyway…" Edd said as he sweated uncontrollably "I was…wondering…if perhaps…you could…allow me to…" **

**Edd stopped talking the moment Sarah put her hand on top of Edd's before she started smiling at him! **

"**Of course I'll go out with you!" Sarah said softly before she put her hands on his cheeks**

**Edd was surprised and suddenly…he stopped sweating! Sarah then moved in to kiss Edd as they both closed their respective eyes in slow motion! Just before they made lip contact, the screen shifted to Kevin, who saw the whole thing.**

"**No way!" said Kevin "Yo, red!" Kevin said as he threw a French fry at Brooke "Get a load of Double Dude over there!" **

**Brooke turned around and developed bug-eyes when she saw Edd and Sarah kissing off-screen.**

"**WHOOOO!" screamed Brooke "You go, Double D!" **

**Brooke's cheer attracted the attention of Eddy, Tori, Nate, and Nazz, who all looked at Edd with surprise. **

"**That's what I'm talkin' about, Double D!" Nate said "You da man!" **

"**I always knew you had it in ya, Sockhead!" Eddy said proudly **

**All the other kids cheered while Edd looked at them and smiled. Edd then turned his attention back to Sarah before the screen flashed white and reopened at Sarah in the current time. **

* * *

Suddenly, three knocks came at Sarah's closed door.

"Come in!" Sarah said as she closed her diary and put it underneath her bed

Sarah's door opened before her father stepped in. Her father bore a strong resemblance to Ed. He stood 6'0, had one eyebrow, and his head was combed just like his firstborn in the episode "Over your Ed". He wore a white dress shirt with an ocean blue tie, dark blue dress pants, and off-screen dress shoes.

"Hi, Daddy!" Sarah said to her father

"Hiya, princess!" said her father "You doin' all right up here?"

"I guess!" Sarah said, "How'd the big sale go at "Rooms to go"?"

"Back-breaking!" said her father "But you know I don't like talking about work! Why don't you head downstairs? We're about to have dinner!"

"What're we having?" asked Sarah

"OTTO! SARAH! PIZZA'S HERE!" the mother yelled from downstairs

"ALL RIGHT, THANKS ROSE!" Sarah's dad (Otto) yelled back at his wife (Rose) "Wash your face then head on down so we can all dig in, okay?"

"Okay, daddy!" Sarah said as she hopped off of her bed

As soon as Sarah walked out of the room, Otto closed it behind them before the screen shifted to the front door, where Rose was seen paying the young black Pizza man, who had about five boxes of Pizza in one hand. Rose strongly resembled her daughter. The only difference being that Rose had non-natural blonde hair and a lighter complexion. She wore a pink dress, a diamond marriage ring, and a bejeweled necklace. Rose paid the pizza man…

"$45.50 exactly!" said Rose

"Thank you!" said the man "And here is your food! _Bon appetit'!_"

Just before Rose could touch the pizza, Ed jumped in front of her.

"I'll take those, mom!" Ed said as he hungrily grabbed the pizza "Oh boy! Oh boy!"

"Hungry little man isn't he?" asked the Pizza man

"Oh, you have no idea!" said Rose "Good night!"

"You too, ma'am!" said the pizza man

Rose closed the door before the screen shifted to the doorway of the kitchen, where Ed had just now jumped.

"Guess what time it is, boys!" Ed said before the screen shifted to the family table, where Eddy, Kevin, Nate, Sarah, and Otto were seen sitting at.

"PIZZA TIME!" yelled the excited Eddy, Kevin, and Nate

Ed walked over to the table, dropped the boxes on it, and sat down just before Rose walked into the kitchen.

"Bring on the pepperoni!" said the bug-eyed Eddy

"And the ground beef!" said the bug-eyed Nate

"And the cheese!" said the bug-eyed Kevin

"How about…" Rose started as she took the box on the top off and opened it "…all of the above?"

"YEAH!" said the excited boys

"CHOW TIME!" yelled Ed

"Just don't take the ones with the most meat like you did last time!" said Sarah

"For real, sport!" Otto said to Ed "We have bones, too!"

Each character grabbed one slice before the screen shifted to the outside of Edd's house, where Cody was just now leaving under the watchful eye of Edd's mom (Grace). Grace had long black hair and was wearing a short-sleeve tan-colored shirt, a blue miniskirt, and off-screen heels.

"Thanks again for the food, Aunt Grace!" Cody said as he walked off

"Anytime, Cody!" Grace said "Be safe and have a good night!"

"You too!" Cody said

Grace closed the door as Cody walked off-screen before it (the screen) shifted to Edd's room, which hasn't changed all that much. He now had a small, two-shelved display case with three golden trophies on each shelf, a larger bed, a new nightstand with a lamp and a clock that read "8:29p.m." and a small, portable refrigerator near it (the bed). He no longer had that planetarium that floated over his bed, but he still had his desk with a skull and his cell phone on it. Edd was sitting under the covers of his bed and was wearing a white T-shirt, yellow shorts, and earmuffs. Before he covered himself with his warm sheets…

"Oh, how I adore my life!" Edd said "I have the limitless love of a gorgeous turtledove and in only a mere ten hours, I can once again live the studious portion of it! Dare I say…nothing shall stand in the way of my future for as long as I live!"

Edd clapped twice before the lights went out and he snuggled under his sheets. Edd then uttered a content sigh before he fell fast asleep. The screen slowly shifted to his clock before it spanned nine and a half hours later at precisely "6:00 a.m.". The screen then shifted to the outside of Edd's house before an old black Camaro pulled up and parked right in front of its driveway. On top of the vehicle was a folded trampoline and on the inside of the car was a Caucasian kid that was about seventeen and the Kankers. The kid had maroon-colored hair and was wearing a blue robe while the Kankers were wearing all-black outfits. The man sat in the driver's seat while Lee rode shotgun and Marie and May rode in the back.

"Thanks for the ride, Alex!" Lee said to the kid (Alex)

"Whatever!" said Alex "Just do what you have to do fast!"

Lee looked at her sisters before they all put on black ski masks and got out of the car. May grabbed the folded trampoline before she followed her sisters to the backyard of Edd's house. May and Marie struggled to unfold the trampoline before May gets her hair caught when it (the trampoline) closed onto it (her hair)!

"_GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"_ May screamed in a whispered voice

Marie and Lee assisted May in getting her hair loose as she (May) continuously tugged! May got her hair loose, but in the process, ended up flying and crashing into Edd's picnic table!

"_SHHH!" _said Lee in a whispered tone _"You tryin' to get us caught?" _

"_Don't worry!" _Marie said in a whispered tone _"Double D's whole family wears earmuffs when they go to sleep now!"_

"_Then why are we still whispering?" _Lee asked

"_I don't know!" _said Marie

May got back up and assisted Marie in setting up the trampoline, which they successfully did.

"Ready?"Lee asked before her sisters nodded to her "Marie, your man, your go!"

Marie jumped up into the air cartoon-style and landed on top of the trampoline before it propelled her high into air just before she landed feet-first on the roof. Lee then did the exact same thing, followed by May. The girls then took off their respective shoes and threw them off of the roof and right next to the trampoline.

"May, the saw!"whispered Lee

May went into her left pants pocket and pulled out the saw before the screen shifted to the inside of Edd's room. Right over Edd's desk, the saw began sawing a perfect circle in the ceiling. One of the girls removed the circular piece of wood before a long rope could be seen going through. In this order, Marie and May slid down the rope and into the room. Marie then spotted Edd's cell phone on the desk before she grabbed it excitedly!

"Got it!"Marie whispered before she gave May a high-five

May's attention quickly shifted to Edd's mini-fridge.

"BREAKFAST!"the bug-eyed May whispered hungrily before she ran over to the fridge

Marie opened Edd's phone and began doing something to it while May took off her ski mask and opened Edd's fridge. Inside, there were two shelves, but only one was occupied. There were four bags of purple grapes, six oranges, five bananas, three Oats n' honey Nature valley granola bars, and six bottles of "Brisk" ice-tea. May put her ski mask on the empty shelve and hungrily grabbed a granola bar before she took a bite without unwrapping it! Meanwhile, Marie had just now sent a message to someone before she closed the phone, put it back, and developed an evil smile!

"Did you do it?" Lee asked as she stuck her head through the hole

"Oh yeah!" Marie said with an evil smile "There's gonna be a lot of cliché' high school drama today! May, let's go! The job's finished!"

May looked at Marie with her mouth full and grabbed a bag of grapes and a bottle of "Brisk" ice-tea before she put it all in her left pocket and closed the refrigerator. May then walked over to the rope and grabbed it while Marie tugged on it and Lee pulled them out of the room. She then placed the circular piece of wood back.

* * *

The screen then shifted to the inside of Sarah's room, where the already-dressed Sarah was seen making her bed in a hurry.

"Come on, Sarah!" Rose called out to her daughter "I have to be at work right after I drop you off!"

"Just a minute, mom!" said Sarah "Let me just grab my cell phone!"

Sarah grabbed her cell phone and picked up her backpack before she put it on her back. She then walked out of her room and down the stairs as she opened her phone and realized that she had recently received a text message from Edd. She pressed the open-message button and read what it said before she developed bug eyes of horror! The screen then shifted to the outside of the house before…

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Sarah

Her scream caused the entire neighborhood to shake!

* * *

The screen then shifted to the outside of J. Wootton High school, which was as big as any average high school. The event board said "Welcome back students!" and "Go Wolverines!". The screen then shifted to the inside of "Mr. Nelson's History Class", where Eddy, Cody, Nate, Kevin, Ed, Nazz, Holly, Brooke, and Edd were seen respectively sitting at a desk while talking and laughing at Nate's jokes.

"One more! One more!" said Ed

"All right! All right! Here's one my brother told me!" said Nate as he laughed "Last year, there was this tomboyish girl in his Math Money Management class. And she went to the bathroom, right? Now, when another guy had to go, he said _"What's takin' that Bitch so long? Why she takin' foreva to use the bathroom?"_ Then my brother says, _"She probably went to both!"_"

The teens burst out laughing in hysteria, even Edd! Edd stopped laughing when his cell phone made a bell-ringing noise in his left pocket.

"Silly me!" Edd said before he went into his pocket "I appear to have forgotten to switch all of my phone's varied sounds to silent! Oh, hello! I've received a message…from Sarah!"

"Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!" said the girls in unison

"Probably reminding him to sign up for chess club!" Nate said to the other boys quietly before they snickered

Edd pressed the OK button on his cell phone before Edd's smile quickly transformed into a serious frown.

"What does it say?" asked Kevin

"That's his business, not yours!" said Brooke

"Was anybody talkin' to you?" Kevin barked

"Text messages are for owner's eyes only, Kevin!" Holly said

"Actually…I'm willing to share this one!" Edd said in a high-pitched, terrified voice

"Are you okay, dude?" Nazz asked Edd

"Let me see your phone!" Eddy said before Edd tossed it to him

As soon as Eddy caught it, everyone (save for Edd) ran up behind him and read Edd's received message. Which read, _"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN! LOOK AT YOUR CRUISER OUTSIDE!"_

"Um…anybody else gettin' a bad vibe here?" asked Cody

* * *

The screen shifted to the student parking lot, where Cody, Edd, Eddy, Nate, Ed, and Kevin were seen running past and jumping over various vehicles until they reached the off-screen Cruiser. The boys (especially Cody and Edd) looked at the Cruiser in bug-eyed horror. The screen then shifted to the Cruiser, which sported heavy damage! The tires were flat, the rims were scratched, and the entire vehicle had massive dents. The windshield was also cracked and had a fresh note on it, which Nate grabbed.

"My Cruiser!" Cody said as he grabbed his hair

"Guys!" Nate said as he looked at the note, which read,

"_LIKE WHAT I'VE DONE WITH YOUR RIDE? IT SYMBOLICALLY REFERS TO YOU! AND THIS IS JUST A START! WAIT TILL YA SEE WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN, DORK! LOVE, YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND, SARAH!" _

"EX-GIRLFRIEND?" the boys (save for Edd) yelled in unison before they looked at Edd

"Double D…did you…?" the bug-eyed Eddy started

"Break up with my sister?" finished Ed

"What kind of absurd-" started Edd

"READ!" Nate said as he handed the note to Edd

Edd took the note and skimmed through it. When he was done, he developed bug-eyes and began to sweat!

"Anything you'd like to say, cuz?" asked Cody

"Yes!" said Edd "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS?"

"Obviously, a note from Sarah! Whom you obviously broke up with!" said Kevin

"That's preposterous!" said Edd "Sarah and I are still very well in a relationship!"

"Not according to that note!" said Cody

"Lemme see your phone again, Double D!" ordered Eddy

"Eddy, I don't think-" said Edd

"GIMME THE PHONE!" yelled Eddy

Edd went into his left pocket and tossed his phone at Eddy, who caught it. Eddy opened it up and started doing something off-screen to it while the boys (save for Edd) gathered behind him (Eddy). Just then, Eddy stopped typing and developed bug-eyes before…

"AAH!" Eddy and the other boys gasped

"What is it?" asked Edd

"You didn't!" said Eddy

"What?" said Edd

Eddy tossed the phone back to Edd before he looked at it and saw a message in his outbox, which read,

"_I have had the utmost pleasure being with you, but I believe that things have reached a point where we must attempt to build relationships with other people. I hope we can still remain friends. Sincerely, Eddward." _

Edd developed bug-eyes and began stammering uncontrollably while sweating rapidly!

"That's how we feel!" said Ed

"Gentlemen, I assure you, I delivered no such thing!" explained Edd

"The evidence don't lie, Double D!" said Kevin

"Neither do I!" argued Edd "I-I promise you! Sarah and I have never once had any issues with each other! And we most certainly are NOT seeing other people! You have to believe me! PLEASE!"

"Even if we did, Sarah wouldn't!" said Nate "Death is out to claim yo ass now! And no offense man, but I don't wanna end up goin' out "Final Destination" style!"

"Me neither!" said Ed "Sorry Double D, but your only option is to run away and-"

"No." said Eddy

"NO?" the other boys repeated in unison

"I know Double D better than anyone." Said Eddy "And I know for a fact that he isn't a liar! Trust me! He wouldn't do it for all the Fava beans in the world! And you all know it!"

Edd developed a relieved smile on his face upon hearing his friend.

"Come on, bro!" said Kevin "Are you saying that someone sent Sarah a fake text using Double D's phone?"

"They must've!" said Eddy "But we'll worry about that later! Right now, we gotta protect Sockhead here! And the best way to do that is to keep him as far away from Sarah as possible!"

Just then, the school bell rang for…

"First period." said Nate

"Good thing you don't have any classes with her!" said Eddy "All we need to do is side-step Ed's sister for 8 hours! Then once we get back home, we'll start scratchin' around for some info on who did this and why!"

"But what about the Cruiser?" asked Cody

"I guess you'll have to buff it out durin' lunch or on your own time!" said Eddy

"I'll help ya!" Kevin said to Cody "I know a thing or two about fixin' vehicles! No matter what kind!"

"All right, let's get to class!" said Eddy "Ugh! Can't believe I said that!"

The screen shifted to the stairs leading up to the second floor, where the Eds, Kevin, Nate, and Cody were seen racing up the stairs and past many students.

"Out of the way! Out of the way! Popular crowd protection squad comin' through!" said Eddy as he shoved his way through all the students

The guys eventually reached the second floor and continued to run to their classes while still keeping a protective eye on Edd. They ran down one hallway before they made a left turn and ran down another.

"WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!" said Eddy as he looked back at the boys as they ran further and further down the hallway "WE'RE GONNA-"

Eddy closed his mouth and developed bug-eyes of terror before he stopped in his tracks when he saw what was in front of him. Kevin ran into him and made him fall, Nate ran into Kevin and made him fall, Cody ran into Nate and made him fall, Edd ran into Cody, but he didn't fall until Ed ran into Edd and made both him (Edd) and Cody fall.

"Sorry!" said Ed before he looked in front of him and developed bug-eyes

In front of them, Sarah was standing in the middle of the hallway with her fists balled up and her eyes red with anger. The hallway was also completely deserted. The boys all stood up before they developed bug-eyes at the site of Sarah, who began walking towards them!

"_You were right about her not sharing the same classes as I do, Eddy!" _whispered Edd _"But that doesn't mean she doesn't know which classes that I take and where!"_

"_She only wants Double D!" _Kevin whispered to Eddy _"We give him up, we go free!" _

"_That sounds like a pussy's way out!" _whispered Eddy _"Besides, there are six of us and only one of her!" _he said as he, Ed, and Edd shook there heads in agreement

As she continued to walk towards the group, Sarah went into her left pocket and pulled out a long, white table that she got from the lunchroom! She then continued towards the boys.

"_But that don't matter if she got as much strength as Ed!" _whispered Nate

"_All in favor of running away, turn around and scream as you do so!" _whispered Ed

The boys all turned around before…

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the boys screamed as the ran away from Sarah, who began to pick up speed as well!

"WHY ARE WE RUNNIN' AWAY FROM ED'S SISTER?" asked Cody "ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE'S YOUNGER!"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DANGEROUS A GIRL IS AFTER A GUY BREAKS UP WITH HER…THROUGH A TEXT?" yelled the bug-eyed Kevin

"I DID NOT BREAK UP WITH HER!" said Edd

"TRY TELLIN' HER THAT!" yelled Ed

Sarah stopped right in her tracks and tossed the table right at the boys as they continued to run!

"INCOMING!" yelled Ed

"HIT THE DECK!" yelled Eddy

All six boys dove for the ground before the table flew over them and bounced down the hall and towards a Caucasian janitor in his late fifties!

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed the janitor

The screen then shifted to the outside of the school before the table and the janitor fell through a window of the second floor, with the latter doing the Wilhelm scream! Back in the school, the boys were still on the ground and still harbored bug-eyes. Ed turned around and saw that his sister was gone.

"She's gone!" said Ed

Just then, the school's bell rang once more.

"And we're late!" said Edd as he and the other boys stood up

The screen shifted to a clock, which read 8:00 a.m., before it (the screen) faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened at the student car lot during 3rd lunch. Cody was working on the Cruiser's engine while Kevin was pumping air into the left front tire. While Cody was doing something with the engine, it suddenly made an exploding noise and started smoking! Cody yelped and jumped back in surprise.

"Man, that girl of D's did a number on this thing!" "There's no way that D and I will be able to repair this thing before the Science Fair!"

"Do you think Double D didn't send the text?" asked Kevin as he continued to pump

"At first, I did." Said Cody "But then I realized what D told me last night when I had dinner at his house."

"What?" Kevin asked

The screen zoomed in on Cody for dramatic effect.

"He loves her." Cody said

Kevin suddenly stopped pumping before the screen shifted to the Eds, who were sitting on a couch in what appeared to be a waiting room. They were sitting in front of a door that read "Hector Caird: Principal".

"Are you sure this will work?" asked Edd

"Just because you hang out with me, doesn't mean that he can't help you!" said Eddy "All you gotta do is tell him that Ed's psycho freshman sister is after you and that we are yer firsthand witnesses!"

The door opened before…

"NEXT!" Hector said off-screen

"That's us!" said Eddy as he and the boys stood up

As they walked towards the door… Sarah came out and immediately caught wind of the Eds! The latter developed bug-eyes and began to sweat as Sarah balled her fists up!

"_I don't mean to alarm you guys, but everything just went warm!" _Ed whispered hoarsely

Moving only his pupils, Eddy looked at the door before Sarah did the same!

"_On three, we make a run for the door!" _whispered Eddy _"THREE!" _

All three boys ran towards the door at a cartoonish velocity, but the red-with-anger Sarah zipped in front of them and blocked the exit! The boys then turned around and made a run for Hector's office before Sarah jumped on Edd's back and made them all fall!

"YOU'RE DEAD, KNIGHT!" Sarah screamed as she put her hands around Edd's neck

Seeing his friend in distress, Eddy went into Ed's left pocket and pulled out a glass cup of gravy!

"EDDY, NOT THE GRAVY!" said Ed

Ignoring Ed's whining, Eddy splashed the gravy in Sarah's eyes, which forced her to release Edd. Hector walked out of his office to see what was going on.

"What is going on out here?" Hector yelled

"THERE HE IS!" said Eddy as he ran towards Hector

Eddy pushed Hector into his office while Ed helped Edd up and followed him (Eddy). Sarah quickly recovered her vision and saw the door close before she developed an evil smile! Inside…

"Gates, you better start explaining to me what the heck is going on here!" Hector yelled at Eddy

Just when Eddy was about to speak, Sarah started banging on the door from the outside!

"Why don't ya ask Lumpy's sister's ex-boyfriend here?" said the bug-eyed Eddy "CUZ THAT'S WHO'S SHE'S AFTER!"

Hector's door eventually broke cartoon style before Sarah lunged herself at Edd!

"AAAAAAHH!" the bug-eyed Ed, Eddy, and Hector screamed as they jumped out of the way

Sarah attacked Edd and pinned him on top of Hector's desk before she put her hand on his throat again! Edd tried to pull her hand off, but she was too strong for him! Hector and Eddy stood up and leaned against a wall while Ed simply stood behind his respective sister and friend. He (Ed) looked frightened as first, but his facial expression quickly changed to anger.

"SARAH!" Ed yelled as the camera shook

Ed's booming voice caused Sarah's facial expression to change. She then realized what she was doing and released Edd's neck before he (Edd) started hyperventilating. Sarah then looked at her brother before she looked at Eddy and Hector. The screen zoomed in on her before the screen shifted to the ISS room, where Sarah was seen sitting in with an emotionless look on her face. The screen then shifted to the inside of the final class of the day: Mr. Wright's Environmental Science class. The Eds, Cody, Nate, and Kevin were seen sitting at a round table.

"My mom is not gonna like this!" Ed said "Destruction of school property and violence towards students!"

"You can't look at it that way, Ed!" said Eddy "Whoever sent that text knew that this was gonna happen! Right after school, we're gonna investigate Peach Creek Estates! Startin' with your house!" Eddy said to Edd

"What makes you think that there is something there to find?" asked Edd

"People in Peach Creek are crafty!" said Eddy "Remember the incident with Jimmy's revenge three years back? As a matter of fact, I'm still pissed off about that!"

"Me, Ed, Kevin, and Cody agreed to meet at Eddy's house to discuss the investigation plan after school!" said Nate "Come over as soon as you're done with your chores…Goody-Goody boy!"

"Will do!" said Edd

"Once we find out who did what, we might have a chance at gettin' you two back together!" said Cody

"Let's just hope we can get a hold of her!" said Ed "Cuz she's the type of person who breaks necks first and listens to reason never!"

"I only hope that my parents do not decide to issue a restraining order!" said Edd

The bell then rang before the screen shifted to the Kankers, who were sitting at another round table that was right behind the boys'. They heard every word that was said and developed disgruntled looks on their faces.

"They're gettin' nosy, Marie!" Lee said to Marie, who just smiled "When are you gonna put the next stage of your plan into action?"

"Relax, Lee!" said Marie "They don't know anything! Once Sarah is grounded and Double D's family gets a restraining order on her, then I'll move in!"

"Good plan!" May said as she munched on some grapes

"Where did you get all those grapes?" Lee asked

"Yeah, you've been eatin' those all day!" said Marie

"SHHH!" May said

May motioned for her sisters to move in so that she could tell them what they want to know.

"_I took 'em from Double D's mini-fridge last night!" _answered May

"YOU WHAT?" Marie and Lee yelled as they stood up

Their scream attracted the attention of all of their classmates and the black teacher (Wright), who was wearing a black suit.

"What are all you starin' at?" Lee yelled "Go back to listenin' to the teacher! NOW!" she yelled

Out of fear, everyone in the class (save for Eddy's group) turned their attention back to Mr. Wright. Eddy's group glared at the Kankers before they (Eddy's group) did the same. The Kankers went underneath the table and began to talk.

"_You took food from Double D's room? Really? Double D? The guy who counts how many ants he has in his ant farm?" _Lee asked in a whispered voice

"_I was hungry!"_ said May in a whispered voice

"_SHUT UP!" _Marie said in a whispered voice_ "Do you have any idea how bad you've just screwed our plans up? They're gonna search every inch of that house and will sooner or later find out that someone was there!" _

"_But they won't know it's us!" _said May _"Unless I did something really stupid like forget something that they could use like-" _

May suddenly stopped talking.

* * *

**Flashback- May unwittingly put her ski mask in the fridge.**

* * *

"_Like…what?" _Marie angrily asked

"_Like my…ski mask?" _May said nervously

Marie angrily reached for May, but was subdued by Lee. The commotion made a lot of noise, which prompted the Kankers to stop for a moment. The screen cut to the surface of the Kankers' table before the girls slowly emerged from the bottom and saw that everyone was looking at them again! The Kankers smiled nonchalantly before Wright angrily pointed to the door. The screen shifted to the outside of the door, where Marie was seen putting May in a headlock while Lee was doing something with her phone.

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" Marie said

"Trust me!" said Lee with an evil smile "Double D will be in your arms before the day is out!"

* * *

The screen shifted to Park 'n Flush trailer park before it (the screen) shifted to the inside of a trailer, which Alex lived in. Alex was now wearing a muscle T-shirt, beige jeans, and brown boots. He was watching TV with two other kids his age, a black one and another Caucasian one. Both kids were wearing the same thing Alex was, but the black kid had on blue jeans and the other Caucasian kid had on black ones. Alex sat in a brown recliner chair while the other kids sat on a gray couch. They were watching football and drinking Jack Daniels.

"_TOUCHDOWN!" _the announcer on the TV said

Alex and the black kid cheered while the other kid groaned.

"GIMME SOME DAP, TRAVIS!" Alex said to the black kid

Travis gave Alex some dap while the other kid banged on his tray table in anger.

"Your team sucks Brandon!" Alex said to the other kid "Admit it!"

Alex's cell phone rung twice before he went into his right pocket and pulled it out.

"Oh, gee!" said Alex "It's those girls again!"

"Why don't they just sleep with you and leave the next morning like normal girls?" joked Travis

"What does it say?" asked Brandon

"_Get off your ass!" _read Alex _"We've got a job for you!" _

Travis and Brandon looked at Alex. The latter closed his phone and smiled before the screen went black.

* * *

**Tribute: "Anastasia Jaud" is named after "Janyse Jaud": the voice actress for Sarah and Lee. "J. Wootton High school" is named after "James "Wootie" Wootton", an EEnE storyboard artist. "Principal Hector Caird" is named after "Patric Caird": an Annie award-winning composer. **

* * *

**Stay tuned for the epic second half of "Breaking up is hard to Ed"!**


	4. Breaking up is hard to Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's note: WARNING! This chapter has a lot of sexual content! **

* * *

The screen opened up in Edd's living room, where Edd himself was seen vacuuming while listening to an unknown song on his white ipod. Edd then turned off the vacuum and took out his headphones.

"Fresh, clean, and spotless!" Edd said as he proudly watched the room sparkle "Now for a nutritious afternoon treat!"

The screen went black before it reopened in Edd's mini-fridge, which Edd just now opened. Upon looking inside, Edd developed a disgruntled facial expression.

"Odd." Said Edd "My wholesome nourishment supply looks as if it has been…altered!"

Edd looked down into the second shelf of his fridge and saw May's ski mask!

"What's this?" Edd asked before he grabbed the mask "Missing sustenance and cliché masks? It's almost as if someone were…"

Before Edd could finish his sentence, his doorbell rang. He put the mask underneath his bed, stood up, and walked out. As he walked down the stairs, the doorbell rang three more times.

"Patience, please!" Edd yelled as he walked off the last step

When Edd reached the door and opened it, Travis and Brandon stood right in front of him with Alex's Camaro parked in front of the house in the background.

"May I help you gentlemen?" Edd asked with a stern tone: almost as if he knew who they were.

The boys responded only by developing evil smiles on their respective faces. Edd developed an anxious look on his face before the screen faded to black after Travis reached for Edd! The screen reopened and showed Travis putting Edd (who was trapped in his own hat bag-style) in Alex's trunk before he closed it and got into the backseat before they drove off.

* * *

In Eddy's kitchen, all the other boys were sitting at Eddy's kitchen table and sipping hot cocoa as they waited for Edd. Nate was wearing a black Southpole hoodie, Ed was wearing a green jacket (like the one he used to wear three years ago, but larger), Cody was wearing a black leather jacket with a zipper, Kevin was wearing an orange hoodie, and Eddy was wearing a white hoodie with a golden dollar sign on the back.

"What is takin' that guy so long?" Kevin asked impatiently "He had more than enough time to do his shit!"

"Maybe he's takin' one!" joked Nate

"D doesn't like to rush when it comes to his chores!" said Cody "Got some unnatural incapability of half-assin'!"

"Then let's go to him!" said Eddy as he stood up "The sooner we set things straight, the better!"

"AAAAAH! I burned my tongue!" Ed said as he fanned his tongue with his hands

The other boys snickered before…

"Dumb-ass!" Kevin said as he smiled and turned his head from left to right

The screen shifted to Edd's front door, which was where all five boys were. Eddy banged on the door three times, but no one answered.

"Double D, open up! It's Eddy!" Eddy said as he banged on the door

Eddy banged on the door three more times and rang the doorbell four more times, but there was still no answer. Eddy then tugged on the doorknob before the door opened! Eddy looked back at the other boys before they all walked inside. Cody closed the door behind him before…

"DOUBLE D?" Ed yelled, but no one answered

"D! WHERE ARE YOU?" Cody yelled "Somethin's wrong, guys!"

"I knew that when the door was unlocked!" said Eddy

"He's probably tryin' to pull our legs!" said Kevin

"Yeah, like Double D would go as far as keeping his door unlocked knowin' that he has private property!" said Eddy

"Well, he's gotta be here, right?" said Nate "I mean, it's not like he's been kidnapped or somethin'!"

The other boys suddenly paused and got bug-eyed, knowing that that's probably the case.

"Hope yer right!" said Eddy "Cody, search the basement! Kevin! Nate! Search all down here and the garage just in case! Ed and I will search upstairs! Now, let's move!"

* * *

Meanwhile at Park n' Flush trailer park, three more cars (not including the Kankers' mom's pickup truck and Alex's Camaro) were seen parked on the side of three respective trailers. Travis and Brandon were drinking beer and leaning on Alex's car while Alex himself was sitting on the hood and smoking a cigarette. On the inside of the Kankers' trailer, the Kankers were sitting on the couch and watching TV until their mom came in. Their mom was slim, in her early forties, and had one trait per daughter. She had May's freckles and Marie's long blue hair. Her bangs covered her eyes just like Lee and she wore a silver dress with a silver jacket and a matching purse.

"What up with the dress, mom?" May asked

"Gotta look nice if I want that custodian job at your school!" said Ms. Kanker

"There's an opening?" asked Lee

"Yes!" answered Ms. Kanker "The previous custodian was gonna retire in one week, but unfortunately for him, he had to retire sooner due to an incident with a lunch table! Can you believe it?" she said as she laughed

The sisters all looked at each other with humorless faces.

"Well, I'm gone!" said Ms. Kanker as she smiled and walked towards the door "Wish me luck and behave!"

Ms. Kanker walked out the door and closed it behind her. The sisters then sprung off the couch and ran towards the window, where they saw their mother drive off in her brown pickup truck. Once the truck was off-screen, the Kankers evilly smiled at each other before they excitedly ran out the door and over to Alex's car.

"Coast clear?" Alex asked before he took his cigarette out

"YEAH!" Marie said excitedly

"Remember our deal!" said Alex "We give this guy to you and make sure he stays, you do all of our homework for a month and a half."

"No problem!" said Marie "Now, give 'im to me!"

"You heard her boys!" Alex said to Travis and Brandon

Travis and Brandon walked over to the Camaro's trunk before Brandon opened it. Travis grabbed Edd, swung him over his shoulder, and walked towards the Kankers just as Brandon closed the trunk.

"Here he is, girls!" Travis said as he handed Edd to the girls

The girls held Edd in their arms as they laughed victoriously and joyously!

"Take 'im into our room so he can get more comfortable, Marie!" Lee said

The screen then went black before it reopened when Edd opened his eyes and realized that he was tied to a chair! He looked around and saw that Marie was standing right in front of him while her sisters stood in the background!

"AAH!" Edd exclaimed

"Don't be scared, sweet-pea!" said Marie "It's just us!"

"If that is your way of soothing my anxiety, then you have, without question, failed significantly!" said Edd

"Now! Now! Is that anyway to speak to your lady?" asked Lee

"_My_ lady? Preposterous!" Edd said "My lady…I apologize… no_ real_ lady, would have someone usurp me from my own residence on her payroll!"

"It was the only way that I could make sure that we have some… uninterrupted alone time!" Marie said seductively

Edd looked at Marie angrily as she sat on his lap!

"You!" said Edd "You're responsible for the destruction of mine and Sarah's relationship! You couldn't handle the fact that we were a blissful item! You make me sick!"

"Ooh!" Marie said amorously "Now you've got fire and brain! I love men like that!"

"Mark my words, Marie…when my friends discover what you have done…they will ensure that you are chastised!" said Edd

"Oh, we know all about your nosy, but cute friends!" said Lee "They'll be taken care of for sure!"

The Kankers laughed before Edd developed an angered face.

* * *

In Edd's room, Ed was sitting on Edd's bed while Eddy sat at his (Edd's) desk with a frustrated facial expression.

"Not a single clue!" said Eddy

"Maybe we missed a place!" said Ed

"We checked everywhere twice!" said Eddy "Even his closet!"

"How about under his bed?" Ed said "If I'm lookin' for somethin', I always find it under my bed!"

"Yer comparin' yerself to a guy who runs check-up observations for shit like his school supplies and underwear!" said Eddy as he smiled in mockery

Ignoring Eddy, Ed picked up Edd's bed with one hand before he revealed May's ski mask, which Eddy noticed!

"What's that?" Eddy asked as he stood up and pointed to the ski mask

Ed looked down and picked up the ski mask while using the bed as a dumbbell.

"I thought Double D kept his hats in some kind of machine thing!" said Ed

"This ain't a ski hat!" Eddy said as he grabbed the mask "It's a ski _mask_, which obviously ain't Double D's!"

Eddy turned the hat inside out and saw a tag with printed words on it.

"_Property of… May Sophia Kanker?" _Eddy said

"KANKER?" Ed fearfully said before he dropped the bed

The impact caused the entire room to vibrate before the ceiling piece that the Kankers came through earlier fell through and landed on top of Edd's desk, destroying it. Eddy turned around and walked up underneath the roof's hole with Ed right behind him.

"A Kanker's ski mask and a hole that leads directly to Double D's room?" Eddy said to himself "THIS IS ALL THE EVIDENCE WE NEED! ED, QUICK! GET A CAMERA!"

"Way ahead of you, Eddy!" Ed said as he went into his jacket pocket and pulled out a digital camera

"Take the picture, QUICK!" said Eddy before his cell phone rang (with a rock-themed ringtone) in his left pocket. He pulled it out and opened it before… "What's up?"

"_We couldn't find him!" _Cody said on the other end before the screen shifted to him, Nate, and Kevin, who were in Edd's driveway

"_It's all right!"_ said Eddy before the screen shifted back to him "We've found some valuable stuff in Sockhead's room! Turns out that seein' him and Sarah together finally made Marie Kanker go off the deep end!" he finished before the screen shifted back to the boys.

"KANKER?" the boys asked in unison

"Shoulda guessed!" said Cody before the screen shifted back to Eddy and Ed, who were walking down the stairs.

"Well, we're on our way out!" Eddy said "All we gotta do now is tell Ed's parents, so they can have a friendly talk with Double D's and _not_ get a restraining order on Sarah!" he finished before the screen shifted to Cody and the boys.

"All right!" Cody said as he gave Nate and Kevin a high-five

As they did so, Alex's Camaro appeared and looked like it was headed for the three boys. As the car drove closer, unexpectedly, Travis and Brandon (who were wearing black suits and evil clown masks) jumped out of the backseat of the car and tackled all three boys to the ground! One easily knocked out Cody, but Nate and Kevin were able to hold their own by blocking their punches and kicks before Eddy opened Edd's door from the inside and saw the brawl. In the car, Alex honked the horn three times before…

"HE'S RIGHT THERE!" yelled Alex "JUST KNOCK 'EM OUT AND GET IN HERE!"

Travis had Kevin in a sleeper-hold before he (Kevin) fell unconscious. Brandon twisted Nate's left arm back before he picked him up and threw him in the trunk with Cody. Travis then threw Kevin in the trunk with his other friends before Travis and Brandon jumped into the backseat. Eddy and Ed ran towards the car, but…

"DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" yelled Brandon

The teens drove off before Ed or Eddy could get to the car. They ran after it, but stopped when they saw that it was picking up speed. However, Eddy was able to get a good look at the license plate, which read "AKA 1999" (the state's name was off-screen).

"Wait a minute!" said Eddy "I've seen that license plate! That's-"

Before Eddy could finish his sentence, his cell phone rang while it was still in his hand. He opened it, pressed talk, and put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Eddy said before the screen shifted to Lee, who was the one calling him! Lee and May sat on the couch with evil smiles on their faces.

"Hiya, Sugarcube! How's it goin'?" said Lee before the screen shifted back to Eddy

"Yer gonna pay for this!" said Eddy "We know you've been to Double D's house and sent that text message to Sarah! And we've got evidence to prove it! And as soon as we show it to your mom, you and your crazy-ass sisters are so fried!"

"_Tsk! Tsk! I wouldn't do that if I were you!"_ Lee said before the screen shifted back to her "Unless you have evidence for why your three best buddies came home with bruises!" said Lee before the screen shifted back to Eddy

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eddy asked bitterly before the screen shifted to Lee

"Everybody knows you have a reputation for leading other people to the wrong places at the wrong time! Even adults!" Lee said "I'll just tell our mom that you wanted to pick a fight with Alex and his boys because you thought they were the ones who falsely sent Sarah that message through Double D's phone! And as you already know, we Kankers are quite crafty and resourceful!" Lee said before the screen shifted back to Eddy

"Yer mom's not even there!" said Eddy "If she was, she would've caught on!" he said before the screen shifted back to Lee

"Maybe so!" May yelled "But she's got a job interview at our school and won't be back til' God knows when! Which means, we get to have a little fun with your friends before she even leaves!"

Lee and May laughed menacingly before Lee closed her phone. The screen shifted to Eddy, who was rather enraged.

"What happened?" asked Ed

"Those bimbos sent Alex Frost to kidnap the boys and Double D!" said Eddy "I shoulda known that that low-life would skip school just to help those bitches!"

"Well, what're we gonna do?" asked Ed

"Only one thing to do!" said Eddy "We gotta save the boys and get to the Kankers' mom! But we can't do it alone! I know just the person to help us!"

The screen shifted to the inside of Nazz's changed living room, which had a Flat-screen HDTV on the wall, a recliner chair, and a white sofa. Eddy and Ed sat on the couch while Nazz (who looked at the boys with surprised eyes) sat in the recliner chair.

"You're serious?" Nazz asked

"Dead." Said Ed

"And we came to you because other than me, you are the best fighter left in the cul-de-sac!" said Eddy "After all, your cousins did teach you what you know!"

"Owen and Tori taught me in my basement for six months six years ago!" said Nazz

"But you can still break necks while still having that body, right?" the smirking Eddy said with his left eyebrow up

Nazz blushed a little before…

"All right, I'll help!" said Nazz "What's yer plan, dude?"

The screen shifted to the inside of Eddy's brother's room before Eddy kicked the restored door (which was like the old one, but didn't have locks and chains on it) open from the outside. The teens ran towards Eddy's brother's stuffed camel before Eddy went underneath the "stomach" of the camel and saw a long zipper.

"Jackpot!" Eddy exclaimed to himself as he smiled

Eddy unzipped the camel's "stomach" before a whole bunch of cotton could be seen. Eddy dug into the cotton and pulled out a gray, toy bazooka that read "Stinkmaster 7000" written on it in black letters. He zipped up the camel's belly and looked at his friends.

"Is that the Stinkmaster 7000?" asked Ed "The greatest stink bomb launcher known to man?"

"You betcha!" said Eddy "Lucky for us, pranks are his life! That and drugs!"

"He does drugs?" asked Nazz

"Sells 'em too I bet!" said Eddy as he walked towards the door "Now, I'm gonna get started on makin' these! Ed, you and Nazz here take this…" he said as he went into his pocket, pulled out May's ski mask, and handed it to Ed "…and explain to your parents everything that I deduced, but don't tell them that Double D and the other guys were kidnapped. We're already in deep!"

"Gotcha!" Ed and Nazz said in unison

"Let's move!" Eddy said

Ed and Nazz walked out the door before Eddy slapped the latter on the butt.

"Oooh!" Nazz squealed before Eddy closed the door behind them

* * *

In Alex's trailer, Nate, Kevin, and Cody were taped back-to-back as they sat in chairs. Alex stood in front of them while Brandon was sitting on the couch and watching them.

"Frost, yer so dead for this!" Kevin said to Alex "You and yer pussy-ass brother!"

"You wanna get body-slammed again?" Brandon asked threateningly

"Look, Eckhart!" Alex said to Kevin "We're just helpin' out a few of our neighborhood friends like you do!"

"Like the Kankers give a shit about you!" Nate angrily said "They will drag yo ass for fun they wanna!"

"For your information Bennett, we don't really associate with them unless they are willin' to pay us in some way!" said Alex "And they just offered to do our homework if we make sure that your loser friends don't try any rescue attempts!"

"That's where you douches come in!" said Brandon "If either one of yer pals show up, we'll frame you for damages!"

"We didn't even break anything!" Cody said

"Oh yeah?" said Brandon as he stood up

Brandon picked up a half-empty JD bottle and threw it at the window, shattering it!

"Looks like ya did!" Brandon said as he sat back down

"But don't think we're gonna just hold you here and not have fun!" said Alex "TRAVIS!"

Travis walked through the door with a red bucket of water balloons in each hand!

"Whose up for a game "douse the douches"?" said Travis

"WE ARE!" yelled Alex and Brandon said in unison

"Damn seniors!" Nate said

* * *

The screen shifted to the Kankers' room, where Edd was now shirtless and Marie was giving him a lap dance while wearing only a black bikini and lipstick. Edd had kiss-marks all over his face and was still very angry!

"You know you like this!" said Marie

"I would find something like this pleasurable if it wasn't you doing so!" said Edd before Marie stopped

"Oh, like you were expectin' to get somethin' like this from Ed's stupid bitch of a sister!" Marie said

"Sarah is not a female canine!" said Edd "And you are gravely erroneous if you are assuming that your barrage of verbal abuse or your attempts to arouse me in a seductive demeanor is going to change how I feel about her!"

Marie angrily slapped Double D before she got off of his lap.

"We'll see!" said Marie before she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her

* * *

At Ed's house, Ed and Nazz were discussing the evidence that the former and Eddy found with Otto, Rose, and Sarah, while backing it up with Eddy's deduction methods. The parents appeared to be rather disgruntled by this.

"This is really cruel!" said Rose "And you said that those three girls that are always bothering you, Eddy, and Double D are the ones who did this?"

"According to the tag on the inside of the mask, pretty much!" said Nazz

"Well, that explains Double D's role in all this!" said Otto "But what about Sarah here?"

"The Kankers know everybody in Peach Creek and their traits!" said Nazz "Including Sarah and her…anger issues."

"Wait!" said Otto "Are you saying that-"

"They knew that Sarah would violently attack Double D if he broke up with her through a text message!" said Ed "That way, Double D's parents would get a restraining order on us and she won't be able to see Double D anymore!"

"And with Sarah out of the way, Marie, that's the one who likes him, will be free to make her move on him!" added Nazz

Otto and Rose gasped while Sarah just sat there with a remorseful look on her face. A tear even made it's way out of her left eye.

"I'm callin' those girls' parents!" said Rose as she stood up

"That's not gonna do any good, mom!" said Ed "The Kankers' mom is stubborn! To convince her, we need to catch 'em in the act!"

"How?" asked Otto

"Trust me! We have a plan!" said Ed

"But for it to work, don't call the Kankers' mom until we give you the call!" said Nazz

Otto and the somewhat unwilling Rose shook their respective heads in agreement.

"Come on, Ed!" Nazz said as she stood up "Eddy's waiting."

Ed stood up before both teens walked out the door. Sarah put her hands on her face and began to cry in guilt. Otto and Rose supported their daughter by rubbing her back.

* * *

Meanwhile in Eddy's garage, Eddy himself was seen loading a small, rocket-shaped stink bomb into the Stinkmaster. He put another one in his right pocket just before Ed and Nazz walked into the garage via Eddy's house.

"You told 'em?" Eddy asked

"Yup!" said Ed

"They're in on the plan, too!" said Nazz "They'll call the Kankers mom when we say so!"

"All right!" said Eddy as he "cocked" the bazooka "Let's do it!"

Eddy, Nazz, and Ed walked into the house before the latter shut the door behind him. The screen slowly transitioned into the Kankers' room, where Lee and May were seen holding Edd down on their bed while Marie was rubbing chocolate sauce on Edd's stomach!

"RELEASE ME, THIS INSTANT!" Edd yelled before the screen shifted to the outside of the Trailer Park "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Eddy and Ed stuck their heads out of a tree's canopy while Nazz simply hid behind a bush.

"Sounds like they already got to work!" said Nazz

"Ed! Goggles!" Eddy said

Ed went into his left jacket pocket and pulled out a new and improved version of Edd's heat seeking goggles (Ed n' Seek) before he put them on. Ed looked through Alex's trailer and saw Alex, Travis, and Brandon pelting Nate, Kevin, and Cody with water balloons.

"The guys are in Alex's trailer!" said Ed "And they're gettin' soaked by water balloons!"

"All right!" said Eddy "What about Double D?"

Ed turned his attention to the Kankers' trailer and somehow zoomed in on their room, where he saw Marie licking the chocolate off of the screaming Edd's stomach!

"AAAAAAHHH!" the bug-eyed Ed screamed

"WHAT?" Eddy and Nazz said in unison

"What is it, big guy?" Nazz asked

"KANKER! CHOCOLATE! BELLY! BEDROOM! EVIL!" Ed said as he quivered

"Oh, man!" said Eddy "We have less time than I thought! Nazz, call Ed's parents! It's time!"

"Hope he still has his virginity when we get him out!" said Nazz as she took out her phone

Nazz walked out of the bushes before Ed jumped off of the tree and landed feet first on the ground. Eddy broke one of the trees upper branches off with one hand before he jumped off as well. The teens then ran towards the Kankers' trailer before they backed up against it spy-style. Next, they ran to the back of the trailer and saw another window.

"All right, Ed!" said Eddy "This stink bomb will make 'em come downstairs and run out the front door! And once they're out here, Nazz will keep 'em busy long enough for you to grab Double D and get out! I'll deal with Alex and his gang of dicks myself!"

"Eddy!" Nazz said "I just called Ed's parents! They're callin' the Kankers' mom now! We better get started!"

"Right!" said Eddy "Ed, gimme a boost!"

Now being tall enough to do it alone, Ed lifted Eddy up in front of the Kankers window. Courtesy of his father's growth genes, Eddy was able to see everything in the Kankers' bedroom. And right now, Marie was still on top of Edd, who now had kiss-marks all over his body!

"AAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Edd

"Save your screams for later, sweetie! They'll be a lot more pleasurable then!" Marie said as she un-strapped her top!

But before she could throw it to the side…

"HEY!" said Eddy

Edd and the Kankers turned their attention to Eddy before the Kankers screamed!

"EDDY, YOU PERVERT!" yelled Marie as she covered her chest "GET OUTTA HERE!"

"Oh, please! Like you have anything to look at!" said Eddy "Now, hand sockhead over!"

"Or what?" Lee said as she cracked her knuckles and walked towards Eddy

"or THIS!" Eddy said as he pointed the Stinkmaster into the room

Lee stopped in her tracks when Eddy fired the bazooka into the Kankers' room. It hit the Kankers' wall and blew up before it filled the entire room with green, stinky smoke!

"AAAAAAH!" May screamed as she coughed

"TIME TO GO GIRLS!" yelled Lee

Marie grabbed her top before the Kankers ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Eddy then jumped off of Ed's shoulder before…

"GO GET 'EM!" Eddy yelled in a demanding voice

Ed and Nazz ran to the front of the Kankers' trailer while Eddy made his way towards Alex's trailer. Nazz and Ed stood in front of the door before the Kankers came rushing out! The girls saw Ed and Nazz and angrily stared at them.

"LET'S GET 'EM, GIRLS!" said Lee "KANKER-STYLE!"

All three sisters charged at Ed and Nazz before…

"Go get Double D!" said Nazz as she got into a battle-stance "I'll hold 'em off!"

"Let me give you an edge first!" said Ed

Ed charged at the Kankers at full speed, which caused them to jump out of the way! Thus allowing him to run into the house and get to Edd!

"NO!" Marie said before she turned her attention back to Nazz in anger

Nazz smiled and gave the Kankers the "bring it on" hand before they angrily lunged at her! At the door of Alex's trailer, Eddy loaded his Stinkmaster with his second stink-rocket before he stepped back and kicked the door open. Just before the seniors could launch another balloon at Nate and the boys, they turned their attention to Eddy.

"EDDY!" Nate, Kevin, and Cody said in a relieved tone

"Gates!" Alex said to Eddy with an evil smile

"Frost!" Eddy bitterly said to Alex

"Always in the wrong place at the wrong time!" said Alex

"So, are you! But I don't be doin' the wrong thing!" Eddy said as he pointed his bazooka into the room

"PELT 'IM!" yelled Alex

But before they could throw them at him…

"HOLD YER BREATH, BOYS!" Eddy said before Nate and the guys did so

Eddy fired the stink-rocket into the trailer before it hit the back wall and exploded! But this one looked twice as powerful as the last one due to the fact that it was clouding up the place twice as fast as the first one! Eddy then stepped into the trailer and closed the door behind him before he dropped the bazooka.

"Now then!" said Eddy before the green smoke covered up the screen

Alex, Travis, and Brandon started to cough before tears started to come out of their respective eyes!

"Why do people always put onions in stink bombs?" Travis said as he coughed

"Shut up and find Gates!" yelled Alex

"But how are you gonna find me if ya can't _see _me?" Eddy asked while off-screen.

The stinky smoke started to make things more and more difficult for the seniors to see. Brandon walked over to what appeared to be three silhouetted figures sitting down. He fanned his hands in front of his face before he saw what that the three-silhouetted figures were actually the chairs that Kevin, Nate, and Cody sat in. But there was one thing missing…the boys!

"What the-" Brandon said as he reached for a chair

Suddenly, Eddy emerged from the smoke and struck Brandon in the arm with the branch he broke off!

"AAAAAAAAH!" Brandon screamed in pain

His scream attracted the attention of Alex and Travis, who ran to aid the source of the scream as the smoke began to fade. Eddy struck Brandon in the stomach with the branch before he fell down in pain. Alex and Travis then showed up and fought Eddy, but neither of them proved to be a match for his level of combat. Alex swung at Eddy just as Travis came up from behind him. Eddy caught Alex's wrist and kicked Travis in the groin without turning around. He then knee-kicked Alex in the stomach before he fell to his knees in pain. Eddy then karate-chopped Alex in the neck before he fell unconscious. Travis then came up from behind Eddy and swung at him, but Eddy saw this, grabbed Travis' arm, and roughly twisted it backwards before the sound of a bone cracking could be heard.

"AAAAAH!" Travis yelled in pain

Eddy then grabbed the back of Travis' head before he bashed it against the wall and dropped him on the floor. Travis remained on his knees before Eddy elbowed him in the neck, which knocked him unconscious. Just as the last of the smoke faded away…

"EDDY, LET'S GO!" Nate yelled "THERE'S A CHICK FIGHT OUT HERE!"

Eddy ran out of Alex's front door and joined Kevin and Cody in watching Nazz fight off the Kankers unaccompanied! May swung her right at Nazz, but Nazz caught her wrist, grabbed her hair, and kicked her in the back. Marie came up from behind Nazz and tried to fly-kick her, but Nazz caught her by the ankle, spun her around twice, and threw her into Alex's Camaro.

"Oooh!" Eddy said as he looked away and smiled

"Girl's gonna feel dat!" said Nate

"Go Nazz! Go!" said Kevin

Lee sucker-punched Nazz in the face, but she quickly recovered and swung her leg at her (Lee). But Lee caught her by the leg and smiled deviously. On that one free leg, Nazz jumped up and kicked Lee in the face with that same leg. Lee fell flat on her face while Nazz landed on one foot and kneeled before she stood up and smirked at the boys, who just stared at her in amazement.

"Hot and badass!" Cody said softly.

"How the hell could you break up with somethin' like that?" Kevin asked Nate, who didn't respond.

"I knew she had it in her!" said Eddy with a proud smirk

Next, Ed and Edd (who now had his shirt back on) came running out with relieved looks on their faces.

"Look who I found guys!" Ed said as he ran towards his friends

"DOUBLE D!" everyone said in unison

"Afternoon, fine fell-" Edd greeted his friends

Before he could finish his greeting, Marie tackled him and pinned him to the ground! She then sat on top of his stomach and puckered up Kanker-style!

"ASSISTANCE, PLEASE!" Edd yelled as he moved his head from left to right

"Nazz, get in there!" yelled Nate

"I can't!" said Nazz as she breathed heavily "I'm too tired!"

"Eddy, get out there and kick ass!" yelled Ed

"I can't hit girls, stupid!" yelled Eddy

"AAAAAAH!" Edd yelled as he continued to move his head from left to right

Eventually, Marie grabbed Edd by his neck and moved his head into kissing place!

"Hold still, will ya?" yelled Marie "Yer killin' the mood!"

Edd put his free hand on Marie's chest (not breasts) and tried all that he could to keep her from kissing him. Just before she reached his face…

"MARIE SAMANTHA KANKER!" Ms. Kanker said while off-screen

Marie looked up before Lee and May woke up and did the same. The kids turned around and saw Ms. Kanker standing next to her brown pickup truck while glaring at her daughters. They also saw Otto, Rose, and Sarah standing next to their SUV.

"LET…HIM…GO!" Ms. Kanker said to Marie

Marie got up off of Edd before Ed rushed over to him and helped him up.

"Thank you, Ed!" said Edd

Ms. Kanker walked over to Marie before the other Kankers rushed to her side.

"DO YOU THREE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE IN?" yelled Ms. Kanker "AND THE AMOUNT YOU CAUSED ME? I HAVE TO TALK TO EDDWARD'S PARENTS AND I HAD TO TALK TO HIS FRIEND'S PARENTS! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS HORMONAL BEHAVIOR OF YOURS! NOW, GET IN THE HOUSE!"

The Kankers turned around and sadly, and slowly walked back to their trailer with their mother right behind them

"Messing with someone who has anger issues!" Ms. Kanker muttered "It's a good thing I got that custodian job at your school! Now, I can _really_ pay attention to you!"

The kids began to get into the SUV. Before Edd could get in, Sarah grabbed his wrist.

"Double D, I-I-" started Sarah

Edd gave Sarah a passionate hug of forgiveness before the shocked Sarah returned the hug.

"Apology…Accepted!" Ed said softly

Edd and Sarah moved their respective heads towards each other before they rekindled their romance with a long kiss!

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!" said the boys

"Aw, come on guys!" said Nazz "This is a sweet moment!"

"It would be if Sockhead didn't have kiss marks all over his face!" said Eddy

"There's gonna be some herpes tonight, boys!" joked Nate

All of the boys laughed heartily while Nazz just sat in the back seat with her arms folded; angered at the boys' immaturity and lack of sensitivity. Otto and Rose smiled at the sight of their second-born happy again.

"Now, let's go home and wash yer face!" said Sarah

"I'd be delighted!" said Edd

Sarah and Edd stepped into the SUV while holding hands before Cody closed the door. Otto turned the car on, shifted gears, and drove off into the sunset before the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 2 **

**

* * *

****Tribute: Alex's license plate "AKA 1999" refers to "AKA Cartoon": the company that produces Ed Edd n Eddy, and "1999" refers to the year that Ed Edd n Eddy first debuted. Nate's surname "Bennett" is the actual surname of one of my friends "Zack Bennett". Kevin's surname "Eckhart", is directly derived from "Aaron Eckhart", one of my favorite actors. **

* * *

**Title reference: Breaking up is hard to do (Although it refers to Edd and Sarah's relationship, it also refers to the trouble the characters went through to carry out the episode's plot). **


	5. Get your Ed in the Game pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **Here's episode 3! Also, I have changed Eddy's last name from "Frost" to "Gates" as a reference to "Bill Gates". My reason for this is because I thought it would be cool to name a kid who has a thing for getting money after a guy who makes a lot of it! That's all! Read, Review, and Enjoy!

**

* * *

****EPISODE 3: GET YOUR ED IN THE GAME**

* * *

The screen opened up on the streets of the little town of Peach Creek. It was a Thursday afternoon and the sun was about to set. Around the corner from where the Candy store was, there was a freestanding graphic novel store with the purple neon sign "Comic Tavern" on the top of the building's edge. Inside, there were shelves after shelves after shelves of Comic books. At the front desk, Ed (who was wearing a red vest and a nametag) was tending to a Caucasian lady who was wearing a sunflower dress.

"One "Star Slayer" Comic for your son and $2.00 change for you!" Ed said as he handed the woman her bag and her change

"Thanks again, Ed!" said the woman "Thanks to your recommendation, my son is less into video games and TV!"

"Just tell him not to eat any weird-tastin' stuff before he reads it!" said Ed "One slice of bad pizza and he'll find himself stabbing things that aren't there with a pitchfork!"

The woman laughed before she started to leave.

"You have a nice day, Ed!" said the woman

"You too, Mrs. Finch!" said Ed

The next thing that could be heard was the front door opening and closing. Next, a black man in his late thirties walked up to the front desk while Ed was wiping it. The man had wavy hair and was wearing a blue dress shirt, dark blue dress pants, and a gold vest with a nametag that read "Troy Murphy: Manager".

"What's up, boss?!" Ed said as he continued to wipe

"Your progress! That's what!" Troy said with a slight smirk "You haven't even been here a week and you've already shown more progress than any employee that I have ever hired! And you're like only 16 or 17!"

"Well, I think it's because I have work experience and I care about people!" said Ed "My friends and I used to work a whole lot just to make a quarter! We even gave people discounts and sweetened deals!"

"You know what, Ed?" said Troy "Even though you've only been here for four days, I think you deserve tomorrow and the weekend off!"

"Oh, thanks Mr. Murphy!" Ed said excitedly "Now I can tell Coach Braddock that I am in the game again!"

"Game?" asked Troy

"Yeah!" said Ed "My school's football team is goin' up against the Chien Cheetahs!"

"That's a Lemon Brooke team!" Troy said "Rumor has it, they use steroids!"

"Even if that were the case, it won't help them!" said Ed

Troy pulled his left sleeve back and revealed his silver wristwatch, which read "8:00 p.m.".

"Your shift's over!" said Troy "Good luck with your game!"

"Thanks, boss!" said Ed before he hopped over the counter

Ed walked out the front door and towards his chained "Speed Demon" bike (that first appeared in "How to catch an Ed"). Ed unloosened the chain, hopped onto the bike, and rode of into the sunset.

* * *

The screen shifted to Cody's open garage, where he, Edd, and Sarah are seen working on a large, black cube-shaped machine. It stood 4.5 feet tall, had a big black button on it, and had a small circular glass door on the top. Cody was doing something with a blowtorch to the back of the machine while Sarah and Edd stood behind him with the latter having his arms around her waist. Cody then turned off the blowtorch and took his mask off before he stood up, brushed his hands together, turned around, and faced Edd and Sarah with a smile on his face.

"Lady and Dude, after two weeks of hard, nonstop work, our vapor emitter is finally finished!" Cody said with a proud smirk

"And not a day too soon!" said Edd "The science fair starts at a fairly early time in the morning! I'm still flabbergasted at the fact that we were able to complete it!"

"I am, too! Especially when our last project got wrecked by a certain freshman!" Cody said as he looked at Sarah with a smile

"You juniors always gotta bring up the past!" said Sarah

The house door leading to the garage opened before Cody's mother stepped out. Cody's mom had brown hair that was in a ponytail and was wearing blue heels, a white dress shirt, and a blue skirt. She was also wearing a bronze nametag that read "Grove College. Kimberly Knight: Astronomy Professor."

"Angelo! Time to come in!" said Kim "You need to rest up so you and Eddward can have enough energy to celebrate your win tomorrow!"

"Who's Angelo?!" Sarah asked as she snickered

"That's my first name! Shut up!" said Cody

The three teens walked into the house before Kim turned out the lights and closed the garage's door. As soon as it closed completely, the screen shifted to Ed, who was following his dad's SUV into the opened garage (which had a silver, used BMW inside as well). As soon as the garage door closed, Otto stepped out of the car just as Ed hopped off of his bike.

"Hey, working man!" Otto greeted Ed before he closed the door

"Hey dad!" Ed said as he ran into the house

In the house, Rose was sitting on the couch while watching TV before Ed and Otto walked into the room.

"Hey, mom!" Ed said as he walked by

"Hi, honey!" Rose said

"Hey, Rosie!" Otto said before he sat in his chair "Anything new happen at Antonucci suites?"

"As a matter of fact, I got promoted to manager!" said Rose "And you won't believe the salary! Oh my gosh! It is-"

"That's nice, dear!" Otto interrupted with a smile

* * *

The screen cut to the inside of Ed's room, which looked fairly modern. It was definitely cleaner and was free of all of the nonsense that was in his closet. He still had his "Gore Fest" poster on his door, but now had more modern day sci-fi movie posters on his walls; including a "Transformers 2" poster over his new, blue queen-sized bed and a "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" poster on the opposite wall. He now had a more up-to-date TV screen with a DVD player, countless DVDs, and a Playstation 2; complete with multiple games. He even got a recliner chair that was identical to the one that had a whole bunch of turkeys inside. Ed jumped on top of his bed and landed backfirst before he uttered a content sigh.

"Life is good!" Ed said as he closed his eyes

Ed's door slammed open before Sarah walked in with an emotionless look on her face.

"What's up with you?" Ed asked

"I need to talk to you!" said Sarah

"About what?" Ed asked as he sat up

"About Double D!" Sarah said before she sat down on the edge of Ed's bed

"Spill!" said Ed

"You know the incident with the Kankers and the text message?" asked Sarah

"Yeah?" answered Ed

"Well, the day after that…he told me…that he…loved me." Sarah said hesitantly

"No way!" Ed said as he developed bug-eyes

"I know!" Sarah said "I wonder why he would say something like that right now! I'm not…ready for those words. And I don't think…I'm right… for him anymore!"

Ed developed sad eyes and thought about what his friend was gonna think. But he quickly shaped up and looked at his sister.

"If yer gonna break up with him, then yer gonna have to find the right time and place!" said Ed

"That's deep comin' from you!" said Sarah "But shouldn't you be tryin' to change my mind? With him being your best friend and all?"

"I'm yer brother, not yer conscience!" said Ed as he smiled "Besides, Double D may not be the toughest guy in the world, but he does have just enough heart to take a blow! No matter how painful! Yer my sister! I only want what's best for you! And that's what you want! Now, gimme a hug!"

Ed and Sarah gave each other a hug before the latter emitted an emotional tear from her left eye and the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened at the J. Wootton High cafeteria really early in the morning. Edd, Cody, and many other young inventors were standing behind their respective tables with their concoctions on them. Edd was sweating uncontrollably while Cody just stood there with his usual chilled-out facial expression.

"You okey there, D?" Cody asked

"I'm…fine!" Edd said nervously "I am just a tad anxious about the competition this year!"

"Name one time that we didn't win somethin' as a team!" Cody said to Edd

Edd stroked his three chin hairs for a moment and thought.

"Exactly!" said Cody "Yer worried about nothin'! None of these guys have what it takes to out-invent the Knights! We've been makin' this kinda stuff while the rest of them where playin' with toy blocks!"

"That is the truth all right!" said Edd before he smiled confidently "Your right Cody! Shall we sanitize the proverbial floor with our competition again this year?"

"We shall!" Cody said as he gave Edd some dap

* * *

On the football field, Eddy, Kevin, Jonny, Nazz, Nate, Holly, Brooke, and many other kids were there. The girls were all wearing the school's cheerleading uniforms while the guys were in their regular clothes and black leather jackets that had their respective numbers and last names on the back. At the top of their right sleeves was a picture of a wolverine in white. The cheerleading clothes were basically a combination of long-sleeve, one-piece bikinis and miniskirts. The uniforms were black and had the white letters "Wolverines" and the picture of a wolverine on the chest/abdomen area. Ed just now pulled up to the front gate before he put his bike on its kickstand and put it with the others. Maggie and Holly had clipboards with sheets of paper and pens on them. The girls were talking until Holly noticed Ed come in. Holly looked at Maggie before she smiled, she rolled her eyes, and motioned for her to go talk to him.

Holly gleefully ran up to Ed before…

"Hey, Holly!" greeted Ed

"Hey there, big guy!" said Holly "I was wondering if you could sign our petition!"

"What's it for?" asked Ed as he took the pen from her

"New cheerleading outfits!" said Holly "The outfits that we have gotta go! They've been outta style ever since the place was founded! And this isn't even a poor school! All we need are at least 500 names and the approving signature of the coach, vice-coach, and principal! We got the Coach and the principal! All we need now is the vice-coach and one more signature! And I pick you!"

Without a word, Ed signed his name with a smile on his face.

"Oh, thank you, Ed!" said Holly before she hugged him tightly

"Now this is what I call love!" said Ed

At the top of the bleachers, Nate and another black kid were arm-wrestling while Kevin watched in boredom. The kid strongly resembled Nate, with the only credible difference being his attire. The kid had wavy hair and wore a short-sleeve, black polo shirt, beige jeans, and black polo sneakers. Both boys were wearing their respective black hoodies. Right next to them was Eddy and Nazz, who were looking at five different cheerleading clothing designs that the latter made. All of which were outfits that showed stomach and cleavage. The one Eddy was looking at consisted of a sports bra-like tank top and a miniskirt.

"Sexy!" Eddy said before he handed them back to Nazz "Where do I sign?"

"What do you mean?" asked Nazz

"You need the vice-coach's signature, right?" asked Eddy

"Yeah? And?" asked Nazz

"Who do you think I am?!" asked Eddy

Nazz turned around and faced Kevin in confusion.

"Kevin, I thought you-" Nazz started

"Lost a bet!" said Kevin "You should ask Eddy why no one wants to play against him in dodgeball!"

"On the bright side, yer still captain and quarterback!" Eddy said as he signed the paper "You just won't be gettin' extra credit for gym class, that sweet lounge, or the right to leave in the middle of a game!"

"Only if it's an emergency, douchey!" Kevin said as he laughed

"Anyway, you got some talent there, Nazz!" said Eddy "Ever thought of gettin' an internship at Fitzgerald's secret?"

"Only for like, the last five years, dude!" said Nazz with a smile

"Well, my mom works at the one near downtown Peach Creek as one of the head designers!" said Eddy "I could talk to her if yer willin' to wait till yer older!"

"You'd do that for me?!" asked Nazz

"Sure!" said Eddy "It's the least I could do after yer mom put my mom through that nutrition thing and helped her lose all that weight! Since then, she's been chasin' her dream and stayin' outta my hair…most of the time!"

Nate and the other kid continued to arm-wrestle until the latter pulled a straw out of his hoodie-pocket and shot a spitball in Nate's face before he (the kid) slammed Nate's hand down onto the bleachers!

"Antwan, with yo cheatin' ass!" said Nate before the kid (Antwan) started laughing "That's why mom and dad don't like playin' monopoly with you!"

"Oh, please!" said Antwan "In the real world, there ain't no such thing as cheatin'! It's called the "gettin' what you want the easy way if you can't get it the hard way" way!"

"Cheating is not cool, Twan!" Nazz lectured "I hope that's not why you were put on the team!"

"Naw!" said Twan "I was put on the team because I had better skills than Rolfie-boy!"

"Man shoulda done intercession last year!" said Nate "Woulda still been on the team and I wouldn't be puttin' up with this guy!"

"_Eddy!" _Ed whispered from behind the bleachers

Eddy and Nazz both heard him before they turned around and looked down Ed.

"_I need to talk to you!" _Ed whispered

Eddy looked at Nazz before…

"Be right back!" said Eddy

Eddy turned back around, stood up on the top bleacher, and performed a backflip before he landed feet-first onto the ground and in front of Ed.

"What's up?" Eddy asked

"It's about Sarah." Said Ed "She's about to-"

"Break up with Double D?" Eddy said knowingly

"How'd you know?" Ed asked

"Confidential gossip chain." Answered Eddy "A couple of weeks ago, Double D told Cody that he…loved Sarah. The following day, Cody told Kevin. Then Kev passed the buck to me. And we both know that Sarah is not that type of girl! 2-year-and-7-and-a-half relationship or not! So, the moment I heard that and found out he was gonna tell her himself, I knew it was only a matter of time!"

"You think I made the right choice encouraging her?" asked Ed "Sarah may be my sister, but Double D's my best friend!"

"Ed, she's not yer baby sister anymore!" said Eddy "You have to let her make her own choices! All we can do is be there for Double D when she makes this one!"

Ed nodded his head unwillingly.

"But enough about that!" said Eddy before he put his arm around Ed's shoulder "Let's talk about you and how yer gonna help us beat the shit outta those Cheetahs tonight!"

Ed and Eddy walked off-screen as the latter began to talk. Unbeknownst to them, Maggie was listening to every word they said and looked worried.

"Poor Double D." Maggie said as she put her hand on her mouth

* * *

Back inside the cafeteria, the science fair had already begun! A Caucasian man with combed gray hair and an Asian-American man with combed black hair (both in their late forties and wearing gray suits) were judging a Caucasian kid that was about seventeen on his invention, which appeared to be a black lunchbox the size and shape of a suitcase. The kid wore glasses, a short-sleeve white dress shirt with a pocket, blue dress pants, and blue dress shoes.

"And would you care to show us the nature of your invention, Harvey?" asked the Asian-American man

"Gladly!" said the kid (Harvey)

Harvey opened up the lunchbox before…

"Lunchbox, two steaks! Medium rare!"

Harvey then pointed the lunchbox at the two judges. Suddenly, two robotic arms emerged from the box with a medium rare steak on a small plate in each hand!

"Ooh, yum! Yum! Yum! Yum!" said the Caucasian man as he and the other man tool the steaks

The robot arms went back into the box before they reemerged and handed them each a knife and a fork! Both men took a bite out of their respective steaks and talked in delight before Harvey looked at Edd and Cody with a snooty facial expression! Cody looked very angry while Edd looked stern.

"Kiss-ass!" Cody said softly

"No need for sacrilegious language, Cody!" said Edd "Reaping rewards by being charitable in the ways of one's desire fails 97.6% of the time!"

The judges then put their empty plates on Harvey's table before they shook his hand. They then walked over to Edd and Cody before…

"And last but not least, we have our Science fair champions from the pass two years!" said the Caucasian man

"A pleasure to see you again too, Mr. Fisher! Mr. Yun!" said Edd as he and Cody shook the Caucasian man's (Fisher) and the Asian-American man's (Yun) respective hands

"What do you got for us this time, boys?" asked Yun

"A vapor emitter!" answered Cody "With just the right amount of liquid, water or otherwise, it'll transform it into a cloud of gas that's big enough to cover half of an entire high school football field before it fades!"

"Observe!" Edd said as he held up a clear pitcher that was filled with fruit punch

Cody then opened up the glass door before Edd poured some juice into the space provided. When the space was filled, the pitcher was half empty and Cody closed the door.

"Now, watch the magic happen!" said Cody

Cody pressed the big black button before the emitter started to enlarge and expose more space under the watchful bug-eyes of everyone else. Suddenly, out of the emitter's extra spaces, red-colored haze emerged in an explosive fashion and quickly spread throughout the cafeteria. All of the people present began sniffing the air and were quite delighted with what they smelled!

"Aah!" Yun exclaimed contently "Makes you feel like you really are drinking it, huh Mr. Fisher?"

"Indeed!" said Fisher "Just think! In a couple of years, hand-held air fresheners will be a thing of the past! WINNER FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, MR. EDDWARD AND ANGELO KNIGHT!!!"

"YEAH!!!" Cody and Edd said before they gave each other a high-five

Yun reached off-screen and grabbed a plant-pot with the Sugarpeach of Jaud (which was seen on a poster last episode) in it and a golden 1st place ribbon. Edd took the 1st place ribbon while Cody took the Sugarpeach and held it in bug-eyed awe!

"_I can't believe it!"_ whispered Cody _"One of the last remaining Sugarpeaches on Earth is finally mine!" _

"Take care of that, Angelo!" Fisher said, "What you're holding is the exact same Sugarpeach that was discovered by Anastasia Jaud herself!"

Cody didn't respond. He just continued to look at his prize in bug-eyed pride before Eddy and Ed walked in.

"Yer droolin' even more than monobrow after he bites into somethin'!" Eddy joked as he and Ed walked towards their friends

"What are you doing here so early in the morning?" asked Edd

"Me, Ed, and the other guys always hang out at the football field in the mornin' to discuss game strategy!" answered Eddy "Way to go for winnin' another one by the way! Even though most people get trophies instead of plant things!"

"To me, this is just as badass as any trophy!" said Cody

Unbeknownst to the boys, Sarah and Jimmy were peeking in on them, with the latter drinking coffee from a Styrofoam cup.

"Ok. I'm just gonna walk in there and-" Sarah started before she looked at Jimmy "Since when did you start drinkin' coffee?"

"Ever since you got me up this early to tell me that you were breaking up with this guy!" answered Jimmy

Sarah looked back into the cafeteria and saw the boys walking towards her and Jimmy!

"AAH!" Sarah screamed before she grabbed Jimmy's wrist and ran off

The two freshmen ran behind some lockers and watched the boys walk off!

"What gives?" said Jimmy "I thought you were gonna break up with him?"

"He's too happy! I don't like screwin' things up for him when he is happy!" Sarah said "I'll talk to him later today."

"And I'll be watchin' like a momma bird!" said Jimmy "In the meantime, you can buy me another coffee!"

Sarah rolled her eyes and walked off-screen before Jimmy followed her and the screen shifted to a clock, which read "7:20 am". The clock spanned five hours and thirty minutes later before the bell rang and the screen shifted to the "Vice Coach's Lounge". Inside, there was a white comfy sofa with four pillows, two white comfy recliner chairs, a long glass table, a Coke machine in the back, and an HDTV with a blue-ray disk player! Ed was sitting on the couch and stuffing his face full of hamburgers, nuggets, meatballs, and hot dogs that were stacked on top of each other in a wheelbarrow. Nate and Edd sat on a respective recliner chair, Rolf sat next to Ed, and Eddy was yelling at Ed through a megaphone like an actual coach!

"EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!" Eddy yelled into the megaphone "C'MON!! PUT YER BACK INTO IT!!"

"SIR, YES SIR!!!" Ed said with his mouthful

"Pray tell!" said Edd "As healthy as it is that Ed is engulfing his protein, why is he doing so this frequently?"

"Cuz Lumpy here is our ticket to victory against those Lemon Brooke douchebags!" said Eddy "Me, Kev, and Nate here have to work out before all these games, but Ed don't!"

"Doesn't!" corrected Edd

"All we gotta do is keep his strength up and make sure he avoids all injury!" said Eddy

As soon as Eddy finished his sentence, he noticed that all of the meat in the wheelbarrow was gone and that Ed had gravy all over his mouth!

"Rolf, go get some more meat from yer locker! FAST!" Eddy ordered

"Rolf will return faster than Victor can chew through Nana's wooden sandal, yes?" Rolf said as he got up and walked towards the door

As soon as Rolf walked out, Holly and Maggie walked in. Holly walked towards Ed while Maggie walked towards Edd.

"There's our star athlete!" said Holly "Ew! You've got gravy all over yer face! But don't worry! I got some napkins!"

Holly went into her left pocket and pulled out a small box of moist wipes. She then took some out and sat on Ed's lap before she started wiping his face!

"How 'bout that, Eddy!" said Nate "It's yer lounge, but Ed's gettin' all the action!"

"Shut up!" Eddy said as he smiled

As Edd smiled and shook his head from left to right, Maggie sat on his chair's left arm and looked down at him before he looked up at her. He blushed and sweated for a brief moment, but shook it off upon realizing that he was in a relationship and therefore shouldn't be nervous around any female.

"Hey, Double D." Maggie greeted casually "Heard you and Cody won the science fair…again!"

"Yes well, to maintain one's victorious record, one must--" started Edd

"Stay one step ahead!" finished Maggie

Edd just stared at Maggie with surprise. There was no girl that he knew that understood the clichés he knew…not even Sarah!

"What? Yer not the only cute and smart person in the school!" said Maggie

"But I am one of the ones that are in a blissful, lasting relationship!" said Edd

"_But for how long?" _Maggie whispered to herself as she turned her head in the other direction

"Pardon?" Edd asked

"I just wanted to know if you are coming to watch me- I mean, us play!" said Maggie

"Of course. Cody and I have sportscasting duty!" said Edd

"Great!" said Maggie "Now, we can talk in between games…as friends!" Maggie said with a slight, barely unnoticeable twitch

"Indeed!" said Edd

"C'mon, Holly!" said Maggie as she hopped off of the chair's arm "Let's join Nazz in seeing how our cheerleading outfits are coming along!"

Holly jumped off of Ed's lap and smiled as she waved bye to Ed and followed Maggie out of the room. Eddy and Nate just looked at Ed with eyes of friendly razzing before Rolf walked in with a whole bunch of meat in his arms.

"Rolf has returned with more palatable flesh for the "two-eyebrows-as-one" Ed boy!" Rolf said as he walked into the room and dropped the meat into the wheelbarrow

Just before Ed could dig in, he noticed that Eddy and Nate were still looking at him with taunting eyes.

"Uh, Double D? Didn't you say that it is impolite to stare?" Ed asked

"You just don't know, do ya?!" Nate said with a smile "Haven't you been payin' attention to Holly?!"

"Whadoya mean?" asked Ed

"Aw, c'mon! Not even you can be that clueless!" said Eddy "The girl gives you neck massages, she hugs you for weird reasons, and she just now wiped yer face like she was yer freakin' mother! Dude…she likes you!"

"Since the day she first laid eyes on you as a matter of fact!" added Edd

"Yeah, why don't you talk to her? Take her out?" asked Nate "You got a job, so you can afford to!"

"I see Holly too much as a friend guys!" said Ed "Besides, I think Eddy might get jealous after the…" he snickered "…incident that caused him and Tori's breakup this pass spring break!"

"SHUT UP!" Eddy yelled into the megaphone as he blushed "We were drunk! Besides, Tori did the same thing with…" he gulped in disgust "Jonny!"

All of the boys in the room laughed at Eddy, even Edd!

"AH, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Eddy yelled into the megaphone, but the boys kept on laughing! "I need some soda!" he angrily said as he dropped his megaphone

Eddy turned around and walked towards the Coke machine while the other boys continued to laugh before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened on the football field after school. Eddy and Coach Braddock were standing in front of Kevin, Nate, and all other football players with an attendance sheet and a clipboard in Eddy's hands. Braddock was Caucasian, stood 5'11, and wore a gray ski-hat, a gray sweatshirt, gray sweatpants, and tennis shoes.

"That's all the players and the help, Coach!" said Eddy

"Good job, Eddy!" Braddock said in his deep voice "But what about our cheerleaders?"

Suddenly, the door to the girls' locker room door slammed open behind the two coaches before they both turned around.

"INTRODUCING…" Nazz said off-screen "…THE, LIKE TOTALLY RE-CLOTHED, J. WOOTTON HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADING SQUAD!"

Just then, Nazz, Holly, Maggie, Brooke, a black-haired girl, a green/black-haired girl, a brunette, and a black girl ran out of the locker room wearing only black heel-less boots, black sports-bra-like tank tops and black miniskirts that showed both stomach and cleavage! As the girls waved their pom-poms and skipped towards the boys, the latter were looking quite lustful!

"_I freakin' love workin' on this show, man!" _Nate whispered to Kevin

"_That makes two of us, bro!" _Kevin whispered back

"Ready for role call, Eddy!" Brooke said

Eddy stared at the girls with bug-eyes before he snapped back to reality.

"Oh… right!" Eddy said "Brooke!"

"Here!" said Brooke

"Uh, Maggie!" Eddy said as he continued to stare

"Here!" said Maggie

"Caitlin!" Eddy called

"Here!" said the black-haired girl

"Monique!" Eddy said with a twitch

"Here!" said the black girl

"_Think he's checkin' yer ex out as well as off, huh Twan?!" _Nate whispered teasingly

"_I'ma drag you!" _Twan whispered back

"Megan!" Eddy said with a slightly lustful tone

"Here!" said the brunette

"And…Ashley!" Eddy said before he licked his lips

"Here!" said the green/black-haired girl

"Everyone's accounted for, coach!" Eddy said as he slammed the clipboard into the coach's chest while still looking at the girls "Megan, can I privately talk to you for a minute? Or five?" he said as he walked towards her

"Sure!" Megan said as she smiled knowingly

Megan grabbed Eddy's right wrist before the two walked towards the Vice-coach's lounge while the girls (save for Nazz, who looked a little angered) exclaimed "Whhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooooooo!!"

"Why'd he have to take the C-cup?" asked Twan

"They're all C-cups, dude!" said Kevin

"But Megan's looked the juiciest!" Twan said lustfully

Suddenly, a white Suzuki busted through the field's gate and drove onto the field and in front of the players and cheerleaders! Next, the car parked right in front of them before three doors opened. In the driver's seat emerged a tall black kid that was about seventeen. He had his hair done into cornrows and wore a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers. He was also wearing a yellow/black leather jacket that read "Mckellan: 1" on read "Cheetahs" on it's left arm. The two other guys were Caucasian and were wearing the same thing as the black kid (Mckellan), but one had brown hair and a jacket that read "Douglass: 15" on the back, while the other had maroon-colored hair and a jacket that read "Hawkins: 21" on the back.

"Well! Well!" said Nate "If it ain't shithead Shawn and his two crackheads!"

The two Caucasian kids walked towards the group in anger, but Shawn put his hand on their shoulders and stopped them.

"Word on the street is that you ain't Vice-coach of yo team of douches anymore, Eckhart!" said Shawn

"So what?!" Kevin bitterly snapped back

"So, with you not in charge, yer gonna lose cuz yer just another bitch-ass quarterback!" said Shawn with a smile

Kevin angrily lunged himself at Shawn, but Nate and Twan held him back before he could swing at him.

"Oh, yeah?!" Jonny said "Well, Kevin or not, we got Ed here! And last I checked, you've never been able to stop him from makin' all those touchdowns in the past!

"And plus, our new vice coach is smarter and more strategic than both Kevin and dicks like you three!" said Ed

"Who?" asked Douglass

"Eddy!" said Ed

"Gates?!" Shawn said in bug-eyed and slightly frightened surprise "That loser who-"

"Was the dude that took over for me as quarterback last year and won us the game after you broke my leg?" finished Kevin as he grinned "You bet yer ass!"

Shawn looked back at his two pals and signaled for them to get into the car.

"So, what?!" said Shawn as he backed into his car "Gates or not, you pussies ain't got a chance this year!"

Shawn got into his car, closed the door, and started it up before he and his cronies drove out of the football field and ran over the gate in the process. In unison, the wolverines uttered a heavy sigh of relief.

* * *

The screen then shifted to the inside of the dark vice coach's room, where Eddy was seen on top of and lip-kissing Megan on the couch! He was shown as wearing white boxers with a green dollar sign on each leg while Megan wore only her tank top and black panties! Suddenly, the door leading to the football field opened before the lights turned on and Ed, Kevin, and Nate walked in and saw Eddy and Megan! Eddy ceased making out with Megan and looked up!

"AAAAAAAH!!" screamed Eddy

"AAAAH!" Megan screamed before she stood up and grabbed her miniskirt that was on the table "Don't you guys know how to fucking knock?!!"

"Seriously, guys!" said Eddy "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't dropkick all ya'll right now?!"

"Mckellan came!" said Nate "And he knows Kevin's not the vice coach anymore!"

"So?" Eddy said as he put his jeans back on

"So, that means they'll be workin' extra hard to beat us since they now know that yer takin' over!" added Kevin

"Guys, when have I ever steered you wrong when it comes to a challenge?!" Eddy asked as he grabbed his shirt off the floor

The boys all looked at each other and grinned in agreement.

"Exactly!" Eddy said before he put his shirt on "You guys got nothin' to worry about! Besides, what's the worst that could happen? If all those rumors about those cock-sucking douchebags takin' steroids turned out to be true?" he snickered

* * *

The screen then shifted to a dumpster just outside of an unknown building. There, Douglass and Hawkins were seen leaning on Shawn's car while Shawn himself was seen going through his trunk until he grabbed a black suitcase and pulled it out of the trunk. He slammed the trunk close and threw the suitcase on top of it before Douglass and Hawkins gathered behind him.

"Those punks'll win for sure with Fuller and Gates on the frontline!" said Shawn as he opened the case "We gotta do somethin'! Otherwise, we'll be the most disgraced team in high school football history!"

"Whadoya want us to do then?" asked Hawkins

Shawn only responded by getting out a small, white spray can that read "JUICE".

"Send 'em a message!" Shawn said with an evil smile

Shawn turned around before Douglass snatched the juice from him and sprayed some kind of green gas in his own face!

"Dude, that was a lot of juice!" said Shawn

"Big deal!" said Douglass "I need the boost if I'm gonna tear those pricks ap-"

Douglass suddenly stopped talking when he developed bug-eyes and his stomach made a gurgling noise. His eyes then turned yellow before the screened shifted to Shawn and Hawkins, who looked scared! Suddenly, Douglass began grunting and groaning in his own voice before he continued to do so in a relatively deep voice! Next, a tearing noise could be heard while Douglass' shadow began to dramatically increase in size (not height)! Shawn and Hawkins looked at Douglass before he (Douglass) jumped up into the air and landed on another building while still remaining off-screen.

"HE'S HEADED BACK TO WOOTTON HIGH!" said Hawkins

"LET'S FOLLOW 'IM!!" said Shawn

The two athletes jumped into the car and drove off after their friend before the screen cut to black.

**

* * *

****Tribute: Rose's aforementioned workplace, "Antonucci Suites", is named after…Aw, you know who it is!! Kimberly's identified workplace "Grove College" is named after "David Paul Grove", the voice actor for Jonny. (And even though it wasn't mentioned, Grove College is a fictional equivalent to real-life, hard-to-get-into colleges such as Princeton, Yale, Stanford, Harvard, etc.) **

**

* * *

****Stay tuned for next half!**


	6. Get your Ed in the Game pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **Here's part 2 of episode 3, dudes and dudettes! Also, I forgot to mention in the last half that the "C. Chien Cheetahs" and "C. Chien high school" is named after "Charlie Chien": an EEnE storyboard artist. Plus, J. Wootton high school has a concession stand and Sportscasting booth that wasn't mentioned in the last half because it was off-screen the whole time. Also, I'm not gonna be on fanfiction as much as I used to because I recently got a job. Anyway, read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

The screen opened up on the J. Wootton high school football field, where the players were seen lining up the orange dummies in preparation for a practice assault. Eddy was monitoring the players as they lined up, while Nazz and her cheerleaders were practicing themselves. The screen then cut to the "Sportscasting booth", which was triangular-shaped, had "GO WOLVERINES" painted on it in white, and jutted out right behind the Home team's football goal. It is right next to the "Concession stand", where Sarah and Jimmy appeared to be working at. Inside the Sportscasting booth, Cody and Edd were sitting at the table eating cupcakes. On the field…

"ED! HUT! HUT! HUT!" yelled Eddy.

Ed saluted Eddy before he ran to the side of a dummy, motioned his leg backwards like a bull, and charged towards the dummy before he knocked it and all the other ones down as he ran like an enraged bull!

"That's what I'm talkin' about, monobrow!" cheered Eddy.

The other boys cheered while Ed took his helmet off and bowed. Inside the Concession stand, Sarah was wiping the counter off while the stern-in-the-face Jimmy just stood there and looked at her with his arms folded.

"I'll never understand why boys think being destructive is funny!" said Sarah.

Sarah continued to wipe until Jimmy's sustained focus on her caught her eye.

"What?" Sarah said after she suddenly stopped wiping.

"What?" Jimmy repeated "School's over, the night is about to fall, and you _still _haven't broken up with Double D yet! And don't say you haven't found the right moment!"

"Well, I haven't!" said Sarah "Maybe you don't care about how peer pressure affects him, but I do!"

"Sarah, you know I care about everyone as well as you!" said Jimmy "That's why I'm telling you to break up with him now! Who knows how long it will be before Double D gives you something special enough to prevent you from breaking up with him and breaking his heart? What if he suffers from a fatal physical injury and you haven't told him and his only solace is the fact that you still are romantically involved with him?"

Sarah looked down and thought for a moment until she came to realize that Jimmy was right.

"Thanks, Jimmy." Said Sarah "Yer a true friend!"

Sarah and Jimmy hugged before the former emitted a tear from her left eye. On the field, the cheerleaders were finishing the last of their routine.

"WE'RE THE BEST!! OF THE BEST!! SO JUST FORGET... ALL THE REST!" sang the cheerleaders as they waved their pom-poms and swung their hips.

"Good job, girls!" said Nazz.

All of the girls then hugged one another before they all sat down onto the bleachers. Just then, Nate walked up to them with a bottle of cherry coke in his left hand.

"Hey, Ladies!" said Nate.

"Hi, Nate!" the cheerleaders greeted in unison.

"Brooke, I got you some Cherry Coke!" said Nate "Might need the caffeine to stay awake knowing how long these "first games of the season" last!"

"Awww!" said the other girls as Brooke took the soda from Nate.

"Let me know if ya need anything el-UHHH!" Nate yelled as Twan tackled him to the ground.

"Payback!" said Twan as he smiled.

"Yo ass is mine!" Nate yelled as he got up and chased Twan.

"Wonder why he hasn't talked to you yet!" said Maggie.

"We're just friends, Maggie!" Brooke said as she opened her soda.

The moment Brooke took a sip from her drink, the ground and the screen began to quake.

"You guys feel that?" asked Holly.

The ground and the screen quaked again, but this time, it was a little rougher.

"There it is again!" said Nazz before all of the girls stood up.

On the field, the boys were also affected by the random trembling phenomenon. Ed, who was talking to Eddy, turned around and looked up into the sky before he developed bug-eyes at the sight of what was off-screen.

"Uh…Guys!" Ed said as he pointed to the sky.

The players and the cheerleaders looked up at what was in the sky. All that could be seen was a large silhouetted figure that was blocking the sun. The figure then slowly descended from the sky and landed right in front of the players, which in the process, caused the ground and the screen to quake violently. The figure stood 6'3, had all-yellow eyes, was unnaturally bulk, had gray skin, and wore a torn-up shirt and jacket, torn-up jeans that only go to his knees, and torn-up sneakers that exposed his toes. Everyone looked at him in bug-eyed shock that was so overwhelming, that they couldn't even speak. The figure then looked at Ed and smiled sinisterly!

"D-Douglass?" Ed uttered in surprise.

"FULLER!!!" yelled Douglass in a deep voice before the screen shifted to Sarah and Jimmy.

"Am I crazy or did that thing just call yer brother out?!" asked Jimmy.

"What's he want with Ed?" asked Cody.

"Doesn't look like he's happy to see Ed!" said Nazz, which prompted Holly to develop a concerned look on her face.

Douglass then drew his left arm back before…

"RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" roared Douglass as he swung his arm at Ed, who ducked.

The players and Ed jumped backwards, but it looked like Douglass was only after Ed. Douglass swung both arms at Ed, but Ed blocked them both. Douglass then cupped his hands together and tried to double-punch Ed, but Ed jumped back and kicked Douglass down as he did a backflip. Douglass quickly got back up before he cupped his hands together again and struck the ground before a large "wave" of dirt formed and quickly headed for Ed. Ed jumped up into the air and cupped his hands together before he slowly descended and delivered a powerful blow to Douglass' head, which created a large crack in the middle of the field!

"ALL OF YOU!!! INTO THE VICE-COACH'S ROOM!! NOW!!!" yelled Eddy.

As Ed continued to fight Douglass, the players and the cheerleaders made a run for the Vice-Coach's lounge on Eddy's demand.

"YOU 4!! LET'S GO!!" yelled Eddy as he pointed to Edd, Cody, Sarah, and Jimmy.

Sarah and Jimmy hopped over the counter while Cody and Edd ran out of the side door before they all made a run for the Vice Coach's lounge. Back on the field, Douglass had just now ripped a huge rock right out of the ground while Ed's back was turned!

"CATCH, FULLER!!!" Douglass growled as he tossed the rock at Ed, who then turned around.

The speed the rock was coming at him prevented Ed from positioning himself into a catching/counter-attacking stance. Ed then ducked before the rock flew over his head and towards the still-running group! More specifically: Brooke!

"BROOKE!!!!" Ed yelled, which prompted both Brooke and Nate to turn around in bug-eyed horror.

"AAAAAAH!!" screamed Brooke as she looked at the on-coming boulder.

"NOOO!!!" Nate yelled as he ran towards Brooke in slow motion.

Nate wrapped his arms around Brooke's waist and pulled both himself and her to the ground only milliseconds before the rock could land on Brooke and put her to death. Brooke, who had her eyes closed, opened them up and saw that she was alive and well. She then looked at her rescuer and just stared at him in surprise.

"You…saved me!" Brooke said in surprise.

Nate responded only by smiling at her in relief.

"BREAK IT UP!!!" yelled Kevin "GET OVER HERE!!"

Eddy and Kevin stood outside of the opened door of the VC's lounge, which everyone else was going through. Nate grabbed Brooke's arm and got her up before they both ran into the room.

"GO!" ordered Kevin.

Eddy ran into the room before Kevin did the same and closed the door behind him. Inside, Jonny had just now opened the blinds so that they could see Ed and Douglass' fight. Twan and Edd both sat in a recliner chair, Eddy, Kevin, Nate, Jonny, Cody, and Sarah stood in front of the window, while Nazz, Holly, and Maggie sat on the couch before being joined by Brooke. Everyone else was just standing around in relief.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Nazz asked Brooke.

Brooke's only answer was a nod before she looked over at Nate.

"Shouldn't you guys help him?" Sarah asked.

"I know she's crazy, Plank!" Jonny said "The moment you step out there, you sign a death warrant!"

"That's Douglass Ed's fightin' out there!" said Kevin "But what I wanna know is how the hell he ended up on the Hulk's side of the gene pool!"

"A better question right now would be why he has a vendetta against the Lump!" said Eddy.

"I haven't seen someone go this far off the deep end since Jonny went **"**Gourd-o Crazy!**"**" said Cody.

Back on the field, Ed was staring down the athletic leviathan that is Douglass.

"This…ends…HERE!!" yelled Ed before he charged at Douglass.

Douglass drew his right arm back and smiled evilly. But before he could swing at him, a gurgling noise could be heard in his stomach. He then fell to his knees seconds before Ed stopped in his tracks and uttered "Huh?". Douglass then fell on his back and held his stomach in pain as he grunted and groaned. Next, much to Ed's surprise, Douglass began shrinking back to normal size!

"No…way!" said Ed.

When Douglass was back to normal size, he appeared to have fell into unconsciousness. Ed then looked up and saw Shawn's car before it drove off to an unknown location. Moments later, Ed's friends came rushing out, with Holly and Sarah in front.

"ED!!!" yelled the concerned Sarah.

"It's all right, sis!" said Ed as he hugged both her and Holly "Yer bro's all right!"

Everyone (save for Eddy, Kevin, Nate, and Cody) congratulated Ed for his bravery and boldness. The four boys just mentioned were more interested in the unconscious Douglass.

"How do ya think he ended up becomin' an extra large Schwarzenegger?" asked Kevin.

"And why was he after Ed?" added Nate.

"Obviously, he wanted to kill our chances of winnin' the game so badly that he was willin' to drug himself to do the job!" Eddy deduced before Edd kneeled down and put his finger on Douglass' Cartoid pulse (neck).

"He's alive." Said Edd "And his heartbeat is starting to stabilize!"

"Good." said Cody "We need him alive if we're gonna study him!"

"There's no time for that!" said Nazz "The game starts in two hours!"

"That's more than enough time if you got a genius-level IQ, babe!" Cody said arrogantly.

"She's right!" said Eddy "All of us can't go! So me, Ed, Cody, and Double D will go home and study this guy! Kevin, I'm leavin' you in charge of practice until we get back! Cody, help me get him up!"

Eddy and Cody each grabbed one of Douglass' arms before they pulled him up and put them on their respective shoulders.

"Let's go, boys!" Eddy ordered.

The boys walked off-screen before it (the screen) faded to black.

* * *

The screen opened up in a dark, advanced-looking workshop. It looked almost like a combination of a library and a laboratory. There was a bookshelf, a shelf of chemicals and formulas, a long white table, and different types of machines (including the emitter) in a corner. There was also a large computer with Cody's Sugarpeach neighboring it. Edd was working on the computer, while Cody was monitoring the still-unconscious Douglass, who was laying on a gurney-like bed with an oxygen mask (powered by an oxygen tank) covering his mouth and six other cords that were located specifically over where his lungs are. Eddy was sitting in a chair while twirling his quarter-necklace around. Ed was just staring at all of Cody's inventions in the corner.

"Anything yet, Double D?" asked Eddy.

"Believe me when I say that I am working as prompt as I can, Eddy!" said Edd as he typed on the computer at a cartoonish velocity "But whatever is within Mr. Douglass, it must be working itself out of his system just as- OH MY!"

"What?! What is it?!" Eddy asked as he stood up.

"Cody, I think you need to observe this data!" said Edd.

Cody turned around and walked towards the computer with Ed right behind him. Cody looked at the screen in horror when he saw what was on it. It was some kind of formula that took the shape of a small, spike-less sea urchin with a "tail" that was shaped like a "Q". Its numerical and/or alphabetical formula was off-screen.

"_Oh my god!"_ Cody said in a low voice "That's the formula for Cynyen!"

"The formula for what?" asked Eddy.

"Cynyen!" repeated Edd "It's a muscle-escalating drug that is prohibited in the United States and Canada!"

"In English?" said Ed.

"Super Steroids!" said Cody before he began typing on the computer.

"What?! Steroids?!" Ed said in outrage "So, the rumors about those balls-lickers usin' 'em _is_ true!!"

"Athletes usin' steroids, huh?" said Eddy "Crazy how desperate they are just to beat one person!"

"It's not just that!" said Cody before he typed in another key. The moment he did, Douglass' lungs appeared on screen as well as some green particles "The version this guy used must've been in vapor form. And since the particles in his lungs haven't disappeared just yet, that tells me that he took a major dosage!"

"And imagine what would happen if the remaining players of our opposing crowd took even a slightly more concentrated quantity!" said Edd "Quite possibly…unlike our friend over there…they could remain like that!"

Ed and Eddy took a dramatic pause for a brief second.

"Not even Ed can take on a football team worth of incredible hulks!" said Eddy "What do we do?"

"Only one thing to do!" said Cody "Get a cure! And there is only one thing on this planet that offers it!" he finished as he looked at his Sugarpeach in sadness.

"Cody…" started Edd.

"It's our only chance, D!" said Cody sadly "It's not just Ed's ass at stake…it's everyone who's at the game!"

"How's a white peach gonna help?" Eddy asked.

"The fluid that resides within the Sugarpeach serves as the polar opposite of the components that dwell within Cynyen!" said Edd "And with a little assistance from a certain victorious science fair project, we'll be able to expel the drug's particles from the consumers' bodily structure!"

"And since they'll be inhaling the stuff, we can't miss!" said Cody "All we need to do is keep them on the field and away from bystanders!"

"That project of yers isn't exactly small!" said Eddy "Ed, ask yer dad if we could borrow his SUV for a minute!"

"Will do!" said Ed as he went into his left pocket and pulled his phone out.

Eddy went into his own pocket, pulled out his own phone, and called Kevin.

"Bro! Yeah, we got facts!" said Eddy "Tell everyone to get back inside the VC's lounge! Yer not gonna believe what you hear when we get over there!" he said before he hung up.

"Eddy! My dad says we can use his car as long as we don't scratch it or nothin'!" said Ed.

"Sweet! Now, grab that emitter thing!" said Eddy before he walked over to Douglass "Cody, help me with this guy will ya?"

* * *

Behind a dumpster at Wootton high school, Shawn and Hawkins were talking in frustration about what happened. Their football uniforms consisted of white jerseys, tight yellow-orange pants, and white helmets with cheetahs on them.

"We were so close!" Shawn exclaimed angrily "We woulda been rid of Fuller and the game woulda been ours!"

"Well, you know we can't win so long as they got him!" said Hawkins "We better forfeit!"

"Fuck that!" yelled Shawn "We're winnin' this shit even if we have to beat Fuller to a freakin' pulp!"

Shawn then picked up a briefcase that was previously off-screen before he opened it up and revealed two spray-cans of Cynyen! Shawn and Hawkins grabbed one and began shaking them up at a cartoonish velocity.

"All right!" said Shawn as he stopped "One big one! For Lemon Brooke!"

"For Lemon Brooke!" repeated Hawkins.

Both Shawn and Hawkins threw their respective Cynyen cans on the ground before they exploded and unleashed a massive cloud of green gas! The boys then took one big whiff and just then, their respective eyes glowed yellow before the gas covered their faces.

* * *

At the stadium's parking lot, Ed (who was driving), Eddy (who rode shotgun), Edd, and Cody had just now pulled up in Otto's SUV. Ed put the car in park before all four boys jumped out of the car and closed their respective doors behind them. Eddy looked over at the stadium and much to his horror, saw that it was already half-full and that they were gone longer than they expected!

"We have less time than I thought!" said Eddy "You two! Get that thing and that peach ready! Ed, let's go!"

Eddy and Ed ran onto the field and towards the VC's lounge at normal speed. As they ran, eight Lemon Brooke cheerleaders could be seen practicing their cheers. Their outfits were just like the Wootton cheerleaders, but were yellow-orange. The screen cut to the inside of the lounge before Eddy kicked it open from the outside and saw that all of the players were now in their uniforms, which consisted of black jerseys, white tight pants, and white helmets with wolverines on them. The players, the cheerleaders, and the concession stand operators were still inside.

"Bro, where you been?" asked Kevin.

"And why aren't you dressed?" asked Nazz.

"No time to explain, now!" said Eddy "Just hear me out! What happened earlier might happen again tonight! But more than likely twice as worse! So, keep yer eyes open on the field! I'll be watchin' ya on the sidelines!"

"Wait, yer not playin'?!" asked Nate.

"Can't!" said Eddy "As Vice Coach, I'm responsible for you guys! I need to watch you from a distance so I can coordinate a strategy that'll get you guys to safety!"

"So, whose gonna replace you as the first runnerback?" asked Twan.

"I could do it!" said Jimmy "Believe me, I'm a fast runner! Sarah, you can run the stand by yerself right?"

"Why not?!" said Sarah "I do the dishes by myself!"

"All right! Get into my uniform real quick and don't worry if it can't fit you!" said Eddy "Ed, you need to get dressed, too! So, you go with him! The rest of you get ready! WOLVERINES!"

"WOLVERINES!!" the others repeated in unison.

The screen cut to the inside of the booth, where Cody and Edd were seen putting the emitter down on the ground.

"It's time!" said Edd "Cody!"

"Right!" Cody said as he sat down and grabbed a microphone before he turned it on. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THANK YOU FOR YER PATIENCE AND FOR TAKIN' THE TIME TO SEE OUR FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON! FIRST, GIVE IT UP TO THE HOME TEAM, OUR VERY OWN: WOOTTON WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!"

As the crowed roared, the wolverines and the cheerleaders busted out of the VC's room and ran onto the field. Jimmy and Ed then ran out of the boys' locker room with the latter putting on his helmet. The eight cheerleaders began cheering while the players made weird noises of battle.

"AND NOW, THE CHALLENGERS!!!" Cody started "ALL THE WAY FROM LEMON BROOKE, THE GUYS WHO PUT THE "B" IN "BLOODSHED": THE CHIEN CHEETAHS!"

The crowd booed spitefully. The wolverines respectively cracked their knuckles and pounded their fists together in prep. But they stopped once they saw that there was no sign of their rivals.

"Hey, what gives?" Kevin said.

"Where the heck are they?" someone asked in the crowd.

The people in the crowd as well as the kids on the field were flabbergasted at the fact that their challengers were a no-show!

"What's going on here?!" yelled Braddock.

"I don't-" Eddy started.

Eddy failed to finish his sentence when suddenly, the right side of the stadium was almost completely destroyed when Shawn and Hawkins (now mutated and looking a lot like Douglass) busted through; which knocked down many bystanders!

"HOLY-" the bug-eyed Eddy said as the screen zoomed in on him before it switched to the cheerleaders.

"There's two of them!" said Nazz before the screen shifted to the players.

"Is that…" started Jonny.

"Mckellan and Hawkins?!" said Kevin before the screen shifted to said mutants.

"LET'S SEE YA LUCK YER WAY OUTTA THIS, FULLER!" roared Shawn.

"ED, GET OUTTA THERE!!!!!" yelled Eddy.

As soon as Eddy yelled, Shawn and Hawkins jumped up into the air and swiftly descended towards the wolverines and the cheerleaders!

"RUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Nate.

The kids scattered in different directions only seconds before both mutated players landed on the ground and made it quake. This prompted all of the bystanders to evacuate the stadium while running and screaming in panic! Inside the booth…

"Oh my…" started Edd.

"D, help me with this thing!" yelled Cody as he lifted one end of the emitter.

Edd walked over to Cody before the screen shifted to the field once more. The cheerleaders and a few players were running inside of the VC's lounge, while Ed took on both Shawn and Hawkins!

"Kevin! Nate! Get back out here!" ordered Eddy "We gotta help 'im!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" asked Kevin.

"WE NEED TO STALL 'EM LONG ENOUGH FOR CODY AND DOUBLE D TO CURE 'EM!" yelled Eddy "NOW, GET YER ASSES OUT HERE!"

Nate and the unwilling Kevin followed Eddy into battle against the mutants. Shawn picked Ed up by his eyebrow and laughed evilly, but Ed swung back cartoon style and double-kicked him down before he landed on his feet. Hawkins came from behind Ed and swung at him with his left, but Ed ducked, and punched him in the stomach before he knee-kicked him in the face, which caused him to jump backwards. Shawn then swung his arm at Ed while his back was turned, but Ed saw this, grabbed Shawn's arm, picked him up, and threw him at the oncoming Hawkins. Cody and Edd then ran onto the field with the emitter in their respective hands just as the VC's door closed and all the kids (save for Edd, Cody, Eddy, Nate, Kevin, and Ed) were inside watching the whole thing via the window. Shawn had Ed's arms twisted around his back, while Hawkins repeatedly punched him in the stomach until Eddy (while wearing a dropped helmet) came up from behind Shawn and speared (head-butted) him in the back; which forced him to release Ed! Once freed, Ed blocked three of Hawkins' swings before Nate came from off-screen and speared him (Hawkins') in the stomach followed by an Ariel dropkick in the face by Kevin. Eddy was holding his own against Shawn, but even someone as remarkably gifted in combat as him (Eddy) could barely keep up with Shawn's mutant state! Ed then tackled Shawn to the ground before he (Ed) got back up.

"You take Mckellan!" Eddy said to Ed "We'll deal with Hawkins!"

Ed nodded just before the screen shifted to Cody and Edd, who had just now placed the emitter right in the middle of the field.

"All right, where's the peach?" asked Cody.

Edd went into his left pocket and pulled out Cody's Sugarpeach before the latter went into his right pocket and pulled out a portable blender. Edd snapped the peach off of its root before he put it inside of Cody's blender. Cody looked at his peach in sadness before he hit the blend button and liquefied his precious prize. Edd then opened the glass door, but before Cody could open the lid, Nate was thrown into the cousins! But fortunately, the blender twirled around in the air cartoon style before it landed on the ground unscathed! As a result of being thrown, Nate bounced on his back and stomach before he landed in front of the VC's door. Next, Hawkins threw Kevin at Eddy. And although Eddy was able to catch him, he quickly realized that it was a distraction as Hawkins jumped up into the air and descended right in front of Nate, much to Brooke and Twan's horror!

"READY FOR THE FIRST DOWN, BENNETT?!!" Hawkins roared drew his left arm back.

"NOO!" Brooke yelled as she made a run for the door, but is ultimately subdued by Holly and Maggie. Twan on the other hand, was free as a bird and ran for the door himself.

"Twan, where are you going?!" Caitlin asked.

Ignoring her, Twan ran out the front door and just before Hawkins could deliver a powerful impact to Nate, Twan jumped in the way in slow-motion before he ended up knocked aside by Hawkins! Twan was then sent flying all the way to the concession stand before he crashed right through the popcorn machine.

"TWAN!!!" Nate yelled before he angrily looked at Hawkins.

"I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT HIM!" said Hawkins "THE WORST HE'LL GET IS A BROKEN-AAAH!"

Hawkins' gloats were cut short when Ed suddenly jumped onto his back, wrapped his arms around his huge vein-exposed neck, and put him into a sleeper hold!

"You can't keep an Ed down, bitch!" Ed yelled angrily.

As Hawkins began to run out of air, he fell to his knees seconds before Ed grabbed the back of his shirt and tossed him off-screen. Ed then cupped his hands together and jumped off-screen before Hawkins screamed in pain on impact. Seconds later, Brooke ran out of the VC's room before she fell on her knees and wrapped her arms around Nate's head in relieved concern.

"You okay?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah." Nate said in surprise.

Back on the field, Eddy and Kevin had Shawn pinned right next to the Knight cousins and their emitter. Using his legs, Eddy had him in a headlock as he (Eddy) twisted his (Shawn's) arms back while Kevin was sitting on him (Shawn) as he (Kevin) bent his left leg back!

"YO, SOCKHEAD AND DAVINCI!" Eddy yelled to Edd and Cody "WE CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL NIGHT! BUT YER WELCOME TO JUMP IN ANYTIME YA WANT!"

"BUT MAKE IT FAST, DUDES!" yelled Kevin "I GOT A DINNER WAITIN' FOR ME WHEN THIS SCENE'S OVER!"

Having recovered, Edd opened the glass door and poured every last drop of Sugarpeach juice into it before he closed it. Next, Cody literally banged on the big black button before the emitter began to transform.

"ED!" yelled Cody "CAN YA BRING THAT DOUCHE A LITTLE CLOSER?!!"

"SURE THING!" yelled Ed as he held onto Hawkins' leg.

Hawkins attempted to crawl away, having finally realized that he couldn't beat Ed alone; juiced up or otherwise. But Ed wouldn't let him go that easily! He then slammed Hawkins onto the ground before he bounced back up and landed feet first. Ed quickly grabbed both of Hawkins' arms before...

"Don't ever mess with the ED!" Ed said before he kicked Hawkins' in the stomach and sent him flying over to the emitter.

The moment Hawkins hit the ground, the emitter unleashed a large amount of white vapor in an explosive fashion, which covered everyone that was on the field. Right after, Eddy and Kevin hopped off of Shawn before the latter started coughing, grunting, and groaning! Ed walked over to Cody, Edd, and Hawkins and saw the latter doing the same thing. Just then, Hawkins' skin pigmentation and physical structure began to revert back to normal while Ed smiled at Hawkins victoriously.

"It's working!" said Edd victoriously.

"Course it is!" said Cody "We made the thing! Now, shut it off!"

Edd pressed the black button one more time before the emitter ceased vapor production. As the white mist began to fade, the screen faded to black. The next morning, all of the teens were at the Sugar bar (**Breaking up is hard to Ed**). Eddy, Kevin, Nate, Edd, and Twan (who had a white cast on his left arm) sat at the bar table, Nazz, Holly, Brooke, and Maggie sat together at one table, Jonny, Sarah, Jimmy, and Cody sat at one, while all the other cheerleaders appeared to be absent. Kevin was reading a newspaper that talked about last night's incident.

"Hey, listen to this guys!" Kevin said _"Lemon Brooke football players detained for possession of outlawed drugs! In addition, the Wootton Wolverines' opening game has been postponed and the Chien Cheetahs have been listed officially as the most disgraced high school football team in history!" _

"Now, that's a happy endin'!" said Eddy before he sipped his cola and gave Kevin some dap.

"Hey, has anybody seen Ed?" Jonny asked, "He's the hero in all this!"

"Oh yeah!" said Eddy "Turns out that the whole incident last night was on the news and Ed's parents just so happened to have saw the whole thing! They were so proud of him that his mom took him car shoppin' today! Best of all, this city's payin' for it! So, yer dad won't be gettin' a paycheck this time, boys!"

"Whatever!" Nate and Twan said in unison.

"But you, Kevin, Nate, Cody, and Double D helped, too!" said Nazz.

"Yeah, how come all of you didn't get credit?" asked Maggie.

"They offered it to us, but we gave it all to the Lump because he was the real champ/victim!" said Eddy.

At Cody's table, Jimmy elbowed Sarah before she looked at him. Jimmy looked at Sarah with a serious face and his left eyebrow up. Sarah immediately knew what Jimmy meant and sadly looked at Edd.

"Double D, could I talk to you outside?" asked Sarah.

"Absolutely, sweetie!" said Edd.

Edd got off of his stool and grabbed Sarah's hand before they both walked towards the door. Eddy watched them walk out the door with a saddened look on his face: knowing what will now happen despite the prior events. Outside…

"Double D…there is no easy way to say this, but…" started Sarah "…since the day you told me that you…loved me…I felt as if you and I…can no longer be."

Edd then developed a saddened facial expression before…

"Are you…telling me that…" Edd started sadly.

"I'm sorry. And that's not all…" Sarah said as she emitted a tear in her left eye "I…thought you were everything I wanted. But now I see…that you and I… were never meant to be. I emotionally and physically tried to convince myself that you were the one…but now… my heart is telling me…that you were only…a phase."

Edd looked as if he was about to cry, but he barely suppressed it. However, one tear escaped as he smiled.

"Well…at least you displayed enough remarkable courage to vocally express your heart's feelings!" Edd said emotionally "And aside from that…my current hope is that we can remain…friends!"

Sarah pulled Edd's head down to her head's level and kissed him on the cheek. The two then walked back into the Sugar bar and sadly sat back in their respective seats. Sarah then gave Jimmy a tight, emotional hug before he hugged her back. At the bar table…

"You okay?" Eddy asked his friend subtly.

"I- do not know at the moment, Eddy!" Edd said sadly.

"Well, until you do, you can bet yer ass that I'll be there for ya!" Eddy said.

"Thank you, Eddy!" said Edd.

Both Eds hopped off of the stool and gave each other a high five and a manly hug before the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 3**

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* * *

****Sorry about the break-up part, Edd fans. But that's part of being a teenager and this **_**is **_**a teen-oriented series! Plus, whether you noticed it or not, I have completed the first of many episodes that focus primarily on an Ed (How to Catch an Ed=Eddy, Breaking up is hard to Ed=Edd, Get your Ed in the Game=Ed)! Next episode is Nazz's, so all you blonde fans gear up! **

**

* * *

****Also- Cody saying that Jonny went "Gourd-o Crazy" does indeed indicate that I will be making a prequel to this series after the first season is completed!**

**

* * *

****Title Reference: Get your head in the Game **


	7. What an Ed wants pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **Growing up, I couldn't help but notice that Nazz never really had a primary role in any EEnE episode (except for "Boys will be Eds"). So, I decided to create this one, which doesn't focus _only _on her, but _mostly _on her. So anyway, read, review, and enjoy!

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* * *

****EPISODE 4: WHAT AN ED WANTS**

* * *

The screen opened up in front of J. Wootton High School, where the event board read "This Saturday: The Ms. Wootton Pageant: Don't Miss!". The screen cut to the inside of "Mr. Abrams' Video Production class", where the titular teacher and his assistant were seen standing in front of their students in a large room that had a blue screen and about seven cameras in the corner. There was also a door that led to the hallway and another door that led to the classroom. The class consisted of Ed, Kevin, Nate, Nazz, Jonny, Holly, Brooke, Twan, a smiling Eddy, and six other students; including Ashley (a cheerleader from the previous episode). Mr. Abrams was a Caucasian man in his early forties, who stood 5'11, had combed black hair, and wore a short-sleeve white T-shirt that read "I heart Cinema" in black and red letters, black jeans, and white addidas sneakers. His assistant was a Caucasian man in his early to mid thirties, who stood 6'0, had combed blonde hair, and was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, blue jeans, and black boots. He was also wearing an ID tag that read "Mr. Nolan".

"Okay, let's get started!" said Abrams. "Your assignment is to do a video based on some type of media and spawned out of your own creativity! And it doesn't have to be perfect, like I know my best student, Eddy's will be!"

Eddy raised his left eyebrow and smiled while the other kids looked at him and smiled.

"But I expect it to be no more than three minutes!" continued Abrams. "Because I want to be able to see everyone's work in one period so that we could have a good old-fashioned video-fest!"

The teens cheered while Nate and Twan gave each other a high-five.

"Quiet!" Abrams said gently. "Remember, there can be no more than four in a group and you are _not_ allowed to put classmates in your video! This assignment is in-class, which means there should be no excuse for you not to have it done in one week! Understood?"

"YOU GOT IT MR. A!" the other kids said in unison.

"All right!" said Abrams. "Now pick your teams, grab a camera, and get to work!"

"All right, who wants to work with me?!" Eddy asked as he jumped in front of the group.

All of the kids excitedly said to Eddy "ME! ME! ME! EDDY! ME!".

"I pick…" Eddy started as he raised his finger. "Ed, Nate, and Twan!"

"YEAH!" Ed, Nate, and Twan said as the other kids disappointedly went "AWWW! MAN!!".

"Everybody loves a guy with great ideas, huh kid?" Nolan said to Eddy as he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Gift and a curse!" Eddy replied as he smiled. "All right boys! Showtime!"

Eddy's group and the other kids walked over to the cameras in the back. Eddy grabbed one, Kevin grabbed one, and Holly grabbed one before the kids (save for Eddy's group) walked towards the door leading to the hallway, while Nolan walked through the door leading to the classroom.

"Why don't we do something about the Ms. Wootton pageant, guys?!" asked Ashley as she, Jonny, and Kevin walked out the door leading to the hallway.

"You read my mind!" Kevin said. "Sound good, Jonny?"

"As long as I get screen time, I don't give a shit!" Jonny said off-screen.

"What do you wanna do, Nazz?" Holly asked.

Nazz opened her mouth, but before she could speak…

"_MR. ABRAMS!!" _Hector (the principal who debuted in **Breaking up is hard to Ed**) said via the intercom.

"YES?!" Abrams responded.

"_COULD YOU SEND NASINA VAN BARTONSCHMEER TO MY OFFICE, PLEASE?" _Hector asked.

"SHE'LL BE RIGHT UP!" said Abrams as he walked through the classroom door and closed it behind him.

"_THANK YOU!" _said Hector.

"Good girl's gone bad!" Brooke joked as she smiled.

"Wow!" said Nazz. "You've certainly been happy the last few days!"

While still smiling, Brooke looked over at Nate, who was talking to his group members about their assignment. The girls then walked out into the hallway, leaving only Eddy's group.

"So, it's settled!" said Eddy. "We'll do an interview about teens and clubs! Twan and Nate will be our interviewers and Ed can just be an additional extra who dances with a chick!"

"You know I can't dance, Eddy!" said Ed.

"Remind me to help you fix that before the Junior/Senior prom!" said Eddy. "But today, we'll just have the girl grind on you!"

"What about you?" asked Twan. "Yer just gonna be the behind-the-camera guy? Lotta girls may not wanna do this unless yer visible!"

"Somebody's gotta tell you guys what to do!" said Eddy. "Besides, the director gets just as much attention as the on-screen guys if they know who he is! Now, you guys have access to the needed wardrobe, right?"

"Yep!" said Nate. "They got all kinds of junk in the drama department's costume room!"

"Then you go get the clothes!" said Eddy. "Ed, you and Twan stay here and make this place nightclub worthy! I'm goin' talent scoutin'!" he said with a grin and his left eyebrow up

* * *

In the front office, Nazz had just now opened Hector's door before she stepped in and closed it behind her.

"What's up, Principal Caird?" Nazz greeted as she sat down.

"Well, as you know, the Ms. Wootton Pageant is tomorrow!" started Hector. "Unfortunately, Smith, Jones, and Moore had to pull out at the last minute!"

"What?!" Nazz exclaimed. "Why?"

"Personal emergencies!" said Hector. "Smith found out that there was a death in her family, Jones was in a car accident, and Moore had a mishap that involved him getting surgery on a …_ahem_…certain area!"

"Oh, that's just great!" said Nazz. "How am I supposed to find two judges and a host before tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid this is a decision you must make on your own." Said Hector.

"But-" started Nazz.

"Ms. Van Bartonschmeer." Interrupted Hector. "Do you or do you not…want admission to "The Art Institute of Kubat"?"

Nazz put her hands together in a balled-up fashion before…

"Yes!" said Nazz. "More than anything, I wanna go there!" she said before she put her arms on Hector's desk and buried her face in them.

"Then you are going to have to sleep in the bed you made if you want a recommendation from those three young men!" said Hector. "Understand?"

With her face still buried, Nazz nodded in agreement.

"Thata girl!" said Hector as he stood up. "Now, let's get you back to class!"

* * *

The screen shifted to a hallway that had two visible doors. The door on the right read "Costume Department", while the one on the left read "Mrs. Wilson's Culinary Arts class". The costume dept.'s door cracked open before Nate stuck his head out and looked in both directions to see if anyone was watching. He then opened the door all the way and emerged from the room with a gray duffel bag on his right shoulder. He smiled deviously as he gently closed the door and jogged to the left until he was off-screen. The screen slowly zoomed in on Wilson's door before it shifted to the inside, where many students were seen at various tables. Each group smiled as they worked on their food. At one table, Edd, Maggie, and Cody were waiting for their dish to finish cooking in the oven. On top of the oven was a timer that was about to go "ding" in…3…2…DING!

"Finally!" Cody said before he grabbed the glove, opened the door, and pulled out a pan of what appeared to be brownies. "Maggie, care to do the honors?" he asked before he put the pan on the stove.

"Be glad to!" Maggie said as she held up a thick kitchen knife. Maggie gently began cutting the brownies while Edd watched with a sad look on his face. As she continued to cut, Maggie caught wind of Edd's facial expression before she stopped cutting. "Double D, are you okay?" Maggie asked in concern. "Double D?" she repeated as she snapped her fingers in front of Edd's face. But the young genius didn't blink nor did he speak.

"_It's the brownies."_ Cody whispered into Maggie's left ear. _"They remind him of Sarah!" _

"_Has he been like this since the day she broke up with him?" _Maggie asked in a whispered voice.

"_Yeah!" _whispered Cody. _"I've been tryin' to get him to stop thinkin' 'bout her, but I haven't had any luck! He even stopped helpin' me repair my Cruiser!" _

"_Well, that's the problem!" _Maggie whispered before she turned around.

"_What?!" _Cody said sternly.

"_A girl that he cared about broke his heart!" _started Maggie. _"So, only a girl who cares about him just as well…can repair it!" _

Cody looked down in confusion before he looked back at Maggie.

"_That doesn't make sense!" _Cody said.

"_I'm a girl!" _started Maggie. _"It's not supposed to!"_

Maggie then put her hand on Edd's right shoulder before he looked at her.

"Listen, Double D." Maggie started. "I'm really very sorry about you and Sarah, but I hate seeing you like this! So, want to or not…yer comin' to the Ms. Wootton pageant tomorrow night! Why? Because seein' me- I mean other girls will get your mind off of her! And Cody will make sure you go, right?"

"Yeah! Sure! Whatever!" Cody said as he grabbed a cut brownie and took a bite.

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of Mr. Abrams' blue-screen room, which now looked like a nightclub: complete with two strip-poles, four eating booths (two on each far side of the room), a large, gray-painted rectangular crate that serves as a makeshift stage, and lots of room for dancing! Twan and Ed were standing in the middle of the room with proud looks on their respective faces before Nate walked in and developed an amazed smile!

"Bad…ASS!" exclaimed Nate. "How the hell were you guys able to recreate this place in less than a few minutes?"

"I'd tell ya," said Ed. "but the director and the producers say that you can only go so far with breakin' the 4th wall!"

"Hey, guys!" Eddy said as he stuck his head through the door leading to the hallway. "Look, what I found!"

Eddy walked into the room and opened the door all the way before a whole bunch of teens, male and female, could be seen standing in the hallway while talking excitedly at once. Eddy went into his left pocket before…

"Ladies, go 'head inside!" Eddy said before many girls began to run into the room. "Dudes, cough up a green Washington!" he said as he pulled out his lid-less money jar.

One by one, each boy willingly put $1.00 into Eddy's jar before they walked in excitedly.

"Come on, Twan!" said Nate "We gotta change! Quick!"

Nate and Twan walked through the door leading to the classroom before they closed it behind them.

* * *

In a hallway, Hector and Nazz were talking as they walked.

"You know, I'm kind of sad that you didn't want to enter the Pageant this year!" said Hector.

"One victory is enough sir!" said Nazz. "We want ladies to take pride in themselves, not be crushed by other girls'."

"Still, it feels like only last year that I saw you walk away with those roses and that crown!" said Hector. "Now, you're orchestrating a Pageant yourself!"

"That _was_ last year!" said Nazz.

"Oh! Silly me!" Hector said before he and Nazz said before they made a turn down another hallway. As the two walked down the hallway, they heard the song **Party like a Rock Star **blaring. Hector developed an angry frown while Nazz covered her ears in annoyance. Hector slowly opened the door and flinched as he heard the music blaring louder and louder. When he got the door open, he looked into the room in horror while Nazz looked into the room in excitement! The room was now dark, had flashing lights of pink, green, and blue color, and the girls (most of which having only panties and white, tied-up T-shirts on) were either making out with guys on the tables, bumping and grinding on the "dance floor"! Ed was seen on a strip pole and was being grinded on by Monique (cheerleader from the previous episode)! Twan (who was now wearing a black cap with the golden letters "PC" (Peach Creek) on the tip, a white T-shirt, and his black hoodie) was interviewing Caitlin (another cheerleader from the previous), who had the bottom of her T-shirt tied into a knot and appeared be wearing tight blue daisy-dukes. Twan had a microphone in his left hand.

"Tell us yer name!" said Twan.

"Caitlin!" Caitlin said into the camera.

"Are you a party girl?" asked Twan.

"Am I a party girl?!" Caitlin repeated before she grabbed Twan's face and gave him a long kiss on the lips!

"Ho! Ho!" Eddy exclaimed as he stood behind the camera. "Looks like we got some chemistry goin' on here! That's a bonus!"

When Caitlin released Twan's face, he had red lipstick on his lips! He stared at her in surprise before…

"Oh, yeah!" said Twan. "Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! What do you say to that, Nate?!"

Eddy moved the camera to the left before we see a gorgeous Latino girl (who was wearing only a partially buttoned shirt and black daisy dukes) grinding on Nate (who was wearing the same thing Twan was)!

"Can't talk now, Twan!" Nate yelled. "WHOO!"

"Man, am I a great director or what?" said Eddy. "I should get a freakin' MTV award for this!"

"HOW ABOUT AN INVITATION TO MY OFFICE, GATES?!!!" the read-faced Hector said as he walked towards Eddy.

"Oh, shit!" Eddy said softly before he gulped and the screen faded to black.

The screen reopened in Hector's office, where Eddy, Ed, Nate, and Twan were seen sitting right in front of his desk, while Nazz stood against a wall and looked at the boys with a smirk of amusement. Ironically, Hector himself wasn't in the room.

"I'll never understand why this guy likes me so much!" Eddy said with a nonchalant smile.

"You get on the guy's nerves every chance you get, dude!" Nazz said. "And you've been doin' it since we were freshmen!"

"That's his ex-wife's job!" said Eddy as he continued to smile. "Why do ya think she spends a second givin' us a swimming assignment and leaves for 30 minutes?" he said before he put his feet on the desk and leaned back in the chair. "I swear, every time she leaves his office, I see 'im squeezin' his stress-relievin' toy!"

The door slammed open EEnE-style before the now-calm Hector came in and slammed the door behind him. He then walked over to his desk and sat down as he glared at the four young…

"Delinquents!" Hector greeted.

"What's up, Prince?" Eddy said with a smirk.

"What's goin' on, C-man?!" Nate greeted.

"Cut the crap!" said Hector. "You know damn well why you're in here!"

"We were doing an assignment given to us by Mr. Abrams!" said Ed. "He didn't say _how _he wanted it done, he just said to get it done!"

"That doesn't justify the insensitive crime that you've just committed!" growled Hector.

"Insensitive Crime?" Twan repeated in confusion. "Against who?"

"Young… women!" said Hector before he stood up, turned around, and looked out his window. "Whether you care or not, this week's primary focus is on the young women of the school! It's about proving that unlike the ones in the outside world, the young women of J. Wootton high school have an actual goal and bright future ahead of them! And not the disgusting, vulgar-related trash that the brainwashing media emits!"

"Question!" the smiling Eddy said as he held his finger up. "Is there a "have to do with us" point comin' up soon?"

Hector angrily turned around and banged both fists on his desk. Eddy, however, wasn't at all intimidated.

"Let me fill you in on some things about the real world, Prince!" started Eddy. "A lot of those half-dressed girls that you saw bumpin' and grindin' not too long ago, are AB students who like to let loose every once in a while! And we…granted them that opportunity because we care about them and it benefited us! And according to the way you were just barking at me just now, let me know that you think that I somehow manipulated them into doin' what they were doin'! Take Nazz over there for example! She's a real party girl! You'd expect that from any gorgeous popular blonde chick! But that doesn't mean that she isn't studious! Look at her! Honor roll! A beloved star student! On her way to The Art Institute of Kubat to pursue her dreams of heading her own fashion company in 1 year!"

Nazz looked at Eddy in surprise. He had never really said anything _that _nice about her.

"So! Technically!" said Eddy. "I know more about women… than you ever did!"

Hector closed his eyes and turned red with anger once more! Right when it looked like he was about to explode, he suddenly calmed down and smiled deviously before his skin pigmentation returned to normal.

"Well, then!" said Hector as he smiled evilly. "Since you care so much and know so much about women, I'm gonna give you and your fellow rebels here a choice!"

"Pick yer poison!" Ed said slyly as he rubbed his eyebrow suavely.

"You gotta stay off those movies, dude!" said Twan.

"You four criminals can either spend a week and a half in detention…" started Hector. "or…you can volunteer to work on the Ms. Wootton Pageant tomorrow!"

The boys suddenly went bug-eyed in disappointment and disgust!

"Are you shittin' me?!" Nate asked. "Who the hell would wanna see a school-based pageant?! Much less work on one?!"

"Yeah, man!" said Ed. "School-based pageants are too clean and boring! And the girls'll feel like they aren't gorgeous cuz they aren't showin' enough of themselves!"

"And plus…some of the girls have dads who blackmail or bribe the judges and the hosts!" added Eddy. "Last time that happened, that dude went to rehab and _never_ came back!"

"No way in hell am I doin' this!" said Twan. "I'm takin' the detention!"

"Me too!" Eddy, Ed, and Nate said in unison.

"Not so fast!" Hector said to Ed, Eddy, and Nate. "You think I don't keep close tabs with you three? Every time someone gives you a detention, you somehow manage to turn it into something enjoyable!"

"Point bein'?" Eddy said.

"You're not getting a detention!" said Hector. "Since you seem pushy about being involved in a school-based pageant, I've have just thought of the perfect punishment for you three!"

"You…wouldn't!" Eddy bitterly snapped as he took his feet off of the desk.

"Oh, I think I would…and _will_!" Hector evilly said. "Antwan will receive the detention!"

"Hell, yeah!" yelled Twan.

"His boneheaded brother and Fuller here will serve as the judges alongside Ms. Van Bartonschmeer here!" continued Hector.

The moment Hector finished his sentence, Nate and Ed angrily protested at once.

"And as for you, Mr. director…" Hector said as he looked at Eddy, who glared at him. "You're going to do an extra _special _job!"

"THE HELL I AM!" Eddy snapped.

"You are going to fulfill the duties of…THE HOST!" Hector said.

"BULLSHIT!!!" Eddy yelled as he banged his fists on the table.

"And…if you refuse to do exactly what Ms. Van Bartonschmeer decrees… and if you pull any of your hare-brained tactics…you and your circus clowns here have a month of ISS!" Hector finished.

"GOD DAMN!" Nate angrily exclaimed.

"FUCK THAT!" said Ed.

"AWW, THIS SUCKS MONKEYBALLS!" yelled Eddy before he turned around, opened the door, walked out, and slammed the door behind him. The screen cut to the parking lot, where Ed, Eddy, and Nate were seen leaning on a brand new blue Infiniti sedan, which Twan was seen sitting in the back of. In front of them was Nazz, who had some packets in her hands and was leaning on a new-looking purple Nissan Altima.

"Okay, guys! Here's the script that you need to follow!" started Nazz as she handed one to each boy. "Ed! Nate! All you guys have to do is act like you're the ultimate critical judges! Even though somethin' might look good, crush their spirits a little! But no language!"

"So, ya want us to go "Simon Cowell" on 'em?" asked Nate

"Basically!" said Nazz. "Eddy, I need you to be the _best _host you can be! Okay? In order for me to get that recommendation, I need to convince those students that I have chosen the best of the best for the Pageant! Also, I don't wanna see you get in trouble!"

"Please!" Eddy scoffed with a smile. "You have any idea how many times he's punished me before I went back to doin' stuff twice as worse…for him?! I could break any hold he has on me…regardless of what it is! But this time…I'm not!"

"And why is that?" asked Nazz.

"Wasn't till I just now found out that you needed a recommendation for that college did I change my mind!" said Eddy. "Girls with dreams always get my attention!" he continued as he walked over to the other side of the sedan. "And who knows! Even if we don't end up in the same class, we could still do some fun stuff if yer not too…_mature_!" he joked before he opened the shotgun door, got in, and closed the door.

Ed opened the driver's door and got into the sedan, while Nate got into the back seat with his brother. Ed then started his car up before he threw it in reverse and drove off-screen. Nazz continued to stare at Ed's vehicle as she thought about Eddy. The screen slowly transitioned to the streets of Peach Creek Estates just outside of Nazz's house. Nazz appeared in her purple Nissan Altima before she drove up her driveway as her garage opened. The screen then shifted to the inside of Nazz's kitchen, which now had a flatscreen HDTV on the counter in front of the family table. Nazz herself was seen sitting at the family table doing her Chemistry homework until her mother walked in. Nazz's mother strongly resembled her daughter, with the only difference being that she (Mom) has long black hair that was combed into a bun. She had a rather svelte physique and wore a white dress shirt with a long-sleeve black jacket, a black skirt, and black heels.

"Hey, mom!" Nazz greeted as she continued to work.

"Hey, yourself." Said Nazz's mom. "You excited about tomorrow?"

"I'm something about tomorrow!" replied Nazz.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll do excellent!" said Nazz's mom. "After all, Van Bartonschmeers never settle for anything less than what they want!"

"Wow! The old Van Bartonschmeer motto never fails to come up during conversations!" joked Nazz.

Nazz's mom looked at her daughter's face and saw that she was blushing a little!

"Are you blushing?" Nazz's mom asked with a smile.

"No!" Nazz lied as she turned her head in the other direction and smiled.

"Nasina Alexandra Van Bartonschmeer!" Nazz's mom started with a smile. "Is there someone you'd like to tell me about?"

"Uh…" started Nazz. "What's that, dad?"

"Bradley didn't call you!" Nazz's mom said as she continued to smile.

"But he called you!" Nazz said.

"No, he didn't!" Nazz's mom replied.

"RACHEL!" Nazz's dad (Bradley) yelled out to his wife (Rachel) while off-screen.

"Ugh!" Rachel groaned.

The screen shifted to the inside of the bathroom, where Bradley was seen with a black comb in his hand. Bradley stood 6'0, was somewhat muscular, had suave blonde hair, and was wearing a gray suit with a white/black tie and black dress shoes. Rachel walked into the bathroom and saw him looking quite angry.

"What is it now, Bradley?" Rachel asked.

Bradley's only response was he holding up a blue bra that was Rachel's size!

"You know how I am about you leaving your underclothes all over the bathroom, Rachel!" Bradley said. "I mean, what if we have company for god's sake!"

"Please!" said Rachel. "The only time when we have company is when Nasina has her weekly Friday night slumber parties! Besides, are you sure _that's_ the problem."

Bradley uttered a heavy sigh before he held his forehead.

"I guess I'm just a little rattled about tonight!" said Bradley. "Guess that's a price for being the District Attorney, huh?"

"Being a Nutritionist, I wouldn't know!" Rachel said as she fixed Bradley's tie. Back in the kitchen, Nazz had just now closed her chemistry book before Bradley walked in.

"Okay princess, remember!" Bradley said to Nazz. "If yer gonna have a slumber party, NO boys! I'm serious! I'll get a huntin' dog, find out where he lives, and make him crap his pants!"

"Daddy!" Nazz sternly said with a smile.

"Just kiddin', honey!" Bradley said before he kissed Nazz on the forehead. "But seriously, no boys!"

Just then, a car horn honked outside.

"That's my exit!" said Bradley. "Have a good evening! Love you!"

"Love you, too!" said Nazz.

The next sound that could be heard was a door opening and closing. After three seconds, a car could be heard backing out of the driveway before Nazz developed a smile on her face. She then stood up and walked off-screen before it shifted to the inside of Nazz's room, where a poster of actor "Chris Pine" could be seen on her door. Just then, Nazz's door slammed open EEnE-style before Nazz herself walked into the room, which looked relatively different. She now had a huge widescreen High-Definition TV, a 5-row shelf with DVDs, a larger dresser with an even larger mirror with light bulbs around its edges, a computer, a poster of a shirtless Brad Pitt on her closet door, and a poster of Shia Labeouf in swimming trunks over her Queen-sized bed, which Holly, Maggie, and Brooke were sitting on. The girls were grinning at Nazz and each had black suitcases.

"They're gone?" Brooke asked with a smile.

"Oh yeah!" Nazz replied as she closed the door behind her. "Let's get started!"

* * *

The screen then shifted to the nocturnal streets of Peach Creek Estates, where Ed's Infiniti sedan had just now pulled up in front of a white two-story house with two tall shrubs right in front and a black mailbox that read "Caird". Inside the car was driver Ed, shotgun Eddy, and backseat passengers Nate and the still-depressed Edd.

"Enlighten me again, Eddy!" said Edd. "Why are we at the residence of our Principal at 8:22 p.m.?"

"Cuz my sockheaded buddy, certain people need to learn that if you fuck with Eddy Gates, _you_ get fucked!" Eddy said with a devious smile.

"Care to explain why you decided to have me accompany you…_again_?" asked Edd as he folded his arms.

"Cuz, Cody said he needed help tryin' to help ya get yer mind off of…that chick!" said Eddy. "And what better way than to hang around with yer boys? Oh and by the way, ya do know that yer comin' with us to that Pageant tomorrow, right?"

"That has been established several scenes ago, Eddy!" said Edd.

"Let's do this already!" Nate said excitedly.

"You heard 'im, boys! Let's get crackin'!" said Eddy before the screen cut to black.

The screen reopened when Ed opened his car's trunk with Eddy, Edd, and Nate standing behind him. Inside the trunk were three bazooka-sized paintball guns and three rubbery skull masks (a lot like the one in **How to Catch an Ed**). Ed and Nate grabbed a mask and put them on while Eddy went into his left pocket.

"This is gonna be badass!" Nate said as he grabbed a paintball gun.

"Here!" Eddy said as he handed Edd his (Eddy's) silver camcorder. "Youtube!"

Eddy grabbed the last mask and put it on before he grabbed the last gun and "cocked" it.

"Showtime!" said Eddy.

Ed closed his trunk before Ed, Eddy, and Nate ran onto Hector's lawn. Edd stayed behind and sighed before he turned on Eddy's cam. Eddy and Ed dived into one of the shrubs while Nate dove into the other. Nate then reached for the doorbell, but before he could ring it, he stopped and looked at Eddy, who nodded. Nate excitedly rang the doorbell three times before the boys went back inside of the bushes. The door slowly opened before the boys began cocking their paintball guns. Just then, Hector walked out and was wearing a blue robe.

"Do you have any id-" started Hector.

Hector failed to finish his sentence when all three boys jumped out of the bushes and began pelting the principal with huge chunks of paint! Eddy's was blue, Ed's was red, and Nate's was orange.

"TAKE THAT, DOUCHE-WAD!!" yelled Eddy in a deep voice.

Edd was watching the whole thing via the cam and was having a bit of a laugh himself! He zoomed in on the whole thing just before Eddy, Ed, and Nate started running as they continued to fire! By the time they reached Ed's car, Hector slipped on the paint that was on the ground and fell on his back; much to the boys' laughter!

"LET'S GO! LET'S GO!" yelled Nate as he opened the door to the backseat.

"GET IN! GET IN!" Eddy yelled as he opened the shotgun door and closed it behind him.

The boys didn't waste anytime getting back into the car. Once he started it up, Ed floored the vehicle down the street just as Hector ran onto the street and cursed unintelligibly as he looked at the departing vehicle! Inside the vehicle…

"Oh man! That was a rush!" said Eddy.

"Hell yeah!" Nate said as he gave Eddy some dap.

"I absolutely cannot believe that I am saying this, but that was actually a tad thrilling!" said Edd. "Oh my! I said it! And I have no idea why!"

"It's yer inner party-boy!" said Eddy. "He's finally comin' out to play!"

"And it looks like he helped you forget about my sister, too!" said Ed.

"STUPID!" yelled Eddy. "DON'T MENTION-"

Eddy ceased insulting when he looked into the rearview mirror and saw Edd looking as depressed as he was before the prank!

"AHHH, SEE WHAT YOU DID?!" Eddy yelled as Nate yelled, "FREAKIN' DUMBASS!!"

* * *

Back at Nazz's house, the girls were in Nazz's living room and were sitting on their respective knees in the middle of the floor. Each girl was wearing an open robe and a Corset (lingerie) of their own color. Nazz's was purple, Holly's was blue, Maggie's was black, and Brooke's was red.

"Okay!" said Nazz. "Let's talk about the guys at our school! I know for a fact that you girls like at least one guy at school! Popular or not!"

"Not much to discuss there, Nazz!" said Maggie. "We all know that Holly is into Big Ed and Brooke here won't stop looking at Nate!"

"Well, what about you?" asked Nazz with a smile.

"What?" Maggie said with a slight stutter.

"You heard me!" said Nazz with a smile. "A straightforward genius-level hottie like you has gotta have someone _special _in mind!"

"Yeah, Maggie!" said Holly. "Spill!"

"Not gonna happen!" Maggie said with a proud smile.

"Will you at least tell us your ideal guy?" asked Brooke. "We could probably take a wild guess afterwards anyway!"

"Oh…all right! We're all friends here, right?" said Maggie before she took a deep breath. "My ideal guy…is someone who's gentle, kind-hearted, straightforward like me, trustworthy, honest, forgiving, and of course…smart!"

"That sounds like…" started Nazz before she and the other girls (save for Maggie) developed bug eyes before…

"DOUBLE D!!!" the girls (save for Maggie) uttered in a yelled tone.

"Shhhhhhh!" shushed Maggie as she smiled and blushed.

"Oh my god!" Nazz said softly as she smiled. "Don't worry! Your secret is safe!"

"Let's hear yours, Ms. Nasina!" Brooke said with a smile.

"Isn't it obvious?!" asked Holly. "There's only one person in the world that Nazz would give her heart to!"

"Holly…" Nazz said sternly.

"Only one boy…who she refuses to give up on!" said Holly.

"Don't make me pinch you!" threatened Nazz.

"And that boy…is the only boy who ever…rejected her!" said Holly.

"I'm warming my hands up, O'Connor!" threatened Nazz.

"And his name is…" started Holly.

Nazz lunged at Holly, but Maggie and Brooke kept her into place so that they could hear Holly talk uninterrupted!

"…Edward S. Gates!" Holly said slowly.

"EDDY?!" squealed Maggie and Brooke as they released Nazz and looked at her.

"Yes…Eddy!" Nazz said as she brushed her robe off.

"Tell us what happened!" demanded the excited Maggie.

"Yeah, Nazz!" said Holly. "You might as well!!"

Nazz uttered a heavy sigh before…

"All right! It's like this…" Nazz started before the screen flashed white.

**

* * *

****Flashback: Eddy's house. Only two days after the big picture show. Eddy was in his still-retro room packing his stuff in prep for his trip to see his cousin "Michael Gates" (first mentioned in "How to Catch an Ed"). He had two other black suitcases lying on his bed. Just then, a knock came at his backdoor.**

"**What'chu got against front doors?!" Eddy asked.**

**The backdoor slid open before Nazz, now having her short hair restored, walked in. **

"**Oh hey!" Eddy said.**

"**Hey!" said Nazz as she walked towards him. "I just wanted to give you a gift before you leave to go visit your cousin!" **

**Nazz put her arms on Eddy's stubby shoulders and puckered up before Eddy did the same! Right when they were about to kiss, Eddy put his finger on her lips before…**

"**Listen Nazz…" started Eddy. "I've been thinkin'." **

"**About what?" she asked.**

"**You and I." Eddy said. "I…just realized that you and I hooked up only after the incident with my brother." **

"**So?" she said. **

"**So…don't take this the wrong way, but…I feel like you…only wanted to go out with me because you… felt sorry for me." Said Eddy. "And it just…doesn't seem fair to the other guys."**

"**So…" Nazz said as she took her arms off of Eddy. "You **_**don't **_**wanna go out with me?" **

"**No! I do!" Eddy said. "More than any girl I've ever met! And that goes ten-fold for the Kankers, but…" **

"**But…?" repeated Nazz.**

"**How 'bout this." Eddy started as he grabbed Nazz's hands. "As soon as this big picture show vibe blows over…I think it would do you a lotta good to…see other guys and…if it doesn't work out and you're still interested…then I'm…ready when you are!" **

"**You really are an awesome guy aren't you, Eddy Gates?" Nazz said softly.**

**Eddy only looked down and grinned before Nazz kissed him on the forehead. Nazz then walked towards Eddy's backdoor before she looked back at him…**

"**Y'know," started Nazz. "Even if I find someone else, it probably won't last!" **

"**Why do you say that?" Eddy asked with a smile.**

"**Because…" Nazz said, "the Van Bartonschmeers **_**never **_**settle for anything less than what they want!"**

**Nazz then happily left Eddy's room via the backdoor before she closed it behind her. Eddy then smiled knowing that she will wait for him whether she was in a relationship or not. The screen then flashed white again before it reopened in Nazz's living room in the current time.**

* * *

"Awwwwwwww!" Maggie and Brooke adoringly said in unison.

"It is so hard to find a guy with enough heart to give something he cares about up!" said Brooke.

"That's what makes him special!" said Nazz. "He only gives things up if it's for a good cause!"

Maggie went into her right robe pocket and pulled out her cell phone, which read "8:57".

"Wow!" said Maggie as she stood up. "We better head to sleep, girls! We gotta be at the school early in the morning!"

"She's right!" said Nazz as they all stood up. "Brooke, you sleep down here! Maggie, you get the guest room! Holly, you get my room and I'll be in my parents' room!"

"Won't they get mad if they see you there?" asked Holly.

"Oh, please!" Nazz said with a smile. "Both of them have jobs that take up so much time, that they spend most of the following day in a hotel or in their car! Now, sleep time!"

Nazz, Holly, and Maggie walked up the stairs while Brooke crashed on the couch. Nazz then clicked the lights off before the screen cut to black.

**

* * *

****Tribute: The Video Production teacher "Mr. Abrams" was named after and inspired by television producer/movie director "J.J. Abrams": whom is responsible for co-creating the television series "Lost" and directing the "Star Trek" reboot. His assistant "Mr. Nolan" is named after writer/director "Christopher Nolan": who directed two of my favorite movies "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight". Nazz's mom, "Rachel Van Bartonschmeer" is named after "Rachel Mcadams": an actress whose work I became a fan of after seeing "Sherlock Holmes". (Yep! I love movies enough to not just watch them or have aspirations to be involved in them!) "The Art Institute of Kubat" is named for an actual college called "The Art Institute of Atlanta" and "Mike Kubat": a staff writer of EEnE and Danny's good friend.**

**

* * *

****Special Tribute: I put posters of actors "Chris Pine", "Brad Pitt", and "Shia Labeouf" in Nazz's room for ironic reasons. **

**1. Chris Pine, best known as the new "James T. Kirk", became beloved by many girls because of that role.**

**2. I have a friend who absolutely LOVES Brad Pitt to the point where she said she would "Rape him"!**

**3. The fact that Shia Labeouf is hanging over Nazz's bed is a big deal. When I first saw "Transformers 2", I met a group of Shia-Loving girls and decided that their crush was pretty funny! Also, Shia Labeouf is my idol. Ever since I first saw his work in "Even Stevens", I immediately knew what I wanted to do for my career! **

**

* * *

****Also, I wasn't sure what season the Big Picture show took place in, so after realizing that there was no snow, falling leaves, and the fact that all of the characters were wearing their summer attire, I assumed that it took place just before Spring Break. Anyway, stay tuned for next half!**


	8. What an Ed wants pt 2

The screen reopened at J. Wootton High School, where the sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze. The screen zoomed in on the school before it cut to the inside of the cafeteria. In front of the many rows of seats, was a long table that had three chairs and a folded piece of paper that read "Judges". Nate was sitting on the far left end of the table and was leaning back in the chair. On his head was his hood, which covered his eyes as he slept. On stage, six girls (including Holly and Maggie) were wearing dresses as they either walked around or talked with one another. Nazz was leaning against the emergency fire extinguisher with her arms folded until Eddy and Ed walked up to her.

"There you are!" said Nazz. "Where were you? You know I can't start without my host and second judge!"

"Chill, Sweetheart!" Eddy said as he smiled. "I figured that since we'd be spendin' the day with you and everyone else, might as well get the drama at home outta the way!"

"Hi, Guys!" Holly said as she ran up behind Ed and grabbed his arm. Holly was wearing a blue dress, diamond earrings, and blue heels. "Mind if I borrow Big Ed for a minute? Or five?"

"Have at 'im!" said Eddy before Holly happily pulled Ed away.

Just then, Hector walked up behind both Eddy and Nazz with a black duffel bag on his left shoulder.

"What's up, Prince?" Eddy asked.

"Ms. Van Bartonschmeer, may I have a private word with Mr. Gates?" asked Hector.

"Sure." Nazz said before she walked off-screen.

Hector dropped the bag and unzipped it before he pulled out his multi-painted robe!

"Know what this is?" asked Hector as he held up his robe.

"A very messed-up robe!" Eddy answered with a nonchalant smile. "I know fashion's not your thing, but do it for the ladies here!" he joked.

"Look, ya spiky-haired delinquent!" Hector started. "I can't prove it, but I know you had something to do with this!" he said before he dropped his robe. "And just to let you know, if this pageant doesn't go on without a hitch, I'm gonna hold you and your fellow criminals accountable! Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal!" Eddy said with a mischievous grin.

Hector put his robe back into his bag and walked off-screen before Nazz walked on-screen.

"What was that all about?" asked Nazz.

"Nothin'!" Eddy lied as he continued to smile.

* * *

In the girls' dressing room, Brooke was standing in front of a large mirror and was wearing a beautiful red corset dress, which showed little cleavage. Her hair was also tied into a bun and was held up by a fake rose. Right when she was about to put lipstick on, Maggie walked in. She was wearing a short, purple backless dress and purple heels. Maggie walked up to a mirror neighboring Brooke's and began putting makeup powder on her face.

"Getting yourself dolled up for the judge?" asked Maggie with a smile.

"What're you talking about?" asked Brooke as she looked at Maggie.

"Oh, you didn't hear?" asked Maggie. "Crystal and Emily had to pull out of the judges' chairs because of some wild emergencies! Our new judges are Ed and…_Nate_!" Maggie said softly as she grinned knowingly.

Brooke got bug-eyed with excitement before she swiftly put lipstick on and let her hair down! She then looked at herself for a brief moment before she moved the top of her dress down some and revealed more noticeable cleavage! Brooke then turned around and walked away from the mirror and towards the exit door before the screen shifted to Nate, who was still asleep. Just then, a feminine index finger started to rub his eyebrows until he woke up and developed bug-eyes when he saw that the feminine hand belonged to Brooke, who was on her knees and on top of the table as she looked at Nate seductively!

"_Hiya, Rome!" _Brooke greeted affectionately in a whispered voice.

"H-h-h-hey, uh, Brooke!" Nate nervously greeted as his chair went flat on the floor.

Brooke swung her legs around and sat on Nate's lap before she took his hood off and continued to smile at him! Brooke looked Nate in the eye while the latter was more interested in her face and her chest!

"_Let's talk!" _Brooke whispered.

On the stage, Eddy, who was standing behind a curtain, saw the whole thing and smiled!

"Yo, Fuller!" Eddy yelled to Ed, "Get a load of this!"

Ed ran up behind Eddy with Holly following him.

"Wow! Pageant hasn't started and he's already gettin' in the contestants panties!" said Ed.

"Assumin' that she's wearin' any!" joked Eddy.

Both Eds laughed heartily before Nazz caught wind of this and walked up behind them.

"What's going on, guys?" asked Nazz.

"Why dont'cha ask our interracial couple out there?" Eddy said as he held in his laughter and pointed to Nate and Brooke.

Nazz looked out there and gasped when she saw Brooke and Nate!

"BROOKE!" Nazz yelled angrily before Brooke turned around. "YER NOT TRYIN' TO SEDUCE ONE OF THE MALE JUDGES ARE YOU?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Brooke lied as she hopped off of Nate's lap.

Brooke fixed her dress up before she walked away from Nate. The latter stared at her butt as she swung her hips and looked back at him with a loving eye! On the stage, Nazz held her head while Eddy, Ed, and Holly looked at her in concern.

"Are you okay, Nazz?" asked Holly.

"I'm fine!" said Nazz. "I just want this pageant to go on without problems! My chances of gettin' into the Kubat Institute depend on it!"

"Relax, will ya?" said Eddy. "Everything's goin' great! What're the chances of any accidents happenin'?"

The screen cut to two black boys (one had an Afro and the other dreadlocks), who were rolling in a huge neon sign that read "WOOTTON". The sign's lights were turned off and it looked as if it were really old. The boys put it by the curtains near Eddy, Ed, Nazz, and Holly before the Afro kid took out a small gray remote that had a red button on it.

"Time to test the lights!" said the Afro kid before he pressed the button.

Eddy, Nazz, Ed, and Holly turned their attention to the neon sign before the words glowed bright yellow and made a noise similar to that of a firecracker.

"Is it supposed to be making noises like that?" Nazz asked as she held her ears in annoyance.

"I dunno!" yelled the kid with dreads. "This thing's old as hell! Lucky for us it's not-"

Before the kid could finish his sentence, the neon sign started to spark before the six teens backed up. One of the sparks landed on top of the curtain before it caught fire and started to spread!

"Oh shit!" said the Afro kid.

Eddy ran over to the emergency fire extinguisher before he broke the glass with his elbow and grabbed the extinguisher. When he ran back over to the group...

"EVERYBODY OUT!" Hector yelled to everyone.

The girls and the workers (save for Ed, Eddy, Nazz, and Holly) quickly ran for the stage exit. Eddy sprayed the neon sign and the curtain, but the latter wasn't coming out all that easy! The fire then spread to one of the curtain bars at the top of the stage before it began to burn it's supporting ropes!

"IT'S NO USE, EDDY!" said Ed as he backed towards the exit. "WE GOTTA GET OUT!"

"ED'S RIGHT!" said Nazz. "IT'S NOT SAFE HERE ANYMORE!"

Holly then looked up and noticed the burning curtain bar before it fell down and descended towards Ed, who had not yet reached the exit door!

"ED!" screamed Holly as she kicked her heels off and ran towards Ed.

Ed looked up and saw the falling fiery bar and was too scared to run out the door! Holly then lunged at Ed and in slow motion, pushed him and herself out of the exit door only seconds after the bar fell to the ground. Out of the exit door, Holly was lying on top of Ed, who was on the ground outside of the school. Ed just stared at Holly in shock. No girl had ever risked her own life to save him. Normally, it was quite the other way around.

"You…risked your neck for me!" said Ed.

"Cuz I care about you, dude!" said Holly with a loving smirk. "I always have and always will!"

Ed stared at Holly and developed a smile of gratitude and happiness. Suddenly, the exit door caught on fire before Ed and Holly got up and backed up. Just then, Eddy kicked the burning door down from the inside before he and Nazz jumped out. Eddy sprayed the fiery door out with the extinguisher before he tossed it (the extinguisher) aside. Eddy's shirt and hoodie was covered with soot.

"You all right?" Eddy asked Ed and Holly as he (Eddy) panted.

"And then some." Ed said with a smile before he looked at Holly.

The teens watched the top of the roof emit smoke before the screen faded to black. The screen reopened in front of the school, which was where the contestants, workers, and Hector were seen standing in front of. The latter was talking to a firefighter before he (the firefighter) walked off-screen. Hector turned around to face the kids and…

"Well?" asked Nazz.

"The entire stage has been burned to a crisp as well as all the work we put into it!" said Hector.

The teens groaned sadly and angrily.

"And I'm afraid that we are going to have to cancel the show this year!" added Hector.

"What?" said the bug-eyed Nazz. "But then I'll have to wait a whole 'nother year before I can get that recommendation!"

"I'm sorry, Nasina!" said Hector. "But what do you want me to do? We can't just rebuild everything! We have to go back to the drawing board and re-plan it! And the planning process alone is about two weeks _not _four hours! Face the facts, Ms. Van Bartonschmeer! The show's ruined!"

"Or is it?" Eddy grinned cunningly.

"I know that look!" said Ed with a smile.

"You have an idea?" Nazz asked Eddy hopefully.

"I think I can re-set the stage if yer willing to re-locate!" said Eddy.

"Yes, Eddy! I will! I will! I will!" said Nazz.

"Sweet! Now, if you'll excuse me, I got some calls to make!" Eddy said before he went into his right pocket, pulled out his phone, opened it, and called Cody.

* * *

In Edd's house, Cody and the unwilling Edd were burning pictures of Sarah and Edd in the fireplace. Edd had one more picture of him and Sarah and it looked like they were at a Christmas party.

"That one, too!" said Cody. "I know it's hard, but you can't leave a single-"

The sound of Cody's phone ringing cut him off. He went into his left pocket and pulled out his phone. He opened it and put it by his ear.

"What's up, Eddy?" said Cody.

"_I got a job for you and yer cousin!" _said Eddy on the other end.

"I'm listenin'!" Cody said.

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to Peach Creek Estates' construction site, where it was now sunset. There was only one completed building. It was shaped like a house and was as large as Kevin's house. It was painted light blue and had a large sign on a pole in front of the building. The sign read "Theater W". Inside, the place was the size of a high-school cafeteria. It had a stage (about as large as a high-school auditorium's stage) with red fireproof curtains, two spotlights that were blue and white, and eight round tables with white covers on them. Each table had five chairs; including one that had a folded piece of paper that read "RESERVED". There was also a long table with three chairs behind it and a folded piece of paper that read "Judges". Hector was standing at the door as he greeted the visitors one by one. Inside the kitchen, Nate had just walked in and towards a black woman, who was commanding five other people (three male and two female) as they each cooked something off-screen. She was slim, was wearing black eyeliner, circular earrings, and a cliché chef's outfit as well as the other guys.

"How's it goin' in here, mom?" Nate asked his mom.

"Great!" said Mrs. Bennett. "The pizzas are all done! Tell your father to take three to each table!"

"Gotcha!" said Nate before he turned around and stuck his head out of the door. "YO DAD! MOM SAYS GET IN HERE AND DELIVER THREE PIZZAS TO EACH TABLE!"

"Nathaniel!" Mrs. Bennett said sternly.

"What?" said Nate. "You yell orders all the time at these guys! Hope they have a good earologists!"

Mrs. Bennett laughed to herself before…

"I gotta get back to the judges' table! Later, mom!" said Nate.

Nate ran out of the room before his father walked in. Mr. Bennett strongly resembled both of his sons. He stood 6'1, had wavy hair (like his sons), was muscular, had a tattoo of a dragon going up his neck, and was wearing a white dress shirt with an open collar and no tie, a black suit jacket, black dress pants, and black dress shoes.

"That kid's almost as good at yelling as you are, Paige!" Mr. Bennett joked as he walked towards his wife (Paige).

"His sense of humor is almost as good as yours, Malcolm!" Paige retaliated with a smile. "Now, get these pizzas!"

Backstage (really in a large empty bedroom), Eddy, Ed, Cody, Edd, and Nazz were peaking out of the door and saw many people coming in.

"Wow!" said Cody. "Didn't think you could tell everyone to come here instead of the school before nightfall!"

"That's the power of texting, dude!" said Nazz.

"I'm surprised some of these old guys know how!" joked Eddy. "All right, you guys go have a seat! I'm gonna go check on the girls in the other room, then we'll get started!"

The teens walked out of the room before Nazz and Ed walked towards the judges' table, while Edd and Cody headed for a table that Kevin, Jonny, and Ashley (who was wearing a black shirt with the Joker's face on it and off-screen pants and shoes) were sitting at. Right when Nazz was about to sit down, she gasped when she saw Hector talking to three young men. One was a Caucasian blonde, another was an African-American, while the last one was mixed. The boys looked about 18 and were all wearing white dress shirts with red ties, blue dress pants, and bronze tags that read "Art Institute of Kubat". The surprised Nazz walked towards the men with a nervous look.

"Oh, and here she is!" Hector said as Nazz walked closer. "Nasina, these young gentlemen are from The Art Institute of Kubat! Gentlemen, this is the young lady I was talking about!"

"Hi!" said Nazz as she shook the blonde kid's hand. "Nasina Van Bartonschmeer!"

"Jonah Foster!" introduced the blonde kid.

"Ross Knox!" introduced the black kid as he shook Nazz's hand.

"Joaquin Chambers!" introduced the mixed kid as he shook Nazz's hand.

* * *

At Kevin's table, Cody, Edd, Ashley, Jonny, and Kevin himself were eating cheese pizza and fried chicken as they talked.

"So, where's Rolf?" asked Cody.

"At home watchin' his own pageant!" answered Jonny before he took a bite out of his cheese pizza.

"Yeah!" Kevin said with his mouthful. "A lame field worker pageant!"

The teens (save for Edd) laughed heartily. Their attention quickly went to Edd.

"Did he take a vow of silence or somethin'?" asked Ashley.

"Pretty much!" said Cody. "Won't even open his mouth for fava beans!"

"What?" the surprised Ashley said.

"I thought that was his favorite food in the world too, Plank!" said Jonny.

"Well, maybe a look at a _real_ woman'll get yer mind off of her!" Kevin said before Ashley elbowed him in the rib.

"Close yer mouth, Jocky-boy!" Ashley said.

"Girl! You hit hard!" said Kevin as he rubbed his rib.

* * *

At the judges' table, Ed was eating a huge chicken thigh, while Nate just sat in his seat and looked at Ed. As he continued to eat, Ed's attention went to Nate.

"What?" Ed said with his mouthful.

"You know yer not supposed to eat at this table, right?" asked Nate.

"I'm hungry!" said Ed with a smile.

"Those college guys'll be here any minute!" said Nate. "They see you doin' stupid shit like this, Nazz won't get her recommendation! Don't you get it? We're supposed to be serious judges!"

Just then, Nazz walked over to the judges' table and sat down in the middle of both boys before she looked at Ed and his chicken thigh.

"Dude, put that away!" said Nazz. "Those college guys are here!"

"What?" Nate said before he turned around and saw the three young judges and Hector sitting at the "RESERVED" table. Seeing them, Ed stuffed the thigh into his left jacket pocket.

"_Okay, quick!"_ whispered Nazz before she and the boys huddled up. _"To show that you guys are tough judges, I had the girls take some liberties with their wardrobe! So, they'll be dressed up real nice for you guys! But instead of letting them get to you, yer gonna break their spirits!" _

"_When you say, "dressed up nice", exactly how nice are we talkin'?" _the whispering Nate asked nervously.

"_Supermodel!" _Nazz answered.

"_No!" _Nate said, knowing that his hormones will find it rather hard to resist Brooke!

Suddenly, the lights clicked off and the curtains opened up. The crowd applauded when Eddy walked on stage with a microphone in his left hand. Behind the teen was a silhouetted staircase. Right after Eddy stepped into the blue spotlight, the crowd ceased applauding.

"_EVENING LADIES AND GENTS!" _Eddy said into the microphone as he smiled. _"WELCOME TO THE 11__TH__ ANNUAL MS. WOOTTON PAGEANT! I'M YER HOST, EDDY GATES!" _

The crowd applauded before the screen shifted to Hector's table.

"Kid's like a professional!" said the impressed Jonah.

"_Professional Criminal!" _Hector muttered to himself.

"What was that?" asked Joaquin.

"Nothing!" Hector lied before the crowd ceased applauding.

* * *

"_DIDN'T THINK THE HOST WOULD BE THE FIRST TO GET ATTENTION!" _Eddy joked before the audience laughed. _"NO SERIOUSLY!" _Eddy said as he laughed. _"A PAGEANT IS NOTHIN' WITHOUT ITS JUDGES, SO PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR…NATHANIEL BENNETT…" _

The white spotlight flashed on Nate as the crowd applauded and he waved.

"…_EDWARD FULLER…" _continued Eddy.

The crowd applauded once more as the spotlight flashed on Ed as he smiled big.

"…_AND FORMER MS. WOOTTON: NASINA VAN BARTONSCHMEER! WHO'S THE LOVELY LADY WHO MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE!" _finished Eddy.

The crowd cheered extra hard for Nazz as the spotlight focused on her. Nazz just sat there with a happy facial expression.

"_AND NOW, GIVE IT UP FOR… OUR LOVELY CONTESTANTS OF THIS YEAR'S PAGEANT! MUSIC MAESTRO!" _Eddy said as he walked backstage left.

Nate went underneath the table and picked up a boom box before he slammed it on the table. He pressed "play" before **Pussycat Dolls': When I grow up **started playing. The college boys were pleased with the song due to its sex appeal. The stage lit up pink and the girls came down one by one as the crowed applauded and countless cameras flashed. First came Holly, Brooke, Maggie, a blonde girl in a backless yellow dress, a blue-haired girl in a light-blue corset dress, a brunette in a tangerine-colored homecoming dress, and a pink-haired girl in a pinkish short summerdress. The girls walked around in a circle before they walked back up the stairs, while the crowd applauded and the screen cut to black and reopened again with Eddy at center stage.

"ALL RIGHT, FOLKS!" said Eddy. "TIME FOR OUR FIRST CATEGORY, WHICH IS: SPRING BREAK ATTIRE!"

"That's original!" said the smiling Ross.

"_HOLLY!" _Eddy called before the crowd applauded.

Holly walked down the stairs and was wearing an open white dress shirt, a blue bra, black daisy-dukes, and flip-flops. She turned around and smiled at Ed before she walked backstage. Kevin uttered a wolf whistle before the screen shifted to his table.

"Hell yeah!" Kevin said.

"Ugh." Ashley groaned before the screen shifted back to the stage.

"_BROOKE!" _Eddy called before the crowd applauded.

Brooke walked down the stairs and was wearing a red sports bra that exposed some cleavage, red daisy-dukes, and flip-flops. She turned around, winked at Nate (who's jaw dropped), and walked backstage before the screen cut to Kevin's table.

"I've seen better!" Kevin said with a yawn before Ashley slapped him in the back of the head. Back on stage…

"_MAGGIE!" _Eddy called before the crowd applauded.

Maggie came down the stairs and was wearing her cheerleading outfit and flip-flops. She turned around once and squinted slightly before she saw the depressed Edd sitting at Kevin's table. She smiled and walked backstage.

"_LINDSEY!" _Eddy called before the crowd applauded.

The blonde girl came down the stairs and was wearing white daisy-dukes and a white tank top. She turned around once and walked backstage.

"_CHLOE!" _Eddy called before the crowd applauded.

The blue-haired girl walked down the stairs and was wearing a short-sleeve black/white-striped shirt and black daisy-dukes. She turned around once and walked backstage.

"_AMANDA!" _called Eddy before the crowed applauded.

The brunette walked down the stairs and was wearing a white Nike Women's Spring Break Point Trend Tank that showed little cleavage and white shorts. She turned around once and walked backstage.

"_AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…" _Eddy said before the screen shifted to the depressed Edd. _"SARA!" _Eddy said while off-screen.

Not realizing that the name was spelled without the "H", Edd got bug-eyed before he bit his lip! Back on stage, the pink-haired girl walked down the stairs wearing only a short-sleeve pink shirt, blue Capri's, and flip-flops. Even though she _wasn't _Edd's Sarah, she _dressed _like her and had her name in terms of pronunciation! This was enough to make Edd frown, stand up, and walked towards the door while the audience was still applauding.

"D, where are you-" Cody started as he stood up.

"Don't follow me!" Edd said stressfully. Back on stage…

"_GIVE IT UP FOR THESE LADIES!" _said Eddy before the crowd applauded once more.

As the audience applauded, something vibrated in Maggie's tank top! She put her hand down in there and pulled out the source of the vibration: her cell phone. As the applause continued, Maggie opened her phone and realized that she had just been sent a text from Cody. The text read "D JUST WALKED OUT! EMO PROBLEM!". Courtesy of her level of intelligence, Maggie knew exactly what Cody meant. She put the phone back into her tank top before…

"_ALL RIGHT!" _said Eddy. _"WE'LL TAKE A BRIEF INTERMISSON SO THAT THE JUDGES CAN DECIDE ON WHO STAYS AND WHO GOES! BUT NONE OF YOU BETTER!" _

The crowd laughed before the curtain closed and the lights turned back on. Behind the curtain…

"5 minutes, ladies!" Eddy said before he slapped Chloe on the butt.

Maggie walked off-stage and ran towards Kevin's table.

"Where is he?" Maggie asked Cody.

"On his way home!" Cody said. "But he just left! You should be able to catch him!"

Maggie nodded "thanks" before she ran out of the door and saw Edd walking in the direction of his house. Maggie jumped outside and ran after him.

"HEY! HEY!" Maggie yelled as she ran after Edd.

Edd stopped, but did not turn around.

"What's up with you?" Maggie asked. "Are you _still_ thinking about that girl? Why can't you move on?"

Edd turned around and was still frowning.

"It is not that simple, Maggie!" Edd said. "For God's sake, I was under the impression that we were in love!"

Maggie put her hands on her hair, spun around in frustration, and looked at Edd.

"Double D." started Maggie. "I know it's hard for you to except it, but that ship has sailed! Past is Past! Guys like you shouldn't be wasting their precious time and valuable life on one person! Look at you! You're a genius! You have the best of friends! And you're a sweet guy! People like you deserve someone that you don't have to wait on! You deserve better! Do you have any idea how much your voluntary depression affects the people that care about you? No one likes to see you this way, Double D! In fact, people are worried that you're depressed enough to…commit suicide."

Edd just stared at Maggie in shock and realized that she was about cry. One tear escaped, but she barely suppressed the rest.

"Please… Double D!" Maggie said emotionally. "You're breaking a lot of hearts. Especially mine. And that's not like you. Just…just…for all our sake…return to us."

Unable to suppress her tears any longer, Maggie began to cry. Edd walked over to Maggie and embraced her in a hug. While still crying, Maggie embraced Edd as well.

"Coming before me to satisfy your desire of emotionally bringing me back to my senses tells me that you care for me…more than a friend." Edd said softly with a smile.

Maggie responded only by looking up at Edd and smiling at the fact that young genius was back.

"And now…" started Edd, "I have something to tell you. Something that did not reach the surface of my heart until now. I've known you for nearly 3 years and…even during my…purged relationship…I-"

"Yes?" Maggie asked softly.

"I-" started Edd.

"MAGGIE!" Cody said from behind Maggie, which prompted both Edd and the latter to look at him. "INTERMISSION'S OVER! THEY'VE LISTED ALL OF THE FINALISTS! YER ONE OF 'EM! GET IN HERE!"

Maggie and Edd looked back at each other before…

"Gotta get back!" said Maggie. "You comin'?"

The screen zoomed in on Edd while dramatic music played in the background.

"Absolutely!" Edd answered.

The screen shifted to the inside of the building before Cody, Maggie, and Edd ran inside. Cody and the now-happy Edd sat back down while Maggie ran on stage and behind the curtain. Edd's other friends noticed his happy facial expression and…

"Good to have ya back, Double dude!" Kevin said with a knowing smile.

"Invigorating to be back, Kevin!" replied Edd.

* * *

On stage, Eddy was standing in the center.

"_WELCOME BACK, MARGARET!" _the stern Eddy said with a smile, which prompted the audience to laugh.

"WHAT I CAN'T PRETTY MYSELF UP SOME MORE BEFORE I WIN?" Maggie sassed jokingly as she spoke into the mike and ran up the stairs.

"Oooooooh! She's got fire!" said Joaquin. "This gets more interesting by the second!"

"_HOPE SHE CAN CHANGE ON HER WAY UP, CUZ THIS CATEGORY IS; SWIMSUITS!" _Eddy said slyly with his left eyebrow up. _"LINDSEY!"_

The audience applauded as Lindsey walked down the stairs wearing a silver Cartier one-piece swimsuit. She smiled at the audience, turned around once, and walked backstage.

"_HOLLY!" _called Eddy before the audience applauded.

Holly walked downstairs wearing a blue bikini. She smiled, turned around once, and walked backstage.

"_BROOKE!" _Eddy called before the audience applauded.

Brooke walked downstairs wearing a green bikini that she was busting out of, much to Nate's delight!

"_I will never complain about school-based pageants again!"_ whispered Nate.

"_That why you've been givin' her 8s and 9s?" _Nazz asked with a smile.

"_Whatever!" _said Nate. _"I didn't give her any 10s!"_

"_AND FINALLY!" _said Eddy before the screen shifted back to him. _"MAGGIE!" _he said before the crowd applauded.

Maggie walked downstairs wearing a pink bikini, which even goody-goody Edd found arousing!

"_JUDGES! YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!" _said Eddy. _"AND WHILE THEY DO THAT, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK! SEE YA AFTERWARDS!" _

The screen cut to black before it reopened on the closed stage, where the sound of finishing applause could be heard. The curtains opened up and showed Eddy standing right in the middle of the stage and in front of the microphone, which was now on a pole. The finalists, Holly, Maggie, Brooke, were standing right behind him. All three girls were wearing their dresses and make-up. Backstage left, Ed, Nazz, and Nate were standing in the shadows with something in each of their hands. Nate had the golden 1st place crown and a large set of roses in his hand. Nazz had a silver crown and only four roses in her hands. Ed had the golden 1st place sash in his hand.

"WELCOME BACK!" said Eddy, who had a small red box in his left hand. "STANDING BEHIND ME ARE OUR THREE FINALISTS: HOLLY O'CONNOR, MARGARET HOOD, AND BROOKE CRENSHAW! I HAVE IN MY HAND THE JUDGES' FINAL DECISIONS!" he said before he opened the box. "THE RUNNER-UP OF THIS YEAR'S MS. WOOTTON PAGEANT IS…MARGARET HOOD!"

The crowd cheered wildly before Nazz walked on stage, handed the excited Maggie the small bouquet of roses, and put the silver crown on her head. Nazz and Maggie cheek-on-cheek kissed before Maggie walked towards the stairs with a big smile. At the end of the stairs was Edd, whose hand Maggie happily grabbed before he helped her down the stairs.

"AND NOW…THIS YEAR'S WINNER OF THE MS. WOOTTON PAGEANT IS…" Eddy went into the box and pulled out the winner's card. And it read… "BROOKE CRENSHAW!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brooke screamed happily as the audience cheered wildly!

Ed first walked on stage and put the sash on Brooke. Nate then showed up, gave Brooke the huge bouquet, and put the crown on her. Brooke took a bow and right before Nate could turn around, Brooke touched his shoulder and he looked at her.

"One more prize!" Brooke said as she put her hand on Nate's face and made him pucker like a fish.

Brooke then kissed Nate on the lips in front of everybody! Even his parents, who proudly looked at their son! Nate, now with lipstick on his lips, just stared at Brooke with an intoxicated smile!

"BAD...ASS!" he exclaimed before he fainted and fell back-first on the stage.

Ed picked up Nate and threw him over his right shoulder while everyone that was on the stage bowed one last time.

"_THAT'S OUR SHOW FOR THIS YEAR, FOLKS!" _said Eddy. _"NEXT, YEAR WE- CAN'T PROMISE YOU THAT WE'LL BE INVOLVED!" _

Eddy hopped off-stage and dusted himself off. At the same time, Jonah, Ross, and Joaquin walked on-stage and approached Nazz. Ed, Brooke, and Holly walked away, so that the four could talk.

"Nasina, this has gotta the smartest and the best pageant we've seen in like ever!" said Joaquin.

"Really?" Nazz asked surprised. "But it didn't have…"

"Fancy pants special effects, an orchestra, and all that unnecessary nonsense?" asked Ross.

"Nonsense?" repeated Nazz.

"All that stuff is spice meant to give the creators a dish that people will never forget!" said Jonah. "What we look for at Kubat college is someone who is smart enough and have the guts to go for their dreams while still having a down-to-earth mind! And what you've created here in terms of your fellow judges and your hilarious host is the exact definition of that! Congratulations, Nasina!" he said as he stuck his hand out at her. "You've got yourself a recommendation!"

Nazz lunged herself at Jonah and hugged him before he laughed and hugged her back.

* * *

At the judges' table, Ed was tending to a saddened Holly, who was upset about not winning anything for her participation in the pageant.

"Don't worry if you didn't win, Holly!" said Ed. "They'll be a lot more things happenin' to you that'll probably be better than any stupid ol' pageant!"

"Thanks, big guy!" Holly said as she hugged Ed. "That means so much comin' from you!"

* * *

At Kevin's table, Edd and Maggie were talking.

"So, what did you want to tell me out there, Double D?" asked Maggie before Edd began to sweat.

"Well, I-" started Edd.

"Yo, D!" said Cody as he approached Edd. "Now that you feelin' better, mind helpin' me out with the cruiser?"

"I was just about to tell Maggie-" started Edd.

"Go 'head!" said Maggie with a smile. "We can always talk later!"

Edd smiled at Maggie before both he and Cody left the building. Back at the judges' table, Eddy and Nazz were talking about what just happened.

"So, you got yer recommendation!" said Eddy with a smile.

"And I couldn't have got it without you!" Nazz said. "You never cease to prove that yer an awesome guy! I mean, you even had a theater house built just for this!"

"By the way," Hector said as he approached Eddy. "how were you able to rent this place?"

"Who said anything about _me _rentin' the place?" Eddy asked with a devious smile.

"But you-" started Nazz.

"Said that I was going to _arrange_ a way for us to rent the place!" said Eddy before he looked at Hector evilly. "And the rent's up!"

"Why are you looking at-" Hector started before someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was a Caucasian construction worker with a yellow hardhat.

"Sir, are you the principal?" asked the worker.

"I am!" answered Hector.

"Your rent bill!" the worker said as he held up a piece of paper.

Hector grabbed the bill and developed bug-eyes before he turned red with anger and turned around to face Eddy. Eddy was smiling deviously, while Nazz looked at Hector with bug-eyes.

"Sir, are you alright?" asked the worker. "Eddy, is he alright?"

"Sure he is!" Eddy said with a seemingly victorious smile. "That's his way of askin' you, **"**Do you want it in cash or cash?**"**!" Eddy joked before the screen shifted to the outside of the building.

"GA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-ATES!" Hector yelled as the screen quaked violently! The screen formed a circle around the building and zoomed in on it until the screen went completely black!

**End of episode 4**

**

* * *

****Phoenix's commentary- That just goes to show you that you should **_**never **_**fuck with a guy like Eddy! **

**

* * *

****Did you know: The Kubat College students "Jonah Foster", "Ross Knox", and "Joaquin Chambers", are named after actors "Jonah Hill", "Ross Bagley", and "Joaquin Phoenix". I chose the Pussycat Dolls song "When I grow up", as the Pageant's theme song because I figured that an all-girl show should have a song sung by an all-girl group that also has sex appeal in music videos. Brooke's affectionate nickname for Nate, "Rome", is derived from his own middle name, "Roman". Also, I have just now set the stage for future, lasting relationships between the Eds and Wootton's most popular girls. (EddyxNazz, EddxMaggie, and EdxHolly. By the way, how'd you like how I made it work between Edd and Maggie?) Next episode is my OCs Nate and Brooke's, so all you romance fans gear up!**

**

* * *

****Title reference: What a girl wants. **

**Acknowledging the reference: Even though it primarily refers to Nazz getting her much-desired recommendation, it also refers to Holly, Maggie, and Brooke getting one step closer to their own desires: Ed, Edd, and Nate!**


	9. Free as an Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note:** Sorry about the long delay fans! But writer's block is a real bitch! Anyway, read, review, and enjoy!

_Italics: Drunken speeches/whispered lines/radio/television /memory recalls_

**Bold: Songs/lyrics/singing artist**

**

* * *

****EPISODE 5: FREE AS AN ED**

* * *

The screen opened up on the outside of Brooke's pink two-story house, where it was nighttime. Her driveway and the curb in front of her house were full of cars and party music could be heard on the inside. Inside, many teenagers were bumping and grinding in the dark living room. The girls were wearing white T-shirts, which were tied into knots at the bottom, and were wearing either black or blue daisy-dukes and shoes with no socks. The guys were wearing their normal clothes as they danced with the girls. The not-so-drunk Nazz (who was wearing blue daisy-dukes) was grinding on the drunken Eddy and the not-so-drunk Holly (also in blue daisy-dukes) was grinding on the drunken Ed. Both Nate (now with a piercing in his right ear) and Twan were heavily drunk and were fighting over who gets to dance with Brooke herself (who was wearing black daisy-dukes and was not drunk at all) by tugging on her arms. Nate had her left arm and Twan had the other.

_"This mine, boy!" _Twan said drunkenly as he pulled Brooke towards him.

_"Naw!" _said the drunken Nate as he pulled Brooke towards him. _"You can't handle… a woman like this! If you could…you'd still be with…with…that bitch! So, this mine!" _

_"Mine!" _Twan said as he pulled Brooke towards him.

_"Mine!" _yelled Nate as he tugged on Brooke, who just smiled.

_"MINE!!!" _yelled Twan as he pulled Brooke harder.

_"MINE, NIGGA!!!!" _Nate yelled before he pulled Brooke towards him with a force so great that Twan not only released her, he stumbled backwards and fell into a brown chair!

"Sorry, Twan!" Brooke said as she laughed. "But it looks like Rome's speaking for me tonight! C'mon, baby! Let's dance!"

Brooke grabbed Nate's hand and walked off-screen.

_"YOU AIN'T GONNA GET NOTHIN' OUTTA HIM!!" _Twan shouted before he laughed.

He looked to his right and saw a heavily drunken Maggie (wearing only a pink bra and panties) making out with an equally drunk and shirtless Edd on the white couch!

_"WAY TO…WAY TO GROW A PAIR, DOUBLE D!" _said Twan before Caitlin (in black daisy-dukes) walked up to him.

"Twan, did you drink a six-pack of vodka…again?" she asked caringly.

_"Oh, naw…naw!" _said Twan. _"I don't…I don't, uh…drink…vodka like that!" _

"You look like you need to cool off! Wanna join me and the others in Brooke's pool?" asked Caitlin before she grabbed Twan's left hand.

_"You mean…go swimming?!" _Twan asked.

"That's right, sweetie!" Caitlin said before Twan stood up and shouted, _"EY! BLACK MAN GOIN' SWIMMIN'!" _

The screen shifted to the backyard, which was where the vodka, absinthe, and Jack Daniels were. Other partygoers were also back there dancing to the song that just started playing: **Hot in Herre**. Brooke's pool was the size of an apartment complex's pool and the maximum deepness was 6ft. It was also bubbling and heated. Brooke, Nate, Eddy, Nazz, Ed, and Holly stood in front of the pool's stairs and looked down at it. Just then, Caitlin showed up with Twan and stood next to Brooke.

_"Pool looks hot…like Ed's breath!" _Eddy joked drunkenly.

_"And it looks tight…like Brookie's ass!"_ Nate said before he slapped Brooke on the butt and made her squeal.

_"I just remembered…I got no uh…swimsuit!" _said Twan.

"Neither do we, right girls?" Brooke said as she smiled.

The boys' facial expression changed. The girls slowly stepped out of their respective shoes and kicked them back before…

_"Oh, hell yeah!" _said Ed as he looked at Holly.

As soon as the song got to the **"Take off all your clothes"** part, Nazz and Brooke slowly and respectively took off their daisy-dukes while Caitlin and Holly slowly took off their knotted shirts. Nazz wore purple panties and Brooke wore red panties while Caitlin wore a black bra and Holly wore a blue one.

_"It's a party now!" _Eddy said as he looked at Nazz.

_"Oh damn!" _Twan said excitedly.

Right after, Nazz and Brooke slowly took off their respective knotted shirts while Caitlin and Holly slowly took off their respective daisy-dukes. Nazz wore a purple bra and Brooke wore a red one while Caitlin wore black panties and Holly blue ones.

_"Damn!" _Nate said as the girls walked down the pool's stairs. _"Red's always my weakness!"_ The girls looked back at the four boys with seductive eyes and gave them (the boys) the "come here" finger.

The boys didn't waste anytime getting undressed. They quickly removed their socks and sneakers while mumbling excitedly and incoherently. Nate revealed himself as wearing black boxers with the golden initials "SP" (SouthPole) on both legs while Twan was wearing gray boxers. Ed wore brown boxers and Eddy was wearing his white boxers with dollar signs on them.

_"Touch this and I'll break yer neck!" _Eddy threatened as he took off his quarter-necklace and threw it to the side.

The boys then chased the girls further into the water before Nate wrapped his arms around Brooke's waist and uttered…

_"BIG TIME SPLASH!!!!" _Nate threw himself and Brooke underwater after the latter joyfully screamed _"AAAAH!!!!!"_

* * *

At Lake Peach Creek, a big brown fishing boat (with Rolf's family's surname "KAZEK" carved on the right side) was right in the middle of the area with a large net in the water. Three men (one black, one white, and one Filipino) in black raincoats were monitoring the net from the boat's top while Rolf, who was wearing a white raincoat made of wool, was monitoring them.

"We got tons of fish already!" said the Caucasian man. "Why can't we head back to shore?"

"Because Captain Ajen doesn't like to leave until he gets the biggest, juiciest fish he can catch!" the black man said sarcastically. "I swear, the guy's a complete…"

"SILENCE!" said Rolf as he pointed a long harpoon at the men from behind, which caused them to jump, but not turn around. "Do not insult Rolf's patriarch unless you wish to endure punishment by his aquatic mammal-piercing harpoon!"

_"His second-in-command son isn't exactly normal either!" _the Filipino man whispered.

"{WHAT WAS THAT?!!!}" Rolf angrily uttered in foreign language.

Suddenly, the fishing net started to move up and down before…

"WE GOT SOMETHING!!!!" yelled the black man as he and his colleagues grabbed the rope and pulled. Rolf opened the hatch-door leading downstairs and yelled: "PAPA! {WE HAVE AQUIRED SOMETHING!!!}"

The next thing that could be heard was heavy footsteps escalating up the stairs. The source stepped out and revealed himself to be the ship's captain and Rolf's father (Ajen), whom he (Rolf) strongly resembled. Ajen had short blue hair, a blue beard, stood 6'1, was muscular, had a skin pigmentation slightly darker than Rolf, and was wearing a long-sleeve plaid shirt, black overalls, and black fishing boots. He took the harpoon from his son and ran up to the three men.

"PULL HARDER!" Ajen yelled in a deep voice. "PULL HARDER! IF RETURN TO LAND, YOU WISH TO!"

The three men pulled down on the rope with all of their might before the net surfaced. What was in the net remained covered by the water. Ajen drew his harpoon back and just before he threw it, he, Rolf, and the men saw what it was and developed bug-eyes. The screen slowly and dramatically shifted to the object. It was an egg, but not an ordinary one. It was the size of an SUV and looked relatively old.

"In the Gods names…call that…what would you?" Ajen asked Rolf.

"Rolf lacks a response, Papa!" Rolf replied. "He has not seen such a thing ever in his lifetime!"

"A discovery for the ages, this is!" said Ajen with a smile, which revealed his green teeth. "A fine profit, it shall bestow upon us! Study it tomorrow, we must! Contact your mother now, will you please!"

Rolf got out his cell phone before the screen shifted to the Kazek's backyard/farm, where Rolf's mother was seen dragging a large black garbage bag across the farm with Wilfred, Victor, a female goat, a brown bull, and two calves watching while lying down. Rolf's mother was slim, had the same skin pigmentation as her son, stood 5'9, had long blue hair, and was wearing silver earrings, a purple wool sweater, light blue pants, and sandals. She dragged the bag all the way to the meat locker before she tossed it (the bag) at it (the locker). Unfortunately for her, it got stuck in between the doorway! She attempted to push it in, but stopped once her phone rang in her left pocket. She pulled it out and answered it.

"Kyema Kazek!" Rolf's mom (Kyema) introduced into the phone. "Of what service may I be?"

_"Mama! Papa and I have aquired an item that may be of greater value than anything that we have marketed!" _said Rolf.

"Of what kind of value, do you speak of?!" asked Kyema with a smile.

_"Rolf thinks that you should orchestrate the great feast of the elders for this one!" _Rolf said. _"Papa and I have already reached land! We shall see you momentarily, yes?"_

"Excellent!" said Kyema before she closed her phone.

She then stepped back a couple of inches and charged at the black bag of meat at EEnE-speed. She successfully knocked the entire thing through the door before both it and she crashed and the animals outside made random noises!

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of Brooke's bedroom, where Nate was seen lying back first on her queen-sized bed while the song **Promiscuous **was playing in the background. Brooke's room consisted of a nightstand with a pink lamp, a flatscreen HDTV complete with a blue-ray disk player, a computer in her corner, four golden medals hanging on her wall, a poster of the band Linkin' Park on her ceiling, a poster of actor "Johnny Depp" on her closed/locked bedroom door, and a poster of the shirtless actor/rapper "Tyrese Gibson" hanging over her bed. Across from her bed was her closet, which was open and had a light inside. Just then, Brooke walked out of the closet wearing only her thin red robe and red-colored cherry-flavored lip-gloss! She smiled at Nate seductively before she slowly walked towards him!

_"I freakin' love workin' on this show!" _Nate drunkenly uttered.

Brooke crawled onto her bed before she stood on her knees and over Nate!

_"Ready?" _she whispered before she licked her lips with her tongue.

Nate didn't respond. He just continued to smile at her. She untied her robe before the screen shifted to the back of her. She slowly took off her robe as **Timbaland **sang: **Promiscuous girl. You're teasing me. You know what I want. And I got what you need**. With the final word said, Brooke was now completely naked, but only her back was facing the screen. Nate developed bug-eyes before the screen shifted to Brooke's pool outside, where the song continued to play. In the pool, Ed had the now-drunken Holly in his arms as they kissed repeatedly! On the steps, the now-drunken Nazz was sitting on Eddy's lap as she made out with him! Twan was also sitting on the steps as the not-so-drunk Caitlin gave him a lap dance! She then ceased and as the final notes to the song played, Caitlin smiled at Twan before she touched his face with both of her hands. She then made out with Twan passionately before the screen faded to black and the song ended.

* * *

The screen opened up in Kevin's kitchen, where Ed, Cody, Eddy, and Kevin himself were seen at Kevin's table laughing as they looked at Cody's digital camera!

"Play it again, dude!" Kevin said as he laughed.

Cody pressed reverse on his digi-camera before he hit play right where Edd and Maggie were making out! The boys busted out laughing uncontrollably! Eddy and Kevin even emitted some tears!

"Oh, man!" exclaimed Kevin as he wiped a tear. "And he only got what? Half a bottle of absinthe?!"

"Whadoya think'll happen if he had a six-pack of Vodka?!" Cody asked as he held in his laugh.

"He'd probably be doin' her doggy-style on a kitchen table!!" joked Eddy as he held in his laughter.

The boys busted out laughing once more! Kevin held his ribs while Cody repeatedly banged on the table as he held his stomach!

"Oh, I could do this all day!" said Eddy as he wiped a tear. "But I gotta get ready for that two-and-a-half day field trip to the Thespian Convention in Cherry Falls! Guys can't do nothin' without their director! Come on, Ed!"

"Oh, I can't go Eddy! I gotta work!" said Ed. "I told you and Double D before we left school yesterday, remember?"

"How can _you_ remember that?!" Eddy asked with a smile. "You scarfed a whole twelve-pack of Jack Daniels!"

"When do you need to be at work?" Kevin asked.

"In…" Ed pulled out his phone and looked at the time, which read: 7:53 a.m. "SEVEN MINUTES?!!! OH MAN! THAT'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH TIME TO GET TO MY CAR!"

"We could take mine!" Kevin said with a proud smile.

"Yours?!" the other boys said in unison before the screen cut to the inside of Kevin's garage. Inside, there was a red Dodge ram that Ed was riding shotgun in. The garage door had just now opened.

"She's a babe all right, bro!" said Eddy.

"Cost me Valerie, but Jacqueline here is twice the woman she-AAAH!" Kevin yelled as Ed honked the horn and looked at Kevin angrily.

"I'll talk to ya'll later!" Kevin said before he got into his truck.

Eddy and Cody walked out of the garage before Kevin drove out of it, on the street, and off-screen. As Cody and Eddy went their separate ways down the sidewalk, the bug-eyed Rolf suddenly appeared on-screen in front of Cody.

"BRILLIANT-YET-LAZY CODY BOY!" Rolf yelled excitedly as he grabbed the side of Cody's arms. "ROLF REQUIRES THE ASSISTANCE OF YOUR NOTORIOUS CEREBRUM!"

Rolf yanked Cody off-screen and held him like a football before he ran back to his farm. In it, Ajen and Kyema were sitting on haystacks and next to the egg and were looking quite excited. Kyema held a notepad and a corn-pen in her hands while Ajen just sat there. Rolf showed up in front of his parents and dropped Cody on his feet and in front of the egg.

"Here he is!" said Rolf. "The cousin of our suburban residence's brainy persnickety companion!"

"Whoa! That is one seriously huge egg!" exclaimed Cody.

"To observe the obvious is not what you're here for!" said Ajen. "Of what origin is this fine yolk?"

"And of what value will it bestow?" asked Kyema as Ajen nodded.

Cody went into his left pocket and pulled out a small black box. He kneeled down on the ground and opened the box before he took out a black scanner-like device with a small rectangular blue-screen. He then pointed the device at the egg before a large green light vertically-scanned the gargantuan egg. He then looked at the blue-screen which read: "_Vircomer pajaro_: Genetically altered species."

"Un-freakin'-believable!" Cody said amazed. "According to my species identification scanner, you got yourself an egg that belongs to a prehistoric bird!"

"Prehistoric?!" Kyema said excitedly. "Ajen! A fortune off of this yolk we shall make!"

"Thank you for providing your service, gadget-wielding Cody boy!" said Rolf as he roughed Cody's hair up.

"Wait! There's somethin' else you gotta know!" said Cody. "My scanner says that it's also mutated! So, maybe it's not the best choice to keep it in a--"

"Handle things from here we will, Cody!" said Ajen. "Done your services are!"

"You don't get it!" said Cody. "The life-form in this egg has an unstable genetic structure! If it hatches, it could be--"

"Depart now if a cut of our profits you desire!" said Ajen.

"Later!" Cody said before he ran off-screen.

"Come Ajen!" said Kyema. "Plans for this item's auction, I must make!"

Ajen and Kyema walked off-screen to begin work on preparing an auction for the egg.

* * *

In Nate's bedroom, Nate himself was seen stuffing his brown suitcase with three pairs of boxers, some socks, and three T-shirts. Nate's room was about as large as Brooke's, but of course was different. He had a queen-sized bed, a brown desk with a lamp and a laptop on it, a small black leather armchair, a widescreen HDTV complete with a blue-ray disk player and multiple DVDs on a large shelf, a "Linkin Park" poster on his closed door, and a poster of the half-naked "Megan Fox" above his bed's wall. Nate flopped back first on his bed and closed his eyes while also having a troubled facial expression. Just then, two knocks came at his door.

"Get in here!" Nate said calmly.

His door opened before Eddy walked in and sat in the black armchair.

"Let me guess!" said Nate as he sat up. "You wanna know how it went when me and Brooke…slept!"

"Actually, I wanna know if whether or not you busted a move _after_ you two…slept!" Eddy said with a smile.

Nate's only response was a sigh of depression, which prompted Eddy to change his facial expression.

"You didn't did you?" asked Eddy.

"I didn't say that!" said Nate.

"You didn't say you did!" added Eddy. "Don't waste yer time tryin' to justify! I've known you since we were pre-teen pen pals, Jersey boy! So, don't think for a second that you can hide somethin' from me!"

"Oh, all right!" Nate sighed. "Truth is…I didn't see Brooke at all this morning after I left her house cuz…I've been doin' some thinkin'."

"Start talkin'." Eddy said as he sat back in the seat.

"Well…how do I know for sure that Brooke really likes me?" asked Nate. "Every time she flirted or got with me…I realized that…there was somethin' prior to that happenin'. She showed me some skin action last week…_after _she found out I was one of the Pageant's judges! And just last night as you know…we slept. _After_ I got drunk!"

"What are you gettin' at, man?" Eddy asked.

"I'm startin' to think that she…don't find me mentally or physically attractive." Said Nate.

"Dude!" Eddy said as placed his elbows on his (Eddy's) lap. "Yer in serious denial! All right? Ever since you saved her from Hulk jr. that day, her eyes popped open! She now knows how much you care about her and is more than willin' to give you a chance and make sure that yer the one for her! Do you feel the same way?"

"Well…yeah." Answered Nate as he looked down. "When I was with Nazz, I…thought she would've been the one for me. But we… realized that our hearts just…couldn't click. So, we broke up. Brooke and I started talkin' as friends even before the incident with Hulk Jr. Yet… I realized that she…was the girl that I've… always wanted."

"Then the only thing I can tell you as a friend is to…follow yer heart!" said Eddy as he stood up.

"Thanks, bud!" Nate said as he stood up.

The two gave each other a high-five and a man hug before the screen faded to black. The screen reopened in the afternoon, where several kids were seen getting on board a new-looking bus that read "PEACH CREEK PUBLIC SCHOOLS" on both sides. Six unknown kids got on board first with their respective luggage. Followed by, Brooke, Nazz, Holly, Maggie, and Edd. Twan walked up to the bus while holding his luggage in one hand and Caitlin's in his other.

"See ya Monday, baby!" said Twan before he and Caitlin kissed.

Caitlin smiled and walked off-screen before Twan got on board and the doors closed. Twan sat in front of his brother and Eddy in the back, which was where Holly, Maggie, Brooke, and Nazz were. Edd was sitting next to Maggie with the former sweating uncontrollably and the latter blushing suggestively! Nazz and Holly sat together while Brooke sat alone in front of them. In the front seats, there was a blonde boy, a brown-haired boy, a redheaded boy, a girl with shoulder-length blue hair, a girl that had her black hair in a ponytail, and an orange-haired boy. In the very first seat were the drama teachers: an African-American man and a Caucasian female. The man had wavy hair and was wearing a long sleeve black shirt and an I.D. necklace that read "Christian Downey", while the female had long brown hair and was wearing a frilly white dress shirt and an I.D. necklace that read "Kathryn Hudson". The bus driver was also African-American.

"That everybody?" asked the driver.

"I believe so!" said Kathryn.

The bus driver closed the bus door, shifted gears, and drove off-screen. Inside, Twan looked over at Brooke and saw her sitting alone before he looked at his brother with a teasing smirk. Nate was playing rock, paper, scissors with Eddy before…

"Ey, wannabe!" Twan joked as he slapped Nate on the chest. "Thought you and Brooke got close last night! When are ya gonna talk to her?!"

"Ain't'chu supposed the sensitive twin?! What's wrong wit'chu?!" Eddy asked.

"Cuz unlike some dickhead brothers who sleep with a girl one night and hook up wit her in the mornin', I like to wait for a betta moment!" said Nate.

"When?! After she goes runnin' back to Kevin?!" Twan teased before he laughed, which prompted Brooke to throw her black luggage bag at him (Twan) while off-screen. The bag hit him in the face and caused random things to swirl around his head! This made Eddy bust out laughing while Nate looked at her with a smile.

"Nice shot!" Nate said appreciatively, which prompted Brooke to wink at him.

Nate continued to smile at Brooke before he looked at Eddy, who ceased laughing. Eddy then motioned for Nate to go sit with her, due to him (Eddy) acknowledging the fact that that was what he (Nate) wanted to do. Nate got up out of Eddy's seat and sat next to Brooke, who smiled happily.

"Wanna listen to Linkin' Park?" Nate asked.

"New Divide?" Brooke suggested as she raised her right eyebrow.

"My favorite!" Nate said with a smile.

"Mine too!" Brooke replied sarcastically with a smile.

Nate got out his blue ipod and headphones before he hooked them up and put one in his ear as Brooke did the same with hers. In the backseat, Edd was working on a gray, pistol-like device while kneeling down on his green duffel bag. He just now put a black, bullet-like piece of metal in the sliding portion of the pistol before he closed it shut. Maggie looked relatively interested.

"What's that, Double D?" asked Maggie.

"My latest innovation…an _aurora _light-emitting pistol!" replied Edd. "Name and purpose originating from…"

"The phenomenal Natural lights: _Aurora Borealis_!" interrupted Maggie. "Named after the Roman Goddess of Dawn herself!"

Edd just stared at Maggie with eyes of awe. It was such a nice feeling for a teen like him to meet a gorgeous and popular girl who was just as studious as he is.

"Mind telling me more about it?" Maggie asked with a smile.

"Uh…certainly!" Edd said as he recovered. "This device that basks in the guise of a common handgun emits, when triggered, a substantial amount of luminosity that is more than large enough to accommodate the nocturnal skies with a light that is equivalent to that of the renowned and graceful Northern lights!"

"Basically, a flair gun with an extra boost to it!" Maggie translated with a smile.

"Correct!" Edd said after he took another surprised pause, which prompted Maggie to continue smiling at him.

"You plan on bein' lost somewhere or somethin'?" asked Maggie.

"If there is one thing, which is perhaps the only thing if I recall, that I have learned from my varied misadventures with Eddy, it's that you must take risks and initiative! Other than that, this is the only thing, aside from you, that will decrease the amount of boredom that I may endure until we reach our destination!" Edd said before Maggie giggled.

* * *

At Rolf's farm, Jimmy and Jonny could be seen standing in front of the house's fence as they stared at the gargantuan egg.

"That's gotta be the biggest thing since tie-dye, huh Plank?" asked Jonny.

"Whadoya think laid that?" asked Jimmy.

"Probably an extra, extra, EXTRA large chicken!" joked Jonny.

"Let's go check it out!" Jimmy said as he began to crawl over the fence.

"I dunno, man!" Jonny said. "That thing looks like it could fetch a pretty penny at the market! Who knows what'll happen if we crack it even by accident?!"

"I'm gonna tell you what Twan told me when he was teachin' me how to be who I am today!" said Jimmy as he landed on his feet. "Grow a pair!"

Jimmy walked over to the egg before the unwilling Jonny hopped the fence and ran after him. As they studied the egg, the screen slowly transitioned to the inside of Rolf's living room, where Rolf was seen standing excitedly in front of his super-small TV. Just then, Rolf's facial expression changed into annoyance when a male voice on the screen uttered…

"_We'll be right back!" _

"EEE! Curse these commercialized campaigns of anticipated enterprise!" yelled Rolf before his stomach growled loudly. "Ho! Ho! Ho! Rolf's rage has left him ambitious for nourishment, yes?" he said before he walked towards his doorway. Back outside…

"Definitely not an ostrich egg!" said Jonny as he kicked it.

"There's no bird on this planet that's big enough to lay something like this!" said Jimmy. "Sarah and I know this cuz we got As in biology! It must be a fake or somethin'!"

"Now, why would Rolf keep a fake egg on his farm?" Jonny asked.

"I dunno!" said Jimmy. "Just cuz he's weird doesn't mean he doesn't like to be funny!"

"Let me be the judge of whether or not this thing supports life!" said Jonny.

Jonny put his left ear to the egg in order to listen for signs of a heartbeat.

"What's next? A van with a peace symbol on it?" joked Jimmy.

"Shh!" Jonny said as he continued to listen in on the egg.

All was silent until the only thing that could be heard was…a heartbeat that originated from the egg!

"FOUND IT! IT'S ALIVE!" exclaimed the excited Jonny.

"WHAT?!" the bug-eyed Jimmy said before he ran up to the egg and put his ear by it.

The screen shifted to the inside of Rolf's kitchen, where Ajen and Kyema were seen at the table making plans while mumbling in their own language. Rolf walked in as he sung in his language before he opened the refrigerator door. He then took out a pitcher of grape juice and closed the door. As he took a sip, he looked out the window and spat in surprise when he saw Jimmy and Jonny touching the egg! "INTRUDERS!" he shouted, which prompted Ajen and Kyema to look at him and out of their window. Rolf angrily busted through the door before he confronted Jimmy and Jonny, who stood up straight and stared at Rolf.

"Speak to Rolf, curious-as-a-cat younglings!" Rolf said. "Why do you make unauthorized contact with his family's yolk?!"

Jimmy and Jonny only uttered "UHHs" as they laughed nervously and moved their respective feet around. Rolf continued to angrily stare at the boys until suddenly, unbeknownst to him, the egg began to shake, but slowly! It did it again, but this time…Jimmy and Jonny noticed!

"YOU HAVE STOLEN THE TRUST OF THE SON OF A--!" Rolf yelled as Jimmy and Jonny walked backwards and continued to stare at the egg.

"Uh…Rolf!" said Jimmy as he developed bug-eyes.

"DO NOT INTERRUPT ROLF, HE-WHO-HAS-DENTAL-ISSUES JIMMY BOY!" Rolf yelled as the egg began to hatch right behind him. "GET OFF OF ROLF'S PROPERTY BEFORE--"

Rolf was interrupted when Jonny pointed to Rolf as he (Jonny) sweated and developed a fearful facial expression. Rolf slowly turned around before he too developed a surprised facial expression! Right when he completely turned around, two huge black and moist wings busted out the sides of the egg! Next, Rolf backed up as two large bird feet sprouted from the bottom of the egg. The trio continued to watch in fear when suddenly…the egg exploded completely before the entire bird could be seen! It stood 6'6, had black and white feathers, and a head that appeared to be amalgamated with a falcon in shape, but an eagle in beak!

"SQUA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-WK!!!!!!!" the bird screeched in a loud, earth-trembling voice.

Jonny and Jimmy hid behind Rolf in fear, with the latter just staring at it with bug-eyes. The bird sprouted its wings, flew up into the sky, and disappeared from human eyes at great speed. But that didn't stop the boys from continuing their gaze into the sky. Just then, Ajen and Kyema rushed outside and looked up into the sky; having saw the whole thing via the kitchen's window.

"A profit we won't make…something tells me." said Kyema as she looked up in horror.

"Serious this is, Kyema!" Ajen said as he ran towards them. "Disclose the future resting nest for the gargantuan winged beast, we must! A hunt we must begin!"

"Papa! You know not of what this beast is capable of emitting!" said Rolf. "We must make ourselves familiar with its origin first! And as far as Rolf knows, only the currently-present Cody boy can supply us with just that! Jonny-the-wood-boy, unearth the brainy Cody boy so that he may provide us with credible information! He-who-lacks-a-full-head-of-hair Jimmy boy! Contact Kevin and the labor-drowned Ed boy so that we may share with them the conditions in case we require spare yak backbones!"

"Sharpen the hunting harpoons I shall!" Ajen said before he ran off-screen.

"Cancel the auction plans at once I must!" said Kyema as she walked off-screen.

As everybody else split up, Rolf simply sat down on a haystack and leaned back in relaxation!

* * *

At a "Rest stop" station, the sun had already begun to set and the PEACH CREEK bus was parked on the curb. Eddy and Twan were in front of one of the vending machines with the former having a plastic bag full of treats in his left hand. Eddy went into his left pocket and pulled out two dollars.

"Whadoya want?" Eddy asked.

"Reese's is good." Said Twan. "Y'know, if yer good at givin' relationship advice, how come _you_ ain't got a girlfriend?"

"A girl hooks up with you after she seduces you in a pool one night and now all of the sudden you think yer the only one who's…quote…"Got a pair."?" Eddy said as he put the first dollar in.

"Ey, don't be stealin' my catchphrases, moneyman!" joked Twan with a smile. "I need those for when I get started on my acting career! You'd instantly be on my "Most hated Directors" list!"

"Whatever!" Eddy smirked as he put in his second dollar. He then bent down and extracted a pack of mini-powdered doughnuts from the machine. He pressed some off-screen buttons, bent down, and extracted Twan's Reese's before he shoved the thing in his mouth! "Time to go!" he said nonchalantly as he walked back to the bus.

"That ain't funny!" Twan said after he took out the Reese's and followed Eddy back onto the bus.

"Snackmaster's back!" Eddy yelled.

"Shh!" shushed Nazz. "We're trying to listen to the radio!"

"Turn it up a little will ya, driver-man?" requested Nate before the driver did so.

"_--THE CHAIN OF EVENTS DON'T STOP THERE, CONNOR!" _said a man on the radio. _"JUST A MINUTE AGO, WE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A REPORT ABOUT A YOUNG WOMAN, WHO SAW HER BOYFRIEND GET SNATCHED UP BY A CREATURE WITH WINGS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!" _

"_BELIEVE IT OR NOT, ALAN, THIS IS STRANGE!" _said Connor as Eddy and Twan respectively sat back down in their seats. _"CUZ IN THE PAST HOUR, FIVE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE PEACH CREEK AREA HAVE REPORTED THE SAME THING! EXCEPT IT WAS BROTHERS, SONS, DAUGHTERS, AND EVEN PARENTS THAT WERE THE ONE'S THAT DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR LOVED-ONES' SIGHTS! THE STRANGEST THING IS THAT ALL OF THESE KIDNAPPINGS SEEM TO HAVE A PATTERN. AUTHORITIES SAY THAT EACH PERSON THAT WENT MISSING WAS PERHAPS NO MORE THAN TWO MILES AWAY FROM THE LAST ONE! ALSO DEDUCING THAT THE ELUSIVE CAPTOR IS CURRENTLY ON THEIR WAY TO THE FOLLOWING TOWN: CHERRY FALLS!"_

"On their way?" asked Maggie.

"Oh dear!" exclaimed Edd.

"Yo, Eddy!" said the blonde kid. "You believe this?!"

"Dude, a creature with wings?!" Eddy said as he smirked. "Looks like drugs is startin' to hit Peach Creek a little harder!"

"Still, radio anchormen never joke around!" said Kathryn. "We should get a move on!"

"Yer right! Let's move!" Christian ordered the driver.

The driver started the bus back up and drove off before the screen slowly transitioned to the still-traveling bus at nightfall. It was raining, thundering, and lightening all at once. Christian and Kathryn both looked like they were falling to sleep. All of the kids up front were asleep, but some of the ones in the back weren't. Eddy was playing an unknown game on his cell phone, Twan was asleep, Nazz and Holly were listening to "Kamille" (a fictional pop singer first mentioned in **How to Catch an Ed**) on the former's purple ipod as they happily looked at Maggie; who had the sleeping Edd's head on her lap! Nate was just resting his eyes while Brooke listened to "Linkin' Park: Numb" on her white ipod. As Nate rested his eyes, he could hear his own voice in his head, which uttered…

_"Brooke and I started talkin' as friends even before the incident with hulk Jr. Yet… I realized that she…was the girl that I've… always wanted."_

_"Then the only thing I can tell you as a friend is to…follow yer heart!" _Eddy uttered within Nate's mind, which prompted the latter to open his eyes. Nate then looked at Brooke and tapped her on the shoulder. Brooke took out her headphones and looked at Nate with a smile.

"What's up?" she asked.

"I…got somethin' to tell ya." said Nate. "Somethin' that's been botherin' me for…a while."

Brooke developed a surprise facial expression. Is Nate about to do what she thinks he's about to?

"Yes?" Brooke said as she closed her eyes halfway in affection.

"I-I…" started Nate. "I L-"

Nate was cut off when the bus suddenly starting jerking from side to side, which prompted everyone to wake up.

"GODDAMN!!!" yelled the driver as he drove evasively.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" yelled Christian as he stood up. "KEEP THIS THING STRAIGHT!"

"TRY TELLIN' THAT TO THESE PEOPLE!" yelled the driver. "THEY'RE DRIVING THE WRONG WAY!! AND IN A HURRY!!!"

"WHY?!" asked Kathryn.

"I DON'T-AAAH!!" the driver gasped as he looked ahead.

Kathryn and Christian developed bug-eyes and gasped when they saw…the giant bird sitting right on top of the hood with it's gleaming red eyes focused directly on them! The kids looked ahead as well and developed fearful eyes as they gasped. Eddy and Nate stood up to get a closer look, but the bird jumped off of the hood and flew off-screen before everyone on the bus saw that they were headed straight for the edge of the bridge leading to "Blossom River"!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" everyone screamed as the driver turned the wheel vigorously. The bus barely, but successfully evaded their grisly fate, but because it was still raining very hard and the driver was suffering from uncontrollable fear, they had no idea where they were going!

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" yelled Nate.

"I DUNN-WHOAAA!!!" exclaimed Eddy as the bus began experiencing more turbulence. The screen cut to the outside of the back of the bus, where the bird was seen attacking the vehicle! Just then, "SCREEEEEEEECH!!!": the bird unleashed a sonic wave from its mouth, which destroyed the back left tire! Effectively, making the bus "limp"! The bird then flew over to the right back tire before "SCREEEEEEECH!!!!": it destroyed the right back tire as well! The bus then started sparking as the back of it was dragged across the street! The driver continuously turned the wheel vigorously before the bird suddenly appeared right in front of the windshield!

"THERE IT IS AGAIN!" yelled Eddy. "WATCH OUT!!"

Just then, the bird used it's talons to break through the windshield and snatch the driver before he screamed and the bird flew away with him!

"AAAAAAAH!!!!" everyone yelled.

Eddy ran up to the driver's seat and shouted "MOVE!!" before he hopped in and turned the wheel vigorously! He ended up driving the crippled bus right through a large gate that read "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY: NO ADMITTANCE". Right in the middle of the area, the bus ceased moving. Just as well, the night sky ceased raining and lightening, but it continued thundering.

* * *

In Rolf's living room, Kyema, Ed, and Kevin sat on the couch, Rolf sat in the chair, Jimmy and Jonny sat on the floor Indian-style, while Cody stood up and faced Rolf.

"Let me get this straight!" said Cody as he held his head in frustration and began to pace. "You and your dad went fishin' and found that egg in of all places: LAKE PEACH CREEK?!!!"

"Yes, he-who-recites-the-established-point Cody boy!" said Rolf with a smile. "That is the primary location that Papa and I occupy when hunting for aquatic creatures that Mama can auction!"

"Dude, don't you watch the news? Or Commercials?" Kevin asked.

"The latter of which Rolf passionately disregards!" replied Rolf.

"Obviously not!" said Cody with his arms folded. "If he did, he would know that they trash chemicals, waste, and some other unwanted shit in there! That egg you found probably wasn't even that big originally! At least then, it wouldn't be lethal when it hatches!"

"Lethal?!" repeated Rolf.

"Yeah, man. Lethal!" said Ed. "A giant prehistoric bird and a modern world ain't exactly a good mix!"

Rolf looked down with an emotionless facial expression. Just then, Ajen came rushing into the living room with three sharpened harpoons in his left hand and a black radio in his right.

"Listen!" Ajen yelled as he held up his radio.

"_--WELL, A CRAZY DAY IS NORMALLY FOLLOWED BY A CRAZY NIGHT, CONNOR!" _Alan said on the radio. _"NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA HAS SO MANY PEOPLE WENT THE WRONG WAY ON EXPRESS WAY AT ONCE! AND APPARENTLY, THEY ALL SEEM TO BE IN A MASSIVE HURRY!!" _

"_INDEED, ALAN!" _Said Connor. _"BUT THEY AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WHO APPEAR TO HAVE SOME ROAD TROUBLE! NOT TOO LONG AGO, A SCHOOL BUS FROM PEACH CREEK WAS SEEN SWERVING AND JERKING IT'S WAY AROUND WILLIAMS STREET NEAR EXPRESS WAY! ALMOST AS IF SOMETHING WAS AFTER THEM!" _

"_LET'S JUST HOPE THAT IT'S NOT THE SAME ELUSIVE KIDNAPPER THAT WE'VE BEEN GETTING RECURRING REPORTS ABOUT!" _said Alan. _"BECAUSE BY THIS TIME, THAT IS MORE THAN LIKELY WHERE THEY CURRENTLY--" _

Ajen cut the radio off while the others stared at the radio in shock.

"Begin the hunt I must!" Ajen said as he turned around and walked out of the living room.

"PAPA!!" Rolf yelled as he stood up and ran after his father, who ceased walking and turned around to face his son. "ALLOW ROLF TO LOCATE THE ANCIENT WINGED BEAST AND DECIMATE IT! FOR IT IS HIS FRIENDS WHOSE LIFEFORCE IS IN PERIL!"

"Too young and not experienced enough you are!" said Ajen. "Remain here with your mother, you will!"

"Papa, Rolf has accompanied you on the great bear hunt in his youth!" said Rolf. "When you ceased to be conscious at the final momentum, it was I who drove the harpoon through the beast's heart! Rolf can and must execute this task for the sake of his not-of-blood-but-bond family!"

"Saddened, heartbroken, and suicidal will your mother be if you were to perish." Said Ajen.

"Mama must learn how to allow the infant fowl to leave the nest." Rolf said with a serious look on his face. "As had Nana with you!"

Ajen realized how much his friends meant to Rolf and how much of a man he was becoming. The screen shifted to the outside of Rolf's shed, where Rolf had just kicked the door open from the inside and was wearing the same hunting attire he wore in the **Big Picture Show**. He had a gray portable, miniaturized harpoon gun in his left arm and had the three harpoons his father had in his other arm. In front of him was his old tractor, which Cody, Kevin, and Ed (who was drinking gravy in a white mug) were sitting inside of. Ajen, Kyema, Jimmy, and Jonny were standing in front of the tractor and were looking at Rolf, who walked towards them and climbed to the top of the tractor. As he sat down…

"Be safe my son!" said Kyema.

"Fear not, Mama!" said Rolf. "As Rolf will see to it that the beast falls before his own blood is spilled!"

Rolf shifted gears on his tractor before he and the boys drove onto the street. As they drove down the street, the screen faded to black.

**

* * *

****Did you know: The "Thespian Conference" that Eddy and co. was going to was a direct homage to the annual "Thespian Conference" that the drama department and the musical theatre department go to. "Blossom River" is named after "Cherry Blossoms": a name that I found appropriate for a town called "Cherry Falls". The drama teachers "Christian Downey" and "Kathryn Hudson", are named after three more of my favorite actors. "Christian Bale" (who is best known as "Bruce Wayne/Batman" in Nolan's Batman series), "Robert Downey Jr." (known as "Tony Stark/Iron Man" in the titular film and "Sherlock Holmes", which he won a Golden Globe for), and "Kathryn "Kate" Beckinsale" (whose work I became a fan of after seeing "Pearl Harbor"). "Williams Street" is named after "Tyler James Williams": my ideal voice talent for Nate and Twan. **

**

* * *

****Character Development: Like Danny, his sons, and the Eds, the twin characters, Nate and Twan are strongly based on myself. With some of the traits that Nate has originating from the person I named him and his brother after, my friend "Zack Bennett". Nate likes to goof off and occasionally curse (though is serious sometimes), loves listening to Linkin' Park, likes to make people laugh, and is from "New Jersey": That's me! He's also a party-boy, an athlete, and has recently gotten his ear pierced: that's Zack! Twan has aspirations to become an actor and often tells his fellow men to "Grow a pair" when they're scared: that's me also! Plus, I hope you like how I portrayed Rolf's parents in my own adaptation. And I am well aware of Rolf's dad being a shepherd (hence him always saying that he is "The son of a shepherd"), but I figured that since there has been some hints in the past that indicate that Rolf's parents know more about modern culture than he does, that both Ajen and Kyema should have modern day occupations.**

**

* * *

****I added the whole _"Aurora Borealis"_ thing because it fascinated me growing up. Also, if you wish to know what _"Vircomer pajaro"_ really means, yer gonna have to stick around for next half. (And if you know, please don't use the review box to tell me! You'll spoil it!)**


	10. Free as an Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **Nothing to say here except for the fact that this chapter might be a little long! But hey, I'm Actionphoenix260! I don't create something too long or too short unless I throw a thrill into the plotline here and there! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The screen opened up at the PEACH CREEK bus, where Christian was seen sitting in the driver's seat with the radio in his hand as Kathryn stood behind him. The bus was right in the middle of what appeared to be a ghost town.

"Hello? Hello? HELLO?" Christian said into the radio. "Is anyone out there? Hello! Hello!"

But there was no response. All that could be heard was the overlapping voices of many panicked people. The kids all tried their phones, but…

"I got no reception in here!" said Eddy.

"Neither do I!" said everyone else.

"Damn it! We're on our own!" shouted Christian.

"What do we do?" asked Kathryn.

"Only one thing to do!" answered Christian. "We gotta get on the street and see if we can get help!"

The kids overheard the conversation and protested all at once.

"BE QUIET!" yelled Christian as he stood up.

"Are you outta yer fuckin' mind?" yelled Holly. "Did you see that thing out there and what it did to our tires and the driver?"

"What the hell was that thing, anyway?" asked Twan.

"_Vircomer pajaro_!" answered Edd calmly.

"What?" asked Nazz.

"Man-eating bird." translated Maggie. "But by the look of its features, it must be prehistoric!"

"But be that as it may, no historical data has indicated that they were once of large proportions!" said Edd. "Perhaps it was conjured through the utilization of genetic experimentation!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Nate interrupted. "Are you sayin' that thing that attacked us was some kinda…mutant bird?"

Edd and Maggie simultaneously nodded, which prompted the other kids to develop bug-eyes.

"Oh, great! That's just great!" said Eddy. "As if normal-sized birds don't get on my nerves!"

"So, basically… we're screwed if we set foot off this bus, right?" asked Brooke.

"Perhaps not!" said Edd. "Radio contact and contact via cellular device might be futile, but if one can remain outside for a mere second or two, we might be able to contact help!"

"That's a good idea, Eddward!" complemented Kathryn. "I'll go!"

"Yer crazy!" said Eddy. "The moment you step off, our fine feathered fucker out there is bound to take you out!"

"That thing hasn't been back in at least a half hour, Eddy!" said the blue-haired kid.

"No, he's right!" said Christian. "It just crippled the bus! Imagine what would happen if it saw any of us again! Kathryn, let's go! I'll walk with you! Eddy, I'm leaving you in charge!"

"Why? Cuz he's the director?" the redheaded kid complained.

"Jealous, Spencer?" Eddy said with a smile.

"Don't start!" lectured Christian. "This is neither the time nor the place!"

Christian opened the door and walked off the bus before he helped Kathryn off. The two walked over to and in front of the old bank that was about six feet away from the bus. Their attempt was to avoid the possibility of the kids being captured if something were to happen to them.

"Dylan, close the door!" Eddy told the blonde kid (Dylan).

Dylan walked up to the handle and shut the door on Eddy's order. Kathryn called 911 and was able to get good reception!

"My phone's working, Christian!" Kathryn said excitedly.

"Yes!" he exclaimed victoriously.

"_911! Please state your emergency!" _a woman said over the phone.

"Hello?" Kathryn started. "I'm here to report-AAAAAAAAAH!"

Kathryn screamed when in the blink of an eye, the mutant bird used its talons to grab her shoulders and fly off before she dropped her phone! At that moment, the kids all rushed to the windows in fear! Just then, Christian ran towards the bus in fear and bug-eyed horror!

"Yo, where the hell's Mrs. Hudson?" yelled Nate.

"I dunno!" said Eddy. "DYLAN, GET READY TO OPEN THE DOOR!"

Dylan put his hand on the handle as Christian ran closer and closer. Christian smiled when he thought he was about to reach the bus in time. But right after Dylan opened the door and Christian could step on…

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Christian screamed as the bird snatched him and flew away with him!

"SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT THE DOOR!" yelled the bug-eyed Eddy.

Dylan shut the door before all of the teens ran to the back of the bus while screaming and panicking!

"God knows I hate birds!" exclaimed Eddy.

* * *

Meanwhile on an unknown road, Rolf, Kevin, Ed, and Cody were driving down it with many horns honking as they drove by. Kevin had some kind of red radio with a walkie on his lap.

"Honk Honk, yerselves!" Ed yelled. "Douches!"

"Cody, exactly what are we dealing with, man?" asked Kevin.

"Like I said, it's a mutated prehistoric bird!" said Cody. "Durin' the time it's kind existed, it was part of a meat-eating race of birds, but they were nowhere near the size this one was! Back then, they would only eat as much as the leg of another animal and get full just like that! But a meat-eating mutated bird like the one we're huntin' has a taste worthy of a T-rex!"

"Jesus!" exclaimed Kevin.

"We have less time than Rolf thought!" said Rolf. "He-who-possess-permanent-ink-on-his-limb Kevin boy, utilize this communication box to see if you are able to establish the whereabouts of our fellow youth!"

Kevin unhooked the walkie and turned on the radio before he put the former by his mouth.

"Yo, can anybody hear me? Yo!" said Kevin. But all he could hear was static and overlapping voices. He adjusted the frequency a little. "Eddy! Nate! Are you guys there? It's Kevin!" he adjusted the frequency once more.

* * *

Back at the bus, Edd was sitting at the driver's seat as he stared at the radio. Everyone sat in their respective seats (save for Nate and Brooke, who sat together) and was trying ever so hard not to fall asleep. Brooke was scared and sweating at the fact that the bird could come in at anytime.

"_Hey…it's gonna be alright!" _Nate whispered with a positive smile.

"_How do you know?" _Brooke asked as she began to cry. _"We've been out here for almost two hours and not a single person can help us! Face it, Nate! We're screwed! And I didn't even-" _

"_Hey! Hey!" _Nate said as he grabbed Brooke's hands. _"Don't worry! I won't let anything happen to you! I promise!" _

Brooke emitted some tears and smiled before she rested her head on Nate's shoulder. He smiled back at her and hugged her. Just then…

"_YO! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME OUT THERE!" _Kevin's voice said via the radio.

"Everyone wake up!" yelled Edd. "I found someone!"

The other kids started to wake up with Eddy and Nate standing up. Edd grabbed the walkie and put it by his mouth.

"Hello! Yes? This is Eddward Knight!" Edd said into the walkie. "We are trapped in a disabled bus in an unknown desolate town and are in need of immediate assistance!"

"_DOUBLE D? IS THAT YOU?" _Kevin asked via the radio.

"Kevin?" Edd asked surprised.

The other kids stood up in surprise and started mumbling while saying Kevin's name all at once.

"_DOUBLE D, CAN YOU TELL ME AGAIN WHAT'S GOIN' ON?" _asked Kevin. Right before Edd could answer, Eddy snatched the walkie from him.

"I'll tell ya what's goin' on!" yelled Eddy. "Birds have just pulled top gun on the freakin' food chain!" he said before the screen shifted back to Kevin and co. _"WE'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS BECAUSE OF SOME FEATHERY BASTARD! IT KIDNAPPED OUR TEACHERS AND OUR BUS DRIVER! WE NEED HELP AND WE NEED IT, NOW!" _

"Well, yer in luck, bro!" Kevin said with a smile before the screen shifted back to the bus. _"ME, ROLF, ED, AND CODY HAVE ALREADY HIT THE ROAD AND ARE ON OUR WAY TO GET YOU AND THAT BASTARD THAT'S AFTER YOU! ALL WE NEED TO KNOW IS WHERE YOU GUYS ARE!"_.

"Uh…" Eddy said before he handed Edd the walkie and looked back at the other kids. "Anybody know where the fuck we are?"

All at once, the kids began saying no.

"Oh shit!" exclaimed Eddy as he slapped his forehead.

"Wait! I know another way they can find us!" said Nazz. "Double D! Didn't you invent a flair gun or something?"

"Right!" said Maggie. "Double D! Your _Aurora _light-emitting pistol! If it's as effective as you told me it was, then Kevin and the guys should be able to find us, right?"

"Well… even though I haven't tested it yet, I'm relatively sure that it'll work!" answered Edd before he put the walkie by his mouth. "Kevin! We aren't sure where we are, but we have another means of telling you! All that you must do is pay attention to the sky!"

"_GOTCHA! OVER AND OUT!" _Kevin said.

Edd put the walkie up and looked back at the other kids before Eddy gave them a smile and a "thumbs up". The kids cheered wildly at the fact that they are on the verge of being rescued.

"Maggie, quickly!" Edd said. "Hand me my _Aurora _pistol!"

"You got it!" Maggie said before she walked towards Edd's bag.

As she went through his bag, she heard a low, growling noise. She looked at the emergency exit's window and saw the giant bird glaring at her with its gleaming red eyes! "SCREEEEECH!" the bird shrieked.

"AAAAAAH!" Maggie screamed before she ran up to the front. "AAAAAAH!" the other kids screamed as they joined Eddy and Edd up front.

They stared at the beast as they developed bug-eyes and started sweating.

"_Maggie, did you retrieve my pistol?" _whispered Edd.

"_Sorry! I got scared!" _replied Maggie.

The bird didn't appear to be moving. It just glared at the fourteen adolescent humans. It growled lowly and squinted a little.

"_What's it doin'?" _asked Spencer.

"_I dunno!" _answered Eddy. _"I think it's…challengin' us!" _

"_Big deal!" _said Dylan. _"All we gotta do is grab Double D's pistol, shoot it up in the air, and instant rescue!" _

"_Dude, I think yer forgetting about what happened with the bus driver!" _said Nazz.

"_She's right!" _said Holly. _"That thing'll bust right into this place and pick us off one by one!" _

"_Well, we need to get that gun!" _said Eddy. _"For all we know, Kevin and the guys probably passed us or are further away than we think!"_

"_I'll get it!" _volunteered Nate as he walked to the front of the group. This prompted Brooke to grab his arm and utter, _"Nate!" _as she looked at him in concern. _"I'll be fine!" _he told her before she unwillingly released his arm.

"Careful, man!" Eddy uttered to his friend.

Nate slowly and cautiously walked towards the final seat of the bus, which contained Edd's bag and his _Aurora _pistol. As he got closer, the bird breathed on the glass and growled at him as it glared. He hesitated a little before he went behind a seat. He then started hopping the seats one by one.

"Man, get the damn thing like you got a pair!" teased Twan.

"Man, fuck you!" yelled Nate as he continued forward.

Nate got to the seat before the very last one and saw Edd's bag. He reached for the bag as the bird continued to glare at him. Just then, "SCREEEEEECH!" the bird shrieked before Nate backed up slightly and the bird flew off! Nate looked through the window while the other kids just stood there in shock. Nate swiftly grabbed the bag and ran back to his friends.

"It's gone! It flew away! Here!" Nate said as he handed Edd his bag.

"Good! Now's our chance!" said Eddy.

"Chance to do what?" asked the frightened, yet angered Spencer.

"Whadoya think?" asked the sarcastic Eddy. "To get the hell off of this bus and into a building until Rolf and the guys show up!"

"Are you fuckin' crazy, Eddy?" asked Holly. "How do you know that that thing ain't just waitin' for us?"

"I somewhat doubt that, Holly!" said Edd. "A carnivorous bird of that physical magnitude, as each of us have already witnessed, would have effortlessly absconded with one of us if it desires by this moment!"

"Say what?" said Twan.

"He said if the bird wanted to get one of us right now, it would have already!" translated Maggie. "Think about it! If a bird that size can fry thick-as-hell tires like the ones in the back _and _break through an extremely thick windshield, then what makes you think that it can't bust through the metal roof and pick you out like a freakin' worm?"

"This is comin' from the screenwriters?" Spencer said. "All right let's have a vote! All who wanna stay on this bus and _live_, raise your right hand! And if you wanna sign up for a suicide tactic and step off the bus, raise your left hand!"

Spencer, Holly, the brown-haired boy, the blue-haired girl, the ponytail girl, and the orange-haired boy all raised their right hands while Dylan, Eddy, Nazz, Edd, Maggie, Nate, Brooke, and Twan raised their left hands. Spencer and the other five went back to their seats and shook their respective heads in disappointment. Edd opened the door before Twan, Brooke, Nate, Dylan, Maggie, Nazz, Edd, and Eddy jumped off of the bus in that order. Spencer ran up to the driver's seat and closed the door. As Edd went through his bag, the other kids began looking up into the sky for signs of the bird.

"Quick, the bank!" yelled Nate before he, Twan, Nazz, Brooke, and Eddy ran towards it. Nate tugged on the doors handle, but it appeared to be locked from the inside! "What the-?" Nate exclaimed. Nazz and Brooke unsuccessfully attempted to pry the door open.

"Try the building next to it!" yelled Nate as he continued to pull.

Dylan, Twan, and Eddy ran up to the neighboring building, which was a jewelry store. Dylan and Twan tugged on the door repeatedly, but were unsuccessful as well! Dylan banged his shoulder against the door, but it proved to be a futile effort!

"It's not fuckin' openin'!" yelled Twan.

"I'm tryin', here!" shouted Dylan.

"Outta the way!" yelled Eddy before he tugged on the door. He pulled, tugged, and banged his shoulder against the door repeatedly, but the door just wouldn't budge! He then began karate-kicking the door in an attempt to break it open his own way. "Why the fuck…" KICK! "won't any of these…" KICK! "fuckin' doors…" KICK! "OPEN?"

"I just realized something guys!" said Nazz. "When we came through here, we knocked down a sign that said this place is government property!"

"So?" said Twan.

"So, everything here is gonna be locked so that people _can't_ get in!" said Nazz.

"I've found it!" Edd said before he took out his _Aurora _pistol and a small bullet-like piece of metal. "We'll make it out of here just yet!"

"And not a minute too soon!" said the bug-eyed Dylan as he looked up into the sky and pointed. "LOOK!"

All of the kids looked up into the air and saw the bird perched on top of what appeared to be an old, tall church. It glared at the teens menacingly before it dove off of the building, sprouted its wings, and flew towards them!

"DOUBLE D! SHOOT THE THING!" screamed Maggie! But the young genius was too terrified to remember that he even had the pistol in his hand! "DOUBLE D!"

"RUN FOR IT!" yelled the bug-eyed Eddy.

The kids dispersed and began running all over the town! Maggie grabbed Edd and forced him to drop his pistol and run with her. They would've made a run for the bus, but they were too scared to stop for even a second! Twan ran with Dylan and Brooke, Eddy ran with Nazz, Maggie, and Edd, while Nate was running on his own with the bird right behind him!

"RUN, NATHANIEL! HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!" screamed Dylan.

Nate looked back and developed bug-eyes and signs of tiredness before the bird began reaching for him with its talons!

"NOOOOOO!" screamed Brooke.

"YAHH!" yelled Nate as he dove for the ground and narrowly dodged the bird's feet. Nate then looked to his right and saw Edd's open _Aurora _pistol, which had two _Aurora_ bullets inside and one next to the gun on the ground. Meanwhile, the bird was chasing after the other kids, who regrouped and were running right behind Eddy and Dylan!

"HE'S RIGHT BEHIND US!" shouted the bug-eyed Eddy.

"BREAK OFF! SPREAD OUT! SPREAD OUT!" yelled the bug-eyed Dylan before everyone did so.

"SCREEEEEEEECH!" the bird shrieked before it flew up into the sky out of anger.

Brooke, Twan, Maggie, and Edd ran and hid behind an old theatre, while Eddy, Nazz, and Dylan made a run for the old church with the bird right behind them! Dylan vigorously tugged on the door, but as before, no dice!

"STOP TUGGIN'! YER WASTIN' TIME!" yelled the bug-eyed Nazz.

"WHY DON'T YOU FUCKIN' OPEN IT, THEN?" yelled the bug-eyed Dylan as he tugged and the bird got closer! Just then, Eddy looked to his left and saw a dirty window.

"QUICK!" yelled Eddy before he went into his left pocket, pulled out his money jar, and broke the window with it. "GET IN! GET IN!" he shouted before Dylan and Nazz dove in through the window. The latter stuck her head through the window and noticed that Eddy wasn't coming. He just stood there and stared at the oncoming bird as if it were his sworn enemy.

"EDDY, WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'?" yelled the concerned Nazz. "GET IN HERE!"

Ignoring her emotional order, Eddy continued to stare the bird down, as it got closer and closer. In slow motion, the bird reached for Eddy with its huge talons before he lunged to the right. Just missing the soles of the boy's sneakers, the bird flew smack into the church's large door and fell back first and unconscious on the ground. Eddy stood back up and faced Nazz with a victorious smile.

"See? You worry too much!" Eddy said nonchalantly.

"Yo, guys!" yelled Dylan. "Check out what I found!"

Nazz turned around before Eddy ran up to the window. The teens developed bug-eyes of great surprise when they saw…the unconscious bus driver, Kathryn, and Christian! They were covered in black feathers and were underneath a human-sized hole in the ceiling, which the moonlight shined through.

"Let's get 'em outta here before this thing wakes up!" Eddy said before he dove through the window. On an unspecified one-story building, Nate was seen crawling up the drainpipe with the loaded pistol in his left hand. He stood on the edge of the building and pointed the pistol towards the sky.

"Damn, I hope this works!" Nate yelled before…BANG! He shot an _Aurora _flare into the sky.

* * *

Still on the road, Rolf, Kevin, Ed, and Cody immediately caught wind of the ascending flare before they stopped. Just then, the flare emitted a massive explosion, which covered the entire sky with a beautiful green light. Five seconds later, the light faded away.

"Pretty!" said Ed.

"THAT WAS IT, GUYS! THAT WAS D'S _AURORA_ FLARE GUN! THEY'RE THERE!" shouted the bug-eyed, excited Cody.

"AND IT'S ONLY A MILE AWAY!" yelled Kevin. "ROLF, LET'S GET GOIN'!"

Rolf shifted gears on his tractor before he drove off at great speed.

* * *

Behind the theatre, Edd and the gang were still hiding and were looking straight at the unguarded bus.

"Think we can make it?" asked Brooke.

"Think we got a choice?" asked Twan. "Cuz I really don't!"

Right then, a hand touched Twan's shoulder. The kids turned around and screamed until they saw whom it was…or whom _they _were. It was Eddy with the driver on his shoulder, Dylan with Christian on his shoulder, and Nazz with Kathryn on her shoulder.

"That bird ain't as smart as we are!" said Eddy.

"What now?" asked Dylan.

"We were just about to make a run for the bus!" said Maggie.

"Yes!" added Edd. "It appears as though Nate had successfully sent an _Aurora _flare into the sky! There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Rolf and the other gentlemen have already made the discovery!"

"All right!" said Eddy. "But if we run, we gotta make sure Polly ain't tailin' us!"

The eleven humans stuck their respective heads out and saw that there was no sign of the bird.

"I don't see it!" said Christian.

"Do not be misled, Mr. Downey!" said Edd. "Carnivorous birds are notorious for being cunning predators!"

"So, with that in mind…" started Eddy. "…we gotta get moving…NOW!"

The humans made a run for the bus at normal, but quick speed and looked like they were home free. But right then, right when Nate crawled down the drainpipe, he saw the bird flying right after them!

"RUN GUYS! HE'S RIGHT THERE!" shouted the bug-eyed Nate.

While still running, the humans looked back and screamed as they got closer to the bus and the bird got closer to them! On the bus, Holly and Spencer saw the group running back with the bird tailing them!

"Oh my god! It's them! THEY'RE BACK!" exclaimed Holly.

"And so is that thing!" shouted Spencer.

Holly made a run for the exit handle, but was stopped by Spencer.

"What the hell are you doing?" shouted Holly as Spencer tugged on her arm.

"We can't let them in here! Cuz that thing'll get in here, too!" said Spencer.

"How can you say that?" yelled Holly. "That's our friends out there!"

"Which means they can understand that we wanna live just as badly as they do!" said Spencer.

"FUCK YOU!" yelled Holly.

Holly and Spencer continued to struggle until Holly finally snapped and kicked Spencer in the groin before she punched him in the face! She then walked towards the exit handle and tugged it open before the other humans ran towards the bus at EEnE-speed! The driver, Christian, Edd, Kathryn, Maggie, Nazz, Eddy, and Twan successfully made it on the bus, but Brooke, having looked behind her and saw that the bird was only a hair away from her, ran in another direction!

"BROOKE, WHAT'RE YOU DOIN'?" shouted Nate before he ran towards them both.

Brooke ran around in a circle three times and was still being pursued by the bird! When she ran for the bus again, the bird landed on its feet and began chasing her on foot and appeared to be gaining!

"AAAAAHH!" screamed the terrified Brooke. She was so scared that she didn't even run for the bus' steps, but stopped in front of the bus' side as if she gave up! The bird then lunged itself towards her and she screamed, "AAAAGGGGGGH!". It looked like Brooke was finished until Nate shoved her out of the way and shot the bird in the eye with the _Aurora _pistol! This not only created a massive dose of green light, but it also made the bird lose control and crash into Nate before both bounced against the bus (which tilted on impact) and catapulted off-screen!

"AAAAAGGGGHHH!" Nate screamed before he and the bird landed roughly. On the bus, Eddy opened the door back up before he, Nazz, and Twan jumped off. Nazz was assisting Brooke, while Eddy and Twan ran towards Nate.

"NATE!" Eddy shouted before Nate stood up and replied, "I'M ALRIGHT!" Nate's shirt was now extremely dirty and he had a cut on his forehead, tears in his jeans, and a nasty scab on his left knee. Suddenly, the bird's eyes opened before it got back up and angrily uttered, "SCREEEEEECH!", as it glared at the three boys; particularly Nate!

"SHIT! RUN!" screamed Eddy before he, Twan, and Nate did so. Nazz and Brooke had already got back on and were watching the boys through a window. Eddy and Twan were getting there, but Nate's landing injuries began to slow him down as the bird chased him on foot!

"AAGGHH! AAGGHH! FUCK OFF, TWEETY! AAGGHH!" screamed the bug-eyed Nate as he continued to run! The bird tried to bite Nate's head, but the later dodged to the left. It tried again, but Nate dodged to the right. On the bus steps…

"C'MON, NATE! FASTER! FASTER!" shouted Eddy. But before Nate could pick up speed, the bird screeched as it knocked him against the window that Brooke and Nazz were watching through. Nate landed back first on the ground and attempted to stand up, but the bird jumped in front of him and made him fall out of fear!

"NO!" screamed Brooke as she ran for the door, but was stopped by Dylan and Edd. "LEMME GO!"

The bird evilly glared at Nate and screeched at him victoriously! Nate panted and closed his eyes before the bird lunged its open mouth at him!

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" screamed Nate. But suddenly…WHOOSH! A harpoon with a rope attached at the end flew on-screen from the right and tore threw the bird's left wing!

"SCREEEEEEEECH!" the bird shrieked in pain as it backed away from Nate, who looked to the right in astonishment. The other kids looked to their right too, but saw nothing but fog.

"Stay!" Eddy ordered before he hopped off the bus and stared at the fog. Just then, a huge silhouetted figure with four little figures inside slowly emerged from the fog and revealed themselves to be… the cavalry: Rolf, Ed, Kevin, and Cody! Rolf was seen glaring at the bird while holding onto his harpoon gun. Brooke ran off of the bus and towards Nate before she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around him in emotional relief. She then put Nate's head on her lap before…

"Large-in-the-jowl Kevin boy! Maintain Rolf's harpoon gun into position so that he may slay the beast without interruption!" Rolf ordered before he picked up his two other harpoons. "Conveniently-muscular Ed boy, assist Rolf!" he said as he handed Ed a harpoon.

Both boys hopped off of the tractor and walked towards the bird, which was pecking at the harpoon until it saw the boys.

"Don't waste yer time, Polly!" said Ed. "Might as well come quietly!"

"Yes! For it is well over time for you to meet your clan, winged fiend from another era!" Rolf shouted before he drew his left arm back and prepared to throw it at the bird's heart.

The bird responded only by shrieking and taking to the sky! This caused Rolf's harpoon gun to frequently run out of rope as the bird got higher and higher!

"KEVIN BOY! RETRACT ROLF'S HARPOON!" yelled Rolf after he turned around. Kevin tried ever so hard, but his own strength was no match for the bird's! "I'M TRYIN'! I'M TRYIN'! BUT I AIN'T GETTIN' IT BACK!" yelled the bug-eyed Kevin.

Eddy saw this and noticed that since the bird was stronger, it would easily yank the gun right out of tractor!

"BRO! YOU GOTTA LET GO OF THAT!" Eddy yelled. But Kevin didn't listen. He kept on tryin' to get the harpoon back.

"ROLF, TELL 'IM TO LET GO! HE'LL RIP BOTH HIM AND YER GUN RIGHT OUTTA THE GODDAMN-"

Eddy was interrupted when his unfinished sentence became a reality and the bird ripped the gun out of the tractor and took the still-hanging-on Kevin with it!

"WOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Kevin as he flew up into the sky along with the bird.

"HANG ON, KEV!" shouted Cody.

At great speed, the bird started to fly low as Kevin continued to scream hysterically. His hands began slipping off of the gun finger by finger until…

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Kevin before he landed back first on the bus' roof. Although Kevin fell, the harpoon remained inside the bird's wing, while still being attached to the gun. The moment the bird flew lower, the gun hit the ground and was dragging across it before Eddy did a front flip, grabbed it, and yanked the harpoon right out of the bird's wing before it (the bird) swung it's feet out in front and flew towards Ed and Rolf!

"INCOMING!" the bug-eyed Ed shouted before he dove for the ground. The bird flew over Ed and pinned Rolf to the ground after he unsuccessfully tried to throw the harpoon at the bird! The beast then ate Rolf's harpoon and swallowed it whole before it screeched at him in anger!

"ED! KEEP 'IM BUSY!" Eddy yelled as he winded the harpoon gun up at EEnE-speed. Ed saluted to Eddy before he (Ed) picked up his harpoon, ran up behind the bird, and slammed the harpoon right in its back!

"SCREEEEEEEEECH!" the bird shrieked in pain as it released Rolf, who rolled around in pain.

The bird threw itself around like a bull in an attempt to throw Ed off of its back. The bird then continuously rammed its own back against the bus and in the process broke many of the windows and made the people inside duck in cover! After the tenth attempt, the bird successfully got Ed off of its back before he fell down and apparently into unconsciousness. It turned around and looked down at Ed in anger before it screeched at him. Just then, Nate, who was standing by the tractor with his arm around Brooke and Twan's shoulders, shot the last _Aurora _flare at the bird before it turned it's attention to Eddy, who was almost done reloading the gun.

"GOOD JOB! NOW, GET ON THE TRACTOR!" ordered Eddy as he continued to wind up the gun.

The bird got a good look at what Eddy was doing and noticed the harpoon!

"SCREEEEEEEEEECH!" shrieked the enraged bird. It then lunged itself at Eddy as he attempted to put the harpoon into place! Seeing the bird, Eddy fearfully struggled with putting the harpoon into the gun! Right when the bird opened its mouth and screeched, Eddy stopped trying and closed his eyes out of fear. Right before the bird could bite Eddy's small nose, it (the bird) suddenly stopped in midair! Eddy looked behind the bird and saw Ed using his trademark strength to hold the bird back by keeping a firm grip on it's tail feathers!

"That all you got, birdie-boy?" taunted Ed with a smile. Which caused Holly to look down at him in adoration!

Taking advantage of this, Eddy put the harpoon into the portable gun and aimed it at the bird as it continued to try and free itself! The bird then tried to fly upwards, but was still no match for Ed's strength! Eddy then pointed the gun directly at the bird's heart before…

"TWEET TWEET, BASTARD!" yelled Eddy before he shot the harpoon at the bird in slow motion. The harpoon pierced the bird's heart before it uttered an agonizing screech. Ed then slammed the bird onto the ground before it closed it's eyes and uttered one final screech. The adults and the kids walked off of the bus and stared at the bird and wondered "Is it really dead?". Ed ran up to Eddy before they gave each other a high-then-low five. Eddy then ran up to the tractor and climbed to the top of it before he looked at Nate, who was lying on Brooke's shoulder.

"Wait to go, hero!" Eddy congratulated.

"What're you talkin' about?" Nate asked with a smile. "_You_ killed the freak!"

"That wouldn't have been the case if you hadn't risked your own life to save Brooke and got the guys over here sooner." said Eddy with a smile. "You… out of all of us…are the hero! And what every hero deserves…is a reward!" he finished as he looked at Brooke with a smile.

"But also…something more!" Nate said as he looked at Brooke with a smile as Brooke did the same with Nate. The two embraced and long-kissed each other on the lips under the proud eyes of their friends.

"AWWWWWWWWW!" Nazz, Holly, and Maggie exclaimed emotionally before the Cherry Falls Police Department (CDPD) arrived in ten cars and a helicopter. The kids and the chaperones cheered, while Nate and Brooke continued to make out until the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened the next day in Rolf's unchanged room, where Rolf himself was seen putting the bird's head on a wooden trophy above his bed with Eddy, Ed, and Kevin (who had a cast on his left leg) stood there and watched.

"Y'know, most guys have posters of girls above their bed's!" said Kevin. "Dude's got Tweety's head on his!"

"Rolf always acquires the head of the prey of which he successfully hunts! Hero's prize, yes?" Rolf said with a smile.

"But you ain't kill that thing!" said Ed. "And you ain't the hero! Nate is!"

"By the way, where is that guy?" asked Kevin.

"Let's just say that he and his new redheaded bombshell are…starting some official business!" answered Eddy with smile.

* * *

The screen cut to the inside of Nate's room, where Brooke was seen on top of Nate while both were lying on the bed and making out! Nate was shirtless while Brooke was merely pants-less. She was wearing her red panties. She and Nate sat up before the former slowly took off her shirt and revealed her red bra once more! She smiled at Nate lovingly with the latter doing the same.

"You did say you liked red!" said Brooke.

"Yeah…I did!" Nate said as he rubbed a little of Brooke's hair between his fingers and smiled.

Brooke pushed Nate flat on the bed and off-screen before she herself bent off-screen. The two giggled before the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 5**

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* * *

****Did you know: The scientific name for our winged antagonist "Vircomer Pajaro" in real life literally translates to "Man-Eating bird". "Vir" is Latin for "Man", "Comer" is Spanish for "Eating", and "Pajaro" is Spanish for "Bird". Also, I hope you don't mind me having Eddy kill the bird instead of Rolf or something. But I figured that since Eddy hates birds more than any other character, I thought is was appropriate. Plus, whether you noticed it or not, this first season of "Edolescence" is half over! So, expect to see my epic Gourd prequel soon! **

**

* * *

****Title reference: Free as a bird **


	11. Don't push your Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's note: **Sorry for the long wait, fans! It's not easy doing end-of-the-year projects and having a part-time job all at once. Plus, my computer crashed, so I had to take my work on the road. And hopefully, you guys were able to use the time I was absent to get used to my new name as well as focus on your other stuff. In addition to this episode's plot, I have decided to explore the Ed/Bombshell (that's my collective name for this series' hottest and most popular girls: Holly, Maggie, and Nazz) pairings before they become official later on. (By the way, in order to prevent future confusion, pay attention to the dialect between the Eds and the bombshells, but DON'T think for a second that they are couples!) Anyway, please enjoy and publicly review episode 6!

**

* * *

****EPISODE 6: DON'T PUSH YOUR ED **

* * *

The screen opened up in Kevin's basement, where Kevin himself, Nate, and Eddy were playing poker with only the ceiling's light bulb shining on the round table. There was a small pile of money in the middle of the table. Each boy had some cards in their respective hands and was looking at each other as well as their cards. Eddy sat there with a confident look on his face while the other boys looked casual. All three boys were wearing their respective sweaters/hoodies.

"Well?" Kevin uttered with a grin. "You gonna show or fold?"

"Chill, Kev!" said Eddy as he looked at his (Eddy's) cards. "You might wish you hadn't said that once ya see my hand!"

"Hope you got a better hand than no-skill Bennett here!" Kevin joked.

"Hey!" Nate angrily replied.

"Hate to be the guy to tell ya this, but he's right!" said Eddy. "If you wanna take Brooke out to Red Lobster tonight, you gotta push yer luck to the limit!"

"Red Lobster?" repeated Kevin. "That place is steep, man! Why dont'cha take her to Golden Corral or somethin'?"

"Cuz my mom works there!" Nate replied. "When I was with Nazz, my head-chef mom kept on sendin' waiters to my table!"

"But that's an all-you-can-eat buffet!" Eddy grinned. "Most of the food there you just grab with yer own freakin' hand!"

"You wanna tell her that?" Nate asked with an annoyed tone. "Anyway, let's get back to the game."

"You mean _my_ game!" Kevin smirked as he slammed his three kings on the table.

"That all ya got? Read 'em and weep!" asked Nate before he slammed his four aces onto the table. He reached for the cash before Eddy knocked his hand away!

"Speak for yerself! Game's mine, baby!" Eddy smirked as he slammed five aces onto the table and pulled in the cash before he put it all in his bag!

"DAMMIT!" Nate yelled as he banged his fists on the table and Kevin angrily uttered, "GOD!"

"Just do us all a favor and don't go to Las Vegas, all right?" Eddy laughed.

"Aw, this sucks!" exclaimed Nate. "What am I gonna tell Brooke?"

"Yer gonna tell 'er that it's dinner at yer mom's place, tonight!" Eddy joked.

"I ain't goin' back to _that_ Golden Corral!" Nate yelled.

"Wasn't talkin' 'bout that place, dude!" joked Eddy. "Why don't chu buy some popcorn and cherry coke and watch Transformers 2 in your bedroom? Least you'll get lucky there! And I'll get lucky here!" he tapped his backpack.

"You might run out tomorrow!" Kevin smirked.

"You know I don't believe in that Friday the 13th bullshit! Get real!" Eddy replied before he ran up the basement stairs.

Outside of Kevin's house and on the curb, Ruben sat in the front seat of his black GMC Acadia and was wearing a brown toupee instead of the black one he had on in **How to catch an Ed**. Ruben repeatedly blew the horn before Eddy ran out of Kevin's house and to the car.

"Took ya long enough, slug!" joked Ruben.

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Whatever!" Eddy smiled as he got into the shotgun seat of the car. "Now, let's go! Go! GO!" he said excitedly before father and son drove off-screen.

* * *

The screen transitioned to the front of "Comic Tavern" (**Get your Ed in the game**) before the Gates' Acadia drove right by it. Outside of Comic Tavern was the Kankers, who stared at Ed as he wiped the front counter! But Ed did not know that they were out there. Not even when May was breathing heavily on the glass with a lustful look on her face.

"I just love working men!" May panted.

"Then you better make him work for you in the bedroom!" joked Marie.

"Well, what're you waiting for?" asked Lee. "Go get 'im while he's hot!"

May excitedly nodded her head and just before she could touch the door, Holly drove up to the Tavern's parking lot and parked next to Ed's Infiniti G sedan in her burnt orange Chevy Cobalt. She emerged from her car and ran threw the doors with a big smile on her face. The Kankers looked through the door's window and saw Holly approach the still-wiping Ed. Behind Ed was his picture and the words "Employee of the Month" engraved on the frame.

"Ahem!" Holly cleared her throat affectionately before Ed looked up and developed a smile of his own!

"Hey, you!" Ed said after he ceased wiping. "What's on yer mind?"

"I just wanted to know if you were coming to "Barr Carnival" tomorrow!" asked Holly.

"Don't we have school tomorrow?" Ed asked.

"No silly!" Holly laughed. "Tomorrow's "Teachers' Workday"! Remember?"

"Oh, right!" Ed grinned in embarrassment. "Well, I dunno, Holly! Carnivals aren't really my cup of tea!"

"Oh, c'mon!" begged Holly. "Everyone's doing something with somebody and I don't wanna be a lonely girl! Cuz then the mimes'll start hitting on me! Besides, it'll be the last day the Carnival's open until it closes and reopens next year! So, please! For me?" before she affectionately began to rub on Ed's eyebrow with her index finger!

Outside of the store, May was red with anger while her eye pupils caught on fire!

"You gonna let that orange-haired skank steal yer man?" Marie asked May.

Right when May was about to break the door down, Lee subdued her.

"Are you crazy? There's security cameras in there!" Lee lectured. "Wait till the bitch comes out before you lash out at 'er!"

As soon as May calmed down, Lee released her before they all continued to look into the store.

"Oh, all right! I'll go!" Ed agreed with a smile. "For both you and my buds! Mostly you though!"

Just then, a blonde man in his late twenties walked out from the back and approached the front desk. He was wearing the same uniform as Ed, but his nametag read, "Matt".

"O.k., kid! Yer shift's over!" Matt said as he typed on the front desk's computer. "Grab yer free comic and have a good night!"

"Thanks, Matt!" Ed replied as he grabbed his off-screen jacket from behind him and put it on. Ed typed on the computer for a little bit before a receipt that read "Edward Fuller: Clocking out" came out. He grabbed it, balled it up, and stored it in his pocket before he looked at Holly as he grabbed a comic that read "Red Shadow" and put it in his pocket. "Let's go!"

The teens walked outside of the door and headed for their respective cars before…

"SLUT!" screamed May as she lunged at Holly.

May tackled Holly on top of her own hood and began strangling her!

"HOLLY!" yelled Ed as he reached for Holly. But Lee and Marie grabbed his arms and kept him from getting in the way!

"LET GO OF ME…BITCH!" Holly screamed before she double-kicked May off of her and made her hit her head on the comic store's wall!

Seeing their sister down, Lee and Marie angrily slammed Ed into the brick wall before they both charged at Holly! The latter braced herself for impact before both Kankers tackled her to the ground!

"NO!" screamed the enraged Ed before he ripped himself out of the wall and took off his jacket.

Lee and Marie each twisted one of Holly's arms behind her back and held her head against her own car's hood.

"We don't tolerate whores!" said Lee.

"Especially violent ones!" added Marie. "So, yer gonna-AAAAHH"

Marie failed to finish her sentence when Holly kicked her in the shin and made her release her! Holly then stood up and threw Lee away from her! Holly stared down both of the Kankers before they lunged at her! But just then, Ed's jacket wrapped the two girls up before Ed himself yanked them towards him and slammed them into the recovered May! Ed then turned around and angrily stared at them!

"TOUCH HER AGAIN! I DARE YOU BIMBOS TO TOUCH HER AGAIN!" growled Ed. Lee and Marie quivered in fear while May just stood there with a turned-on look on her face! "I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EVEN LOOK AT HOLLY FUNNY, I WILL DROP A HOUSE SO BIG ON TOP OF YOU, THAT NOT EVEN YOUR MOM'LL RECOGNIZE YOU! NOW, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

Frightened and led by May, Lee and Marie fled Ed's sight. As they ran, May looked back at Ed and just smiled! Ed turned around and looked Holly, who just stared at him in admiration. No boy had ever been that protective of her.

"You okay?" Ed asked his friend.

"Y-yeah!" Holly replied with a smile. "I sure am lucky having you around!"

"Yup!" Ed said as he blushed. "Are you okay enough to drive?"

"Mmm-hmm!" Holly smiled with a nod.

"Then let's get outta here!" said Ed.

Ed and Holly respectively got into their Infiniti G sedan and Chevy Cobalt before they both pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

On an unknown street, the Gates' Acadia had just now passed a sign that read "Bones' Used Car dealership". Inside the car…

"Dad, you just missed the used car dealership!" Eddy noticed.

"No son of mine's gettin' a piece of crap used car!" Ruben smirked. "Especially when I got lucky with closing a sale for a house in Flavorcrest Hills!"

"Don't mess with me, man!" the excited Eddy looked at his dad! "_You_ were able to sell a house in of all places: Flavorcrest Hills? The most expensive neighborhood in Peach Creek?"

"Yep!" Ruben smiled proudly. "It was a mansion too! I'm practically spoilin' ya! The car is gonna take up most of my paycheck along with half of yer brother's college fund!"

"What about the other half?" Eddy asked.

"You still gotta go to college don't you?" Ruben looked at his son.

Father and son drove up to "Caesar's wheels", which had all kinds of vehicles! The dealership was a huge, one-story building with big transparent glass windows. The excited Eddy uttered, "Oh, this is great dad! I love ya for this! And for other stuff that ain't as important as what's happenin' right now!"

"Just don't expect me to replace any wheels!" Ruben joked before he parked the Acadia.

Inside the building, Malcolm (**What an Ed wants**) was sitting at a desk and watched as Ruben and Eddy got out of the Acadia via the transparent glass window.

"Oh, I don't believe it!" Malcolm said excitedly as he stood up and walked out of his desk area. Outside, Ruben and Eddy were walking towards the building with the former having a black suitcase in his left hand.

"You think they have my dream car?" asked Eddy.

"What, a Chevy Camaro?" asked Ruben as Eddy nodded. "This place has a helluva lot more hot-looking cars! Why would you-"

"Ruben!" Malcolm greeted with a smile.

"Malcolm!" greeted Ruben before the men gave each other a high-five/handshake.

"Lookin' for somethin' new?" said Malcolm.

"I'm actually here to buy a car for Spike here!" Ruben said as he touched Eddy's hair spikes.

"Oh, hey Eddy!" Malcolm said as he shook the boy's hand. "Man, yer startin' to look more like yo dad everyday. You look like him durin' our high school graduation!"

"High school?" Eddy repeated. "I thought you guys were just college roommates!"

"How could you think that after we've invited him over as many times as we have in the past?" Ruben asked.

"Hey, once you turn 13 in this generation, everything about mom, dad, and their friends is just "Say what?" Now, let's get down to business!" Eddy ranted before the screen shifted to the left side of the building, which had different mustangs of all colors.

"We've got Traxes, Malibus, Silverados, Corvettes! You name it, we got it!" Malcolm said as they walked.

"Got anything under forty grand?" asked Ruben.

"Like a Camaro?" asked Eddy.

"Eddy!" Ruben said sternly.

"As a matter of fact, we do have a Camaro!" said Malcolm. "Only one left though! In silver!"

"Lemme see! Lemme see!" Eddy excitedly demanded.

Next to a white Chevy silverado was a silver Chevy Camaro. Eddy got on his knees and stared at the tires in admiration. He bit his lip in excitement before he stood up and looked at his dad with a bug-eyed smile.

"That goofy smile says everything!" joked Ruben. "Just like yer mother when she told me how much she gets paid now! All right, how much?" he put his suitcase on the hood.

"$37,050!" answered Malcolm.

"Darn it!" Ruben exclaimed before he opened the suitcase. "I'm fifty bucks short!"

"No problem, dad!" Eddy said as he put his backpack in front of him and unzipped it. He went inside and pulled out all of his basement poker winnings! He handed them to Malcolm, who quickly counted it.

"Well, whadoya know!" said Malcolm. "Paid in full! Plus a dollar!"

"No offense Mr. Bennett, but I think Nate needs to have his allowance stripped until he gets some skills!" joked Eddy.

"Here you are!" Malcolm laughed as he handed Eddy the key to the Camaro. The latter snatched the key away out of excitement before he looked at his dad! "Y'know! You are one lucky kid conveniently having money at this point!"

"I know, right?" agreed the bug-eyed Eddy.

"So, Spike! Tell me!" Ruben smirked. "You think you have what it takes to beat your old man in a race? I know a route we can take that's cop-free!"

"Yer so on!" Eddy accepted before the screen shifted to an unknown street and Ruben's Acadia and Eddy's Camaro was seen racing down it while both drivers screamed, "WHOOOO!"

* * *

In the junkyard, Edd and Maggie were working on the cruiser while Cody sat on top of the retro van's hood and slurped on a bottle of grape soda. Maggie worked on the vehicle's engine while Edd worked underneath the vehicle. Edd emerged from underneath the vehicle with oil on his face and shirt.

"Guys, it is now secure to say that the necessary repairs to the cruiser's engine have been successfully implemented!" Edd smiled before he closed the hood.

"'Bout time you finished your end of the bargain, dude!" said Cody. "Sucks that we had to gut the transformation features, though!"

"Bargain?" Maggie closed the hood. "I thought you guys work together on all high-tech stuff?"

"Nah!" replied Cody. "I've been workin' on this thing since we were 5! All D did was give me what I needed since he didn't understand advanced tech til three years back!"

"Yet, that does not keep him from opening his modest heart and citing credit for the both of us!" added Edd.

Maggie opened the driver's door and pulled down the ignition lever before the cruiser started up! Both Cody and Edd stared at her with the latter having his jaw dropped!

"What?" Maggie innocently smiled. "I can't have a genius-level I.Q. like you guys _and _be popular?"

Just then, Maggie's cell phone rang before she pulled it out of her left pocket and saw that it was a text. She looked at it before she looked at the boys.

"Dinnertime! Gotta go!" Maggie said before she turned around and began to walk out.

"Maggie!" Edd ran up behind Maggie, who turned around and smiled at him. "I-I…" he stuttered as he sweated. "…j-just wanted to…" he gulped as she raised her left eyebrow. "…tell you that I…look forward to seeing you at the carnival tomorrow!"

"Just make sure you wash your clothes tonight, grease monkey!" Maggie replied as she stroked Edd's three chin hairs. She turned around and walked off-screen before Edd stared at her with a saddened facial expression. Cody then walked up behind him.

"Man, how is it possible to be both lucky and unlucky?" Cody asked with a smirk.

"Pardon?" Edd replied.

"You know what I mean!" Cody said. "A smokin' hot babe with a knack for creatin' technology is into you, but you can't seem to use what you call "manhood" to break the ice!"

"I haven't found the appropriate time or place to do so!" justified Edd.

"That was your excuse for the last eleven times you tried and bolted!" Cody responded as Edd folded his arms and frowned. "Look D. It's been almost a month since you and Sarah broke up. And since yer over her, I think it's time for you to move on! Guys like you shouldn't stay single!"

"You're suggesting that I must gain some much-needed testicular courage if I wish to obtain Maggie's heart." Said Edd.

"As yer cousin and friend, I have to say that that is somethin' you gotta list as a priority!" added Cody. "Cuz if you don't, someone will and yer outta luck! Now, let's get outta here!"

Cody walked towards the cruiser while Edd just stood there and thought about what his cousin had just said.

* * *

Near the cul-de-sac, Nazz and Jonny were jogging on the sidewalk. Nazz had her hair in a ponytail and was wearing a purple sports bra, black jogging pants, and her usual sneakers. Jonny was wearing a white V-neck T-shirt, blue jogging shorts, and his usual sneakers. Nazz was pumped full of energy and was not sweaty at all while Jonny felt quite the opposite and looked like he was about to pass out!

"Don't you…_gasp_…normally do this…_wheeze_…with Holly and Maggie?" Jonny panted.

"Yeah, but they had stuff to do and I hate running alone!" replied Nazz. "Now, pick up the pace! This the best you got? I thought you were an athlete!" she taunted.

"I-I was!" Jonny answered. "But I had to…_wheeze_…quit because Plank and I got…_wheeze_…jobs at "Kramer Kreme donut shop"!"

"Donut shop?" Nazz repeated. "That changes everything! 3 more runs around the block! Now, come on!" she and the unwilling Jonny ran faster.

"Those tight glutes of hers are the only thing keepin' me goin' too, buddy!" Jonny said to Plank.

"Let's go, Jonny!" urged Nazz. "It's not like I'm asking you to race me or somethin'!"

Just then, Ruben's Acadia and Eddy's Camaro zipped right past the jogging teens with the Camaro being the first to reach the Gates' house! The garage's door slowly opened just as father and son emerged from their respective vehicles. Nazz and Jonny ran down the sidewalk to see what was going on.

"Better luck next time, Jeff Gordon!" Eddy taunted Ruben.

"Not bad…for a teenager!" Ruben replied before he got back inside and drove his Acadia into the house. Right before Eddy could do the same, Nazz and Jonny approached him.

"Cool car, Eddy!" complemented Nazz. "And it looks like you already broke it in!"

"Yep!" replied the smiling Eddy. "No more backseat drivin' for this guy!"

"Hey, Eddy!" started Jonny. "Since you got a hot ride now, you won't be needin' yer motorcycle anymore, right?"

"Y'know what? Yer right, Jonny-boy!" Eddy said before he turned towards his garage, reached off-screen EEnE-style, and put his Suzuki Hayabusa (**How to Catch an Ed**) right in front of him. "And since I'm in such a good mood right now, I'm willin' to let you take care of her free of charge!"

"NO FOOLIN'?" the excited Jonny exclaimed as Nazz stood there in surprise.

"But, being a member of the Gates family and therefore having the hereditary urge to make money, let me tell you that this is a limited-time offer!" Eddy smirked. "In short, if the bike's not gone in three seconds, I'm inclined to charge you! 1! 2!"

Jonny hopped onto the motorcycle with a huge grin on his face!

"WE CAN KISS THAT OL' SCOOTER GOOD-BYE NOW, BUDDY!" Jonny yelled at Plank before they drove off-screen; leaving only Nazz and Eddy.

"Heh! Probably gonna use his employee discount at Kramer Kreme!" scoffed Eddy with a grin.

"And gain some pounds that I probably helped him lose!" Nazz sternly added as she swung her hip.

"Little donut's not gonna hurt nobody!" Eddy said. "_You _look like you could use somethin' for that toned stomach of yers! Wanna eat dinner at my place?"

"Nah!" Nazz answered. "I just remembered that I gotta get home and cook since my parents aren't there enough to do it anymore!"

"Breakfast tomorrow mornin', then!" Eddy suggested. "Make you the best dam ham n' cheese omelet in yer life! Whadoya say? The other Eds'll be there!"

"Okay!" Nazz smiled. "I'll bring Holly and Maggie!"

"Sweet! Triple date!" Eddy grinned. "I'll buy some vodka!"

"Don't push your luck, Eddy!" Nazz smiled.

"No promises, sweetheart!" joked Eddy before he got back in his car and started it up. He drove it into the garage just as Nazz ran off screen. As soon as the garage door closed, the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened the following morning in Eddy's kitchen, where Eddy himself was cooking four omelets at once, Edd was neatly putting plates, knives, and forks on the table, and Ed, who had a horseshoe on a chain around his neck, put a 4-leaf clover next to each plate. Edd just stood there confused as he picked one up.

"A quadruple-leaf shamrock?" Edd asked. "Oh come now, Ed! Surely you don't believe in the preposterous folklore that surrounds the 13th day of the 6th day, do you?"

"Shh!" Ed shushed Edd. "You'll jinx us! Quick! Put this on!" Ed put a horseshoe-on-a-chain around Edd's neck. "It'll protect you!"

"From what? A ladder kicked by a horse?" joked Eddy as he put two omelets on two plates. "Seriously, Ed! You don't really believe in that bad luck bullshit, do you? I mean, c'mon! 7 years of bad luck if you break a mirror? How lame!"

"That's bullshit what you just said, Eddy!" Ed continued. "Everyone thinks bad luck is measured in years when it actually lasts…"

"Whatever!" Eddy interrupted. "Just don't be puttin' those horseshoes on the girls when they get here!"

"You just don't have faith in good luck charms like you used to, huh Eddy?" Ed asked.

"No, I make my own luck!" Eddy replied as he put the last two omelets on two plates. "As does everybody else in my family that's got Irish blood! Now, grab some sodas!"

* * *

Meanwhile in Nazz's bedroom, the bombshells were quickly prettying themselves up in front of Nazz's mirror in prep for their breakfast with the Eds. Nazz was sitting down and combing her hair, Holly was curling her eyelashes, and Maggie was putting make-up powder on her face.

"Okay girls, remember!" Nazz started. "No flirting! This is just breakfast!"

"Whadoya mean, "no flirting"?" Holly stopped curling her eyelashes. "It's the boys you gotta keep your eye on! One look at my chest and Ed'll be lookin' for a different type of breakfast! By the way, remind me to tell Eddy that if he has any expensive or fine china on his table, he should get it outta the way fast!"

"No, Nazz is right, Holly!" Maggie said. "We should save it for the carnival, tonight! When they get full off of junk-food and need nursing!"

"You mean when _Double D _needs nursing!" replied Nazz. "Dude can't even go up a roller coaster hill without taking a heave!"

"Well, Eddy can't help but spend less than $15 on someone he doesn't go out with!" Maggie retaliated.

"True!" Nazz said as she and her fellow bombshells put lipstick on. Once done… "Let's go girls!"

Holly and Maggie headed for the door as Nazz put her lipstick in her purse. As she walked by it, her purse titled slightly before it fell and her lipstick, a comb, an eye-lining pencil, and a small make-up mirror fell out with the latter breaking on impact!

"Was that the sound of a mirror breaking?" the bug-eyed Holly suddenly turned around.

"Yeah. Why so freaked out?" Nazz replied as she picked her stuff up.

""Why so freaked out?"?" repeated Holly. "You break a mirror on a day like today and that's all you can say?"

"What are you tal—Oh no!" Maggie slapped her forehead. "Please tell that you don't believe in that Friday the 13th crap! Holly, just because your parents are superstitious, it doesn't mean that you-"

Maggie was interrupted when Nazz's huge mirror suddenly fell down and shattered before the girls all shrieked!

"You guys head over to Eddy's place!" Holly panicked. "I gotta head home real quick!" she rushed out the door before Nazz and Maggie looked at each other and then at the mirror.

* * *

In Eddy's kitchen, Eddy himself was seen cooking one big omelet as he stood next to a broken egg on the floor. As Eddy sprinkled brown and orange seasoning on the omelet, Ed walked up behind him while Edd covered the other omelets on the table.

"Aw, how come you get the extra meaty one?" Ed envied.

"You may be a big guy Ed, but I'm the big man here!" Eddy replied.

"But I'm the working man here!" Ed argued.

"Quit whinin'!" Eddy turned around. "Yo Double D! Toss me the salt!"

Edd grabbed the table salt and tossed it to Eddy, who caught it as Ed yelled, "CAREFUL!" in a booming voice that caused Eddy to lose his grip for a moment! Eddy caught the salt and angrily glared at Ed.

"Yer bein' an idiot! Go sit down!" ordered Eddy before he walked to the right and slipped on the broken egg and unintentionally threw the salt!

"NOOOOOOO!" Ed screamed in slow motion as he dove for the ground in an attempt to catch the salt! Ultimately… the salt escaped Ed's hand and fell to the floor! But it did not break nor did any salt spill out! Ed saw this and uttered a heavy sigh of relief. But suddenly, the top fell off and a whole bunch of salt spilled out!

"SPILLED SALT! BAD LUCK!" yelled the bug-eyed Ed as he sprung himself up! He ran towards the exit doorway, but Eddy stretched his arm out EEnE style and pulled him back before he uttered, "WHAT'D I SAY? YER BEIN' AN IDIOT AGAIN! THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS BAD LUCK ON FRIDAY THE 13TH!"

Just then, the fire underneath the omelet mysteriously intensified exponentially before it returned to normal!

"What the-?" Eddy turned around before his doorbell rang twice and Edd yelled, "I'll get it!" as he walked into the living room. He answered the door and saw Nazz and Maggie.

"Salutations, ladies!" Edd greeted before he noticed that Holly was missing. "Where's Holly?"

"Out getting charms!" Nazz rolled her eyes as she and Maggie walked in.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake!" Edd slapped his forehead. "Not her t-"

"Hey, Double D!" Holly suddenly ran into the house with a plastic bag in her hand. In the kitchen, Holly had just now walked in front of Ed, Eddy, Nazz, and Maggie before… "Okay, one charm per person! Take your pick!"

"I'm good as it is, Holly! Look! Horseshoe necklace…" Ed went into his shirt and pulled out a fish's skeleton on a necklace-rope. "My way-more-than-lucky fishy, Angus Jr…" Ed went into his left jacket pocket and pulled out a moldy piece of Swiss cheese! "…and my third-times-the-charm-themed lucky cheese chunk, Sheldon the third!" Ed finished before Edd walked in and groaned in disgust along with Eddy, Nazz, and Maggie.

"Good job, big guy!" Holly complemented. "I've got my lucky panties…" Holly exposed her blue panties by stretching them out. "…my little brother's lucky soccer ball…" she pulled it out of the bag and showed the others. "…my mom's lucky silver watch. One of them, anyway…" she showed it to them. "…and my dad's lucky golf club!" she took out a golf club.

"All right, that's ENOUGH!" Eddy yelled before he slapped the club out of Holly's hand. It flew up into the air and headed towards Eddy's omelet! As Eddy yelled "I AM TELLIN' YOU FOR THE LAST TIME, " the club hit the pan's handle and catapulted the piping hot omelet towards the group! Eddy continued yelling, "THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS…", as Ed turned around angrily and developed bug-eyes when he saw the…

"KILLER OMELET! DUCK!" Ed yelled before he ducked. The omelet flew over Ed and zoomed right passed Holly, Eddy, and Nazz. Unfortunately, Maggie didn't see the omelet in time to avoid it and was therefore hit in the face by it before the screen faded to black!

* * *

The screen reopened in Edd's room, which had the same emergency room look it did in **One size fits Ed**. Only this time, there was only one medical bed and Maggie was resting in it while having bandages wrapped around her head. Edd (who was dressed like a doctor) was monitoring her and was writing something down on his clipboard. He looked at her in concern before he closed the curtain. Outside, Eddy, Ed, Nazz, and Holly were sitting at Edd's picnic table before Edd himself came out.

"So what's up, McCoy?" asked Eddy.

"She's resting." Edd replied. "I gave her some sleeping medications in order to save her the additional pain of a vaccination recommended by mother!"

"Is there anything we can do for her?" Nazz asked.

"Medically, I have everything in a secure order!" Edd answered. "Yet, I think what she desires when she awakens is one of her most favored substances!"

"Mint-Chocolate chip milkshakes!" Nazz, Holly, and Edd said in unison.

"I was gonna head down to "The Shakedown" later today! I'll pick one up!" Eddy said as he stood up.

"I'll come with you!" said Nazz as she stood up. "I wanna make sure it's specialized!"

"Are you guys crazy?" Holly asked. "That place is as much a bad-luck trap as Eddy's house!"

"Oh, God! Will you stop with this bullshit?" the annoyed Eddy said to Holly.

"Seriously, Holly!" Nazz added. "This isn't the time!"

"The hell it isn't!" Ed angrily justified. "Maggie gettin' third degree burns was the first strike! A warning! A way of tellin' us that if we don't take action, we'll get somethin' worse!"

"I'll give ya somethin' worse if you don't stop bein' stupid!" Eddy got in Ed's face!

"You of all people should believe in this so-called bullshit, Eddy!" Ed argued.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eddy grinded his teeth.

"You know exactly what it means Mr. "This stupid phone's cursed"!" Ed continued.

"ENOUGH!" Edd angrily intervened. "Honestly! A friend is in need and you choose to have an argument over absurd and superstitious mythology now?"

Everyone paused for a moment of silence before Eddy broke it by uttering, "He's right! So, I'll go get the shake while Fuller here finds time to get a clue! Let's go, Nazz!"

Eddy and Nazz angrily walked towards Edd's exit fence as Ed and Holly watched; angered at the fact that their own friends refused to believe them.

"C'mon, Holly! Help me safe-proof my house like you did yours!" Ed said before he and Holly walked back into the house. Edd shook his head in frustration as he held his forehead.

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to an unknown street, where Eddy and Nazz had just now drove down the street in the former's Camaro.

"I can't believe those two!" Nazz said as she thought about Ed and Holly's beliefs. "Maggie's in a fucked-up position right now and all they can think about are those damn urban legends! And then Ed had the nerve to get in your face about something stupid like a cursed telephone? Even for a guy like him, that's weird and low!"

Eddy didn't respond. He just continued to concentrate on the road as he thought about what Ed said.

"Dude, are you alright?" Nazz asked, but Eddy still didn't respond. "Hello? Earth to Eddy!"

"Can I ask you somethin', Nazz?" Eddy asked.

"Yeah, sure!" she replied.

"I don't believe in Friday the 13th any more than you do, but…do you get this feeling that weird things happen right after somethin' normal happens?"

"What are you saying?" Nazz asked.

"Before you and the other bombshells showed up, I…accidentally spilled some salt." started Eddy. "And not too long afterwards, you, me, and the others saw that omelet go smack into Maggie's face! But like I said, I don't believe in Friday the 13th !"

Nazz put herself into a thinking position before she uttered, "Now that I think about it…I accidentally broke my make-up mirror and right after…my bigger mirror suddenly broke! It was so weird!"

"Too weird to be a coincidence!" Eddy said. "Maybe…No! No! No fuckin' way!"

"Let's not talk about this anymore! I'm like totally about to freak out!" Nazz said.

"Good thing we're goin' to a place where we can chill out!" Eddy casually said.

The teens drove up to "The Shakedown", which parodied Steak n' Shake in appearance. They entered the drive-thru and were the second people in line. Eddy put his window down as Nazz took out her wallet.

"Whadoya want?" Eddy asked Nazz.

"Uh-" Nazz started before she looked out her window when she heard a Caucasian boy say to his black friend as they walked down the street…"Probably shouldn't! I already feel like I'm gonna burst!"

"Then, let me have it!" said the black kid.

Nazz continued to look at the boys and noticed that the black one was about to step on a huge crack! Nazz developed bug-eyes of fear as she thought about the correlation between the incident with Maggie and her room's mirrors.

"Nazz, are you alright?" Eddy asked, but Nazz did not respond. "Nazz-"

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT CRACK!" Nazz yelled. But the black kid stepped on it and looked at Nazz before he looked at his friend and shook his head as if Nazz was crazy! "Oh no!" she said softly.

"Nazz, what's-" started Eddy.

Suddenly, the 10-ft.-tall billboard-like neon "SHAKEDOWN" sign started to spark and tilt towards the Camaro! Nazz noticed this before Eddy got out of his car and saw for himself!

"Oh sh…" He uttered as he got back in his car. He repeatedly honked his horn as he shouted, "YO! MOVE, MAN! MOVE!"

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Nazz shouted out of her window! But the person in front refused to do so! Just then, the sign started to fall!

"AAAGGGHHH!" screamed Nazz, before Eddy yelled "HANG ON!"

Eddy shifted gears, threw his car in reverse, and narrowly escaped a grisly fate at the hands of the neon sign, which was destroyed the moment it hit the ground! Eddy continued to go in reverse until he got back onto the street and drove normally as other cars honked their horns at him.

"Okay, I think it's time… to take the saying "seeing is believing" seriously at this point!" Nazz said.

"Yer right!" Eddy agreed. "But Double D ain't gonna buy it and I'm gonna hate hearin' monobrow say "I told you so"! So, I pick warn Double D first!"

Nazz took out her cell phone before the screen shifted to the inside of Edd's bedroom, where Edd was seen sitting next to the still-resting Maggie as he read a magazine titled "THE OUTSIDE WORLD FOR FUTURE EXPLORERS". In the background, thunder could be heard and rain was seen trickling down the window. Edd cell phone rang in his left pocket before he answered it.

"Salutations, Nazz!" Edd greeted before the screen shifted back to Nazz and Eddy.

"Never mind that!" Nazz said in a rushed voice. "Somethin' bad almost happened to me and Eddy at the Shakedown drive-thru!"

"_What is it?" _Edd asked on the other end before Nazz replied, "Eh…I think it'll be better to tell you in person instead of on the phone!" Nazz said before the screen shifted back to Edd. _"Just open your garage's door when we pull up!" _

"Gotcha!" Edd responded before he hung up his phone.

Suddenly, the power went out when a flash of lightning flashed in front of the window! "Darn it!" Edd exclaimed before the screen shifted to his dark hallway while wearing rubber gloves and having a red umbrella. He walked downstairs as he struggled with opening his umbrella. The moment he reached the door, his umbrella sprung open! "Success!" he said softly. Edd ran outside and towards the generator on the left side of the house. Unbeknownst to Edd, the generator sparked a little before he got to it. Edd opened the generator and flipped the huge switch off as he grunted. He then attempted to switch it back on, but it proved to be more difficult than switching it off! "Stubborn lever!" he strained. He then successfully flipped the switch back on and right when he grinned lucratively, he got shocked! Despite wearing rubber gloves, the water conducted the electricity and emitted enough juice to send Edd flying through his house's wall! Just then, the lights came back on in the quivering Edd's house just as the storm settled and departed at EEnE speed. Prompting this, Eddy and Nazz pulled up in Edd's driveway.

"What the hell?" Eddy said. "I thought you told him to open the garage!"

"I did!" answered Nazz before Eddy suspiciously threw his car in park. Eddy and Nazz emerged from the Camaro and walked up to Edd's doorstep. Eddy banged on the door three times as he yelled, "Yo Sockhead! Open up! It's me!" but no one answered. He banged on the door four more times before he yelled, "C'mon! Nazz told you we were comin'!" and rang the doorbell three times.

"Eddy…I think somethin's wrong!" Nazz worried. "I can feel it!"

"Well, I can smell it! Get back!" Eddy replied as he and Nazz stepped back. "HYAH!" Eddy shouted as he kicked the door down police officer style. He then developed bug-eyes while Nazz gasped upon seeing Edd quivering and sparking as a result of being electrocuted! The two rushed towards their friend in concern and kneeled at his side.

"Double D!" Nazz reached for Edd's face in concern.

"Don't touch him!" Eddy yelled before Nazz looked at him. "Looks like he got fried only a few seconds before we got here!"

"Whadoya think caused this?" Nazz asked as Eddy continued to look at Edd. He then noticed that Edd still had a firm grip on his umbrella, which was also fried.

"Opened umbrella…inside!" Eddy deduced.

"Oh man!" Nazz exclaimed fearfully. "This is gettin' way too intense for me!"

"I hate to say it, but there is only one thing we can do now if we wanna get some answers!" Eddy said as the screen zoomed in on him and faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in Ed's bedroom, which was mostly boarded up. His window, closet, and bathroom were boarded shut and his TV was gone. His bed and chair were the only things that remained. Ed sat in his chair while Holly sat on the left arm of the chair.

"Bad luck can't get you now!" Holly said.

"Still, do you think it was a good idea to get rid of my TV?" asked Ed.

"Wouldn't want it to _accidentally _explode if you were to get gravy all over its power box, Mr. messy-eater!" Holly grinned before the door slammed open and Eddy and Nazz walked in.

"Well! Well! Well!" Ed pouted as Holly folded her arms in anger. "If it isn't Mr. and Mrs. I-think-my-friends-belong-in-a-nuthouse! Come to grace us with your hunted presence?"

"Save the attitude will ya, Lumpy?" Eddy said as he and Nazz sat down on his (Ed's) bed. "We got a situation!"

"What?" Ed asked with his arms folded.

"We found Double D lying on the floor in his house!" Nazz said. "He was shivering and sparking like he got shocked by a generator!"

"The only clue we found in terms of how…was this!" Eddy pulled out Edd's fried umbrella, which prompted Ed and Holly to gasp!

"We're sorry that we didn't believe you guys!" Nazz apologized. "But now we see how serious this is and we need your help! We need you to tell us everything you know about bad luck!"

"Well, for starters you should forget all about that 7-year, break-your-mama's-back crap!" Holly said.

"That's right!" Ed agreed. "Like I tried to tell Eddy earlier, bad luck isn't measured in years! _That_ is the stuff mythology and history nerds came up with for dramatic bullshit!"

"Then, how long is it supposed to last?" Nazz asked.

The camera zoomed in on Ed for dramatic effect before he uttered, "Forever!" and Eddy and Nazz sighed emotionally.

"And it doesn't just effect you!" Holly added. "Just like we all witnessed earlier on, bad luck affects everyone that's around you! And until it strikes, you don't know when…and you don't know how!"

"Bad luck normally strikes the most skeptical of people first!" Ed continued. "In this case, our big-brained pals: Double D and Maggie!"

"And we were skeptical all the way up to the point where that sign nearly crushed us!" Nazz mumbled as she looked at Eddy, who asked "So, how do we stop it?"

"No one's ever beaten bad luck forever!" Holly replied.

"She's right! Your, and I do mean _your_, only option is to take refuge in a trouble-resistant environment for the rest of the day!" Ed said.

"But that would mean missing Barr carnival!" Nazz said.

"There's always next year, Nazz!" Holly said.

"Yeah! If you wanna avoid a fate worse than face-burning omelets and oversized batteries, you gotta make a choice…here and now!" Ed said.

Eddy and Nazz looked at each other dubiously and unwillingly. Eddy then nodded his head once. Realizing that him and his friends' safety mean more to him than a carnival. The two then looked back at Ed and Holly with battle-ready faces.

"All right!" Eddy said as he stood up. "Let's get started!"

**

* * *

****Did you know: "Barr Carnival" is named after "Kathleen Barr", the voice actress for Kevin and Marie. Ed's co-worker, "Matt" is named after the voice actor for Ed himself: "Matt Hill". "Flavorcrest Hills" is named for "Flavorcrest": a type of Peach. (I figured that since the community is called "Peach Creek", there should be some references to said fruit.)**

**

* * *

****Phoenix's note: I wanted to explore the "Friday the 13****th****" legends and change them a little mainly because I think that myths like that should be portrayed in an epic and exciting manner that isn't clichéd or milked. I also decided to spend a decent portion of this series developing the personal bios and backgrounds of not just my OCs, but the primary characters as well. Plus, I am well aware that no one under 21 is allowed to gamble, but then again, no one under 21 is allowed to drink alcohol either! But they do it anyway! Stay tuned for next half! **


	12. Don't push your Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's Note: **Now that school's done for right now, I can work faster and _try_ notkeep you guys hesitated! And now, please read, review, and enjoy this suspenseful, epic (albeit a little long) half of "Don't push your Ed"!

* * *

The screen opened up in Eddy's backyard, where Holly and Eddy himself were seen tossing saws, axes, a lawnmower, small pieces of wood, and a chainsaw into a large hole while Ed just stood there with a shovel in his hand. In the background was a large red shed (that was built over the timeskip) with its door opened. Next to the trio was a large pile of dirt that originated from the hole.

"That's the last of 'em!" said Eddy.

"Now all we need is for Nazz to finish getting our food and drinks!" Holly added. "We're gonna need 'em if we're gonna be here a while!"

"About that, how come we gotta stay in here till midnight, anyway?" asked Eddy.

"Cuz it's Friday the 13th until the clocks hit 12:00 a.m!" Ed said as he lifted the huge dirt pile up with his shovel. "And, as you know, a new day starts at midnight! Or in our case, a free day!" he dropped the dirt pile over the hole and covered the tools. He then patted the ground and stuck the shovel in it.

"Hey, guys!" Nazz walked out of Eddy's house with a huge white sack in her hands. "Ed! Can you get my mini-fridge, please?"

"Got it, Nazz!" Ed ran into Eddy's house.

"What's all that?" Holly asked.

"Hope it's not energy bars!" joked Eddy.

"Better!" Nazz opened her sack and took out a white box of…"100 calorie chocolate chip Angel snack cakes!" she tossed it to Eddy, who caught it. "There's more food in the fridge along with the drinks! Not much though!"

"Yeah well, it's better than those freakin' gravy cakes Ed makes!" Eddy said half-heartedly.

"Got cold stuff, guys!" Ed ran out of the house, past his friends, and into the shed while in possession of the mini-fridge.

"Well, at least he's happy!" Nazz said.

"Yeah!" Holly agreed dreamily before she slowly walked towards the shed.

Nazz walked towards the shed while Eddy just stood there and looked up into the sky casually. Nazz turned around and looked at him in concern.

"Eddy, are you okay?" Nazz asked sweetly before Eddy looked at her, but did not speak. "Anything on your mind that you want to say?"

"I've been…thinkin' about this bad luck thing." Eddy uttered.

"Eddy, I know you're scared as well as me and the others are." Nazz started. "But that doesn't mean we gotta take one step-"

"No, I'm sayin'," interrupted Eddy. "if bad luck is after us…and we're in a safe zone…what's to stop it from gettin' to…our other friends?"

Nazz paused for a moment as she stared at Eddy. However, right before she could utter a word or speak her mind…

"Guys, what're you waiting for?" Holly asked. "Get in here!"

Nazz picked up her sack and threw it over her back before she motioned for Eddy to talk to her inside the shed. Eddy followed her inside just as dark clouds and the sound of thunder began to roll in.

* * *

Meanwhile in Nate's kitchen, Kevin, Cody, and Nate himself were playing poker at the kitchen table while Brooke watched as she massaged Nate's shoulders. Nate's kitchen was relatively big. There were two big sinks, a large row of brown cupboards, a large oven, an in-the-wall microwave, and the glass kitchen table, which was as long as a school cafeteria's. In the middle of the table were several quarters and each of the boys was looking at their respective cards with victorious facial expressions.

"You guys are so boned!" Cody taunted before he slammed down his cards (which were off-screen when he did so). "Whadoya say to that?"

"This!" Nate said before he slammed his cards down onto the table.

"SHIT!" yelled the angered Cody.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!Ha!" Nate taunted. "Just not yer lucky day is it?"

"Not yers either, Bennett!" yelled Kevin as he slammed his cards down and yelled, "ROYAL FLUSH, BABY!"

Kevin raked in all of the quarters while Nate angrily groaned and Cody laughed heartily!

"Looks like with Eddy not around, I'm Donald Trump!" Kevin gloated. "Face it, dude! Poker's just not your thing! You outta quit before ya lose somethin' priceless!"

"I got somethin' priceless… and I ain't losin' it!" Nate looked up at the smiling Brooke, who bent down and started making out with him right in front of the disgusted Kevin and Cody!

"UGH! EW! YAH!" Cody exclaimed in disgust. "C'mon, guys! You gotta do that in the kitchen?"

"Well, seein' how it's my kitchen…yeah, pretty much!" Nate replied before he continued to make out with Brooke!

"Aw, for God's sake man!" Kevin yelled. "Why don't'chu save it for a shower scene or somethin'?"

"Jealous?" Brooke asked Kevin. Apparently trying to get on his nerves.

"Well, you know what they say!" Kevin smiled. "Redheads are freaky! Which makes up for the fact that most of 'em don't have what most men want!"

Brooke angrily reached for Kevin's throat, but was subdued by Nate, who uttered, "Easy, baby! You know how he is!"

Suddenly, the sound of a truck approaching could be heard just outside of the front door of Nate's house.

"That must be the mail!" Nate excitedly said. "I'll be right back! Cody, keep Brooke away from Kev's neck!" he rushed out of the kitchen.

"What's up with him?" Cody asked.

"His grandparents send him a couple hundred dollars every time he gets a good report card!" Brooke sat down.

"So, he does have moments where he's in luck!" Kevin said. "It's hard to tell when guys like him lose at poker games and end up with chicks who are good in bed, but suck everywhere else!"

Out of anger, Brooke punched Kevin in the face before he fell out of his seat. At the front door, Nate opened the door and stuck his black umbrella outside before he opened it up and walked out. He walked up to his black mailbox as it rained and thundered. He opened it up and grabbed all of the mail inside.

"Mom! Dad! Dad! Mom! Dad! Mom!" Nate muttered as he shuffled through the white envelopes until he saw a blue one. "Hell yeah!" He put the envelope in his right pocket after the wind started to blow harder. Right when Nate turned his back, he heard the sound of a cat shrieking and a dog barking nearby. Nate turned back around and saw a black cat run by him while being chased by a brown dog!

"Get 'im, boy!" Nate yelled before he turned back around and walked towards his house, which was shown to be a white two-story house.

Suddenly, one of the streetlights over Nate's house creaked EEnE-style before it began to fall down towards Nate!

"What the-?" the bug-eyed Nate exclaimed as he looked down at the ground and saw the streetlight's shadow! Nate turned around and exclaimed, "UHH!" when he dodged to the right before the streetlight missed him and hit the ground! "Guess this is one of my lucky/unlucky moments!" he smirked. Right after he took one step towards his house…an off-screen tree fell on top of him! Inside the kitchen…

"What's takin' 'im so long? He just went to get mail!" asked Cody. "You'd think somethin' fell on 'im or somethin'! Kevin, go look for 'im!"

"Get the red to do it!" Kevin said as he kept a bag of ice on his left eye. "It's her man! Besides, she don't do anything else around here!"

Brooke angrily swung at Kevin, but he moved his head out of the way and smiled before Brooke walked off-screen. At the front of the house, the door had just now opened and Brooke, who was wearing Nate's hoodie, stepped out. The moment she did, she saw the fallen tree and the streetlight!

"What in the-" she started with a shocked facial expression. But stopped once she saw something moving underneath the tree. She walked closer and developed bug-eyes when she saw that it was…the hand of an African-American boy! Brooke let out a deep gasp before the screen shifted to the inside of the kitchen, where Kevin and Cody were still just sitting there, until…

"CODY! KEVIN!" Brooke screamed out to them as they jumped out of their respective seats! Both boys rushed out of the kitchen before they ran out of the front door. They saw Brooke on her knees next to Nate as she held his hand before they rushed to the other side of the tree.

"Hang on, Nate!" Cody assured his friend. "We'll get'chu out!"

"CAN YA HURRY?" Nate yelled strained as he tried to push the tree off of him. "I THINK THIS TREE'S CRUSHIN' MY NUT-SACK!"

"All right! On three, we all lift! So, everyone get a firm grip on this thing!" Kevin ordered. "Brooke, the moment we get space, you yank Nate outta the way as fast as you can!"

Brooke shook her head before she grabbed Nate's arm just as it started to rain harder.

"ALL RIGHT!" Kevin yelled. "ON THREE! ONE! TWO! THREE!"

Kevin, Cody, and Nate lifted the tree up with all their might and although they didn't get very high, they did manage to make enough room for Brooke to pull Nate out from underneath it! Kevin and Cody dropped the tree back on the ground before they gave each other a high-five.

"What the hell do ya think caused that?" Cody asked before Kevin shrugged.

Just then, the same black cat as before hopped the crushed fence and ran passed Kevin and Cody with the brown dog still chasing it! Cody and Kevin looked at each other before the wind blew extremely hard and sent the quartet flying towards Nate's house!

"UHHHH!" the teens grunted when they hit the wall! They remained on the wall as the wind continued to blow unbearably harder!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN' ON HERE?" yelled Kevin.

"THIS HAPPENED RIGHT AFTER THAT BLACK CAT RAN BY YOU GUYS!" yelled Brooke. "IT'S GOTTA BE-"

"DON'T EVEN SAY IT!" yelled Kevin as he struggled in vain to maneuver himself. "THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS…"

"AAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" the bug-eyed Cody and Kevin screamed as a big blue mailbox flew towards them! As a "CLANG" noise sounded, the screen went black.

* * *

The screen cut to the inside of Eddy's cleaned-out shed, where Eddy, Ed, Nazz, and Holly were seen eating snack cakes and drinking soda as they wore gloves and watched TV.

"Ugh, I feel like I'm in a padded jail!" groaned Eddy. "Except I'm the owner who _doesn't_ belong in a straightjacket!"

"How much longer do we have to stay in here, Holly?" Nazz asked before Holly took out her cell phone and looked at it.

"Still got another two hours and seventeen minutes, Nazz!" sighed Holly before Eddy and Nazz groaned loudly.

"Shh!" Ed shushed. "I'm tryin' to watch the news!"

"Since when do you watch-" started Eddy as Ed turned up the volume.

On the screen was Caucasian news reporter Neil Ritz, who was talking about some strange occurrences. Ritz had combed blue hair and was wearing a blue suit with an ocean blue tie.

"_I'VE SEEN SOME PRETTY WEIRD STUFF BEFORE, BUT IN MY LIFETIME, NEVER AT THIS LEVEL!" _Neil started as he held up a long piece of paper. _"I'VE GOT A WHOLE LIST OF STRANGE INCIDENTS THAT HAVE OCCURRED IN PEACH CREEK IN THE LAST TWO HOURS! A SPEEDING 18-WHEELER TRUCK SENT A SCHOOL BUS FULL OF KIWI SPRINGS FOOTBALL PLAYERS FLYING STRAIGHT INTO THE BAKER ART MUSEUM! THE PEACH CREEK FIRE STATION CAUGHT ON FIRE AS A RESULT OF A BLOWN TRANSFORMER! AND MOST RECENTLY, TWO TEENAGE BOYS BY THE NAME OF ANGELO KNIGHT AND KEVIN ECKHART WERE INJURED BY A FLYING MAILBOX THAT WAS LAUNCHED AT THEM BY A TYPHOON-LIKE WIND STORM IN PEACH CREEK ESTATES!" _

"_Oh my god!" _Nazz sadly whispered as Neil continued. _"NEVERTHELESS, THE BOYS' INJURIES ARE FAR FROM FATAL AND THEIR PARENTS HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED! ACCOMPANYING THE BOYS ARE WITNESSES AND FRIENDS: NATHANIEL BENNETT AND BROOKE CRENSHAW!" _

"Why would their parents even be out this late?" asked Eddy before the others shushed him and Neil continued. _"BUT THAT'S NOT THE STRANGEST PART OF THIS REPORT! IN TERMS OF HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED, EACH OF THESE VICTIMS HAVE MADE REFERENCES TO THE ANCIENT "FRIDAY THE 13__TH__" FOLK LEGENDS! A STUDENT FROM THE KIWI SPRINGS BUS INCIDENT STATED THAT HE WALKED UNDER A LADDER THAT AN ELECTRICIAN WAS USING MINUTES BEFORE THE INCIDENT WITH HIS BUS! A FIREFIGHTER SAID THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY SPILLED A JAR OF SALT WHILE HAVING LUNCH WITH A FRIEND MOMENTS BEFORE THE SCORCHING DISASTER TOOK PLACE! AND AT THE TOP OF MY LIST, THE BOYS, KNIGHT AND ECKHART, STATED THAT A BLACK CAT RAN PAST THEM ONLY SECONDS BEFORE THEIR MAILBOX INCIDENT! AS UNNATURALLY COINCIDENTAL THIS ALL SEEMS, AUTHORITIES AND MYTHOLOGISTS HAVE DISMISSED THESE CLAIMS AND HAVE CONSIDERED IT ALL AN ANARCHIC CASE OF TRAUMA!" _

Eddy turned off the TV before he and Nazz angrily glared Ed and Holly as Eddy folded his arms and Nazz swung her hip.

"Somethin' you wanna say?" Nazz frowned. "Or better yet, should've before we all got in here?"

Holly swept her foot on the ground from left to right as Ed looked up as if he didn't hear his friends talking to him and Holly!

"WELL?" Eddy shouted impatiently.

"Uh…" Holly uttered before Ed jumped in and said, "Well…I suppose we forgot to tell you that by making yourselves immune to bad luck's rampage after you alone started it, you've kinda…"

"Kinda what?" Eddy clinched his teeth.

"…forced it to…start anew!" Ed finished with a nervous smile. "I mean…bad luck's gotta go somewhere!"

"And it looks like it chose to go to Cody and Kevin!" Holly added. "And with it going to Maggie and Double D first, it's a safe bet that it's got somethin' vicious in mind that involves people we care about!"

"Wait!" Nazz interrupted. "Why do you keep saying "It"? _It_ chose? _It_ went for Maggie and Double D? _It's _got somethin' vicious in mind? It's almost as if you guys are saying that bad luck is a…"

"Livin' force!" the bug-eyed Eddy finished. As Ed and Holly nodded once, Nazz stood there scared while Eddy began to sweat.

"My mom always did say that those who break stuff, pay for it!" Nazz uttered anxiously.

"So, if bad luck is a livin' force and was chasin' Maggie and Double D and it just decided to go get Cody and Kev, then that means…" Eddy suddenly paused and went bug-eyed. This was one riddle that he wished his deduction skills (first mentioned in **How to Catch an Ed**) didn't allow him to figure out. "It's a trap!"

"What?" asked Nazz before Eddy faced her directly and repeated, "It's a trap! BAD LUCK KNOWS THAT WE'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO HELP OUR FRIENDS! DON'T YOU GET IT?" Eddy turned back around to face Ed and Holly. "IT'S USIN' EVERYONE WE CARE ABOUT AS BAIT TO DRAW US OUT BECAUSE WE'RE THE ONES IT WANTS!"

Out of fear, Nazz gulped before Holly added, "And with every passing minute that we don't do anything…our friends pay the price!"

Eddy generated numerous facial expressions as he decided on whether he should make the smart choice or the right one. A few seconds later, he uttered…"How do we stop it?"

"Huh?" Ed asked before Eddy repeated, "How do we stop bad luck?"

"We've been through this, Eddy!" Holly responded. "No one has ever beaten bad luck! You can only endure or shield yourself from it!"

"Think about it, will ya?" Eddy shouted. "If bad luck is alive like you said, then that means it can be taken out! Anything that's alive, whether you see it or not, can be killed or rid-of! All we have to do is find out how! And you two experts know exactly how!"

Ed and Holly hesitated on telling Eddy and Nazz what they (Ed and Holly) seem to know. Almost as if they had no faith in the possibility of being free of bad luck forever. Nevertheless…

"Okay. It's like this." Ed sighed. "If the one or _ones _who started the chain of misfortune can physically avoid or shield themselves and/or others from bad luck's wrath until midnight strikes on Friday the 13th, it'll be forced away from them for good!"

"If not, you'll have rotten luck for the rest of your life!" Holly added. "And I don't know about you, but that is a seriously big risk considering that once you step out of a safe zone, bad luck'll hit'chu harder than ever before!"

"For our friends…we gotta take that risk!" Eddy said boldly.

"You guys got any charms on you?" asked Nazz.

Ed went into both pockets and pulled out three jawbreaker-sized 4-leaf clovers per hand before the screen shifted to the outside of the shed. Seconds later, the door busted open before the quartet ran out and towards the camera, which shifted to Eddy's dark garage. Just then, the lights clicked on before the teens ran in and got into the Camaro with Eddy in the driver's seat and Nazz in the shotgun seat. Eddy started the car up and attempted to open the garage with a remote but, something was completely wrong with it! The result: the garage door didn't open!

"Looks like bad luck was listening in our plan!" Ed said.

"Big deal! Hang on!" Eddy replied before he threw his car in reverse and broke through his garage's metal door before the teens ended up on the street and Eddy parked the car on the curve.

"You know your parents are gonna be up in your ass for that, right?" Holly asked Eddy.

"Nah! The set designers'll deal with it!" Eddy casually said. "Now, let's focus! Bad luck has targeted Kevin, Cody, and possibly Nate and Brooke! And Maggie and Double D are at home restin'! For the rest of our friends, how are we gonna get our stories straight for their parents?"

"Whose parents?" Ed asked.

"Whodoya think?" Eddy asked. "Jimmy's, Jonny's, Rolf's, and yours!"

"Don't you remember, Eddy?" Nazz asked. "They all went to Barr Carnival tonight!"

"What? Oh, man!" exclaimed Eddy. "That place is big! It'll probably take us till midnight just to find 'em!"

"You mean find them first!" Ed said. "Cuz the carnival's basically one big mousetrap!"

"He's right!" Holly added. "We gotta get on the road! Now!"

"Don't gotta tell me twice!" Eddy shifted gears and drove towards the camera. As he did so, the lights flashed before the screen shifted to Barr Carnival, which was like a miniaturized six flags with only one roller coaster! People were laughing, eating, talking, and having a great time. Rolf was among several audience members as they stood in front of a man, who was on a stage that read "Fire-eater".

"How can one consume conflagration without meeting a morbid end? Rolf asks you!" Rolf scratched his head.

"Allow me to show you, young man!" answered the man.

The man picked up an off-screen torch and stuck the fiery part in his mouth before he closed it (his mouth) and extracted the extinguished wood from his mouth! The man then let out a huge burp and in the process, unleashed a fireball into the sky. The man bowed as everyone except the frightened, bug-eyed Rolf applauded.

"FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!" Rolf yelled as he ran away from the stage with various people watching him. "AS A FIERY DEMON FROM THE UNDERWORLD HAS INHABITED A FALSE BODY!"

* * *

Elsewhere, Jonny was seen at a "Knock down the bottle stack" stand with a baseball in his hand.

"Three strikes and your-" Jonny winded his arm up at EEnE speed before he threw it and shouted, "OUT!" when the ball knocked down the last stack of bottles and the crowd behind him cheered!

The manager of the stand handed Jonny a wooden board with lipstick and drawn-on feminine eyes! Jonny grabbed the board and held Plank up to "her".

"It's yer lucky day, buddy!" Jonny told Plank. "Say what?…No they don't have a unisex bathroom in this carnival, silly!…Now, that's a private place!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Jimmy and Sarah were playin' "Dunk the Dude" with the latter being up first. Inside the tank was an elderly man in a black/white-striped swimsuit.

"Aw, c'mon!" complained the old man as he looked at Sarah. "Ain't anyone here man enough to dunk me besides this little lollipop right here? I mean, look at 'er! She looks like she couldn't dunk a stick of French toast in a syrup cup!"

This enraged Sarah to the point where she turned red and her teeth sharpened. And just when she was about to throw the ball at the tank (not the target)…

"Ah, duh! duh! duh!" Jimmy lectured as he grabbed Sarah's arm. "What did I say about your temper?" Sarah looked down before her face returned to normal. "Control yourself! When you beat up that senior for taking your lunch last week, you were lucky that her parents didn't sue you! Use your emotions for energy, not violence!"

Sarah nodded before Jimmy released her arm. Sarah spun her arm around at EEnE speed before she launched the ball at the target and dunked the old man into the water before everyone around her cheered. The game manager then handed Sarah a stuffed polar bear.

"See? Now, let's go get some funnel cakes! I'm hungry!" Jimmy suggested before he and Sarah walked away from the game.

* * *

On the expressway, Eddy's Camaro could be seen speeding down the street and passing numerous cars that honked at him. It was also starting to rain a little bit. Inside the Camaro…

"All right! We need to think!" Nazz started. "What are some places in a carnival that Rolf, Jonny, Jimmy, and Sarah could possibly go to?"

"Well, if I know Sarah, which I do, she and Jimmy are at a cotton candy cart or a funnel cake stand!" answered Ed.

"And Rolf is probably watching some sideshow freak and talkin' about how it relates to the _old country_!" mocked Eddy.

"And Jonny's probably doing something… Jonny-ish!" Holly suggested.

"When we get there, not only do we have to find the guys, but we also gotta keep track of the time!" Nazz said. "How long do we have now?"

Holly pulled out her cell phone and answered, "We got an hour and forty-two minutes to get there!"

"Not bad!" Eddy commented. "If we're lucky, we can cover half the park once we split into teams!"

"Yeah, but let's not get cocky!" Ed warned. "Aside from skeptics, bad luck's primary targets are normally people who dare to stand in its way!"

"Don't quote me on this, but gettin' in the way of bastards, seen or unseen, is an unbreakable habit that I do best!" Eddy smirked.

Suddenly, a speeding white Mustang Cobra zipped by Eddy's car as it honked its horn at him.

"HEY!" Eddy yelled out the window. "WATCH IT, ASSWIPE!"

The speeding mustang continued forward until it started to ride up on a green Ford explorer. The mustang honked it's horn before the explorer moved out of the way and revealed a police car and a red Honda parked on the curb! Right then, the mustang attempted to drive away from the police car and the Honda, but it's speed made it too late and it ended up hitting the rail and flying high into the air while it spun around like a football! The mustang continued to fly into the air until it broke through the fence of the above highway bridge and hit the side of an 18-wheeler gasoline truck hard before it (the truck) tilted and fell against the other fence! Unable to take the weight, the fence broke and the truck fell threw before it descended towards the expressway!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" the bug-eyed driver's screams could be heard before the truck hit the expressway and in the process, crushed several cars and sent three flying towards Eddy's Camaro!

"AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the bug-eyed Holly, Ed, and Nazz screamed before Eddy exclaimed, "WHAT THE-?"

Eddy roughly floored his car before it swiftly went underneath the three cars, which crashed into and bounced off of three other cars that came to a stop! The teens stared at the truck and saw an electrical wire sparking very closely to a puddle of gasoline!

"THAT THING'S ABOUT TO BLOW UP!" shouted the bug-eyed Ed.

"SHUT UP AND HOLD ONTO YER SEATBELTS!" the bug-eyed Eddy yelled before he sped the car up and the wire ignited the gasoline puddle!

"EDDY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" Holly screamed out of hysterical fear!

"JUST HOLD ON!" Eddy ordered.

Nazz, Ed, and Holly closed their respective eyes and tightened their seatbelts while Eddy tied his seatbelt around his wrists (to avoid breaking something if his plan failed) and held onto the wheel of his speeding car before it drove against the fence Herbie-style! The Camaro drove right past the gasoline truck just before it exploded and sent sharp debris in all directions! Fortunately, the Camaro was far enough away to avoid them all! Eddy then got the car back on the street before the other teens opened their respective eyes and uttered sighs of relief.

"Those douches at AKA CARTOON are _so_ paying me extra for this episode!" Nazz complained.

"Whadoya expect?" Eddy replied. "Yer the female lead!"

As the group drove down expressway, the screen slowly transitioned to the carnival's parking lot. Eddy pulled into a parking space that was a distance away from the carnival before all of the teens got out of the car and started power-walking to the carnival.

"All right! Holly! Time!" Eddy demanded in a rushed voice.

Holly pulled out her cell phone and answered, "We have a little less than an hour to find them!"

"Okay, so Ed and Holly, you guys look for Sarah and Jimmy!" ordered Eddy before they all walked up to the ticket booth. Everyone went into their pockets as Eddy continued, "Nazz, you look for Rolf! I'll get forever forehead myself! When you find 'em, head back to my car! But remember! If _it_ gets to them first, put them in police hands! We can't afford the extra useless weight if somethin' worse happens!" Each of the teens handed the man in the booth their tickets before he opened the gate up with the press of a button. The quartet then took out all of their clovers before…

"How do we know that bad luck won't strike your car before we get back?" Nazz asked.

"It won't!" Ed answered. "The only time bad luck screws up material things are when it wants to get people! Now, let's go!"

The teens ran into the carnival to begin their rescue mission.

* * *

Sometime later, Ed and Holly, who were standing in front of a cotton candy cart with the former showing the cart owner a picture of Jimmy and Sarah. The cart owner simply shook his head from left to right.

"Are you sure?" Ed asked.

"Positive, kid!" answered the man.

"Ed, there's another one!" Holly pointed to another cotton candy cart before the duo ran towards the female owner. "Excuse us, ma'am! But have you seen these kids?" Holly asked as Ed held up the picture.

The woman took the picture and put it closer to her face to get a better look. She then uttered, "I sold these kids some cotton candy about ten minutes ago!"

"Did you see where they went?" Holly asked.

"No, but I think they said something about going to the carnival zoo!" answered the woman.

"Thanks!" Ed said before he ran off!

"Ed, wait!" Holly ran after Ed. "The zoo's the other way!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Nazz was walking through the middle of the street as she yelled Rolf's name repeatedly.

"ROLF! WHERE ARE YOU?" Nazz continued to yell. "ROLF!"

Nazz sighed and went into her left pocket before suddenly…

"SAVE YOURSELVES!" the bug-eyed Rolf ran past Nazz, who developed bug-eyes when she saw him! "AS THIS PROFESSED LAND OF LEISURE ENCHANTMENT HARBORS EVIL IMPERCEPTIBLE SPIRITS!"

"Rolf, wait!" Nazz took off after the obviously terrified Rolf.

* * *

Elsewhere, Eddy was standing in front of an off-screen person as he described Jonny.

"He's 16, mixed, about this tall," Eddy put his hand to his nose. "has a seriously huge cantaloupe-shaped head with some fuzz on it, carries around a piece of wood with a drawn-on face, and looks like the type of person who craps himself!"

The camera shifted to the person Eddy was talking to, who was a security guard that almost _exactly _fit Eddy's description! Except this person was about 26!

"Are you tryin' to be funny?" the guard angrily asked before he farted and was suddenly knocked aside by a taller guard! "I saw that kid about twelve minutes ago! Said he was looking for a piece of wood with a male face on it! Or his _friend_!"

"Did you see where he was headed?" Eddy asked.

"I think he said he was gonna try searchin' the big top!" answered the guard.

"Thanks!" Eddy yelled before he ran off-screen.

* * *

At the carnival zoo, Sarah was holding up a pink camera as she prepared to take a picture of Jimmy posing with a sleeping rhino with its seven family members in the background. Neighboring this cage were cages with giraffes, horses, llamas, and peacocks. There was also one large cage for four elephants.

"Okay, one more, then we'll call Rolf and get outta here!" Sarah said.

"You got it!" Jimmy agreed.

Some distance behind Sarah, Holly and Ed could be seen running in another direction until…

"Ed, look!" Holly and Ed stopped as the former pointed to Sarah and Jimmy.

"Oh, I don't believe it!" Ed ran towards the freshmen. "Jimmy! Sarah!"

Sarah turned around as she pressed flash and blinded the distracted Jimmy and woke the rhino up!

"Ohh!" Sarah scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "Yer not gonna get in my face about flash photography are ya? And what up with the clovers?"

"Listen to me!" ordered Holly. "Whether you wanna believe this or not, Maggie and Double D are at home, out cold because of…well, you know what day this is?"

"Friday the 13th?" Sarah answered jokingly. "Seriously, how old do you think we are?"

"Knew she was gonna be skeptical! That's why I took these earlier on!" Ed took out his digital camera and showed Sarah a picture of Maggie, whose face was insanely red and horribly burned! He then showed her a picture of the electrocuted Edd, who was lying on his living room floor after being shocked. Sarah developed bug-eyes when she saw these. "And if you think these are fake, check out what Brooke sent us from Peach Creek General Hospital!" Ed showed Sarah an off-screen picture before the latter gasped fearfully. "That's Kevin and Cody! And you know damn well that no one would go this far just to pull a prank!"

"Eddy and Nazz set off the bad luck chain by accident earlier today!" explained Holly. "We were gonna just stay at Eddy's place until midnight when it ends!"

"But then we realized that bad luck was targeting other people!" Ed added. "Both strangers to us…and people we care about!"

Sarah just stared at Ed and Holly with a fearful, bug-eyed facial expression. She gulped heavily as a racing heartbeat could be heard as a sound effect.

"We came all the way here to get you guys, Jonny, and Rolf!" Holly continued. "I dunno if Nazz or Eddy found them yet, but I do know that this carnival is the last place we'd be safe at! So, get Jimmy and follow us!"

Sarah nodded before she turned around and yelled, "Jimmy! We gotta go! Now!"

"Yer not seriously listening to them, are you?" Jimmy asked.

"We're not kidding, Jimmy!" yelled Ed. "Let's go!"

Just then, without prior notice, a gust of wind swiftly blew past the group as they shouted, "WHOA!" and the clovers that were in Ed and Holly's hands flew up in the air and out of sight!

"_Oh, God!" _Ed said hoarsely as he looked up into the sky.

"Please tell me you have more charms!" Sarah said out of fear.

"I gave everything but those clovers to Double D!" Ed replied as he continued to stare into the sky.

"And Ed gave me a clover after I gave everything to Maggie!" added Holly as she looked up into the sky.

"So, we're traveling up bad luck creek without good luck paddles?" asked the fearful Sarah.

"Pretty much!" Ed and Holly said in unison.

Suddenly, the animals started to bellow out of fear. The teens looked at the animals and then at each other knowingly.

"Holly, time!" Ed rushed before Holly took out her cell phone and answered, "Thirty-five minutes till midnight!"

"Oh, good!" Ed said relieved.

Nearby, a muscular teen slammed a mallet onto the target of a High-striker game before the metal cylinder went up and knocked the yellow bell off of the top and sent it flying towards Ed's group!

"All we gotta do now is find Eddy and Na-"

Ed was cut off when the bell knocked Sarah on the ground and unconscious!

"SARAH!" Jimmy screamed in concern.

"Quick! Grab her and let's get out of here!" Holly shouted.

Jimmy picked Sarah up baby-style and ran with Ed and Holly.

* * *

Somewhere else in the park, Nazz and Rolf were walking slowly while the former was explaining to him the _real_ situation. The two stopped at a hamburger stand.

"If this is true, then Rolf does not wish to be in your presence at this moment, she who's cursed with inevitable misfortune!" Rolf said.

"Dude, even if I go away, you'd still be in for it!" replied Nazz. "Bad luck's not only out to get me and Eddy, it's also got you and everyone else we care about on the list!"

"Then Rolf must utilize your large shamrock as he gets food, leader-of-bombshell-troop Nazz girl!" Rolf took the clover from Nazz as she sighed annoyed.

"Hallo!" Rolf greeted as he took out a twenty-dollar bill. "Rolf wishes to purchase your largest and most succulent quantity of meat on bread, yes?"

The female worker grabbed his money before she shouted, "WE NEED A TRIPLE-STACK ASAP, LENNY!"

In the stand, a man was shaking the fries up before he put them in the grease and stepped over to the grill. Just then, Nazz's cell phone rang before she took it out and answered, "Hello?"

"_Nazz!" _Holly's voice shouted before the screen shifted to her group, who were still running and appeared to be minus one Sarah! "Bad luck's back! And because it's twenty-five minutes till, it's hitting us harder than before! We lost our clover and Sarah just got knocked unconscious by the bell of a high-striker game!" she continued before the screen shifted back to the bug-eyed Nazz, who asked, "Where is she now?"

"_We had to drop her off at the carnival police office!"_ Holly answered. "_Eddy said we can't afford having extra weight on us while bad luck is on our asses like this! Is Rolf with you?"_

"Yeah!" replied Nazz. "We're at a food stand!"

"_Well, get him and yourself outta there!" _Holly demanded before the screen shifted back to her. "We have to leave the park and shield ourselves before midnight!" the screen shifted back to Nazz.

"All right!" Nazz said. "Rolf, we have to go! Now!"

"In a moment, impatient Nazz girl!" Rolf said. "Rolf cannot depart in unrestrained fear on an empty belly!"

"I'm serious, Rolf!" Nazz urged.

Just then, while holding Rolf's giant burger, Lenny slipped on some grease and accidentally grabbed a French fry grate's handle as he landed before French fry grease was flung over the counter just as Rolf turned around!

"SLORRRRGAHHHHHHHHH!" Rolf shrieked as the hot grease flew into his eyes and made him fall to his knees and others to rush towards him!

"ROLF!" Nazz shouted in concern before Holly asked, _"What's wrong?" _

"Hot grease just got hurled into Rolf's eyes!" Nazz answered in bug-eyed fear before the screen shifted to Holly, who ordered, "Get outta there! There's nothing you can do for him now!" the screen shifted back to Nazz, as Holly continued, _"Just go! GO!"_

Unwillingly, Nazz ran away from Rolf just as two police officers arrived at the scene and grabbed him.

* * *

Meanwhile, Jonny was walking with only Plank in his arms.

"Look Plank, I'm sorry she left you because she thought you had a tiny dick, but that's still no reason for you to run…" Jonny talked to Plank. "…well, you wanted her!…Don't blame this on me!…Fine! We'll see the fire-eater guy, then we can go home so you can mope!"

Jonny walked up to the fire-eater show before Eddy suddenly ran out from behind a passing hotdog cart! He looked to his left before he spotted Jonny.

"JONNY!" Eddy yelled before he (Jonny) looked at Eddy as he (Eddy) ran towards him (Jonny). Jonny greeted, "Hiya, Eddy! Nice clover! What's that, pal?…Plank says thanks again for the motorcycle!"

"Listen, we gotta get outta this park! Now!" Eddy frequently told Jonny.

"Why? What's goin' on?" Jonny asked.

As Eddy explained, in the background, two male clowns (one with orange hair and the other with yellow hair) were at a food stand and each had a slice of pizza. The orange-haired clown ate his in one gulp while the yellow-haired one had yet to take a bite. The still-hungry orange-haired clown tapped the yellow-haired clown on the other side of his shoulder before the latter looked in that direction and the orange-haired clown stole his pizza and gulped it down! The yellow-haired clown saw that his pizza was gone and angrily looked at the orange-haired one!

"You ate my pizza!" yelled the yellow-haired clown.

"Did not!" the orange-haired clown lied.

"Did so!" the angered yellow-haired clown argued.

"Did not!" the orange-haired clown justified.

"Yes you did ya lyin', greedy son of a bitch!" cursed the yellow-haired clown before he and the other clown hopped off of their stools!

"And if I did, what're you gonna do about it?" yelled the orange-haired clown before the yellow-haired clown threw a unicycle at the former's face and knocked him down! Angered, the orange-haired clown took out a banana cream pie with an iron inside and threw it at the yellow-haired clown before the latter ducked and the pie flew straight for the back of Eddy's head!

"Yer not serious, are ya Eddy?" Jonny held his hands on Plank's "ears".

"I'm dead serious, man! And we gotta get outta here before…WHOA!" Eddy turned around and saw the "iron pie" flying straight towards him! Eddy then ducked before the pie went smack into Jonny's face and sent him flying straight into the fire-eater! Before they fell off the stage, the fire-eater ended up burping a fireball towards Eddy as he (Eddy) stood back up and turned back around in time to see it coming!

"YAH!" the bug-eyed Eddy shouted as he put the clover in front of him only seconds before the fireball burned it to a crisp and left Eddy speechless, but unscathed! Eddy then looked at his fallen friend as the crowd gathered around him (Jonny). Sadly realizing that there was nothing more he could do, Eddy ran off while the clowns ran towards Jonny.

* * *

Near a merry-go-round, Ed, Holly, Jimmy, and Nazz ran into each other while having panicked and terrified looks on their respective faces!

"There you are!" Ed said out of breath. "Where's Eddy?"

"I don't-"

"Right here!" Eddy suddenly appeared behind his friends out of breath.

"Where's Jonny?" Holly asked.

"Bad luck got 'im!" Eddy answered as he panted.

"Same with Sarah!" said Jimmy.

"And Rolf!" Nazz added.

"Holly!" Eddy looked at Holly before she took out her cell phone and said, "We got twenty minutes to get to your car!"

"Let's move then!" Eddy advised.

But before the teens could even start, they heard various animal noises in the distance opposing the merry-go-round and saw many people running away and in their direction. They looked in that direction and much to their bug-eyed horror, saw all of the zoo animals headed straight for them at an insane pace!

"STAMPEDE!" Eddy shouted before the entire group ran away along with the crowd. "WE GOTTA GET TO MY CAR!"

"NO SHIT!" screamed Nazz.

As they and many people before them continued to run away, the stampede got closer and closer until the terrified elephant knocked Ed and Jimmy into the air with its trunk and sent them flying towards the spinning merry-go-round!

"ED!" Holly worried while off-screen.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Ed and Jimmy screamed as they descended towards the merry-go-round! Jimmy fell on top of a horse on the ride while Ed fell on top of and unwittingly flipped the switch controlling the ride before it spun faster as the people and their kids screamed in terror! Ed quickly realized this issue and flipped the switch back to normal speed. But unfortunately, this caused all of the people on there (including Jimmy) to be flung in all directions before the ride even stopped!

"Uh-oh!" Ed exclaimed.

* * *

At the same time, Nazz, Eddy, and Holly were still on the run from the stampede! Just then, Eddy spotted a getaway chance to his right before he yelled…

"QUICK! JUMP!" Eddy and the girls lunged to the right and the stampede continued forward.

"Holly…time!" Nazz breathed heavily as they stood up and got back on the street.

But as Holly took out her cell phone, the trio heard a horse whinny as it approached. Around the horse's neck was a long wire with a super-huge black dumbbell unintentionally tied at the other end. The trio jumped out of the way of the horse, but the wire and the dumbbell wrapped around Holly's ankles before she was yanked off along with the still-running horse!

"HOLLY!" Eddy and Nazz screamed for their friend before they chased after her. But the horse was too fast for them and Holly would always be just a reach ahead of them!

"AAGGHH! HELP ME!" Holly screamed in bug-eyed fear.

The screen shifted to an audience that was about to watch a sword-swallowing show. But as the performer drew his sword, the horse suddenly reappeared and cut through the audience as it continued to drag Holly and be pursued by Eddy and Nazz!

"We'll never be able to get her loose this way!" yelled Nazz.

"Yeah, we will!" Eddy replied confidently before he jumped on stage and snatched the performer's sword right out of his hand and continued to give unrelenting chase with Nazz!

"Hey! Give that back!" the sword-swallower angrily yelled off-screen as Eddy and Nazz continued.

The horse then made a turn down a large street with food stands on each side and people watching the horse as it dragged Holly. Right behind them were the still-relentless Eddy and Nazz. The former ran up a food stand wall in a cartoonish fashion before he began running and jumping from rooftop to rooftop! Nazz hopped on a nearby moped and pursued Holly on that. But despite these valiant efforts, Holly always remained slightly unreachable to her saviors!

"Can this fucking night get any worse?" Holly shouted before she looked ahead and heard various animal noises. She developed bug-eyes when she saw that it was the stampede that she, Eddy, and Nazz had recently avoided running past the intersection she was headed for! "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Eddy looked down and uttered, "You gotta be shittin' me!" as Nazz looked forward and said, "Oh, god!"

In slow motion, the horse jumped over the stampede while Holly was about to be dragged underneath it! As the sound of a heartbeat could be heard, Nazz stopped riding while Eddy jumped off of the last rooftop and tossed the sword at the horse and Holly! Nazz saw this and crossed her fingers knowingly. Ultimately…THE SWORD CUT THE WIRE AND FREED HOLLY'S ANKLE JUST BEFORE AN ELEPHANT COULD TRAMPLE HER FOOT! Holly hyperventilated and held her chest before Nazz ran up behind her, fell to her (Nazz's) knees, and hugged her best friend in relief! Meanwhile, Eddy fell onto three metal trashcans before he landed on the ground and groaned.

"Things I do for people!" Eddy stood up before he looked to his right and developed bug-eyes when he saw…"BLACK CATS!" a stampede of black felines that started to run past his feet before he began to stumble!

As she and Holly got up, Nazz saw Eddy's predicament and realized what that many black cats could do to one person on a day like today!

"_Eddy!" _Nazz whispered in concern before she ran down the street to get him.

As soon as the last cat got across Eddy's feet, he fell into the middle of the street. He got back up in time to see a U-haul truck speeding towards him!

"OH SH-UNH!" Eddy exclaimed before he got tackled out of the way by Nazz, who was lying on top of Eddy as he looked onto the street.

"What the hell's a U-haul truck doin' in a carnival?" Eddy yelled angrily before Nazz grabbed Eddy's hand and said, "C'mon!" as they stood up. Nazz walked out onto the street and in the process, stepped on a crack! She saw this and looked both ways until she looked up and saw a giant flatscreen TV descending towards her! She would've moved, but she was too frightened! Eddy, however, saw this, reached for Nazz EEnE-style, and yanked her away just before the TV hit the ground and Holly ran up beside her.

"Is that my TV?" Nazz asked angered.

"Holly! Time!" rushed Eddy before Holly took out her phone and answered, "Ten minutes till! We gotta move!"

"That way!" Eddy pointed to the intersection that was recently overrun by the stampede. "We can cut through there! Follow me!" Eddy yelled as he ran in that direction and the girls followed. The screen shifted to the carnival's entrance/exit before Eddy and the girls showed up on-screen running towards it.

"Almost there, ladies!" Eddy shouted confidently before he and the girls ran through the entrance/exit. Just then, "EDDY!" The trio stopped when they heard Ed's voice calling out from behind them. They turned around and saw Ed and a speechless Jimmy running straight for them!

"Ed!" Holly screamed in an almost tearful relief.

"Let's go!" Eddy bellowed. "It's almost midnight!"

The teens ran straight for Eddy's Camaro as Jimmy screamed, "We're gonna make it!" But suddenly, an earthquake fell upon the land and in the process, the screen violently shook!

"AN EAR-R-R-THQUAKE? IN P-P-PEACH CREEK?" shouted Jimmy.

"C-C-COULD THE D-D-DIRECTOR G-G-GET ANY L-L-LAMER?" Nazz shrieked.

Suddenly, huge rocks started to emerge and descend from the pavement and affected everyone's car except Eddy's for some reason. The teens noticed this as they tried to keep themselves from falling down.

"W-W-HY ISN'T MY C-C-C-AR GETTIN' SCREWED U-U-UP?" Eddy yelled.

"C-C-CUZ…" Holly started as she fell to her knees. "B-B-BAD LUCK IS D-D-DARING US!"

"NO!" Ed shouted as he stood up. "IT-IT-IT'S… STALLING US!"

"W-W-WELL…IT-IT-IT'S NOT GONNA WORK ON ME!" Eddy yelled as he jumped from rising stone to rising stone.

"FOLLOW HIM!" Nazz yelled before she did the same. Using her Martial arts and gymnastics skills to make it look like no problem.

Jimmy climbed onto Ed's back before the latter and Holly joined in. As they continued forward, it began thundering and lightening as the sky turned black! Although it scared them a little, it did not stop them! As they got closer and closer to the Camaro, Holly took out her cell phone. And looked at the time which read, "11:59 p.m."! She clicked on a few buttons before a stopwatch appeared and revealed that…

"WE'VE GOT FIFTEEN SECONDS!" screamed Holly.

"THEN LET'S PUNCH IT!" yelled Eddy.

Once Holly's stopwatch app reached ten seconds, everything went slo-mo! The kids spent the first four seconds hopping off of the last few rocks before they landed feet-first on the ground and rushed towards Eddy's car! Three seconds later, Eddy opened his shotgun door and hopped into the front seats along with Nazz while Ed, Holly, and Jimmy hopped into the backseats! Once the doors shut, Holly's stopwatch read, "3…2…1…12:00 a.m." before triumphant music played at normal speed and all of the chaos, both sky and ground, vanished! Inside the car, Eddy and Nazz respectively emerged from the driver and shotgun seats while Ed (who was lying on Holly's lap) and Jimmy (who was on the floor) emerged speechless. Was it really over? Holly looked at her cell phone, which now read "12:01 a.m."!

"Guys! It's over! IT'S FINALLY OVER!" Holly happily shrieked before the screen shifted to the outside of the car and the kids cheered! Just then, Eddy started his car up and drove out of the lot before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in Edd's backyard table, where the recovered Edd and Maggie were seen sitting at the table with Eddy, Nazz, Ed, and Holly as they sipped on root beer and talked about their unfortunate misadventure.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Maggie. "Are they all right now?"

"Yeah! They're at home restin' right now!" answered Eddy.

"By the way, Maggie, how'd you get that burn off your face?" Holly asked.

"Amazing what only a dab of facial restoration cream can do in just half an hour, isn't it?" Edd smirked before he winked and Maggie looked at him and smiled.

"Well Ed, looks like you and that sci-fi stuff you like paid off again, didn't it big guy?" Maggie looked at Ed, who smiled.

"But there's one thing that's been bothering me!" Nazz said.

"What?" Ed asked.

"When I was with Rolf, he grabbed the clover that you gave me!" Nazz started. "But still, he got bad luck!"

"Yeah!" Eddy remembered. "And when I was with Jonny, I was almost hit in the head by an iron pie only after I turned around! Then Jonny ended up gettin' hit and he sent this fire-eater guy flying off the stage!"

"And we lost our clover in the wind before Sarah got knocked out! Heh, guess that tactic didn't work!" Ed recalled before Holly shushed him.

"What tactic?" Nazz asked suspiciously.

"Oh, uh nothing!" Ed lied as he sweated.

"What tactic?" Eddy asked impatiently.

"Nothing! Drink your soda!" Holly smiled nervously.

"WHAT TACTIC?" Eddy and Nazz stood up and yelled in unison. Ed and Holly looked nervous while Edd and Maggie just stared at them (Ed and Holly).

"Look, the clovers we gave you weren't real 4-leaf clovers!" Holly explained. "But we thought that bad luck wouldn't be able to tell the difference because it stands clear of all things good luck!"

"But I guess we were wrong!" Ed smiled nervously as Eddy and Nazz angrily glared at them. "Pretty funny, huh guys?"

"Funny?" Eddy yelled. "I almost got burned or knocked unconscious because I let my guard down when I had that thing! Do you realize how much trouble we would still be in if that had happened?"

"Aw, c'mon, guys!" Holly laughed nervously. "All rescue teams screw up on getting material defenses sooner or later, right?"

Eddy cracked his knuckles while Nazz cracked her neck! Ed and Holly continued to sweat and gulp until…

"Hey, look! There's Cody and Kevin!" Ed suddenly said before Eddy and Nazz turned around and Ed and Holly zipped away at EEnE-speed! The screen cut to the outside of Edd's house, before Ed and Holly broke the door down and ran down the street! Only to be chased by the enraged Eddy and Nazz!

"Wait'll I get my hands on you!" yelled Eddy.

"Will someone end this episode?" Ed yelled. "I think we already went overtime! AAGGHH!"

The screen zoomed in on all four characters before the screen went completely black and a crashing noise could be heard!

**End of episode 6**

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* * *

****Did you know: "Baker Art Museum" is named after "Dee Bradley Baker": my ideal voice actor for teenage Kevin. Rolf getting hot grease thrown into his eyes was deference to the old series. In which he had his eye hit by Ed's spatula (Boo Haw Haw) and kicked accidentally by Edd (A fistful of Ed). Jimmy briefly carrying Sarah was an intended inverse to the old series (in which Sarah always carried him, **_**never **_**the other way around).**

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* * *

****Hope you've enjoyed episode 6! Next episode, I will explore high school elections, but portray them and juice them up Actionphoenix260-style! And to add to the pubescent suspense and drama, I'm reinventing/reigniting the Ed/Kanker triangular rivalry; starting with Eddy and Lee. That's all for now folks! **

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* * *

****Title reference: Don't push your Luck **


	13. Hail to the Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note: **I am not a huge fan of the political world nor do I pay a lot of attention to it. But I do love comedies that surround the Ed/Kanker rivalry! Here's episode 7 everybody! If you read, you must REVIEW! I mean it! All questions and advice are to be submitted to me via PM!

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****EPISODE 7: HAIL TO THE ED**

* * *

The screen opened up at the J. Wootton high school cafeteria, where Cody, Nazz, Holly, Maggie, Edd, Jonny, and Kevin were seen sitting at the popular kids' table eating their own respective lunches that they brought from home. Cody had pizza, Nazz had macaroni and cheese and root beer, Holly had a meatball sub, Maggie had fried shrimp, Edd had a salad, Jonny had a tofu burger, and Kevin had a large ham sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, and a slice of cheese on it.

"Y'know, I'm gettin' real tired of havin' to make my own lunch just so I can avoid _lookin' _at the shit that they have here!" Cody chewed his food.

"I know, right!" Maggie agreed. "I heard that a few kids got food poisoning last year just by _smelling_ a cheese pizza!"

"I was one of those kids!" Jonny chewed his food. "And they wouldn't even give me free lunch when I came back!"

"If I was in charge, the first thing I'd do is get some decent food in here!" Cody swallowed. "Not askin' for lobster or anything! Just wanna eat somethin' that don't make me wanna kill the cook!"

"Bet they get their recipes from Rolf!" Holly joked before everyone laughed.

"Well, if it settles your nerves a tad, Eddy said that he had a special segment about the nourishment that this school provides on the Wootton News Network!" Edd swallowed.

"Oh, man!" Kevin laughed. "If I know that guy, he's bound to go over the line!"

"But that's one of the cool things about him!" Nazz giggled.

"Uh-oh! Hear that boys?" Kevin teased. "Nazz is startin' to get it bad for Eddy's rough side!"

Jonny and Cody started to snicker tauntingly as Nazz growled in a stuttered pitch, "Shut up! I am not!" But the boys kept on laughing!

"Yer a terrible liar!" Kevin laughed. "It's all in yer tone!"

"Seriously, Nazz!" Cody added. "Just admit that'chu like everything about that dude! And not just his soft side!"

"You guys are a bunch of idiotic dicks if you think that I'm the type of girl to fall for a guy's disrespectfulness, infantile behavior, promiscuity…" Nazz began to soften her speech pattern. "…_stubbornness, recklessness, rebelliousness_…" she began to develop a dreamy facial expression! "…_overconfidence, daringness, knack for finding danger, and…addiction to taking the leadership role without a word from someone else_!"

Nazz snapped out of her lustful rant and saw that her friends were looking at her tauntingly! She blushed and folded her arms as she glared at Kevin before she casually continued, "I don't judge! I'm going to leave it at that!"

Suddenly, the cafeteria's Flatscreen TV on the wall turned on before everyone's attention went to it. The screen read "WNN" before Brooke and Twan appeared at a desk.

"_HI, I'M BROOKE CRENSHAW!"_ Brooke introduced herself.

"_AND I'M TWAN BENNETT!"_ Twan introduced himself_. "AND YER WATCHIN'…"_

"_THE WOOTTON NEWS NETWORK!"_ Brooke and Twan said in unison.

"_WE DON'T HAVE A LOT TO REVEAL FOR THIS WEEK, BUT WE DO HAVE AN IMPORTANT WORD FROM OUR PRINCIPAL HIMSELF: MR. HECTOR CAIRD!" _Brooke started before the TV camera transitioned to Hector, who sat at a desk with a piece of paper in his hand.

"_THANK YOU, MS. CRENSHAW! NOW, AS MANY OF YOU KNOW, THE TIME HAS COME TO ELECT THE NEXT EDUCATION-BASED PRESIDENT!" _Hector held up his piece of paper, which had a silhouetted person pointing with the American flag behind it and a question mark in the middle. _"ASIDE FROM A FEW CONDITIONS HERE AND THERE, YOU'LL HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE REASONABLE CHANGES FOR SCHOOL!"_

Just then, an off-screen kid yelled, _"UNISEX ACCESS TO THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM!"_ before Hector angrily yelled, _"I SAID **REASONABLE**!" _

The screen shifted to the popular kids' table, where Cody had just now developed a surprised facial expression. It appeared to him that what he had just now spoke to his friends about had an ironic spin on the message Hector was delivering. At the same time, Hector continued, _"IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BEING PUT ON THE BALLOT, SEE ME AFTER SCHOOL SO THAT I MAY SPEAK WITH YOU AND SEE IF YOU ARE QUALIFIED! BUT REMEMBER, ONLY TWO CANDIDATES WILL BE CHOSEN DUE TO LAST YEAR'S INCIDENT! THAT'S ALL FOR NOW! BACK TO YOU, MS. CRENSHAW!"_

The screen shifted back to Brooke and Twan before the former uttered, _"THANK YOU, PRINCIPAL CAIRD! AND NOW, WE GO LIVE WITH EDDY GATES AND ED FULLER, ON A SEGMENT ABOUT OUR LUNCHES! SO, GET READY FOR A RIOT!" _Brooke finished before the screen shifted to the outside of the door leading to the kitchen. Eddy stood there with a microphone in his hand while Ed just stood there and waved into the camera.

"_THANKS, BROOKE!" _Eddy opened the door and walked in with Ed right behind him. Inside, the lunch ladies were making off-screen food. _"I'D SAY IT'S ABOUT TIME THEY GOT A REAL REPORTER FOR JOBS LIKE THIS!" _Eddy walked up to a black lunch lady, who was stirring something in a big metal vat. _"A MOMENT OF YER TIME, MS.?" _

"_GO AWAY, BOY!" _the lunch lady ordered annoyed.

"_CAN'T DO THAT TILL I GET SOME FACTS, MS.!" _Eddy smirked as Ed walked off-screen. _"SO, TELL OUR VIEWERS! IS IT TRUE THAT YOU MIX DESSERT WITH RECYCLED AND HALF-EATEN DESSERTS YOU'VE SERVED IN THE PAST?" _

The moment Eddy asked this, the screen shifted to the lunchroom before everyone who was talking ceased and looked at the screen in disgust! At the popular kids' table…

"And here we go!" Edd shook his head from left to right knowingly. Back to Eddy…

"_BOY, I SHOULD SLAP YOU FOR SAYIN' SUCH-" _the lunch lady threatened before Eddy interrupted, _"MIND TELLIN' US WHAT IT IS YER MAKIN'?" _

"_PUDDING!" _the lunch lady yelled. _"NOW GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE-" _

"_THAT AIN'T PUDDIN'!" _Eddy looked into the vat.

"_YEAH, IT IS!" _the lunch lady shouted.

"_NATE, ZOOM IN ON THIS VAT AND TELL ME IF IT LOOKS LIKE PUDDIN' TO YA!" _Eddy told cameraman Nate, who replied off-screen, _"ZOOMIN'!" _

But before he could, the lunch lady pushed the camera away from the vat and yelled, _"NOT! AND WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I'M MAKIN'?" _

"_JUST A GUY WHO WANTS TO REVEAL THE TRUTH TO THE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE IT!" _Eddy answered. _"AND THE TRUTH IS, THAT AIN'T PUDDIN'!" _

"_SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS, SMART-ALECK?" _the lunch lady stopped stirring.

"_OH, IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT I THINK!" _Eddy smirked. _"IT'S ABOUT THE VIEWERS' OPINIONS! SO, LET'S ASK 'EM!" _Eddy turned to the camera and grabbed the tip of the vat. _"HAVE YOU GUYS EVER SEEN PUDDING LOOK LIKE THIS?" _Eddy tilted the vat before Nate zoomed in on it and showed the public that the "pudding" was green, thick, and had lumps in it! In the cafeteria, most of the kids began looking away and vomiting while the kids at the popular table (save for Edd, the girls, and the puking Cody) began to laugh heartily! Back in the kitchen…

"_JUST CAN'T MAKE LUNCH LIKE YOU USED TO ANYMORE, HUH?" _Eddy smirked as the humiliated lunch lady glared at him with an enraged facial expression! _"HOW DARE YOU?" _she violently reached for Eddy, but he jumped back and got into a battle stance.

"_AH, BUH! BUH!" _Eddy smirked. _"I MUST WARN YA! I'M A MASTER OF HYBRID MARTIAL ARTS! AND I AIN'T BEIN' CLICHÉ' NEITHER! BESIDES, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BRING THE BIG GUY OUT HERE SO HE COULD TELL US ALL WHAT ELSE YA COOKED…OR HALF-ASSED ON!" _

"_YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" _the lunch-lady grinded her teeth.

"_WANNA BET?" _Eddy continued smirking. _"'EY, MONOBROW! WHAT'S ON THE MENU?" _

Ed zipped up behind Eddy with a square transparent container filled with oddly cooked and unnaturally colored food from hamburgers to tacos and steaks to tater tots!

"_THE FOOD KINDA REMINDS ME OF THE INSIDE OF MY OLD MATTRESS, EDDY! LOOK!" _Ed grinned as he showed all the food to the camera before the screen shifted to the cafeteria and showed all of the disgusted kids that were throwing up and screaming in horror! The screen cut to the outside of the cafeteria's double doors before the kids all stampeded out while screaming and holding their vomit! Back inside, only the kids at the popular table remained and the boys (save for Edd and Cody) were the only ones laughing! Back in the kitchen, the infuriated lunch lady's teeth were clinched to the point where they looked they were about to break!

"_NO PROPS HERE FOLKS!" _Eddy smiled into the camera. _"'FRAID THAT'S REAL AND RAW! NO PUN INTENDED! NOW, TELL US MS.!" _Eddy walked up to the still-angered lunch lady, who looked down at him in spite! _"HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?" _Eddy put the microphone to the lunch lady's mouth before she bit into it like a lollipop! She then breathed on him like a bull ready to charge!

"_OH, DAMN!" _Eddy uttered scared.

The screen then shifted to another part of the kitchen before the camera-bound Nate, Eddy, and Ed were seen running and dodging giant green pudding balls as they yelled, "OOOOAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH!"! Nate ran in front of the two Eds and recorded them as all three of them continued to run! Just then, the black lunch lady and two Caucasian ones appeared at the corner of which the boys ran down before they all started tossing green pudding balls at the trio! Up ahead, Nate jumped over a small table before Eddy leaped towards it, grabbed its edges, and did a front flip as he turned it over and used it as a fort! Ed then leaped over the table as Nate stood on the side of them (Ed and Eddy) and continued to keep the camera on them.

"SEE?" Eddy yelled into the camera as the lunch ladies kept on firing pudding balls at him and Ed behind the table! "NOW THEY'RE TRYIN' TO FORCE-FEED US…VIOLENTLY! DON'T YOU THINK IT SUCKS THAT WE GOTTA BE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WARZONE JUST TO EAT?"

Ed tapped Eddy on the shoulder when the lunch ladies suddenly stopped firing. They then looked up and developed bug-eyes when they saw the trio of female chefs near a black, pudding-ball-loaded…

"Where the hell did they get a cannon?" Eddy yelled.

The black lunch lady then pulled the string before a huge pudding-ball flew towards the boys at great speed! And because the ball was much bigger than the previous ones, it could quite easily do some damage to the table!

"SCATTER!" Ed shouted as he and Eddy jumped in opposite directions and the ball sent the table flying through the exit door of the kitchen! Ed and Eddy then made a run for the door before Nate managed to get ahead of them and film them as the lunch ladies continued to fire at (and miss) them!

"_THAT'S ALL FOR THIS SEGMENT FOLKS!" _Eddy yelled with a fearful (and humorous) facial expression! _"BACK TO YOU, BROOKE!" _

"AAAGGGHHH!" As the trio got through the double doors, a green pudding ball flew towards them before the camera shifted back to Brooke and Twan.

"_WHEN YOU SAID RIOT, YOU WEREN'T KIDDIN'!" _Twan snickered. _"WELL, THAT'S IT FOR THIS SHOW! I'M TWAN BENNETT!" _

"_AND I'M BROOKE CRENSHAW! SEE YA NEXT, TIME!" _Brooke smiled before the TV in the cafeteria turned off. Still sitting, Kevin and Jonny laughed while the others just sat there annoyed.

"Oh, man!" Kevin held his gut. "I gotta throw Eddy a jawbreaker party for that!"

"Man, that's not funny!" Cody swallowed his vomit. "That only proves how out-of-control things get when someone doesn't take action!"

"Well, should you desire, why not stay behind after school and speak with Principal Caird on the subject of becoming the next education-based president?" suggested Edd.

"I dunno, D!" Cody thought out loud. "I've never seen myself as a leader! But why don't you guys get Eddy to do it? He practically emptied his wallet of facts about this school's crap and he's got badass leadership skills!"

"The education-based president has to have at least a 3.5 G.P.A!" Maggie replied. "And, no offense Nazz, but I don't think Eddy's nature allows him to have a G.P.A. even close to that!"

"It's fine!" Nazz smiled. "He's only off by one point anyway!"

The moment Nazz said that, Jonny and Kevin looked at her teasingly before she recovered, "What? We always compare report cards!"

"Seriously, Cody! You'd make an awesome president!" Holly told him. "You're smart, passionate about your work, and you really have a thing with people!"

"She's right, Cody!" Maggie supported. "You'd be a great president! And you have the potential to be a leader! C'mon, dude! You can do it! We know you can! Right, guys?"

The other kids started talking positively as they said Cody's name. Eventually…

"All right! All right! I'll do it!" Cody caved with a smile. "I'll run! For you guys!"

The others cheered and gave him high-fives of encouragement and support.

* * *

In a hallway, Eddy, Ed, and Nate were laughing about their segment. Eddy held his stomach as Nate emitted some tears. On the walls around them were more presidential posters.

"Oh, God!" Eddy stood up straight. "Did you see the look on that lady's face when she looked through the window and saw everyone runnin'? Priceless!"

"I bet if we splashed the _pudding _on her and threw her in the oven, we'd be on _Jackass_!" Nate elbowed Eddy before the boys busted out laughing again.

"We should be reporters for real, guys!" Ed laughed. "We could find stories just about anywhere!"

"Or they could find us and save us gas on rentin' a van and paintin' channel five on it!" joked Eddy as he walked up to Ed and shaped his fingers into a square. "Story of the decade: Local teen finally grows chin!"

"Story of the century: E and Lee's wedding!" the off-screen Lee put her hand on Eddy's right shoulder before he turned around and saw the Kankers standing there smiling at him!

"AGH!" Nate yelped in fear as Eddy glared at the Kankers and Ed coldly uttered, "Kankers!"

"Why are you touchin' me?" Eddy angrily asked before he yanked away from Lee's grip.

"Just wanted to remind you about the junior/senior prom next week!" Lee smirked. "I don't have a date and you shouldn't either if your _date_ knows what's good for her!" Lee put her hand on Eddy's chest before he shoved her hand away and yelled, "Hey! Hey! No touchy!"

"Ooh!" Lee exclaimed turned-on. "Double D's not the only one with fire!"

"You just won't quit, will ya?" Eddy dusted his shirt. "Did it ever once occur to you that you three have absolutely nothin' that me, the lump, and Double D want?" The Kankers, especially Lee, angrily glared at Eddy! "Seriously, did our _run away _catchphrase not give you a hint? We don't…like…you! We can't even stand lookin' at'chu! The only way the thought of you bein' with me and my boys would even get in our heads would be if _you_ were to somehow get _special_ power over us! C'mon guys! Let's go get the others!" Eddy, Ed, and Nate turned around and walked away.

Marie started to walk up behind Eddy in anger, but was stopped by the equally angry, but in-control Lee, who yelled out to Eddy, "If that's a challenge, I'll take it! Cuz, sooner or later, one way or another, I get what I want! And I'll do whatever it takes to get it!"

"Whatever!" the annoyed Eddy replied as he continued to walk away with Ed and Nate.

"Even if it means gettin' rid of that blonde slut you like so much!" Lee finished before Eddy suddenly stopped walking the moment he heard Lee insult Nazz. He turned his head halfway back before he saw that the Kankers were still standing there glaring at him. He then continued to walk away with his friends. The Kankers then turned around to face each other.

"Y'know, I hate to admit it Lee, but yer spiky-haired boy toy is right!" Marie looked at Lee. "We've been chasin' those guys for a little more than a few years! And no matter how many times we kidnapped them or tried to arouse them, they wouldn't crack and/or someone would get in the way and ruin everything!"

"And I'm sick of seein' big Ed with that orange-haired tramp, Lee!" complained May. "Whadowe do if we can't go Kanker-style?"

"First, we get my man since this episode revolves around _me_ for a half part!" Lee started as she walked over to a wall with a presidential poster on it. "And we start, by takin' his advice on gettin' _special _power over him and his friends!" she took the poster off of the wall and smiled deviously before the screen faded to black.

* * *

Perhaps no more than two hours later, Cody was seen in Hector's office as being interviewed by the latter himself.

"Well, Angelo! You certainly are a colorful student!" Hector smiled. "You've retained a 4.0 G.P.A since the second grade! You've served as the substitute teacher for a sociology class despite lacking a diploma! And you've been co-captain of the debate team along with your cousin since your freshmen year! All of this exceeds the qualifications needed to be on the ballot! But there's just one more thing I need to know!"

"What's that, sir?" Cody asked.

"You're not afraid of being in front of tense people, are you?" Hector asked.

"No sir!" Cody answered. "When it comes to people, stage fright ain't got nothin' on me!"

"Then congratulations, sir!" Hector stuck his hand out to the boy. "You're on the ballot!"

"All right!" Cody excitedly said as he shook Hector's hand.

"But here's the thing!" Hector added. "You'll have only one week to campaign and tomorrow morning, you need to give your speech!"

"You got it! Later!" Cody stood up with a smile and walked out the door before Hector yelled, "NEXT!" and the screen shifted to the school's student parking lot, where it was now sunset and Kevin, Eddy, Nazz, Nate, Brooke, Ed, Holly, Edd, and Maggie were seen standing near Kevin's, Nazz's, and Ed's respective cars. Cody walked up to his friends, who looked at him hopefully.

Cody looked behind him for a second before he looked back at his friends and smirked, "I'm in!" The teens wildly cheered before Nate ran up to him and roughed his hair up!

"That's awesome, Cody!" Nazz yelled. "We just knew you'd get picked somehow!"

"And now that I did, I guess I better start plannin' on what to do for my campaign!" Cody shrugged.

"Way ahead of ya!" Kevin grinned.

"As Nazz initially said, we knew you would be selected into candidacy!" Edd added. "What _you_ need to focus on is your promotional speech!"

"Yeah! Don't sweat it, Kennedy!" Eddy put his arm around Cody's neck buddy-style. "Everything's taken care of! Nazz and Holly will make sure you get the entire female-body vote! Ed and Brooke will make posters and buttons! Nate and Kev got some stuff for the athletes! And me, Double D, and Maggie here got somethin' _extra_ special in mind for ya! Somethin' that'll make whatever guy yer up against wish that what happened to Lincoln, happened to him for not thinkin' it up!"

"What is it?" Cody asked excitedly.

"Can't tell ya!" Eddy gave Cody a noogie. "You just gotta trust us! We're gonna make this the best damn campaign ever! Right, guys?"

The other teens whooped and cheered as Cody smiled confidently!

"Now, let's get the hell outta here!" Eddy smiled as he walked over to his Camaro. "But first! Ladies! Give _Angelo_ a kiss good luck for the speech! Cheeks only!"

Nazz and Holly simultaneously ran up to Cody and kissed him on opposite cheeks before he blushed! Brooke kissed Cody on the forehead before Maggie kissed him on the nose!

"Easy!" Cody said surprised. "D's understanding, but he's still a guy in my family! Which means, he has an extreme side that you don't wanna see!"

Maggie chuckled before the cruiser's horn honked three times and several of the other teens' cars began to start up. In the driver's seat was Edd, who yelled with a grin, "Time is vital, Candidate Knight!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Just don't be paintin' my cruiser red, white, and blue!" Cody joked as he and Maggie walked towards the cruiser.

* * *

The screen shifted to the inside of Hector's office, where Hector himself was seen looking out the window as his students drove off one by one. Hector proudly looked at Cody as he got into the cruiser before a voice uttered, "Principal Caird?" and made him turn back around to face a brown-haired boy in a black suit.

"Oh, sorry Greg!" Hector apologized. "Well, you've aced all of your classes and passed all of your SATs, but you missed out on one too many days last year!"

"I had food poisoning!" Greg angrily argued.

"Sorry sir! But rules are rules!" Hector apologized. "I'm afraid you don't meet the qualifications! NEXT!"

Greg angrily walked out before Lee excitedly walked in.

"Lena?" Hector uttered surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Whadoya think?" Lee sat down. "I want in on the election! I want the power to make people do stuff they refuse to do!"

Hector looked at Lee like she said something wrong and just admitted it. With her and her sisters' reputations, it wasn't surprising.

"In terms of school, that is!" Lee recovered, but Hector shook his head from left to right. "What's that mean?" Lee asked angrily about Hector's head shaking.

"I'm not stupid, Lena!" Hector smirked. "On more than one occasion, you and your sisters have practically _proven_ that you have no intention of being here! Now, all of the sudden, _you_ want to run for education-based president? What's _really_ going on?"

"I just wanna make a few changes around here is all!" Lee answered. "Starting with a few _special_ students of yers! Who will remain nameless! Now, c'mon! Let's negotiate!"

"Lena! Here's the thing." Hector started. "Even if you do have a lot of creative ideas, which I'm sure that you and other members of your family do, you don't quite meet the qualifications! Even though you have improved tremendously, you still have some more fires you have to put out! If you didn't, I would be able to overlook the fact that you and your sisters have a rather…_ahem_…_dirty_ record!"

"So, yer sayin' you won't put me on the poll?" Lee stood up.

"I'm afraid I can't!" Hector answered. "I'm sorry!"

"Oh, don't tell it to me! MOM!" Lee yelled out of the door.

Ms. Kanker (**Breaking up is hard to Ed**) walked into the principal's office wearing only a silky red/black robe and appeared to have combed her hair so that her eyes could be seen!

"Raven, what are you still doing here?" Hector asked Ms. Kanker (Raven). "And in that?"

"Let's have a little conference!" Raven smirked as she untied her robe! "Grown-up…" the screen shifted to the back of her before she dropped her robe! "…to Grown-up!"

Hector stared at Raven with bug-eyes before he whispered, _"Holy Schnitzel_!_"_

"Looks like I'm not gonna be the only one with a _dirty _record!" Lee stepped outside of the door with her long hair covering her mom's butt in front of the camera! "Later!" Lee closed the door, took out her cell phone, and called Marie.

"_What's up, Lee?" _Marie asked on the other end.

"Mom's sealin' the deal with Caird! Now, it's time to discuss phase two!" Lee answered deviously before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen opened up on the inside of Cody's dining room, where Cody himself, Kim (**Get your Ed in the Game**), a little boy who resembled Edd's younger self (minus the hat), and Cody's dad was sitting at the family's round glass table. Cody's dad strongly resembled both his elder son and his brother, Cecil (Edd's father). His black hair was combed back and he had a goatee. He was wearing a yellow turtleneck sweater and a white lab coat that had an I.D. tag that read "Todd Knight: King Industries". Todd, Kim, and the little boy ate their fried fish while Cody wrote something down on an index card.

"Angelo, what did I say about doing homework at the dinner table?" Kim chastised Cody.

"Eating time is family time, but it's not homework, mom!" Cody replied. "It's for an election at school! I'm one of the two candidates and I need to-!"

"No way! _You_?" the little boy asked surprised.

"Why is that so surprising, Tiberius?" Kim said to her younger son (Tiberius). "He _is _your father's son! Can you tell us who you're up against, Angelo?"

"Don't know! And don't care!" replied Cody with a confident smile. "Cuz whoever they are, if they don't pull out, they're goin' down…Hard!"

"That's my boy!" Todd laughed. "You outta put that as your slogan, but with stronger words like…"Balls or brains!" Which do you have, cuz ya can't have both if you're running against me!"!"

"Todd!" Kim chastised her husband as she put her hands on Tiberius' ears before the latter and Cody laughed.

"So, what are you going to rap about?" Todd asked Cody.

"Well, I got on mainly to talk about school lunches! They're terrible!" Cody replied.

"That's it?" Todd raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah, why?" Cody asked.

"If you want to win that election, then you got to give a lot more beef than that!" Todd told Cody. "Don't some schools have other problems like bullying or upsetting rumors?"

"At _my_ school, not often!" Cody answered.

"Well, surely you know that it's not just your school that's tied into this election." Kim told Cody.

"Of course I—say what?" Cody uttered surprise.

"You mean you _didn't_ know?" Todd asked his firstborn, who nodded "no". Kim shook her head from left to right as Tiberius laughed at Cody's embarrassment.

"In Peach Creek, the effects of education-based elections go beyond one school, Angelo!" explained Todd. "And because J. Wootton High school, AKA _your_ school, has been deemed the most exceptional in the area, the board of education have decided ages ago that a student president must be elected there!"

"Once elected, the student president must discuss the issues with the Board of Education themselves!" added Kim. "So, you'll have to repeat your speech in a businessman-like tone!"

"Oh, man!" Cody sweated before he began to chuckle. Almost as if he got a thrill out of what his parents had just told him!

"Being an education-based president is no laughing matter, Angelo!" Kim said. "You think-"

"I'm laughing because—Heh! Heh!" Cody started. "Years ago, I was just some kid born and bred in Kiwi Springs! Didn't have anymore than four or…five friends…and only one of them a girl! Now, I'm…a member of the in-crowd and have way more friends and a chance to…take on a new responsibility! For not just them…but for teens everywhere else!"

Todd and Kim looked proudly at their firstborn while Tiberius rolled his eyes and groaned, "Ugh! Teen drama!"

* * *

The screen cut to the night sky before it slowly transitioned into the daytime sky of the next day. The screen moved down to J. Wootton high school before it shifted to the inside. A freshman kid with an un-pictured newspaper in his hand shouted, "EXTRA! EXTRA! ANGELO KNIGHT DARES TO RUN AGAINST A KANKER!"

Almost every teenager in a hallway had a newspaper in their hand and started talking about Cody in excitement.

* * *

The screen cut to the principal's office, where Eddy and Cody were angrily glaring at Hector before they shouted in unison, "YOU DID WHAT?"

"Um…I guess I was wrong for bringing you up here to explain to you why, huh?" Hector asked nervously.

"I don't know what makes me madder; you makin' a candidate out of a Kanker or you screwin' the one who gave birth to 'em!" Cody shouted.

"I'm a very lonely man, Angelo!" Hector justified.

"Do you have any idea how stupid that was of you?" Eddy shouted angrily. "Is gettin' laid for the first time in yer life worth sendin' yer students to hell?"

"Now, you listen to me-" Hector stood up in anger.

"No, you listen to me!" Eddy yelled. "Now that'chu gave 'em a chance, the Kankers can and _will_ start harassin' and corruptin' people into votin' for Lee! Half the chaos is durin' the campaign! The other half will be like the fuckin' apocalypse, man! Hope the herpes was worth it! C'mon, Cody!"

Eddy and Cody walked towards the door with the latter looking back at Hector in disappointment while Hector just folded his arms.

* * *

Meanwhile, Harvey (the nerdy kid from **Get your Ed in the game**) was walking down a hallway before the door to a girls' bathroom swung open and someone grabbed him and pulled him in! The next thing that could be heard was several punching noises and a big crash. Next, Marie walked out of the bathroom while counting several dollars in her hands!

* * *

On a side of the school, Lee was leaning against the dumpster before Marie and May showed up.

"What took ya?" Lee joked. "I slept with Clinton and left years ago!"

"Oh, shut it, Lewinsky!" Marie smirked.

"You get the school geeks' green?" Lee asked seriously before both May and Marie went into their respective pockets and held out a wad of cash in each hand! "Make sure that ain't yer lunch money this time, May!"

"What makes you think I eat lunch here?" May asked. "They don't even serve _food_! Yer man and mine proved it!"

"So, whadoya need this stuff for, again?" Marie asked as she and May handed Lee the cash.

"OH BOYS!" Lee shouted over to the next corner before a gang showed up.

The gang consisted of five muscular boys who stood at least 5'9 and each wore a short-sleeve black shirt with a skull-in-crossbones on it, torn black jeans, and dirty sneakers. The gang consisted of a mixed kid, two Caucasian kids (one with blonde hair and the other with red), a black kid, and a Hispanic kid.

"Whadoya need this time, Lee?" the mixed boy asked before Lee made an evil facial expression.

* * *

On the football field, Eddy and Cody stood in front of Kevin, Jonny, Nazz, Ed, Edd, Rolf, Nate, Brooke, Holly, Maggie, Jimmy, and Sarah (who were all sitting on the bleachers) as they (Eddy and Cody) explained the issue. Just then, the kids on the bleachers started to groan in disgust and anger.

"See that proves that guys who work at schools can't get some _real_ booty!" Nate joked before half the teens on the bleachers laughed.

"That's not the point, Nate!" Eddy started. "This just got serious! If you thought that watchin' 'em torture and smack four or five people around, then imagine what would happen if they were in charge of everyone here! That's almost a thousand people!"

"976 to be exact!" Edd added.

"Not the time, Sockhead!" Eddy yelled. "We gotta kick Cody's campaign into high gear! That means no socializin' and no half-assin'!"

"He's right!" Cody stepped up. "For the next week, I need you guys to encourage people to vote for me! Cuz the speech I gave this mornin' is obviously not gonna be enough! Those of you that I talked to yesterday, I need you to get hall passes and use your study hall time if ya have to! Sarah! Rolf! I need you guys to kick some corrupted asses that might be working for the Kankers!"

"Yes!" Sarah exclaimed excitedly as Jimmy looked at her worried.

"But Jimmy, make sure she doesn't go overboard and bite!" Ed added before Jimmy gave Ed a thumbs up while Sarah pouted.

"So, what're you all waitin' for?" Cody yelled. "Get to it!"

"YES SIR!" the boys yelled before the teens all rushed off of the bleachers and headed back towards the school.

* * *

As music played in the background, a montage of the campaign for the passing week began. In a hallway filled with students, Brooke passed out posters and orange buttons with the words "VOTE CODY" on them while riding on a speeding wheelbarrow pushed by Ed.

* * *

Meanwhile, Cody was sitting in front a camera in Mr. Abrams' Video Production class (**What an Ed wants**) and appeared to be smiling while doing an interview as the montage music continued.

* * *

Elsewhere, Marie was holding a sophomore kid against a wall with her fist drawn-back before May showed up and held up a pink button that read "VOTE LEE" on it. The frightened kid shook his head "yes" before May put the button on him as Marie put him down, patted his head, and walked off with May.

* * *

In the girls' locker room, Nazz (not yet in their gym clothes) was telling the other girls (not the other cheerleaders) to vote for Cody as Holly held up a poster of him. Holly then said something that made the girls look at each other before they smiled and agreed to vote for him as they clapped. Nazz and Holly smiled at each other before they gave each other a high-five.

* * *

Elsewhere, Cody was giving a speech to a class of about 25 freshmen, as he held up the same container of "food" that Ed had in his segment before he set it down and held up a poster of Lee and the freshmen suddenly ran behind their respective seats in fear before they all held up their "VOTE LEE" buttons! Cody looked down in disappointment before the black female teacher touched his shoulder.

* * *

During a football practice session, Kevin and Nate talked to the all of the football players (save for the absent Eddy, Jonny, Ed, and Twan) and all of the cheerleaders (save for the Bombshells and Brooke) about the election as the former held up a "VOTE CODY" button. Just then, Nate took out a remote control-like device and pressed a button before the screen shifted to the sky and a big gray blimp that read in blue neon colors "VOTE CODY!" Due to their interest in sports, the players and the cheerleaders took a liking to the blimp and Kevin and Nate gave each other some dap. But on the roof of the school, Marie angrily looked at the blimp while May looked at it with binoculars and a goofy smile. Marie then grabbed May and shaped her into a javelin EEnE-style before she (Marie) threw her (May) at the blimp with great force. May punctured a big hole right through the blimp before it descended towards Kevin, Nate, and the others! The cheerleaders and football players saw this and dodged out of the way before the confused Kevin and Nate turned around, developed bug-eyes and dodged out of the way as well! The blimp hit the bleachers and exploded; destroying both the bleachers and the blimps remains! Kevin growled as Nate punched the ground while Marie smiled deceitfully as she looked at the damage via May's binoculars!

* * *

Inside of Eddy's vice coach lounge (**Get your Ed in the game**), the skull-in-crossbones gang that met with the Kankers earlier (now all wearing "VOTE LEE" buttons) were cracking their knuckles and grinning mischievously as they stared at a group of seven seniors (four boys and three girls), who looked at the gang in fear. The moment the gang walked towards the seniors they heard a door shut behind them. They turned around and saw Rolf with his sleeves up and his muscles showing, Sarah pounding her fists together, and Jimmy standing there with a smirk on his face and one hand behind his back. The gang walked towards Rolf and Sarah and vice versa before the screen shifted to the outside of the door. Next, the screen shook violently for a few seconds before it shifted to the inside of the lounge and showed the unscathed Rolf and Sarah standing victoriously over the defeated and horrifically bruised skull-in-crossbones gang as they (Rolf and Sarah) shook hands with the grateful seniors one by one. Jimmy walked up to them with a small box of "VOTE CODY" buttons, which they happily took one by one before the screen transitioned to Edd and Maggie and the musical montage ended.

* * *

Both Edd and Maggie were seen wearing masks as they used blowtorches for something off-screen. Despite the blowtorches making a lot of noise, Edd and Maggie were able to hear the door bang three times before the turned off their respective torches and pulled their masks up.

"GUYS, ARE YOU THERE? OPEN UP! IT'S ME! CODY!" Cody banged on the door as Edd and Maggie looked at each other in bug-eyed fear before the screen shifted to Cody on the opposite side. "GUYS! OPEN UP!"

Just then, the door cracked open and part of Edd's face could be seen through it. "Greetings, Candidate Knight!"

"What's up with you?" Cody asked. "Lemme in!"

"I'm afraid that I cannot do that, sir!" Edd continued. "We have yet to complete the dependable victory portion of your campaign! And Eddy insists that we don't let you in until that time!"

"Well, where is he?" Cody asked as he folded his arms. "Can I at least talk to him?"

"I'm afraid he has his metaphorical hands tied as well! My apologies!" Edd added.

Cody sighed before he uttered, "Look, I just wanted to remind you guys that tomorrow is when the votes all get tallied! But half the school didn't even vote because they're either scared of the Kankers or they're worried about disappointing me when they know we have faith in each other! I'm startin' to think that this whole education-based president thing was a bad idea!"

"Cody…!" Edd stepped out of the door and closed it slightly. "…I've never known you to be the kind of person to relinquish your efforts so quickly. Aside from that…didn't you anticipate that by being put into this position that things would only challenge you?"

Cody looked down in disappointment. He may have been a genius, but he still had a lot to learn about Peach Creek and its people even after three years. "Guess not!"

"As I said before, worry not!" Edd put his hand on Cody's shoulder. "We ALL have the utmost faith in you regardless of the fear that the Kankers' reputation have stricken within many of our hearts! So, you can rest with that knowledge as your solace!"

Cody smirked and nodded before he walked off and Edd walked back into the workshop before he faced Maggie with a worried facial expression.

"What?" Maggie asked concerned.

"We need to speak with Eddy!" replied Edd before the screen shifted to the inside of the dark tech booth, where a light blue-haired girl in a white bra and panties was seen on top of and making out with a shirtless Eddy on a couch! Just then, three knocks came at the door before Maggie yelled, "EDDY! IT'S MAGGIE! WE NEED TO TALK!"

Eddy touched the girl's face and ceased making out with her before he unwillingly sighed, "Oh, great! Wreck the mood why don't'cha!" Eddy said to Maggie. "Can you excuse me?" Eddy asked the girl.

"_You owe me every second you're not on this couch!" _she whispered before the screen shifted to the outside of the door, where Maggie continued to bang on the door as Edd stood behind her.

"What?" Eddy frowned when he opened the door to look at his friends. Eddy had kiss marks on his face, chest, and abs and his jeans were partially unzipped.

"Cody, just came by and told us that half the school didn't vote yet!" Maggie explained.

"Also adding that the Kankers have been frightening the voters to the point of physical abuse…as you and he predicted!" Edd added.

"Oh, man!" Eddy looked down. "And the tally party's tomorrow, ain't it?"

"Well, the votes are in the computer, so Caird and the faculty know exactly who voted and who didn't!" Maggie uttered.

"Which means, whoever hasn't submitted their vote will be forced to attend the tally party or risk elongated suspension or record-tarnishing expulsion!" Edd added.

"But it's not gonna matter if we don't get this job done!" Eddy said. "Have you guys-"

"_Oh, Eddy!" _the light blue-haired girl called out to him lustfully! _"I'm getting antsy!" _

"Just do what'cha gotta do as fast as possible and call me later!" Eddy ordered before Edd and Maggie nodded their respective heads and walked away before Eddy stuck his head back inside the tech booth and closed the door before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened on the inside of the Wootton cafeteria the next night, where there were tables of food and drinks and balloons of read, white, and blue colors all around as well as posters that read "VOTE CODY AND VOTE LEE" neighboring many of them. All of the kids who didn't vote (which were quite a few) were there in casual clothes as well as the faculty members. Among them were Marie, May, Nazz, Holly, Ed, Kevin, Brooke, and Nate (who had his arms around Brooke's waist as he stood behind her), who were also dressed casually.

"Remind me again why we're here?" Kevin asked. "We already voted!"

"We need to be here to comfort Cody if things get too intense for him!" Nazz answered.

"By the way, where are Rolf, Jimmy, Jonny, and Sarah?" asked Brooke.

"Jonny had to work late and Rolf had chores!" answered Kevin.

"Sarah and Jimmy got a few big tests next week, so they gotta study all weekend!" Ed answered on his sister's behalf.

"What about Eddy, Maggie, and Double D?" Holly asked.

"Probably gettin' ready for that big thing they were gloatin' about last week!" Nate guessed.

"_EVERONE!" _Hector uttered via a microphone before the cul-de-sac kids turned around and saw the former standing on the cafeteria's large stage and behind a podium with a laptop on it and closed red curtains in the background. Next to him were two podiums with microphones on them. _"I WANNA THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING! LIKE MOST OF YOU HAD A CHOICE!" _

Nate looked at Hector confused before he (Nate) whispered _"Lame-ass!"_ to Brooke, who giggled softly.

"_I DON'T INTEND TO HOLD YOU LONG, SO LET'S GO AHEAD AND GET STARTED!" _Hector continued and motioned for the faculty members to walk around and hand the students TV remote-control-like devices in small boxes. _"WHAT THE FACULTY MEMBERS ARE HANDING YOU ARE CLICKERS THAT WILL TRANSFER YOUR VOTE TO MY COMPUTER SCREEN! IF YOU HAVE ALREADY SUBMITTED YOUR VOTE AND ARE JUST HERE TO OBSERVE YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD THEY WIN, THEN SIT TIGHT! AND NOW, YOUR CANDIDATES FOR THIS YEAR'S EDUCATION-BASED PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ARE…ANGELO KNIGHT…" _The crowd applauded as Cody walked out on stage with a nervous smile and was wearing a blue suit, a white dress shirt, and a red tie.

"…_AND LENA KANKER!" _Hector finished before the crowd started booing as Lee walked up to her podium with a smile on her face and was wearing a long blue dress. As the crowd continued to boo, Marie ran up on stage and in front of Lee's podium before she yelled, _"SHUT IT!" _and everyone piped down out of fear!

"_THANK YOU, MARIE!" _Hector looked at Marie in annoyance. _"NOW, SUBMIT YOUR VOTES SO I CAN GO HOME AND-" _

"RENT 70s PLAYBOY MAGAZINES?" Nate joked before he and the kids in the room all laughed.

"_OH, THAT'S VERY FUNNY, BENNETT!" _Hector coldly looked at Nate. _"WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING WHEN YOUR NEXT PROGRESS REPORT COMES OUT!" _

Nate glared at Hector before the latter continued, _"NOW, BEFORE YOU SUBMIT YOUR VOTES, WE WILL SEE IF THE CANDIDATES HAVE ANY LAST WORDS TO SAY! CANDIDATE KNIGHT?" _

"_I JUST WANNA SAY…THAT IF I DON'T WIN…I'M STILL GONNA FIGHT HARD FOR YOUR RIGHTS AND PRIVILAGES!" _Cody spoke. _"CUZ TO ME, THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN BEING PRESIDENT…ANY DAY!" _

The kids all looked at one another and mumbled in approval.

"_WELL SAID!" _Hector smiled. _"CANDIDATE KANKER?" _

Lee cleared her throat before she yelled into the mike, _"VOTE FOR ME OR ELSE I'LL HAVE YOU ALL FUCKED UP!" _

The kids (not the cul-de-sac kids) developed fearful facial expressions and began voting for Lee one by one! Cody looked down and shook his head from left to right in disappointment. Unbeknownst to them all, Maggie was watching the whole thing via a hole in the curtains before she turned around to face Eddy and Edd. The latter wore an earpiece with a microphone on it.

"We're losing them! It's time!" Maggie smirked.

"You heard 'er, man!" Eddy slapped Edd on the shoulder. "OKAY, GUYS! C'MON OUT!"

Just then, the lights slowly turned off before the red curtains began to open before Hector, Cody, and Lee turned around and looked into the black background in confusion. Second later, rock music played lowly before it intensified when two mushroom-fashioned explosions occurred on the corners of the stage and a giant unlit neon sign that read "VOTE CODY" could be seen on the wall! At the same time, 24 girls began doing a rather sexual dance routine as the kids (mostly the boys) cheered! All 24 girls were wearing small blue sports-bra-like tank tops (that showed a lot of cleavage) with white stars on them, red panties-like shorts, and tall white boots with heels. Lee uttered, "What the hell?"

"I didn't authorize this!" Hector shouted!

To the rhythm, the girls swung their hips and danced in a grinding fashion before they rotated into one gathering where half the girls squatted and the other half stood up as they all pointed their hands to the unlit "VOTE CODY" neon sign that lit up yellow in an explosive fashion and the music ceased. The kids cheered wildly as the girls began to run to the back. As the lights turned back on, Eddy walked out backstage left with a smile on his face and a cup of root beer in his hand. As he yelled "WHAT'S UP, VOTERS?", the girls that were not onstage screamed happily when they saw Eddy!

"Gates!" Hector uttered coldly. "I should've known you were behind-"

" 'Scuse me, Prince!" Eddy interrupted as he took the microphone from Hector and put his arm around Cody. _"THE KNIGHT STARS EVERYBODY!" _Eddy pointed to the now-off-screen dancers (the Knight stars). A girl yelled "I LOVE YOU, EDDY!" before Eddy continued, _"PLEASE, IT'S NOT ABOUT ME…THIS TIME!" _

Eddy developed a serious facial expression before the kids quieted down and he continued, _"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE KNIGHT STARS! HELL, IT'S NOT EVEN ABOUT THE DAMN ELECTION! IT'S ABOUT… CHOICES! THE CHOICES THAT'CHU MAKE ARE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE! AND MY FRIEND RIGHT HERE, ANGELO, OR CODY, CHOSE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT NOT BECAUSE OF THE **POWER**…" _Eddy angrily looked at Lee, who squeezed her breasts at him as she smiled! _"…BUT BECAUSE HE CARES! THIS GIRL…" _Eddy pointed to Lee._ "LENA KANKER HAS JUST PROVEN TO YOU THAT SHE BARELY GIVES A DAMN FOR BEING HERE! I MEAN, C'MON! SCARING PEOPLE INTO VOTING FOR HER? THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO SHOULD REPRESENT THIS SCHOOL AND OTHER! ALL I ASK IS FOR YOU ALL TO DECIDE BETWEEN MAKING THE SEEMINGLY SMART CHOICE…OR THE RIGHT ONE! I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO FOLLOW MY LEAD, BUT MY VOTE GOES TO…CODY KNIGHT!" _Eddy finished before he held his root beer up toast-style and sipped it.

He walked off-stage and stood near the stage's front before many of the kids looked at each other and nodded with a smile before they simultaneously began typing something on their clickers. Hector walked up to his laptop and developed a surprised facial expression. He began typing vigorously until he took the microphone from Eddy and spoke up.

"_UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT ALL OF THE VOTES ARE NOW IN AND WE CAN PROCEED WITH TALLYING THEM UP!" _Hector started before dramatic music started playing. _"LENA KANKER…" _Lee and her sisters had their respective fingers crossed before Hector continued… _"YOU NOW HAVE…FOUR HUNDRED AND NINE VOTES!" _The Kankers gestured "YES" before Hector continued, _"ANGELO KNIGHT…" _Cody looked at the principal before he (Hector) continued, _"YOU NOW HAVE…"_ Cody began to sweat before the camera switched to Eddy, to Edd and Maggie, and to the cul-de-sac kids as the dramatic music intensified and Hector uttered, _"FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY-SEVEN VOTES! YOU WIN!" _

Everyone (except for the enraged Kankers) cheered wildly while Cody himself smiled and put his arms up like he just won a wrestling match! The cul-de-sac kids were especially going wild. Nate rubbed his face between Brooke's neck and shoulder, Holly was singing indistinctly while on Ed's shoulders, while Nazz and Kevin ran up to Eddy with the former jumping towards him before he caught her and held her with both arms around her waist.

"Badass speech, Roosevelt!" Kevin gave Eddy some dap. "Maybe _you_ shoulda ran!"

"No way!" Eddy put Nazz down as Cody walked off stage before Eddy grabbed him and gave him a noogie as he continued, "I'm prouda ya, Jack! I'd throw you a party, but'chu gotta go to the head honchos near the city in the mornin'!"

"And it's all thanks to you!" Cody thanked Eddy before the group began to walk towards their friends. "But how the hell were you able to get 24 girls to learn a dance routine _and_ build that neon sign in a week?"

"Rebellious protagonists have their ways, Kennedy!" Eddy smirked before all four of them walked up to their friends (now joined by Edd and Maggie) and began a conversation before the screen shifted to the still-angered Kankers!

"This is all _your_ fault!" Marie strangled May.

"How is it my fault?" May asked choked.

"I dunno! It just is!" Marie frowned. "It ALWAYS is!"

"Marie, put her down! Now!" Lee ordered before Marie dropped May off the stage. "I need to think!"

"About what? It's over! We've lost!" Marie reminded Lee. "You can forget about gettin' Eddy this round! Once Double D's cousin says that speech to the board guys, Kanker-style will be outta style!"

"But he can't make that speech, if he never makes it, can he?" Lee smiled at Marie mischievously before she (Marie) smiled back knowingly and the screen cut to black.

**

* * *

****Phoenix's note: I had Eddy make references to the 35****th**** president, John F. Kennedy (by calling Cody "Kennedy" and "Jack" [one of his nicknames]), because believe it or not, Kennedy is my favorite president after I studied him in middle school (even though I still don't pay attention to political drama). The dancers that Eddy rounded up, "The Knight Stars" were named for Cody himself and for the stars on the American flag. The kid that Hector turned away earlier, "Greg", is named after "Greg Cipes": my ideal voice actor for Cody.**

**

* * *

****Next half, prepare yourself for some breathtaking sequences—Actionphoenix260-style! **


	14. Hail to the Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's Note: **Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to learn why my name is Actionphoenix260 in this epic, thrilling chapter! And remember, if you read you HAVE TO review!

* * *

The screen opened up the following morning in a hallway where many teens stood on the sides as they applauded and the camera slowly started moving towards the door with a light at the end. When the camera reached the light, the screen transferred to the other side as the light slowly faded and the smiling Cody (who now wore a dolce black suit with a tie in the vein of the American flag's design) looked at his cruiser. In front of his cruiser was Hector and Edd, who uttered, "Good morning, Mr. President!"

"You my chauffer?" Cody smiled as he walked to the cruiser.

"If by that you mean your personal escort to the council building housing the Board of Education, then yes sir!" Edd replied before Hector opened the door to the backseat. Just before Cody could step in, the three males hear some commotion in the building. Next, they saw Eddy, Kevin, Ed, and Nate, who were all wearing black sunglasses, emerge from the building as they subdued the school's reporters and photographers by pushing the doors against them! They all yelled, "WE JUST WANNA ASK HIM SOMETHING! HEY! HEY! COME ON! PRESIDENT KNIGHT!" until the quartet successfully shut the door completely and the commotion was muffled. As they walked down…

"I can't believe how early those cock-suckers get up!" Kevin brushed his shirt off.

"What was that all about?" Cody lifted his eyebrow.

"Paparazzi! Good thing we got the big guy here!" Eddy tapped Ed's shoulder. "Otherwise all this would be-"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Hector stepped in front of the quartet. "Where do you four think you're going?"

"Ain't it obvious?" Nate looked over his sunglasses. "We're Secret Service! We're not wearin' suits because the writer/director doesn't like bein' cliché'!"

"Secret service? Wha-!" Hector pinched his forehead. "May I remind you delinquents that Mr. Knight here is the president of-?"

"The United Schools of Peach Creek! Big deal!" Ed replied. "Bad things can happen on the road no matter where you are or who you are! I once got into a car accident in my power wheels when I was 5!"

"That's cuz you were stupid enough to try and imitate the Dukes of Hazard!" Kevin reminded him.

"You're not going! End of discussion!" Hector yelled.

"Y'know, I really wonder what would happen if someone were to give an inside tip to Superintendent Cheney about a certain principal allowing himself to be seduced by the civilian matriarch of President Knight's former competitor!" Eddy smirked.

"You can't prove that!" Hector defended.

"Really? You _really _wanna say that to somebody like me?" Eddy raised his right eyebrow. "Someone who's got people and connections? And people with connections? You don't wanna go there! Trust me! So, you can either let me and my boys here do some bodyguard work or I'll make what happened a week ago a scandalous frenzy you'll never forget!"

Hector looked at Eddy with a sarcastic grin as he walked towards him and uttered, "I really, really, REALLY, hate you!"

"Good man!" Eddy smiled. Just before the five boys could get into the cruiser…

"Wait up, guys!" Nazz and Holly ran out the double doors and towards the boys.

"Sorry girls! No civilians!" Ed put his hand in front of Nazz and Holly.

"We're not civilians!" Nazz told Ed.

"Yeah, we've got bodyguard skills too!" Holly added.

"Why would Cody need _dolls _to protect him when he's got athletes slash born fighters?" Kevin scoffed. This enraged Holly to the point where she kicked Kevin in the groin and made him fall to his knees in pain!

"Lesson number one, bro!" Eddy started. "_Never_ say somethin' like that to someone who can get to yer jawbreakers just like that!"

"Welcome to the force, ladies!" Nate handed the each of the girls a pair of sunglasses, which they happily took!

"Now, let's get on the road!" Eddy smirked. "School starts in a few hours!"

Holly and Nazz stepped into the cruiser first, which now strongly resembled the inside of a limo! It had three long sofa-like black seats all around as well as two rectangular windows and a retractable sunroof! Cody sat in the middle of the first sofa with Eddy and Nate sitting with him on opposite sides. Nazz and Holly sat together on the right sofa while Ed and Kevin (who still held his crotch) sat together on the left sofa. Hector stuck his head into the cruiser before he uttered, "You have a safe trip, Mr. President! And remember: if they're not doing their job, please let me know so that I can have the pleasure of punishing them!"

"_You_ need to be punished after thinkin' what you had last week _was_ pleasure!" Nate joked before everyone laughed hysterically and Hector angrily slammed the door.

The screen cut to the outside before the cruiser drove off the curb and onto the street. Unbeknownst to them, the mixed crossbones gang leader was watching them the whole time via binoculars and had a walky-talky in his hand.

"Jackasses just left the stable!" he said into the walky before the screen shifted to the inside of the Kankers' trailer, where Lee and her smiling sisters were seen sitting at their kitchen table with their own respective walky-talkies. Marie replied via her own walky, "Thanks, Maurice!" before she looked at Lee.

"_Whadoya wanna do first?" _the mixed kid (Maurice) asked on the other end.

"Head 'em off!" Lee smirked.

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to a street that the cruiser was driving down. Inside, Nazz and Holly were looking at magazines named, "Fashion for the Overfashionable", Ed and Kevin were respectively playing a video game on a portable PSP and listening to alternative rock music on a black ipod, while Eddy and Nate respectively sipped on bottles of JD as Cody laid his head back and closed his eyes as he smiled confidently. Edd saw this via the rearview mirror and uttered, "Care to explain why you are in a relaxed position before making your beneficial proposal, President Knight?"

"Be outta character if I wasn't!" Cody smiled before he suddenly developed bug-eyes and held his crotch! He stomped on his floor and shivered before Nate asked, "What's up, Reagan?"

"I gotta use the bathroom! Now!" Cody replied.

"You gotta be kiddin' me!" Eddy raised his left eyebrow. "We're almost halfway there! You can't hold it 'til then?"

"I doubt the board members of the will allow him to utilize a perhaps nonexistent lavatory, Eddy!" Edd spoke.

"Fine! Pull us up to that old gas station right there!" Eddy rolled his eyes before Edd uttered, "Far ahead of you, Eddy!"

Edd pulled up to and parked in front of a gas station that had only a blue Ford Explorer occupying it. Kevin took out his headphones and wondered why they stopped.

"All right, Holly, Kev, escort Truman here to the bathroom, will ya?" Eddy sat back and smiled.

"Whoa! Whoa! Why do I have to go?" Holly asked confused.

"Cuz as head of security…I said so!" the smirking Eddy raised his left eyebrow. "Should't be a problem for you cuz I recall a lot of girls finding presidential dick attractive!"

Ed, Nate, and Kevin snickered while Nazz and Holly rolled their eyes in annoyance and Cody uttered, "No one's watchin' me piss! Just stand outside the door!"

"Fine!" Holly sighed unwillingly.

The cruiser's door opened before Kevin walked out with Cody and Holly right behind him. They walked up to the front door, but Kevin discovered that as he tugged on the door, it wouldn't open.

"Locked!" Kevin pointed out. "Better use the one in the back!"

The trio walked off-screen and to the back of the building. Inside the cruiser, "Eddy, don't you think that you're pushing this whole president thing a little too far with the security escort and all that?"

"Guys like Cody got situations handled! For them, there ain't no "I'll try" or "I did the best I could"!" Eddy smirked. "No! Cody's the key to our health insurance at that fuckin' asylum we call school! Least we can do is make sure he gets only the best of the best to keep him cool before he does the job!"

"Oh, I can taste it already, Eddy!" Nate razzed. "Hamburgers that are actually dead and cooked and ice cream that's _not _just frozen sour milk with last-minute flavor spice! Hate to meet the dumbass that had even a scoopa that shit!"

Ed's stomach suddenly growled monstrously before he looked at it and then the screen.

* * *

On the other side of the building, Kevin was tugging on the back door of the men's bathroom, but it wouldn't budge!

"Damn, what's with these doors?" Holly uttered.

"Don't know! But I got some business to do one way or another!" Cody as he walked up to the door.

"Aw, dude!" Kevin said in disgust. "Yer not gonna-"

"Just look the other way 'til I'm done!" Cody unzipped his pants.

Kevin and Holly looked in the other direction before the latter whispered to herself out loud, _"Boys are so gross!" _

"_Yet'chu like the guy who eats meat and chocolate at once…without utinsels…or hands!" _Kevin retorted.

"_Call me a crazy chick, Kev…cuz I am!" _Holly replied.

"_That explains SO much!" _Kevin tauntingly smirked as Holly glared at him.

Unbeknownst to the trio, someone was watching them from on top of the building just as Cody zipped up his pants and yelled to Kevin and Holly, "Let's go!"

But as the trio made their way down the street, three muscular boys (one brown-haired one, one bald-headed one, and one Hispanic one; who were all oddly wearing the same clothes as the crossbones gang in the last chapter) fell from the building's off-screen roof and landed right in front of them! The brown-haired one in the middle grinned malevolently, "Go where?"

"Get out the way, low-life!" Kevin shouted.

"Not 'till we have a diplomatic chat with Hoover right there!" the brown-haired thug cracked his knuckles as he looked at Cody.

"I don't think you heard me!" Kevin took off his sunglasses as he and Holly walked up to the thugs.

"No, I don't think _you_ heard _me_! DID YOU?" the thugs each pulled out a pocketknife!

"Oh, shit!" Kevin exclaimed before he threw his sunglasses at the brown-haired kid, who knocked them away and quickly realized that it was a distraction when Kevin gave him a powerful uppercut and knocked him down! Prompting this, Kevin stabbed him in the knee with his (the brown-haired kid) own pocketknife to keep him from getting back up. The bald-headed thug on his (Kevin's) right lunged at him with his (the bald thug's) knife, but Kevin saw this and caught his arm immediately. The Hispanic thug was about to stab the occupied Kevin from behind until Holly intervened by jumping up in the air and punching him down before she took his pocketknife from him! Kevin then kicked the bald thug in the groin before he elbowed him in the back and took his pocketknife from him!

"RUN!" Kevin shouted before he, Cody, and Holly made a run for the cruiser! Right when the cruiser was in their sights, they shouted, "DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!"

From inside the cruiser, Eddy and the others heard their friends screams, looked out the window, and saw Kevin, Holly, and Cody running towards them with bug-eyes!

"Huh-?" Ed uttered as Kevin, Cody, and Holly continued running and screaming, "DRIVE! DRIVE! DRI-UGH!" Kevin, Holly, and Cody were suddenly tackled to the ground by four crossbones thugs!

"What the-?" Eddy exclaimed before there was a sudden thud on the cruiser's roof just as five more crossbones thugs surrounded the cruiser!

"AMBUSH!" Ed dropped his PSP just before the cruiser's door opened up and an Indian-American thug grinned at the group sinisterly as he shouted, "Outta the car, bit-OOHH!" Eddy kicked the thug in the face before he (Eddy) swung out of the cruiser Tarzan-style and landed on the roof! Next, he kicked the thug on the roof in the back of the knee and made him fall on his face. As Eddy kicked him off of the roof, Kevin shouted as he fought two thugs, "EDDY, GET OUTTA HERE! WE'LL HOLD 'EM OFF! YOU GOTTA GET CODY OUTTA HERE, NOW! GO!"

Eddy looked at his friend reluctantly before the latter yelled as he put one thug in a headlock, "YOU KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS, EDDY! YOU KNOW! NOW GO!"

Eddy jumped off of the roof and saw Ed, Nate, and Nazz punching away several thugs that were trying to get in at the same time Cody was! Eddy looked at Kevin one more time before Holly shouted, "JUST GO!" as she fought off some thugs!

"HOLLY!" Ed emotionally tried to run out of the cruiser to get Holly, but was subdued by Nate and Nazz, who yelled, "ED, NO!"

"DOUBLE D, DRIVE NOW!" Eddy ordered before Edd fearfully shifted gears and floored the vehicle out of the gas station as several thugs tried unsuccessfully to catch up on foot!

Kevin smashed one thug's head against the window of the Ford Explorer just before another thug grabbed Kevin's shoulder, turned him around, and punched him onto the ground!

"Now I'm mad!" Kevin spat before he got back up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Edd was driving the cruiser down expressway as he avoided and evaded many cars that were honking their horns at him. He apologized "PARDON ME! EXCUSE ME!" as Cody yelled, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"I shoulda known Lee wasn't gonna take losin' that election sittin' down!" Eddy yelled. "Looks like she's tryin' _extra_ hard to keep Kanker-style in style…by makin' sure you don't make it to the Board's office!"

"That was the crossbones gang she sent!" Nate cracked his knuckles. "Which means, Maurice is on the bitch's payroll, too!"

Just then, there was a large, simultaneous THUMP on both sides of the cruiser that made everyone on the inside grunt loudly.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Ed shouted as a brown van and a gray minivan respectively rode up on the left and right sides of the cruiser! Their drivers were both black kids that were about seventeen and were, of course, members of the crossbones gang! Both kids grinned sinisterly as they rammed against the cruiser and made Nazz, Cody, and Eddy fall to the floor!

"STAY DOWN!" Eddy yelled at Cody as the gang members continued to ram against the vehicle!

Right then, three thugs (all black) emerged from the van just as two (one Hispanic, one Caucasian) emerged from the minivan and jumped onto the cruiser with the Hispanic kid landing on the cruiser's hood and banged on the windshield with a crowbar! Edd screamed, "EDDY! I THINK IT IS TIME FOR US TO CONTACT THE AUTHORITIES!"

"FUCK THAT! THIS IS A MATTER OF EDUCATIONAL SECURITY, NOW!" Eddy yelled before the sunroof suddenly opened up and a black kid reached in and grabbed Cody's hair before Nazz grabbed his (the black kid's) arm, which made a large CRACK noise when she (Nazz) roughly twisted it!

"YAAAGGGHHHH!" The kid let go of Cody's hair before he fell off of the roof. Simultaneously, another black kid and the Caucasian kid broke the cruiser's backseat windows as another black kid reached through the sunroof and the Hispanic kid continued to strike the windshield!

"I'M GOIN' OUT!" Eddy yelled. "ED! NATE! TAKE CARE OF THESE ASSCLOWNS! NAZZ, KEEP CODY DOWN!"

Nazz wrapped her arms around Cody as they both remained on the floor before Eddy took off his sunglasses and double-punched the black kid above the sunroof in the face as he (Eddy) jumped through it (the sunroof) and landed feet-first of top of the roof. Nate ran towards the right window with a glass bottle in his hand and broke it over another black kid's head as he got in. Prompting that, he (Nate) punched him [in the face] out of the cruiser while Ed threw his opponent out of his own window after he put him in a sleeperhold!

"He's still alive right?" Nazz asked Ed.

"Yeah! The door to the van was open!" Ed smirked.

On the cruiser's roof, the black kid was using street-fighting techniques against Eddy. Although, he quickly proved himself to be no match for Eddy's superior martial arts skills! The kid swiftly swung at Eddy with both arms, but Eddy blocked them all with his wrists before he (Eddy) caught his (the black kid's) right arm, twisted it behind his back, and kicked him over to the cruiser's "trunk". The kid got back up and tried to deliver a wild haymaker, but Eddy blocked his shot, sucker-punched him in the abdomen, and delivered an uppercut that sent the kid flying back over to the cruiser's "trunk"!

"RICO!" the black kid yelled out to the Hispanic kid (Rico) on the hood. "GIMME A HAND WIT DIS FOOL!"

The black kid got back up just as Rico's attention went to him and Eddy just before he (Rico) could break through the windshield. Eddy punched the black kid in the rib (which made him bend over in pain), knee-kicked him in the face, jumped up in the air, and delivered a roundhouse kick to the black kid's head before he (the black kid) was sent flying right back into the van!

"AAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Rico ran up to Eddy with two crowbars in his (Rico's) hand! He swung the left one at Eddy, who ducked as Rico turned around and swung the other at Eddy! Eddy swiftly bent himself backwards to evade the hit before Rico cursed, "HOLD STILL YA LITTLE FUCKTARD!" Rico turned around to face Eddy before the former jumped up in the air and looked like he was about to impale Eddy with both crowbars! But, simultaneously, Eddy jumped up in the air and heel-kicked Rico in the chest before the latter was sent flying until he landed back-first onto the hood as he dropped his crowbars onto the street!

"Never…call me…little!" Eddy frowned at Rico. "I grew outta that incarnation!"

As Rico stood up on the hood, he failed to notice the highway bridge above him until Eddy backflipped back through the sunroof and into the cruiser. After which, Rico turned around and screamed, "AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" before the screen went black and a bunch of random and colorful objects were seen! Inside the cruiser,

"That takes care of the wannabe carjackers!" Eddy put on his sunglasses before the van and the minivan outside once again purposely crashed into the cruiser on both sides! Eddy and Nazz held onto Cody on the floor while Ed and Nate braced themselves in the seats. Cody yelled in anger, "BUT THOSE DICKHOLES ARE STILL TRASHIN' MY RIDE!"

"Not fer long! Ed! Nate!" Eddy looked over his sunglasses at Ed and Nate.

"Aw, hell yeah!" Nate smiled knowingly. "Time for some "Gone in 60 seconds" shit! I call the minivan!"

Nate ran over to the busted right window and slowly climbed out as he stared at the minivan and it's driver!

"YAH!" Nate jumped out of the window and landed on the minivan's door before he broke the driver's window open with his elbow and unlocked the door! "Guess what, motha fucka? I'm repossessin' yo wheels!"

"Repossess dis, Nigga!" the black kid drove the minivan over to the cruiser in an attempt to crush Nate, who yelled, "OH SH-!" before he swung himself on top of the minivan's roof and the minivan crashed into the cruiser (which made everyone on the inside grunt) once more! While on top of the minivan's roof, Nate looked at Ed, who was standing on top of the van's roof as he looked back at Nate. The boys nodded at each other before Ed punched a hole through the van's roof, grabbed the driver by his shirt collar, and ripped him right out of the seat before he (Ed) glared at him face to face!

"RIDE'S OVER, FELON!" Ed tossed the black kid aside before he (the black kid) flew straight over the highway bridge as he screamed, "AAGGHH!" and landed into a creek! Ed then jumped through the hole and took the wheel like the whole thing was nothing.

At the minivan, Nate climbed back in front of the driver's door and yelled, "THAT ALL YA GOT?" as he smashed the black kid's head on the steering wheel and knocked him unconscious as he bounced back in the seat! Nate then grabbed the black kid by the shirt and threw him into the creek after he pulled him out through the window! Nate crawled through the window to take the wheel just before the cruiser and Ed got off expressway! Inside the cruiser, Eddy held up a walky-talky as Nate said on the other end, _"EVERYTHING'S STRAIGHT HERE, EDDY!" _

"_SAME HERE!" _Ed added on his end.

"Sweet job, boys!" Eddy smiled. "Just make sure nothin' else gets in the way!"

"_YOU GOT IT, MAN!" _Nate replied before Eddy turned his walky off.

* * *

At the creek where the black drivers were thrown, the drivers themselves emerged from the creek soaked and wet.

"Well, this sucks!" the first black kid spat. "Whadarwe supposed to tell Maurice?"

"Exactly what the hell happened!" The second black kid took out a walky-talky before the screen shifted to the trailer park where the Kankers were drinking vodka as they sat in lawn chairs. Suddenly, Maurice's voice could be heard via Lee's walky as yelling, _"LEE!" _before she (Lee) clicked it on and uttered, _"TALK!" _

"_YER BOYFRIEND GOT AWAY WITH THE PRIZE!" _Maurice replied angrily as Lee and her sisters frowned. _"WHY AIN'T'CHU TELL US HE FOUGHT LIKE A REBEL?"_

"Why ain't'chu familiar with his reputation?" Lee retorted. "You shoulda known he wasn't gonna take it easy on you and yer so-called gang! I got a mind to stop payin' ya right now if you wanna be bitches and give up! But here's a warning: you turn yer back on a Kanker, you will get a bite in the ass one way or another!"

After a short pause, Maurice sighed and uttered, _"ALL RIGHT, FINE! BUT YOU GOTTA TELL US WHAT ELSE TO DO SO THAT I DON'T KEEP LOSIN' MY PEEPS ON THE ROAD! AND HOW TO DEAL WIT'CHO MAN, SONIC THE SPIKEHOG!" _

"That'll be easy!" Lee smirked deviously.

* * *

On Romano Street, the cruiser and the "repossessed" van and minivan were driving normally as the sun began to rise some more. Inside the cruiser,

"How long before we reach the board's place, D?" Cody asked his cousin.

"Should not exceed more than half an hour, Mr. President!" Edd smiled.

"If those crossbone hardasses don't have it out for us that is!" Nazz added.

"Things've been quiet for about 20 minutes!" Eddy sat back with his arms behind his head. "Which, on a show like this, is sayin' somethin'!"

"You should check on the other dudes just in case, Eddy." Nazz advised. "They _did_ steal a couple of vehicles while fighting. So, they might be a little off their guard."

"They're big boys, sweetheart! If they can't suck it up, they don't belong here!" Eddy joked.

"Eddy!" Nazz put her hands on her hips sternly.

Eddy sighed annoyed before he took out his walky, turned it on, and uttered, "Ed! Nate! How are things goin' back there?"

"_Everything's cool here, man!" _Nate replied on his end.

"_Yeah! Whydoya ask?" _Ed added.

"I didn't! Yer mother, Nasina did!" Eddy joked as Nazz angrily glared at him. Inside the van,

"Aw! Well, tell mommy I'll be in soon!" Ed replied teasingly as he held his walky and drove with one hand. In the minivan,

"Yeah!" Nate did the same. "And have those snacks ready for—WHAT THE-?"

Back in the cruiser, Eddy shouted into his walky as Cody and Nazz looked at him, "What? WHAT IS IT?" Just then, the camera and the street began to quake violently. Ed looked into "his" side window and developed bug-eyes when he saw what was coming!

The screen shifted to the street before the camera moved up to reveal a red monster truck with tires that were so huge that they could easily crush all three vehicles! The driver was a Caucasian kid with a purple spiked mohawk, who laughed maniacally, "WHAHHAHAHAH! SO LONG, ROADKILL!"

"FLOOR IT!" all three vehicles put the pedal to the metal to avoid the monster truck, but could barely keep away!

"C'MON! C'MON! C'MON!" Nate looked at the minivan's fuel gage and saw that he was already on E! As the truck got closer, Nate realized what his only choice was and grabbed his walky! "EDDY! I'M OUTTA FUEL! I'M DROPPIN'! I'M DROPPIN'!"

Nate undid his seatbelt, opened the door, and jumped out of the still-moving minivan and rolled away just before the monster truck crushed the van and nearly Nate himself! As the truck continued forward, Nate stood up and watched as his friends rode away. Just then, Nate turned around in time to see an off-screen vehicle stop in front of him before he suddenly developed bug-eyes.

Meanwhile, the mohawk kid was still giving chase to the cruiser and the van and nearly caught up with the latter! Inside the cruiser,

"EDDY! DO SOMETHING!" shouted Nazz!

"DOUBLE D, HIT THE NITRO AND FIND A NARROW ROAD! WE CAN'T LET 'EM GET US OR ED!" Eddy ordered.

"I'M ACCELERATING TO MINE AND THE VEHICLE'S LIMIT, EDDY!" Edd shouted back.

Outside, the monster truck had just now tore up the back part of the van while Ed yelled into his walky, "EDDY! I'M HIT!" before the screen shifted back into the cruiser and Eddy yelled back, "HOW BAD?"

The monster truck had just now destroyed almost half of the van as Ed replied, "ENOUGH! I GOTTA PULL OUT! YER ON YER OWN FROM HERE!"

In the cruiser, "ANY CHANCE THAT YOU CAN TAKE THAT BASTARD WITH YA?"

"_THAT I CAN DO!" _Ed complied on the other end before the screen shifted to him and he took off his seatbelt and jumped through what remains of the roof and stood on it as the vehicle continued to move! Ed then jumped off of the van's roof and about 27 ft. in the air before the monster truck crushed the van's remains!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-HUH?" the mohawked kid laughed maniacally before he saw Ed descending towards him headfirst! "AAAGGGHHHH!" he screamed before Ed busted through the windshield, broke the mohawked kid's nose in the process of knocking him out, and started to turn the wheel as he yelled, "OFF-ROAD RAGE!"

Eventually, Ed drove the monster truck off the road before it began to fall towards the river below!

"TIME TO GET OUT!" Ed grabbed the unconscious mohawked kid, jumped/busted through the shotgun door's window, and successfully landed feet-first back on the road just as the monster truck fell into the river and created a massive splash and an even more massive wave in the other direction! On the road, another off-screen vehicle drove up behind Ed just as he turned around and developed bug-eyes.

* * *

On a narrow road, the cruiser continued forward and everyone on the inside were relieved, but were still on their toes.

"Gotta love that dude!" Nazz uttered as she thought about Ed's heroic "sacrifice".

"Think that's all of 'em?" Cody looked at Eddy, before Edd replied, "I wouldn't count on it!" and everyone in the back looked forward and saw through the cracked windshield; a road block composed of four cars (two black, two white) and about nine more crossbone gang members (this time including Maurice himself) with AK-47s in each of their hands!

"ROAD BLOCK!" Edd shouted.

"How many of these bastards go to our school?" Eddy shouted.

"All right! Enough is ENOUGH!" Cody frowned angrily. "D! Time for operation: BREAKER!"

"Operation what?" Eddy and Nazz asked confused.

Edd pressed a green button on a pad of the dashboard before the cruiser started to undergo an outer change! The entire vehicle (including the partially broken windshield) encased itself in silver metal just as the careless crossbone gang members pointed their guns at it!

"PUMP 'EM!" the crossbones fired their AK-47s at the cruiser, but each of them bounced off of the vehicle and didn't even make any dents!

"D, FLOOR IT!" Cody shouted. "THE REST OF YOU, HOLD ON!"

Eddy and Nazz restrained themselves just as Edd sped up on his cousin's orders! Eventually, the crossbones saw that they weren't doing enough to stand in the way and shouted, "SHI-I-I-I-I-I-I-T!" as they jumped in different directions and the cruiser broke through the blockade in slow motion before one of the black cars was sent flying and tumbling down the street! As the cruiser passed the totaled vehicle, it slowly reverted back to it's "normal" state and the kids uttered a sigh of relief!

Nazz looked at Cody proudly, which prompted him to look at her and smile as he uttered, "What?"

"And you thought you _wouldn't_ make a good leader!" Nazz smiled at him. "You just got yourself and us out of an intense mess while remaining in complete control!"

"Yeah…I guess I did!" Cody smiled as he thought.

"Yer startin' to show more, Kennedy!" Eddy joked. "But don't think you can give me a run for my money once we're done here!"

" 'fraid my name might show up first in the credits?" Cody taunted.

"Not unless they change yer name to "Edna"!" Eddy retorted with a smirk as he laid back! Cody folded his arms and frowned while Nazz giggled to herself.

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to the parking lot of a brown courthouse-like building with a brick sign on the side bushes that read in engraved letters: "PEACH CREEK EDUCATION COMMITTEE HEADQUARTERS." The cruiser pulled up into the parking lot and next to a brown pickup truck before everyone emerged from the vehicle with proud eyes.

"Here we are! The birthplace of Peach Creek's hellholes!" Eddy joked. "You'd think those douches that kept ambushin' us would point their guns here!"

"Good luck, dude! We're counting on you to set things straight!" Nazz fixed Cody's tie and combed his hair some.

"Not comin' out 'til they are!" Cody replied as he walked towards the steps. As Eddy and Nazz proudly watched Cody go up the steps, Edd's attention shifted to the license plate of the brown pickup truck, which read "K-LOVE 4". Edd then developed bug-eyes when he realized who's pickup truck it was and yelled, "CODY!", which alarmed Eddy, Nazz, and Cody, who turned around while still on the steps!

Prompting that, three figures wearing all black and ski masks suddenly emerged from behind the brick sign, hopped it, and grabbed Cody, who shouted "What the hell?"

Eddy, Nazz, and Edd prepared to run up the steps until one of the figures put Cody in a headlock and scolded in a feminine voice, "AH! AH! AH!" and made them stop in their tracks! Eddy recognized the girl's voice and uttered, "Lee?" before the three figures took off their respective masks and revealed themselves to be: the Kanker sisters!

"Who says bodyguards are all muscle and no brains?" Lee joked.

"You three have positively no regard for being honorable in terms of political competition!" Edd glared at the Kankers as Eddy and Nazz clinched their teeth in spite!

"Strictly business, sweetie!" Marie grinned. "Sometimes, you gotta do what's smart, instead of what's right!"

"That's why we were tryin' to get little Jimmy Carter here's attention all mornin'!" May pinched Cody's cheek.

"What the hell do you three want so badly?" Nazz asked annoyed.

"Ain't it obvious?" Lee retorted as Cody struggled in vain to escape from her grip. "Everything I did…everything I arranged…was for…_him_!" Lee pointed to Eddy, who just glared at her coldly! "Y'see, Kanker-style is startin' to go out of date! Evidence of that is…rejection and…meddling from unwanted losers who can't stay out of the market!" she glared at Nazz, who growled loudly in anger! "So, we're gonna shake things up with little Carter here's help! And once he's done helpin', I promise I'll _think_ about taking it easy on you!"

"What makes you think I'll strike a deal with you?" Eddy shouted before Lee replied by tightening her grip on Cody's neck, which made his friends gasp! Lee grinned sinisterly before Eddy looked at Nazz then back on the steps. Eddy slowly and unwillingly walked towards Lee just as Edd comforted the visibly angered (but internally emotional) Nazz by putting his hand on her shoulder.

Lee stuck her free hand out to Eddy and uttered, "Now…kiss my hand to prove your _permanent_ romantic declaration for me! And this time, make it _meaningful_! Or else!"

Eddy grabbed Lee's hand and unwillingly bent his face down towards it! Eddy then looked over his glasses at Cody, who looked back at him in the eye. He (Eddy) then nodded before Cody reached for one of the long, thick strands of Lee's hair and pulled on it as she screamed, "AAAAAAGGHHHHH!" and she released Cody's head!

"RUN CODY!" Edd shouted to his cousin before he (Cody) got up and did so!

"GET THAT PISS-ANT!" Lee shouted before Marie and May chased after him! Which prompted Eddy, who still held Lee's hand, to throw her (Lee) at her sisters as he shouted "DON'T THINK SO!" Lee crashed into her sisters before they could reach Cody's ankle and he successfully made it through the door!

"NO!" Lee shouted before she angrily looked at Eddy, who backed off of the stairs and smiled slyly! She angrily lunged at Eddy with her fist balled up and just before she could land a blow, Nazz jumped in front of Eddy at the last second and punched Lee in the face and onto the ground!

"Ooh, maybe you shouldn't have called her unwanted!" Eddy teased Lee before he looked down at Nazz, who rubbed her fist with a satisfied facial expression! "Feel better?"

"Oh yeah!" Nazz popped her knuckles before suddenly, the Ford Explorer from the gas station pulled up into the parking lot and an unscathed Kevin emerged from the driver's seat! An unscathed Holly, Ed, and Nate also emerged from the vehicle and walked towards their friends.

"Cody make it in?" Kevin asked the trio.

"You know it!" Eddy replied.

Just then, three heavily-bruised crossbones boys that were gagged and tied up fell out of the back of the vehicle and bounced away on foot before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in the lunchroom several days later, where everyone was seen happily eating real cafeteria food from pizzas, to hot dogs, to tacos! At the popular kids table, Eddy, Edd, Ed, Maggie, Nazz, Kevin, Nate, Brooke, and Holly watched as Cody ate a huge hot fudge sundae in a container!

* * *

On the side of the school, the Kankers were eating cafeteria lunch as Marie and May sulked and sat sadly against the dumpster. Lee ate her lunch on top of the dumpster.

"Well, this sucks!" May talked with her mouth full. "A perfect lunch without the perfect people to share it with!"

"Quit whinin', May!" Lee uttered.

"No, she's right!" defended Marie. "Now that Double D's dickfaced cousin done opened his mouth, Kanker-style is gonna get us arrested! Now, we don't have any way of gettin' our soulmates and we'll end up losin' 'em to those Bombshell bitches!"

"I said, shut up!" Lee turned around. "You two _still_ don't get it, do you? What happened ain't because of Double D's dickfaced cousin! It's because we haven't matured…but our men have!" she developed a smirk.

"What're you talkin' about?" Marie and May stood up to face Lee, who continued, "We call ourselves girls, but we still act like we're no better than boys! Mom told us that men are like dogs! Some are good…some are bad…and some still need to be trained and taught a lesson! And our dogs have reached the point where they can't learn their lesson by putting them through old training sessions! We're girls and it's high time we started getting things done like them! So, no! Kanker-style ain't dead! We just need to…refresh it by using what boys use little of: this!" Lee pointed to her head.

Marie and May looked down and gave what Lee had just uttered some thought. It finally occurred to them that as girls, they could possibly get one over on boys if they stopped acting like them. Marie and May looked at Lee with a devious smile before the latter uttered, "That's my girls! Now, let's talk about prom!" Lee grinned sinisterly before the screen cut to black.

**End of episode 7 **

**

* * *

****Did you know: "Superintendent Cheney" is named after former U.S. Vice President, "Richard "Dick" Cheney". The whole "Secret Service Chase" sequence was exaggerated, but inspired by the gravity of importance that revolves around **_**one**_** human being. "The United Schools of Peach Creek" is both a gag and a fictional education-based idea that is meant to both connect the schools of Peach Creek in terms of serious relations and parody "The United States of America" for obvious reasons. Eddy's "This is a matter of educational security" line is a play-on of the continuously-used federal saying, "This is a matter of national security". For those of you who are unfamiliar with "Gone in 60 Seconds", it is a movie that focuses on hijacking cars (which is basically what Ed and Nate did earlier on!). And "Romano Street" is named after "Christy Carlson Romano": My ideal voice actor for Brooke.**

**

* * *

****Phoenix's note: The time for typical teen series teasing is over! Next episode marks the beginning of the Ed/Bombshell relationship triangle's formation; starting with Ed and Holly. And as an exciting and dramatic component, don't forget about the rebirth of Kanker-style and how bad girls like the Kankers can become formidable opponents now that they are using what's considered even more powerful than the body!**

**

* * *

****Title reference: Hail to the Chief **

**Acknowledging the reference: "Hail to the Chief" is an iconic song (that I'm quite sure you've heard before since I bet a decent number of you are American-born) that was written specifically as a deference to the U.S. President! **


	15. An Ed with Destiny pt 1

**Phoenix's Note:** Even though suspenseful and action fiction is my primary profession, I am also a fan of stories about young love if they're done correctly. That's right, fans. I may be a man with veins pumped full of action, but I'm also a romantic! So, please enjoy episode 8!

**

* * *

****EPISODE 8: AN ED WITH DESTINY**

* * *

The screen opened up on the outside of J. Wootton High school, where the event board read "Junior/Senior prom this Friday!" The screen zoomed in on the school before it transitioned to the front of "Mr. Owens Art Class", which Eddy just walked out of with a paper pass and a casual facial expression.

Inside were pictures of famous artists, Da Vinci and Michelangelo as well as several strange drawings and paintings hanging on the wall. Ed, Edd, Nazz, and the Kankers were among several students as they all painted on their own respective paper-stands. Owens was walking around the room as he looked at his students' work. He was a Caucasian man in his early 50s that stood only 5'7 and had a receding hairline. He wore a short-sleeve Duckhead purple-and-green-striped shirt, blue jeans, and off-screen shoes. He stopped at Ed's painting and uttered, "Excellent work again, Ed!"

The camera shifted to Ed's painting, which was a muscular young man and a beautiful young woman that respectively resembled Ed and Holly. The couple was wearing all white while holding hands at what appeared to be a wedding seeing how the female wore a veil.

"Thanks, Mr. Owens!" Ed replied. "I know you were probably expecting me to draw two giants robots fighting in Paris or something!"

"No! No!" Owens tapped Ed's shoulder. "As a teaching artist, I _never_ question my student's choices! Especially when they're my star pupils!"

Ed and Owens laughed while Edd and Nazz looked at Ed proudly as they continued to work.

"To think: Many of the school's educationalists resented Ed's presence due to his friendship with Eddy and often broaden the word!" Edd smiled.

"Boys will be boys!" Nazz replied. "Or in the big guy's case…Eds will be Eds!"

Behind them, May was looking at Ed goofily and lustfully as she painted a picture of her and Ed embracing and kissing with a portrait of Holly with her throat cut in the background! Just then, the bell rang for next period before everyone excitedly dropped their respective brushes and took off their respective aprons. As they ran for the door, Owens shouted, "NEXT TIME, GET READY TO PRESENT YOUR PORTRAITS! AND FOR THOSE OF YOU GOING TO PROM, JUST REMEMBER: NO GRINDING OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU KIDS DO NOWADAYS!"

As Ed, who was the only one left in the class, walked towards the door; Owens sat at his desk and shouted, "ED! C'mere a sec!" Ed approached Owens' desk before he (Owens) continued, "What's going on with you lately?"

"Whadoya mean?" Ed asked. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No!" Owens replied. "It's just that…you haven't really been acting like you in this class much anymore! Instead of drawing fast, making a mess out of creating one of your painted masterpieces, or sculpting a man-eating beaver, you've…been doing your work slowly and smiling more than usual! And today it seems to be more public! And don't take this the wrong way or anything, but those are normally the first signs of future slacking habits! Something yer friend, Eddy already developed! Yet, he somehow manages to keep a low B!"

"Well, don't worry!" Ed assured with a smile. "I love this class too much to slack off! Believe me!"

"Still, I want to know what's going on in that unique mind of yours! Spill!" Owens looked at Ed with a smile. "C'mon! Yer reputation says ya can't associate with one of your teachers? Level with me!"

Ed looked down with a smile and sighed before he uttered, "Okay! Truth is…there's this girl that I like. And she's…not like other girls. I mean, sure she's popular and sexy and all, but I just…haven't had the gut to tell her how I felt lately. I always thought it was my own mind telling me that…it's not meant to be."

Owens nodded as Ed continued, "Until…about a week ago, I…started having these dreams, where…I see me and her…together and…happy. And last night, I…had one that was…extra special. And it made me realize that…I was bein' a pussy! That's why I…left all the control in my body to my head and my heart…when I do my work in this class. She is…more than unique to me. She is…my soulmate!"

Owens just smiled at Ed and shook his head from left to right before he (Ed) concluded, "And I plan on telling her…after I ask her…to prom!"

"Go get her, son." Owens smiled before Ed shook his head and ran out the door. As he passed a locker corner, May suddenly grabbed the back of his jacket and slammed him against the lockers!

"Hiya, Horace!" May puckered her lipstick-lined lips as Lee and Marie stood there and laughed behind her!

"The hell? Get off me!" Ed struggled to get May off of him, but she kept her hands on his shirt!

"Not till ya ask me to prom…and agree to wash my panties!" May smiled.

"How about I have Sarah strangle you and shove 'em down your throat?" Ed threw May off of him and forced her to stumble backwards a little and glare at Ed. "Eddy's right! I can't believe I used to be scared of you! Your sisters may be annoying bitches like you, but at least they aren't stupid-crazy like you! Read my lips: I…hate…YOU! So it's gonna take more than wrinkling my shirt to make me overlook everything you've done to me and just melt in your arms!"

Ed angrily walked away from the Kankers before May balled her fists up and the angered Lee and Marie looked at her.

"_She's about bawl! Get ready to rush her…again!"_ Lee whispered.

May angrily punched the locker section with all her might before all of the doors swung open and broke off their hinges!

"Whoa!" Marie whispered. "We gotta stop insultin' her!"

"You mean _you_ do!" Lee retorted. "We've established the fact that gettin' mad's not gonna get a man to come to you 6 episodes ago, May!"

"Oh, I'm not mad!" May turned around with an evil sneer. "Cuz, I know for a fact…that he was just kidding!"

"_Think she finally went off the deep end!" _Marie whispered.

"No!" Lee smiled knowingly. "Look at her face!"

"Guys…I think it's time I stopped being the oblivious one of the family!" May smirked.

"Think some influence finally sunk in, Lee!" Marie sneered.

"Past time, I'd say!" Lee replied before all three sisters laughed maniacally!

* * *

In another hallway, Nazz got a short, long-sleeve purple jacket out of her locker and as she put it on, the smiling Maggie and a group of excited, squealing girls ran up to her.

"What's up, guys?" Nazz closed her locker door.

"You didn't hear?" Maggie smiled. "Kyle's back!"

"Kyle Campbell?" Nazz asked surprised as the other girls nodded. "I thought he wasn't getting out of juvie for another few months!"

"His parents were able to get a few extra dollars out of his college fund to bail him out!" Maggie explained. "And guess what!"

"He wants to take you to the prom so you could be his prom queen!" the girls screamed and squealed as Nazz looked down and replied, "But he just got back! How's he going to be prom king?"

"Oh c'mon, Nazz!" a girl uttered. "What guy can outmatch Kyle's hotness? And in their right mind, run against him in the first place? Besides your cutie-pie, on-and-off, boy toy, Eddy?"

Just then, a brown-haired kid about 16 that was wearing a black T-shirt with a blue jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers walked up next to Nazz and uttered, "Yeah, what guy?"

"Kyle!" Nazz looked at the kid (Kyle) in surprise.

"So, whadoya say, Nazzie?" Kyle smiled at the blonde bombshell. "You wanna go with me or does my old pal, Gates, already have dibs?"

Nazz hesitated for a little bit before she smiled, "He hates you, you know! But, he doesn't hate me, so…yeah! I'll go with you!"

"Great!" Kyle smirked. "I'll pick ya up at 7:00 tomorrow!"

Kyle walked off-screen as the other girls squealed and Nazz just smiled at them!

* * *

The screen transitioned to another hallway during lunch period, where a line of boys were seen in front of a stand operated by Eddy and Kevin. The boys each put a dollar in Eddy's money jar as they each handed Kevin a picture of a girl. When one kid handed Kevin a picture of an obese black girl with braces, the latter uttered, "Sure you don't wanna go a little…smaller?"

"Nope!" the kid uttered. "But if it's a problem-"

"No problem at all!" Eddy interrupted. "Just fork over a green Washington and you've got reliable insurance!"

The kid walked off as the line continued and Eddy glared at Kevin, "Rule number one about business, bro: _Never_ question the customer!"

"Have you seen this girl?" Kevin showed Eddy the picture. "If you have, look me in the eye and tell me that you'd liplock her!"

Eddy looked at the picture in disgust before he uttered, "Ugh! Let's get one of the show's extras to do it!"

"Or Jonny since he's _never_ kissed a girl!" Kevin laughed.

"Not a bad idea!" Eddy smiled before Nate and Brooke suddenly ran up to him and uttered, "Guys!" as they breathed heavily.

"What's up?" Kevin asked casually.

"Eddy, yer not gonna like hearing this, but-" Brooke started.

"Nazz is goin' to the prom with Kyle Campbell: the wannabe hardass who wishes he could be me and ended up in juvie cuz his dumbass doesn't use common sense?" Eddy smirked before Nate uttered in surprise, "How did'gu-"

"Word gets around quick, man!" Kevin stated. "Besides, Eddy wasn't gonna ask Nazz, anyway!"

"Yeah!" Eddy put his arm around Nate's neck buddy-style. "Me and Kev here are gonna go to the prom with two smokin' hot Australian twins: Rhonda and Wanda!"

"Hell yeah!" Kevin gave Eddy some dap.

"What about bein' prom king?" Brooke asked Eddy.

"Not runnin'!" Eddy replied.

"Why?" asked Nate.

"Cuz, I got an unfair edge!" Eddy joked as Kevin laughed and took more pictures.

"So, what're you guys doin' right here anyway?" Brooke put her hands and head on Nate's left shoulder.

"Guess you could say it makes us a little emo to see guys without girls at a prom!" Kevin smiled.

"So, in exchange for some dead Georges, we're gonna use our lips, not dicks, to persuade the ladies into spendin' one night with 'em!" Eddy finished.

"So, wait!" Nate chuckled. "Yer just gonna _kiss_ 'em into goin' with soma these guys?"

"_Just_?" Eddy repeated. "Me and Eckhart here got tied for "Best Kissers" last year! Duh!"

The repulsed Kevin showed Eddy another picture of a girl before he (Eddy) flinched in disgust, "OH! That's two for Jonny! Ugh! Hope he's got a strong stomach and lays off the food!"

Just then, Jonny ran up to the group and uttered, "Guys!"

"We know that Nazz is goin' with Campbell to the prom! Drop it!" Eddy interrupted with a hint of jealousy in his tone. This caused everyone to look at him tauntingly. "What? I get tired of hearin' the same thing all the time!"

"No, it's Ed!" Jonny smiled. "He's about to ask Holly to prom!"

"WHAT?" Eddy, Kevin, and Nate shouted in unison.

"Did'gu just say _Ed_?" Brooke asked in surprise. "_Ed_ as in _Edward Fuller _is gonna ask Holly to a dance after ducking and covering every time he tried to say something other than "Hi"?"

"I gotta see this!" Eddy grabbed his money jar and ran off-screen as Jonny followed.

"Sorry, guys! We're closed!" Kevin picked the stand up and threw it off-screen before the boys yelled angrily and the former ran after Eddy as Nate and Brooke followed.

* * *

In the lunchroom, many of the students were excitedly gathered around the smiling Ed and Holly as they faced each other at the lunchroom window. Among them were Kyle, Nazz, Edd, Maggie, and Rolf.

"So anyway, I…uh…um…" Ed started to sweat as Holly uttered sweetly, "Yes?"

Suddenly, Eddy, Jonny, Kevin, Nate, and Brooke busted through the cafeteria's double doors and looked at the surrounding crowd.

"Whoa!" Kevin uttered. "Not even my mom was this nosy when I had that girl's thong in the guest room's floor!"

"We gotta get up front! Follow my lead!" Eddy started shoving several people aside as Kevin and the others followed him. "Lemme through! Lemme through! Front seats go to close friends, folks!"

As they made their way up, Ed continued, "If you don't, uh…have anything better to, uh…do…um…I was wondering if you…um…"

Ed looked like he was about to crack until he saw Eddy, Kevin, Jonny, Nate, and Brooke emerge from the crowd and stand next to Edd, Maggie, Nazz, and Kyle. The latter looked at Eddy and uttered with a teasing smile, "Gates."

"Campbell." Eddy responded coldly with a sarcastic smile.

"Uh…oh, the hell with it! Will you go to the prom with me?" Ed got down on his knees and held out a dead rose that he pulled out from his pocket.

Everyone went silent as Holly slowly put her hand on her chest and smiled as she took the rose with her other hand. She replied happily, "Yes! Of course!"

The students in the lunchroom cheered wildly as Ed stood back up with a triumphant smile.

"THATA-BOY, ED!" Eddy shouted. "I'M PROUDA YA, MAN!"

Ed continued to stand gloriously before his eyes rolled back and he fainted.

"ED!" the concerned Eddy rushed over to his fallen friend as Edd, Nate, and Kevin followed as they shouted at once, "OH DEAR! YOU ALL RIGHT, BRAH? GET UP, MAN!"

Nazz and Maggie walked over to Holly as they looked at Ed and while everyone else (including Kyle) went back to their seats or out the door, the disgruntled Kankers sat at a table in a corner as they looked at Ed.

"Yer chances are on a thin string, May!" Lee looked at May. "Ya better throw yer plan out, now!"

"Don't'chu get it, Lee?" Marie started. "She's too—AAGGHH!"

May threw her lunch tray at Marie's face before she (May) uttered, "See that kid over there?"

May pointed at Kyle while Lee replied, "Yeah, that's Kyle Campbell! Another pretty boy delinquent!"

"You know what he went to juvie for?" May smirked.

Lee thought for a second before she remembered and looked at May with a devious smile before the screen faded to black.

* * *

At sunset and in Eddy's attic (**Quick shot Ed**), Eddy and Ed were sitting on crates as they watched Edd, who stood in front of Monica's mannequin (**May I have this Ed**) with a casual facial expression. The mannequin had a green shoulder-less dress and a purple wig on it along with Maggie's face perfectly drawn on it with colored pencils.

"Still can't believe you wanna try this again, Double D!" Ed uttered.

"Believe it, Ed!" Edd grinned. "No longer shall I remain on the sidelines of a public evening dance festivity at our institute of high-learning! Especially not after my dance with Nazz years prior!"

"_Which I still wanna choke ya for!" _Eddy whispered to himself.

"What?" Edd looked at Eddy casually.

"What?" Eddy responded nonchalantly. "Quit jokin' around and practice already! I can't focus on both you talkin' to Maggie and Ed goin' rock star on the dance floor!"

"You know I can't dance, Eddy!" Ed replied.

"That's why I don't wanna miss you and Holly!" Eddy joked. "Just have her grind on you or somethin'! Take it from me: she's got one sweet ass!"

"EDDY!" Ed angrily chased the laughing Eddy out of the attic and down the stairs before a crashing noise could be heard!

Edd uttered as he shook his head from left to right, "Exceptionally astonishing how they were able to advance on their own!"

* * *

In Holly's room, Holly herself was looking at a red shoulder-less dress and a black back-less dress on two different hangers as she stood in front of her open closet and her mom sat on her (Holly's) queen-sized bed as she crossed her legs. Holly's mom strongly resembled her daughter, but had shoulder-length brown hair and wore a long-sleeve white sweater, blue jeans, white sneakers, and a diamond ring.

"What about this one?" Holly held up the black dress.

"You wear that to _everything_!" Mrs. O'Connor asked. "Funerals, weddings, yadda, yadda!"

"It's special!" Holly justified.

"If it was special, then you wouldn't wear it all the time!" Mrs. O'Connor smirked. "Why don't you switch up and wear something like a red Summerdress with a rose and…yadda yadda!"

"Always with the expensive stuff, huh mom?" Holly smiled. "Then again, you are the manager of a pricey jewelry shop!"

Just before Mrs. O'Connor could respond to that, Holly's dad ran in front of the doorway with a piece of paper in his hand and yelled out to his wife, "HILARY!" Holly's dad stood 6'0, was muscular, had combed orange hair, and was wearing a short-sleeve magenta shirt, black jeans, off-screen shoes, and a diamond ring just like his wife (Hilary). Mr. O'Connor continued, "Whadoya think of this one, eh?"

He opened the paper up and showed it to Hilary and Holly, which was a sketch of a sneaker with three or four levels of soles. He continued, "Those execs at "Footnote" are gonna get a kick outta this, eh? I call it "The King of Soles"! Pretty catchy, eh?"

Hilary stood up and sighed, "Dennis, how many times do I have to tell you that you can't keep putting the word "King" in every one of your designs? They'll think you're a one-trick pony and then will start giving you the look, the lecture, and…yadda yadda!"

"Why not, eh?" Holly's dad (Dennis) replied. "We're one of the best known footwear companies in America and Canada, eh? So, why wouldn't-"

"Uh, Dennis?" Hilary interrupted politely. "I don't mean to cut you off, but I think Holly needs our attention for something a little more important!"

Dennis looked at Holly before the latter uttered, "Hey, daddy! Which one do you think I should wear to prom?"

"Whichever one doesn't make the boy that's takin' you wanna find out what's underneath, eh?" Dennis smirked before Hilary yelled, "DENNIS!"

"What?" Dennis looked at Hilary nonchalantly.

"Relax, daddy!" Holly hung the red dress up. "Ed's not that type of guy!"

"Ed?" Dennis repeated angrily. "Young lady, you are NOT going out with that big-chinned, truck-driving, trouble-making-!"

"Dennis, that's Kevin!" Hilary intervened. "And Ed is a very nice boy!"

"Not according to all those stupid things he and that kid, Eddy did last week, eh!" Dennis justified before he turned to Holly. "That's right! I've taken a few looks at your Facebook!"

"DA-AD!" Holly shouted angrily.

"Okay!" Hilary walked towards Dennis and grabbed his left arm. "Dennis, let's go downstairs and talk about your designs and…yadda yadda!"

Hilary and Dennis walked out of Holly's room and closed the door behind them before Holly herself closed the closet door and threw her black dress in a chair. Her room had pink wallpaper, a desk with a computer on it, a large circular mirror, a black leather armchair, a poster of a shirtless "Taylor Lautner" on the wall above her bed, a Flatscreen HDTV with surround sound, and a blue-ray disk player with a few blue-ray disks on a shelf. Each of the room's walls had about ten pictures of Ed and Holly having a good time somewhere on them. And half of them looked like extra people were cut off from them!

"Nosy dad!" Holly muttered as she stepped out of her sneakers. "Doesn't even know my friends! _Or_ Ed!"

Holly took out her ipod, put the headphones in her ears, and jumped back-first onto her bed before she slowly closed her eyes and the screen zoomed in on her as her music started to play and the screen flashed white.

**

* * *

****Flashback- Three years and a few months ago. A 12 to 13-year-old pony-tailed Holly was surfing with two boys and one girl at "Cherry Falls Beach" at sunset. Holly was wearing a two-piece orange swimsuit and was riding on an orange surfboard. The boys that were riding with her were both Caucasian, but one had green hair with a matching pair of shorts and surfboard, while the other had blue hair with a matching pair of shorts and surfboard. The other girl had red-hair in pigtails and was wearing a red one-piece swimsuit with a matching surfboard.**

"**WHOOOOOOO!" the quartet screamed excitedly. **

"**THIS HAS GOTTA BE THE BIGGEST WAVE WE'VE EVER RODE ON!" the redhead screamed. **

"**AND IT'S ABOUT TO GET BIGGER!" the blue-haired boy shouted before his prediction came true and the wave became almost the same size as a rogue wave! **

"**HANG ON, GUYS!" Holly shouted,** **as the kids got closer to land! **

**At the last moment, the kids surfed their way down to the beach just before the wave hit sand and destroyed a little kid's sand castle before he cried. As they carried their surfboards, the quartet approached a bunch of other kids their age, which applauded them vigorously!**

"**Awesome job out there!" a girl said. **

"**Thanks, babe!" the green-haired kid smirked. **

"**Not'chu, Scooter!" the girl yelled. "Holly! The best thing that ever happened to us and Cherry Falls Junior High!" **

"**Why, just cuz I convinced the principal to change his mind about lettin' us have a trip here?" Holly smiled modestly.**

"**If it wasn't for you, a lotta good things wouldn't be happenin' to us!" the blue-haired kid replied. "I say we throw her a party when we get back to the hotel! And then another one just because I don't wanna think about the fact that we gotta go back to school this Monday!" **

"**Aw, thanks Chase! That's so cool of you to say that!" Holly hugged the blue-haired kid (Chase). "And as long as I'm in Cherry Falls, you guys can count on a rad time from me!"**

**Months later- Holly was following her mom around sadly in their house, which was filled with taped boxes of all sizes stacked on top of each other.**

"**But mom!" Holly said saddened. "What am I supposed to tell my friends? They'll be hurt!" **

"**I'm sorry, Holly! But they're going to have to deal with it!" Hilary put some family pictures in a small box. "Cherry Falls just doesn't meet the certain needs that this family has anymore!" **

"**You mean **_**your**_** needs!" Holly snapped. "You and dad don't even care about me anymore! You only want what's best for your life and Roland's!" **

"**That's not true!" Hilary shouted back. **

"**YES IT IS! Don't'chu dare lie to me!" Holly began to turn red. **

"**Holly Gabrielle O'Connor! You better-" Hilary pointed to the stairwell.**

"**DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!" Holly shouted before she stomped up the stairs and a loud SLAM could be heard.**

**Some days later, Dennis sat on his sobbing daughter's bed as he talked to her.**

"**I'm sorry that Scooter, Chase, and Nora ostracized you and I know it's hard to leave behind everything you know, but that's life, sweetheart." Dennis put his hand on Holly's shoulder. "Sooner or later, you have to realize that there are some decisions that you have to make that you feel are right regardless of it having a negative spin on it, eh. There are some things in this world that not even your mother and I have control over. And crying will only discourage you further. What you must understand is that life is always gonna get into your hair, but the key thing is to take control and not let it crush who you are. I-I know you're still going to be upset about losing your friends for a little bit, but please, for your own social good, try to make some friends at Peach Creek, eh. Okay?" **

**Holly smiled and shook her head yes before she hugged her father tightly and he hugged her back as he kissed her forehead. **

"**Think I'll find a boyfriend there, too?" Holly sniffled. **

"**Don't push it!" Dennis pushed Holly off of him as she laughed. **

**Days later, the O'Connor family was riding down a street in a red Kia Sorento as about three moving trucks followed. Dennis drove while Hilary rode shotgun and Holly and her younger brother (Roland), who wore a white/green soccer uniform, sat in the back seat knocked out. **

**As the sun shined on the neighborhood, the vehicles entered the neighborhood just as Holly woke up and looked out the window to see her new, snow-covered home: Peach Creek Estates! The moment the vehicles parked in front of a house, Holly and Roland emerged from the Sorento. Holly wore a purple sweater with some earmuffs while Roland wore a black Eskimo-coat, a black hat, and black mittens with a matching scarf. **

"**Nice getup, tubby!" Holly taunted Roland. **

"**MOM!" Roland ran to Hilary as she emerged from the car. **

**As Holly began to walk off, Dennis emerged from the Sorento and asked as he saw her walk away, "Where are you going, eh?" **

"**To check this place out!" Holly walked away from the house and down the street. When she made a left turn down another street, "HEY! OVER HERE!" **

**Holly looked to her right and saw the pink-dress-wearing Nazz tied to a lamppost and a mailbox in front of Rolf's house a day after the events of "The Eds are Coming, The Eds are Coming"! **

"**A LITTLE HELP HERE!" Nazz asked Holly. **

"**Oh my gosh!" Holly put her hands on her mouth and ran towards Nazz before she began untying her from the mailbox. "Are you all right?" **

"**For now, yeah!" Nazz got her hand free. "But the others are SO gonna get it!" **

"**You're just lucky you haven't caught a cold yet!" Holly began untying Nazz from the lamppost. "But still, who would do something so immature? Was this some dumb boy prank?" **

"**Uh…no! But it's kinda a long story though!" Nazz moved her other free hand, brushed "her dress" off, and took the bow out of her hair. "Thanks for helping me! I've been calling for help for like, the past 17 hours or something!" **

"**No problem!" Holly replied with a smile. **

"**Nazz Van Bartonschmeer!" Nazz introduced herself as she held her hand out.**

"**Holly O'Connor!" Holly shook Nazz's hand. "I just moved here from Cherry Falls!" **

"**Cherry Falls?" Nazz repeated surprised. "Wow, that's-"**

"**RUN AWAY!" Nazz was interrupted when she and Holly saw a frightened Ed being chased by an enraged Eddy, whom Edd was chasing!**

"**LEAVE ME TO BE A FOOTREST, WILL YA?" Eddy shouted as he continued to give chase! **

"**BUT, EDDY! THE CHEEK-PINCHING OTTOMANS WERE THERE!" the bug-eyed Ed continued to run. **

"**OH, I'LL GIVE YA AN OTTOMAN!" Eddy yelled. **

"**MIND YOUR…VOCABULARY AND STRENGTH…EDDY!" Edd ran as he panted and sweated.**

"**Funny guys, huh Holly?" Nazz shook her head as she smiled. She then looked at Holly and saw that she was out of it! "Holly? Holly!" **

**Holly began to blush and twitch as she stared directly at the still-running Ed, who looked back at Eddy before he (Ed) ran smack into a streetlight and knocked it down as he fell! **

"**NOW, I GOTCHA!" Eddy lunged at Ed, who jumped out of the way and dove down a manhole and into the sewers! **

"**OH, NO YA DON'T!" Eddy jumped down the manhole to continue chasing Ed just before Edd stopped directly in front of the manhole!**

"**Oh, for heaven's sake! Not again!" Edd sighed as he took out a transparent bacteria protection suit (Boom Boom out goes the Ed), put it on, opened the manhole's lid, and slowly climbed down it's ladder as he muttered, "Filthy! Filthy! Filthy!" and closed the lid.**

"**Holly! HOLLY!" Nazz screamed before Holly snapped out of her trance. "You okay?" **

**Holly looked at Nazz with a smile before she uttered, "Y'know…something tells me…I'm gonna love it here!" she blushed. **

**Nazz looked at Holly with a smile when she realized that she (Holly) was crushing on one of the Eds. (Something they have in common) And she (Nazz) had a pretty good idea who. The screen flashed white again and reopened in Holly's room in the current time.**

* * *

"Hmmm!" Holly uttered a content sigh as she smiled.

* * *

With it now being nightfall, Lee drove Raven's pick-up truck in front of a big house in the construction site with the other Kankers in the back. The construction site had many more houses than in it's last appearance (**What an Ed wants**), but they were all incomplete with the exception of the house the Kankers were in front of, which was white and three-stories tall.

"You sure this is where he lives, Lee?" May asked Lee.

"Yep! His parents had this house built while he was still locked up!" Lee replied. "Now go strike it!"

May hopped out of the back and walked up to the house's front door before she rang the doorbell. Just then, Kyle opened the door with his shirt gone and pants unzipped as they sagged!

"Oh, joy! A Kanker!" Kyle smirked sarcastically. "I'm a bit busy, but I'll book you in later!"

"KYLE, WHO IS IT?" a teenage female's voice yelled from inside the house.

"Just a friend!" he shouted back. "Just go' head in the shower and I'll meet'chu in there!"

"OKAY!" she replied seductively!

"Okay, make it fast!" Kyle rushed May. "There's an awesome night with my name on it!"

"I got a proposition for ya!" May smirked wickedly.

"I'm listenin'!" Kyle folded his arms as he smiled.

**

* * *

****Tribute: "Mr. Owens" is named after and based on my old art teacher of the same name! The "Best Kisser" thing was something that just came to me that I thought would be necessary (and funny) for two of the school's most popular boys: Eddy and Kevin. And about Eddy, I've been trying to think of a male rival to give him for this first season that's like him in almost every way persona-wise. And that's how I came up with "Kyle Campbell". Stay tuned for next half! **


	16. An Ed with Destiny pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **I've never attended this year's junior/senior prom (mainly because it was remarkably expensive and I didn't have job-money at the time), but I know enough thanks to a few friends and their yearbook pictures! Also, last Saturday was my birthday! I'm 19! No bullshit! So with that in mind, please enjoy the rest of episode 8!

* * *

The screen opened up in the almost completely deserted boys' locker room, where Ed was seen walking towards his locker with a white towel wrapped around his private area. When he opened his locker door, he saw a small white box that read on the outside, "To Fuller."

Ed grabbed the box and opened it before he saw a small ziplock bag filled with a white sugar-like substance. He looked at it suspiciously and saw a card in the box before he took it out and read it out loud, "Turn around"?

Ed turned around before Kyle suddenly took a picture of Ed holding the bag with a digital camera and three Caucasian kids standing behind him (Kyle).

"Suppose I shoulda told'gu to say cheese, huh?" Kyle joked.

"What're you doing?" Ed asked suspiciously.

"Just giving May some hopeful insurance!" Kyle smiled.

"May? May Kanker?" Ed asked angrily. "What are you two up to?"

"Let's just say that she doesn't take rejection well and asked me to do her a favor to make it all better!" Kyle smirked.

Ed raised the left side of his eyebrow and uttered in anger, "For the last time, I'm not going to the dance with that ugly-ass-"

"According to this picture of you holding a bag of date-rape and my witnesses here, yeah you are!" Kyle smirked as he raised his digital camera up.

"Date-rape?" Ed dropped the bag and angrily looked at Kyle. "You son of a-" he lunged at him!

"Ah! Duh! Duh!" Kyle twiddled his finger before Ed stopped in his tracks. "I may have a record, but that don't mean I'm not tempted to get the cops to get a loada this! Or worse yet, your girlfriend, O'Connor! You may be an honest Ed, but for a school like this, pictures are worth a thousand heartbreaks! So, what's it gonna be?"

Ed looked down angered and defeated externally, but emotionally saddened internally.

"Good boy!" Kyle Campbell. "And if were you, I'd give Holly a reject text before tonight! Oh, and May expects you to pick her up at 7:00!"

Kyle and his cronies walked out of the locker room before Ed unleashed his rage by punching a huge hole in the wall. He took out his cell phone as he emitted a tear and the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in a bathroom, where Holly was wearing her black back-less dress and was putting on her diamond earrings. Just then, Roland (who was wearing a yellow/white soccer uniform) stood in the doorway with Holly's cell phone in his hand.

"What're you doing with my phone, Roland?" Holly turned around agitated.

"You left it on the table when you were ironing!" Roland replied as Holly snatched it from him.

"Downstairs!" Holly scolded her younger brother as she walked out the door. "The babysitter will be here any minute!"

Holly looked at her phone as she walked downstairs and uttered, "I got a message…from Ed!" The moment Holly walked out the front door, she developed a bug-eyed facial expression and screamed "AAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH" emotionally!

* * *

At J. Wootton high, the prom was being held in the cafeteria, which was decorated with black and white balloons and a pink banter that read "17th annual junior/senior prom". On the walls were tables covered in either black or white cloth and a wide variety of food and snacks. Many well-dressed kids were on the dance floor dancing to the song **Promiscuous girl**.

Among them were Nate and Brooke; the latter of which was grinding on the former as they smiled at each other. Nate was wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt with no tie and blue dress shoes while Brooke was wearing a red shoulder-less dress and a lot of lipstick!

"How come you're not wearing a tie again?" Brooke shouted over the music.

"I hate ties! You know that!" Nate slapped Brooke's butt.

There were also many kids at the food tables as they held conversations. Among them were Eddy and Kevin, who were waiting for their dates. Eddy was wearing a black suit with a white dress shirt and a black tie while Kevin was wearing a gray suit with a black tie.

"Where the heck are they?" Eddy asked angrily.

"You know how long girls take in the bathroom!" Kevin stated.

"I meant the lump and his orange bombshell!" Eddy replied. "Bad enough Double D is drinkin' instead of tryin' to break it with Maggie!"

Kevin looked to his left and saw Edd drinking many cups of fruit punch as he sweated uncontrollably! He was wearing a long-sleeve orange dress shirt, black dress pants, and off-screen dress shoes.

"Even worse when our dates didn't show up yet!" Eddy added.

"You mean _yours_ didn't! Yo, Rhonda!" Kevin smiled before a girl with long blue hair and a shoulder-less pink dress (Rhonda) looked at Kevin excitedly and ran towards him in her pink high-heels. "Later, bro!" Kevin gave Eddy some dap before Rhonda yanked him off-screen and onto the dance floor as the song **Blanco **started to play.

Eddy turned around to make himself a cup of green punch. As he took a sip, he looked to his right and saw Nazz wearing a tight, dark brown, shoulder-strapped cheetah-skinned dress that showed some heavy cleavage as she talked to Maggie, who wore a purple shoulder-less dress. Eddy, turned-on by Nazz's appearance, guzzled down his drink and walked up behind her just as Maggie walked off-screen as she looked at her phone.

"Oh, it is you!" Eddy smirked as Nazz turned around. "For a minute there, I mistook you for Scarlett Johansson!"

"Eddy!" Nazz smiled. "Why aren't you dancing with Wanda?"

"She's powdering her nose…or so I think!" Eddy replied with a smirk as he looked at Nazz's physique and barely subdued his hormones! "Uh…where did'gu get this dress?"

"It's a gift! You like it?" Nazz twirled around as Eddy developed bug-eyes as he marveled at how tight the dress was on her! "It's from Fitzgerald's secret! They just bought out a dress-production corporation!"

"_Gotta find the owner and thank 'im!" _Eddy looked away.

"What?" Nazz smiled at Eddy, who replied, "Uh…I said where's-"

"Edward G!" Kyle suddenly popped out from behind a grinding couple as he looked at Eddy and was wearing a white suit with a black tie and black dress shoes.

"The person I hate almost as much as my brother: Kyle Campbell!" Eddy uttered under his breath as Kyle walked up behind him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Yer not the only well-dressed rebel here!" Kyle joked. "But'chu may be the only one with sick hair spikes! I'd say no offense, but I'd be lyin' even if it's friendly! And sorry I haven't dance with you yet, Nazzie! I got caught up in a conversation with one of my friends! Wanda!"

A blue-haired girl in a green shoulder-less dress (Wanda) walked on-screen and stood next to Kyle as she smiled and uttered in an Australian accent, "Hi!" as Eddy angrily looked at Nazz (though he wasn't angry with her or Wanda) and then casually at Wanda and replied, "So, that's where you were!"

"Don't think I forgot about you, Eddy!" Wanda smiled before she stuck her hand out.

"I didn't!" Eddy turned around and took Wanda's hand. "But whadoya say we hit the floor and forget this guy, tonight! Or better yet, two months!"

Eddy and Wanda walked off-screen before Kyle angrily glared at Eddy for his line. Nazz grabbed Kyle's hand before she uttered, "C'mon, Kyle! Let's dance!" and ran onto the dance floor.

* * *

At the school's student parking lot, Maggie was tending to a crying Holly in her (Holly's) Cobalt.

"I just can't believe it!" she sobbed. "First my friends at Cherry Falls and now Ed! What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie!" Maggie hugged Holly. "But something's _very_ wrong with Ed! It just doesn't make sense that he likes you and just decided to break your heart on a night like this! That just isn't Ed! And you're not Holly if you think that!"

"I still love him, Maggie!" she continued to sob. "But-"

"There is no "but" in love, Holly!" Maggie grabbed Holly's wrists. "Look at me. Look at me! LOOK at me!"

Holly got silent as she looked at Maggie, but was still emitting tears. Maggie then uttered, "Do you really, truly, and _utterly_ love Ed?"

Holly hesitated for a moment before she shook her head yes.

"That's my girl!" Maggie smiled. "Now, I'll help you fix your face! But after that, we're gonna go find Eddy, Nazz, and Double D and figure this out, okay?"

Holly shook her head "yes" as she smiled before she opened the door.

* * *

Back inside, the song **Oh my Gosh **by "Usher" was reaching it's end lyrics and kids were doing rather sensual dance moves with their dates. As soon as the song ended, the Kankers busted into the cafeteria with evil smiles on their respective faces as the other kids stared at them in revulsion; especially Eddy and Edd (who was still at the snack table). Lee had her hair in a bun and was wearing a sleeveless yellow dress, while Marie wore a blue version of the outfit she wore in **May I have this Ed**. May was wearing a magenta summerdress and held hands with the enraged Ed, who was wearing a green tuxedo.

"What the hell?" Eddy lightly pushed Wanda aside. "Is that Ed…holding hands with a-a-a-a Kanker?"

"No way!" Kevin looked at Ed in shock.

"Inconceivable!" the bug-eyed Edd looked at Ed in disbelief.

The kids began talking all at once in amazement as they uttered the names "Ed" and "Holly".

"Nothing shocking here, everybody!" May sneered. "Just another guy proving he has common sense by going out with someone who makes him feel special!"

"Help me!" Ed randomly uttered under a false cough before Marie slapped him in the back of the head.

"Outta the way! Comin' through! Make room!" Eddy emerged from the crowd and ran in front of Ed with Kevin, Nazz, and Kyle right behind him. "Ed, what's goin' on? I thought you were takin' Holly! Why you holdin' hands with Bitchy McShittooth?"

"It's called bein' with the girl with all the right stuff!" May sneered. "Somethin' you would _never_ get!"

"Unless you stick with me!" Lee put her hands on Eddy's shoulders before he yelled, "Piss off! I don't know what's goin' on here, but I'm gonna find out!"

May responded by flipping Eddy off as he walked passed her and out the double-doors as Kevin, Nazz, and Kyle followed and the latter winked at the Kanker sisters knowingly. Marie then caught wind of Edd, who was about to follow his friends until he turned back around when he saw Marie! As he grabbed a drink…

"ENOUGH DRAMA!" Marie came up from behind Edd and grabbed him. "LET'S GET BACK TO THE PROM!"

"NOT GOOD!" Marie yanked Edd off-screen!

* * *

In the hallway, Kevin and Nazz were tryin' to catch up with the enraged Eddy as he walked down the hall; stomping with every step. Kyle fell behind and walked slowly as he grinned wickedly.

"Eddy, slow down, bro!" Kevin ran up to Eddy, who only walked faster. "Eddy! Eddy!"

"EDDY!" Nazz shouted before Eddy stopped in his tracks and Nazz walked in front of him in her heels. "I know something's up with what happened in there, but getting mad is not gonna solve anything!"

"She's right, dude!" Kevin put his hand on Eddy's shoulder. "We gotta-"

Kevin was cut off when he and the others heard Kyle snicker to himself and looked at him.

"What's so funny?" Kevin asked with a frown.

"Oh! Ah…nothin'!" Kyle lied. "Just thought of somethin' funny that happened in juvie!"

Eddy stared at Kyle with a frown as he slowly walked towards him. Almost as if he (Eddy) believed…

"You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with that crazy shit between Ed and May in there would'gu, Campbell?"

"Uh…no!" Kyle scoffed.

Eddy looked at Kyle with skeptical eyes and said, "Did you know…I can intimidate people…who I think are suspects…into singin' like a freakin' canary?"

"Oh, I'm pissin'!" Kyle smirked sarcastically.

"Oh, you 'bout to!" Eddy lunged for Kyle, but was being held back by Kevin as Nazz ran up in front of him (Eddy) and sternly uttered, "Eddy, stop! Look, I hate the Kankers and I want to find out what's going on as much as you do, but blaming someone else isn't going to get it done! What we need to do is find Holly so we can start setting things straight without starting more drama!"

"NAZZ!" Brooke stuck her head out the double doors. "THEY'RE ABOUT TO NAME THE NOMINEES FOR PROM KING AND QUEEN AFTER THIS NEXT SONG! GET IN HERE!"

Just then, a crowd of students busted through the double doors and grabbed both Kyle and Nazz before they all went back into the cafeteria. Eddy and Kevin looked at each other frustrated before…

"Eddy! Kevin!" Maggie and Holly ran up to the boys. "You're not gonna believe this!"

"Something went down to cause Ed not to go to prom with you but with May Kanker?" Kevin uttered.

"MAY KANKER?" Holly turned red with anger just as her teeth sharpened! She zipped for the double doors, but Eddy and Maggie reached out EEnE-style and pulled her back before she could go through the doors.

"Simmer down!" Maggie told Holly. "You can kick May's ass as soon as we find out what influence she has over the big guy! But it's gonna take a little extra brainpower. Where's Double D?"

"I'll get 'im. You head for the library! I'll meet'chu there!" Eddy walked towards the double doors before Maggie shouted, "How are we supposed to get in?"

Kevin smiled as he took out a large paper clip, which sparkled at the tip.

* * *

In the lunchroom, Lee just now tapped Ed to a wall so that May could grind on him!

"We won't be needing that tape in a couple of seconds, Lee!" May goofily smiled before she and Lee laughed.

"If breaking free wasn't going to make you break out the camera, you would be in SO much trouble right now!" Ed snarled.

"Whose gonna bust me? Your slutty girlfri—I mean, _ex_-girlfriend?"

"I'll make sure of it!" Ed uttered coldly.

Not too far from him, Marie was trying to kiss Edd with her cartoonishly lipstick-lined lips as she dipped him, but he kept her lips at bay (barely) by pushing her face away!

"Y'know, yer a real mood-killer, ya know that?" Marie asked annoyed.

"Save that term for someone who truly embodies it, Marie!" Edd retorted; referring to May.

"Mind if I cut in?" the off-screen Eddy grabbed Edd by his hat and yanked him off-screen before Marie twirled around in midair EEnE-style and fell face first onto the floor.

* * *

In the library, Eddy, Edd, Kevin, Maggie, and Holly were sitting at a table as they discussed Ed and the Kankers.

"Those Kankers just won't quit it with you guys, will they?" Holly asked angered. "They knew that pounding and kidnapping you wasn't gonna cut it! But still, who expects _them _to be so smart?"

"Never underestimate a member of your own gender, Holly!" Edd lectured. "Even if they do not display any physically attractive traits!"

"Let's stay focused here!" Maggie started. "We know for a fact that all three Kankers have a part in this sick plot and that they've somehow, like Holly and Double D said, gotten more cunning! But even then, they couldn't have pulled these strings alone!"

"What're you sayin'?" Kevin asked.

"I'm saying that based on what happened during Double D's relationship with Sarah and Cody's presidential win, they must've used their worldly connections to get more help from low-lives!" Maggie explained. "And this time around, they found one that's as clever as them…or you!" she looked at Eddy, who replied as everyone looked at him, "Oh, we'll see! Cuz if there's one thing I learned about snarin' crafty jackasses, it's that'chu gotta look at every single last fucking clue, big or small! Holly, throw me yer phone!"

Holly pulled out her cell phone and threw it to Eddy, who caught it and started looking through it before he uttered, "Ah hah!"

"What?" Holly stood up and looked at Eddy excitedly.

"Ed sent'chu this reject-text at 5:53 p.m.!" Eddy started.

"So?" Holly shook her head from left to right in confusion.

"The big guy takes 30-minute showers after him, me, Eddy, and Nate throw football after school at 4:00!" added Kevin. "We're normally done by 5:30, but today, we finished at 5:00 because of the prom! Me, Eddy, and Nate left around 5:17, but Ed, because he takes so damn long in the showers, stayed longer."

Everyone just stared at Kevin in awe. They have never really known a jock to have an attention span and memory at a vast level.

"What? I got a B- in math!" Kevin smirked proudly.

"Based on your knowledge and recollection, we can conclude the possibility of someone having contact with him during that time-gap!" Edd stood up; having caught on. "And if we can identify who it was, then-"

"We'll have a shot at getting my Ed back?" Holly stood up hopefully.

"There's a good chance!" Maggie thought. "All we need to do is have a look at the school's most recent tapes! Which are in-"

"The surveillance archives, which are in-" Edd jumped in.

"Abrams' class!" Eddy stood up.

* * *

Back in the cafeteria, Nazz was on-stage with a silver crown on her head while two boys stood behind her (one being Kyle) and a Caucasian lady in a pink dress held a big golden crown in her hand. She spoke into the microphone, _"AND YOUR PROM KING THIS YEAR IS…KYLE CAMPBELL!" _

The kids and their dates cheered wildly; especially the girls! The smiling Kyle walked up to the lady before she put the crown on his head and he grabbed Nazz's hand and the crowd cheered even louder!

"_AND, OF COURSE, TO REMAIN LOYAL TO WOOTTON PROM TRADITION, THE PROM KING AND QUEEN MUST DANCE TO A SLOW SONG!" _continued the lady. _"D.J?" _

The Disc Jockey played a slow song as Kyle and Nazz slowly stepped off-stage and held hands as they prepared to dance.

* * *

Meanwhile, Edd was looking through the school's surveillance tapes in the aforementioned archives, which were in chronological order, to locate the recorded disc that he and his friends needed to set things right. "AH!" he exclaimed victoriously as he grabbed an off-screen disc. In Abrams' post-production room, Eddy, Kevin, Holly, and Maggie sat at a table with an advanced-looking Flatscreen computer with a disc-player.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have obtained the key to unlocking our repulsively sickening mystery!" Edd walked in with the disc.

"And that's the one to the locker rooms' hallway?" Kevin asked.

"From earlier on, yes indeedy!" Edd popped the disc into the player and took a seat before he began typing on the computer at a relatively quick pace.

Everyone turned their attention to the computer screen before a box with gray footage of students coming in and out of the boys' and girls' locker rooms (respectively) popped up.

"That's school hours, Double D." Maggie spoke. "We need to fast-forward!"

"2 proverbial steps ahead of you, Maggie!" Edd continued to type before the box showed four blurs standing in front of the boys' locker room at precisely "5:50 p.m."

"There! Stop there!" Maggie pointed to the screen before Edd did so. "Now, why would these guys be going to the boys' locker room that late? And how do they know it's unlock?"

"I can't make out who they are!" Holly squinted. "Double D, can you please focus it so I can know exactly whose ass is gonna be mine?"

"As you wish!" Edd replied with intention. He typed vigorously as the screen zoomed through layer after layer to identify the four blurs. When the image was finally clear, surprise and rage filled everyone's eyes and hearts; especially Eddy's! He shouted as he stood up, "CAMPBELL! THAT BACKSTABBING SON OF A BITCH! I KNEW HE HAD SOMETHIN' TO DO WITH THIS!"

"To think he was a reformed peer!" Edd shook his head from left to right.

"Knowin' this dick, he must've got some dirt on Ed!" Kevin stroked his chin hairs. "Or he _planted_ some!"

Taking Kevin's deduction into thought, Eddy turned around and barged out of the room before the others got up out of their seats and followed him as Kevin and Edd shouted, "Eddy, wait!"

* * *

In the cafeteria, all was quiet and peaceful as everyone danced with their dates. Among them was Rolf (who was wearing a wool tuxedo), who slow-danced with Rhonda and Wanda simultaneously! Lee and Marie were at the snack table while Ed was forced to dance with May after she tapped his hands to her butt (**A twist of Ed**)! Kyle and Nazz were in the middle of the room dancing before the former attempted to kiss Nazz!

"_Kyle, what're you doing?" _Nazz whispered as she turned her head away.

"_I just thought-" _

"_This is only a one-time date! And it's not really a date!" _Nazz uttered. _"Besides, dancing and then kissing is just too fast for me."_

Just then, Eddy and the others busted through the double doors and scoped the place out for Kyle and Nazz as the other kids looked at them; including the Kankers!

"There's our dates!" Lee and Marie walked towards Eddy and Edd. But Eddy stomped right passed them and towards Kyle and Nazz as several girls and boys looked at him curious.

"_I know there's a REAL reason why you don't wanna take things a little faster!" _Kyle whispered. _"Cool and respectable girls like you ALWAYS have a reason!…There's another dude isn't there?" _

"_Kyle, look!" _Nazz released Kyle's hands as he continued, _"It's fine! As long as it's not Gates! I mean, let's face it! I know he's yer friend, but he's a real ass—_UGHHH!_" _

Kyle failed to finish his sentence when Eddy walked up behind him and performed a rear-naked choke on him before he (Kyle) began to fall unconscious! He tried to resist, but Eddy's strength and stamina outmatched his!

"What the heck are you doing?" Nazz asked shocked before everyone turned their attention to Eddy, Nazz, and the barely-conscious Kyle. May angrily looked over to her sisters as Kevin, Maggie, Nate, Brooke, and Ed rushed over to Eddy and Nazz's area to see if they needed to intervene.

"Showin' yer prom king's real colors!" Eddy dug into the now-unconscious Kyle's left pocket and pulled out his digital camera! "Hello!"

"LEE! MARIE! DO SOMETHIN'!"May shouted. "HE'S RUINING-"

May was cut off when the grinning Ed (who saw Eddy's attack) suddenly ripped his arms free and pushed her aside before he ran towards the stage as the others watched. Eddy and Nazz looked at the picture where Ed was holding Kyle's date-rape drug before Ed uttered over the microphone, _"FRIENDS AND DATERS! I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!...I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS FOR MAY KANKER AT ALL! SHE IS ABSOLUTELY THE LAST PERSON I WOULD EVER GO OUT WITH! AND THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR MY BOYS, EDDY AND DOUBLE D!...THERE IS ONLY ONE GIRL IN THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL THAT I WOULD DIE FOR! ONLY ONE GIRL THAT I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH! AND ONLY ONE GIRL…THAT WOULDN'T BLACKMAIL ME INTO GIVING UP MY FEELINGS!...AND THAT'S YOU, HOLLY!" _

All of the students uttered, "AWWWWWWWWW!" as Holly developed some tears and a jealous May grinded her teeth!

"_AND FOR THOSE OF YOU GIRLS WHO THINK KYLE IS A SWEET HOT GUY NOW, THEN WHY DON'T'CHU ASK HIM WHY EDDY JUST KNOCKED HIM OUT?" _Ed looked at Eddy and nodded and vice-versa.

Eddy picked Kyle up by his suit jacket, grabbed the back of his hair, and dragged him over to a snack table before he put his head in a green punchbowl! When Kyle woke up, Eddy yanked him out of the bowl and made him face the silent crowd that was looking at him!

"We're wise to your act, Campbell!" Eddy clinched his teeth in anger. "Start talkin'!"

Kyle caught his breath and spat as Eddy twisted his arm back. He (Kyle) looked over at the Kankers, who clinched their fists threateningly! Not intimidated, he spilled "May Kanker paid me to put date-rape in Fuller's locker room locker and take a picture of 'im holdin' it!"

Everyone gasped and looked at each other in shock and anger as Kyle continued, "And if Fuller didn't do what she said, well…let's just say that part of my job description involves using how fast word gets around as an advantage!"

"You made a deal with the Kankers that involved ruining poor innocent Ed's reputation for some money?" Nazz angrily walked up to Kyle. "Where do you get off?"

"What can I say, Nazzie?" Kyle smirked. "Once a criminal gets his first taste, it's not up to him to decide when to quit!" he kissed her on the lips before Nazz kicked him in the groin and Eddy put him to sleep in another rear-naked choke!

"GET HIM!" Nate shouted before an angry mob ran towards the unconscious Kyle before Ed yelled, _"WAIT!" _and everyone stopped in their tracks to look at him. _"DON'T WASTE YOUR VIOLENCE ON HIM! EVEN IF HE __**IS**__ A LOWLIFE! MAY KANKER!" _Ed pointed to the Kanker sisters. _"SHE'S THE MASTERMIND! IF IT WASN'T FOR HER, YOU WOULDN'T SHARE MY EMOTIONS ON A THIS NOT-SO-PERFECT NIGHT! GET MAY!" _

"GET MAY!" Everyone followed Ed's order and charged towards the Kanker sisters! Lee and Marie stood their ground before May jumped in front of her sisters, dug into the floor, and ripped out a huge chunk of concrete before she shaped it into a ball and made everyone stop in their tracks!

"YOU SKANKS AND BASTARDS DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BEAT A KANKER!" May gloated before a girl's black high-heel shoe hit her (May) upside the head! May turned to her right and saw that an enraged Holly was staring her down! "OOH, I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!" May tossed the concrete ball at Holly, but she caught it with one hand and ripped it in half before she gave May the "Bring it on" hand!

May lunged at Holly and vice-versa before Holly tackled May to the floor and threw her into the snack table!

"Girl's as strong as her man!" Nate uttered.

"Not quite!" Eddy smirked. "Less than the lump, but more than Sarah!"

Just then, May threw Holly into wall before she (May) jumped up in the air and landed on her back before she (Holly) screamed in pain!

"NO!" Ed tried to rush to Holly's defense, but Eddy, Nate, Kevin, Maggie, and Nazz subdued him as the girls shouted, "ED, STOP!"

May then lifted Holly's head up by her hair and pulled out a pocketknife as she uttered, "JUST REMEMBER, THIS IS WHAT'CHU GET FOR TRYIN' TO TAKE WHAT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!" Upon hearing this, Holly huffed as May stuck the pocketknife in her mouth and suddenly wrapped her (Holly's) legs around May's waist before she swung her (May) out from underneath her and made her (May) crash into and destroy a snack table! Holly spat the pocketknife out and angrily lunged at May! The moment she (May) opened her eyes, she screamed, "AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!" before Holly began beating her to a pulp as her friends cheered and the daters started recording the fight on their cell phones!

"MAY!" Marie ran towards May, but was subdued by Lee!

As soon as Holly and May's fighting cloud faded, Holly stood up with her dress all filthy as she angrily looked down at May, who was missing her two front teeth, half of her left ear, and sported bruises all over her face! Her dress was also torn and ripped beyond re-sewing! Eddy, Kevin, Nate, Nazz, and Maggie relinquished their grip on the surprised Ed and started pushing the crowd back as they said at once, "ALL RIGHT, SHOW'S OVER, FOLKS! BACK IT UP! NOTHIN' TO SEE HERE! BACK UP, DUDES!"

Ed slowly walked over to Holly as she kicked the badly-beaten May over to her sisters. Lee motioned for Marie to get May; having been forced to retreat.

"This ain't over!" Marie threw May over her shoulder and followed Lee out of the cafeteria.

Ed touched Holly's shoulder before she turned around and uttered softly, "_Ed!_" as she touched his face.

"_Holly!_" Ed softly wrapped his arms around Holly before he dipped her and kissed her on the lips as she closed her eyes and put her hand on his face!

"WHHHHOOOOOOOOO!" Nazz, Maggie, and Brooke cheered as Eddy, Edd, Kevin, and Nate looked at them proudly as they folded their arms.

"Never saw it comin'!" Kevin shook his head from left to right. "The King of Muscle found his queen!"

"That reminds me!" Eddy bent down towards the unconscious Kyle and took his crown as he uttered, "You don't deserve this!" and the pink dress lady showed up and added, "But I know who does!" as she took the crown.

"Give 'im a minute, will ya?" Eddy smiled; referring to Ed.

"Oh, you're so modest!" the lady put the crown on Eddy's head much to his surprise.

"But-" Eddy started.

"Any student who cares about his friend enough to strangle someone involved sounds like prom king material to me! Nominated or not!" the lady and the cul-de-sac kids (including Ed and Holly) clapped as Nazz walked up to him and grabbed his hand!

"Now, enough of this cliché high school sappy moments!" Nate uttered. "Let's get back to the prom, man!"

All the others agreed and got back on the dance floor as Eddy uttered, "Yeah! D.J. Gimme a-"

Nazz tugged Eddy's arm as she pointed to the dateless Wanda, who looked at her sister and Kevin.

"Oh, yeah!" Eddy looked around the cafeteria until he spotted Jonny (who was wearing his regular clothes with the exception of a green vest) eating and drinking alone at a snack table. Eddy smirked before he yelled, "YO, WANDA!" and she rushed over to him. "See that mixed kid with peach fuzz on his head?" Eddy pointed to Jonny as Wanda shook her head. "He's-" Eddy whispered something in Wanda's ear before she uttered, "OOH!" and ran towards him.

"Better?" Eddy looked at Nazz.

"Perfect! As long as you don't try to kiss me!" Nazz smiled back.

"But I can do this, right?" Eddy grabbed Nazz's butt before she squealed!

Down a table, Edd looked at the dateless Maggie after he drunk one more cup of green punch. He fixed his shirt, before he muttered to himself, "All right, Eddward! If there was a time to gain testicular courage tonight, it would most definitely be now!" He walked up to Maggie (who smiled at him) and started sweating as he uttered, "Evening…Maggie! Would you…c-c-care…to…dance? W-W-With me?"

"Well...I'm messing with you! You're the only one I would dance with!" Maggie smiled as she grabbed Edd's hands and took him to the dance floor.

"Hey, prom king!" Ed and Holly walked up to Eddy and Nazz as they held hands. "Got any songs in mind for tonight? It _is_ your choice!"

"Might I suggest a slow, jazz song to coincide the tone of-" Edd started.

"Jazz? Yeah right, Sinatra!" laughed Eddy. "Yo, D.J! Gimme a beat to-"

Nate whispered something in Eddy's ear before the former uttered, "Rock yo hips!"

The D.J. played the song **Rock yo hips **before Brooke started grinding on Nate, Nazz started grinding on Eddy, Holly happily grinded on Ed, and Maggie suggestively grinded on the sweating Edd, who started turning red soon after! As all of the kids danced, Lee stuck her head through the double doors and tiptoed over to the still-unconscious Kyle before she threw him over her shoulder and tiptoed out as the screen faded to black!

**End of episode 8**

**

* * *

****Phoenix's note: Eddy's "I mistook you for Scarlett Johansson" line is a reference to my favorite movie, "Iron man 2". In which, Scarlett's character, "Black Widow", wears the same dress as Nazz at one point during the movie.**

**

* * *

****And I know you were expecting some action from Ed, but next episode, things are gonna be heart-pounding for the EddxMaggie pairing! Till then, later!**

* * *

**Title Reference: A Date with Destiny**


	17. The things I do for Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note: **Sorry, for the long wait, fans! But with me getting unpredictable hours at work and homework from school, this may continue. Anyway, here's episode 9!

**

* * *

****EPISODE 9: THE THINGS I DO FOR ED**

* * *

The screen's blackness disappeared as the lights clicked on in a small shed, where Maggie and Edd could be seen standing in the doorway. For some reason, Edd's long hair was cut like his younger incarnation three years back.

"C'mon in!" Maggie cheerfully told the astonished Edd as he walked in.

The shed was not like any average backyard shack. It was filled with what Edd would never expect to see: inventions! There was a five-layer shelf filled with formulas and potions of both liquid and liquid-like proportions. On the opposing walls, there were many unique machines from hand-held devices on shelves to robotic inventions in the corners!

"Magnificent!" Edd exclaimed under his breath. "Are these…_your_ inventions?"

"No! They're my parents'!" Maggie replied with a sarcastic smile. "Duh, they're mine!"

"My apologies, Maggie!" Edd uttered. "But don't think for a second that I believed that they were your parents'! For your pharmaceutically knowledgeable mother has barely the leisure time while your home designing father lacks said time!"

"You must be a method actor for having all these lines and not screwing up once!" Maggie shook her head from left to right as she smiled.

"And you must metaphorically have all of the time in the world to formulate all these wondrous creations!" Edd walked up to Maggie's shelf.

"Speaking of the world, I want to show you exactly which of these inventions mean it to me!" Maggie walked over to her wall of robots as Edd walked up behind her. She picked up a small one and put it on the table. It was very bulky and had a head that resembled a tiki with a hat-like formation at the top. "This one…means the most to me."

"It certainly has a unique structure, Maggie." Edd pulled his chin hairs.

"That's because…it's an expression…based on you." Maggie replied: surprising Edd. "It represents…how you make me feel. When I made this, Double D…I could _only_…think about you. These other contraptions that I've made…were inspired by you, too, but…I didn't feel the…passion and the…entirety of my emotions…when I did so. I used to invent…because it was…just another hobby! But now…ever since I met you…I've only been inventing…because of you."

Edd just stood there speechless and surprised. He always wondered just how much Maggie cared for him even when he wasn't around. He blushed and sweated for a moment, but ultimately suppressed it having been fed up with his shy nature.

"Well…as long as we are discussing how our inventions are based on our feelings…" started Edd. "…I believe it is time to show you mine…for you."

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to Edd's basement, which no longer harbored a laundry room appearance. It instead resembled a home-theater, but was much more advanced and had a new-generation flatscreen computer on a large, technologically enhanced desk behind the seats. On the wall in front was a giant, equally technologically enhanced flatscreen TV. There was also a large machine covered in a white cloth where Edd's invention shelf (**3 squares and an Ed**) used to be. Maggie looked around and uttered, "What's that over there?"

"A prototypical experiment!" Edd replied as he walked up to the desk. "And an eventual part of what I am about to show you!"

"A movie?" Maggie joked.

"Well, it does involve a screen, but it is much less headache-inducing!" Edd typed on the computer before he ran over to the giant white cloth and pulled it off. Underneath was a large, dome-shaped machine that suddenly opened up like an egg yolk before Edd stepped inside of it as he put a watch-like device on his left wrist.

"Follow me, please!" Edd stuck his hand out to Maggie and helped her into the machine.

"Where are we going?" Maggie looked at Edd.

"To see a show…with floor seats!" Edd pressed the top of his watch before he and Maggie were suddenly zapped out of the dome and on a large tree branch in what appeared to be a rain forest with prehistoric plants all around!

Edd smiled knowingly while Maggie looked surprised and shocked as the camera zoomed in on her before it switched to the thing she was looking at: dinosaurs! More specifically, _Brachiosaurs_ eating leaves off of other trees, _stegosaurs_ grunting as they trudged around, and a herd of _camarasauruses_ running past the camera! On the branch, Maggie uttered, "Oh…my…GOD! I absolutely love dinosaurs! And they can see us?"

"As does a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_ based on movement!" joked Edd. "And this is only the Jurassic period! The Cretaceous and Triassic periods of both early and late origin are also part of my digital world creation system!"

"Oh, my—I can't believe—I—I…" Maggie stuttered excitedly. "Do you have any _Rhamphorhynchuses_?"

Edd smiled as he pointed to the sky to show passing pterodactyls (AKA _Rhamphorhynchus__es_), much to Maggie's fascination. She then lied on Edd's shoulder content as she saw the beauty of the digital, but realistic world of prehistoric life. And this time around, Edd didn't sweat or blush! He simply looked down at Maggie lovingly.

"Maggie?" Edd uttered softly.

"Yes, Edd?" Maggie replied with affection.

"I have something I wish to tell you…and to show you." Edd continued to look at her.

Maggie sat back up and knowingly replied, "You want to show me what's under your hat? But…you've never even shown Sarah. Or Eddy and Ed!"

"On purpose that is!" Edd replied. "I believe that…you and I…have reached a point where…we should no longer keep our emotions…and secrets bound! So, before I…expose my most carefully guarded secret to you…I want you to know that I…"

Maggie looked at Edd in surprise. Was he finally going to do what he's been trying to do for quite sometime?

"I…I…" Edd and Maggie moved in for a kiss, but out of internal fear, the former pressed the top of his watch before he and Maggie were transported from the tree branch and back to the teleportation dome just as it opened up and they remained sitting. "I'm sorry. You must find me feeble by this point in time."

"Double D…" Maggie started. "You know me better than any other boy in Peach Creek. My background aside, I still would've waited on you if I found you or not. And I'm going to keep it up as long as you will. So don't think for a second that I think you're pathetic!"

Edd smiled at Maggie before she grabbed his hand, stood up, and uttered, "Now!"

* * *

Outside of Maggie's house, Maggie and Edd were talking.

"Perhaps!" Edd raised his left eyebrow.

"Perhaps nothing!" Maggie replied with a smile. "When I come back over there, I want to see some prehistoric violence! Full on Jurassic Park!"

Edd and Maggie hugged each other good night before the latter walked into her house. As a smiling Edd walked away, unbeknownst to him, the Kanker sisters watched the whole thing on top of Maggie's neighbor's roof! In the middle sat Marie, who was looking quite disgruntled and outraged; but was still in control.

"Temper, Marie!" May lectured.

"Shut up!" Marie retorted. "Unbelievable! I thought Sarah was a pain in my ass, but this girly version of Double D just knocked her off the list!"

"Welcome to our world!" Lee replied. "Now, what do you got in mind? Hopefully, somethin' that isn't gonna get us busted like last time!"

Marie put her hand on her chin before she sneered deviously, "We're gonna take another trip to _my_ cutie pie's house and find out what exactly they were talkin' about!"

"Maybe you didn't hear me!" Lee glared at Marie. "We're-"

"Oh, I heard you! And I know what yer gonna say!" Marie interrupted. "And that's exactly why May's stayin' OUTSIDE!"

"Are you ever gonna forget that?" May frowned.

"Are you ever gonna go to the dentist?" Marie snapped mockingly.

* * *

Inside Maggie's purple-walled kitchen, Maggie had just grabbed a root beer out of the fridge. As she prepared to walk out of the doorway while opening the bottle, her father stood in front of her. Her father had combed red hair, a five-o-clock shadow, stood 6'0, and was wearing a short-sleeve blue shirt, red jeans, and off-screen shoes.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Maggie asked.

"Shouldn't you?" Mr. Hood retorted.

"It's only 8:30!" Maggie smirked.

"That's still too late if you're out with a _boy_!" Mr. Hood growled.

"You said you liked Double D!" Maggie folded her arms.

"Yes, Carter! You _did_ say that!" the off-screen Mrs. Hood uttered from behind her husband (Carter).

Mrs. Hood emerged from behind her husband. She strongly resembled her daughter in appearance. Except she stood 5'8, had blue hair that was tied into a bun, and was wearing a long-sleeve red shirt, blue jeans, and off-screen shoes.

"It doesn't matter if I like him or not, Cherie!" Carter told his wife (Cherie). "Maggie's still too young to be staying out this late with a boy!"

"She's 16!" Cherie swung her hips.

"Yeah, but-"

"Carter!" Cherie sternly interrupted.

Carter suddenly fell to his knees and hugged his wife as he humorously confessed, "All right! All right! I'm sorry!" he stood back up and pointed to Maggie "hug me" style. "I just…can't cope with my little Margaret Roxanne Hood growing up so fast!"

"I know, sweetheart! I know!" Cherie smiled as she walked into the kitchen with Carter. "But it's gotta happen sooner or later! Now, let's get you some warm cappuccino to settle your emotions…again!"

"Can I have some ice cream, too?" Carter asked.

"For the last time, Carter, you're not getting my mint chocolate chip ice cream!" Cherie angrily replied as Maggie shook her head from left to right when her parents walked passed her.

"Why not?" Carter argued off-screen. "It gives you nightmares anyway!"

"Nice try!" Cherie argued off-screen. "That's rocky road!"

* * *

On the nocturnal streets of Peach Creek Estates, Edd walked up to his house as he muttered, "Get it together, Eddward! She may be as patient as she is remarkably intelligent and staggeringly attractive, but she is still an adolescent female with needs! And fate has chosen you to be the one to supply her with them!"

As he touched his doorknob, an arm with an off-screen body grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him off-screen! The person was Eddy, who was wearing a Michael Myers mask as he ran down the street laughing along with Ed, Kevin, and Nate; who were also wearing Michael Myers masks! The boys ran at EEnE-speed to Ed's house before they dived through his window and fell onto the floor as they continued laughing!

"I take it that your puerile prank was executed with success?" Edd stood up and brushed himself off.

"Dude, you have no idea!" Kevin took off his mask. "Caird actually thought that Michael Myers was everywhere he ran! He's at home right now suckin' his thumb thinkin' it was a dream! What a dick!"

"That'll teach 'im to give us detention for a food fight we ain't start!" Eddy took off his mask.

"But you were involved!" Edd remembered. "And with your reputations, that is quite enough!"

"So, Double D!" Ed sat in his chair. "You break it with Maggie yet?"

Edd looked down in sadness and disappointment before Nate replied, "Think you got'cher answer, brah!"

"Make no mistake, gentlemen, I actually tried-" Edd started.

"Double D!" Eddy wrapped his hand around Edd's neck buddy-style. "I'm gonna tell you this just because your cousin's got Strepthroat and can't!"

"I thought Brooke had Strepthroat!" Edd replied.

"It's an epidemic! Even Ed's sister and Jimmy got it!" he and Edd sat down on Ed's bed. "Now-"

"Before you utter an inspiring speech based on your apparent promiscuity, let me just say that…I was going to reveal to her my secret!" Edd pointed to his hat before all of the other boys gasped.

"But Double D!" Ed looked at his friend surprised. "You've _never_ shown _anybody _what's under there on purpose! Not even Eddy and me! Or my sister when she was stalking you that day!"

"Contrary to rare belief, Maggie is not just anybody!" Edd smirked. "Not even…before she resided here."

**

* * *

****Flashback- Three years and some months ago. At Orchid Fountain Junior High and in Mrs. Fahlenbock's Social Studies class, a 12 to 13-year-old Maggie was among many other students, but was sitting next to two pretty, twin light-blue-haired girls and was helping an African-American jock with what appeared to be his homework. **

**Maggie had her purple hair tied into a bun (like her mother) and was wearing a white tank top with a short-sleeve purple shirt underneath, blue jeans, and white sneakers with purple soles. As the black jock walked off after touching Maggie's chin, one of the twin girls told her, "You do know he's not really into you, right?" **

"**What do you mean?" Maggie asked innocently. **

"**Don't play innocent with us." the other light-green twin replied. "You're too smart for that!" **

"**And that's one of the only two reasons why guys only come to you…no offense!" the first twin added.**

"**Too late! Start explaining!" Maggie frowned. **

"**Maggie, look!" the first twin continued.** **"Guys from this town, as you know from being born here, look at a girl and decide if they want to make one their girlfriend or their girl-toy! Curtis is an example! He only came to you because you're a genius, not because you're hot or nice!" **

"**And the ones that **_**do**_** come to you because you're hot normally only-scratch that—**_**only **_**look at your butt and decide to hit-and-run!" the second twin finished.**

"**That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Even from you guys!" Maggie got up out of her seat and swung her hip. Just then, a black kid walked by Maggie and slapped her on the butt! "HEY!" she angrily turned around. Prompting that, a Caucasian kid slapped her on the butt next! "HEY!" she turned around again! This time, she covered her butt with her hands. **

**After which, a Goth kid grabbed Maggie's waist (which made her remove her arms out of surprise) and rubbed her butt against his midsection before he ran off laughing and Maggie gasped as she looked at him! She then looked back at the twins before they uttered in unison, "See?" **

"**And it's not just the guys you get the attention from!" the second twin started. "Two of the ones who just violated you have girlfriends! Very jealous girlfriends who'll come at you instead of them!" **

"**There's only one way out of this, Maggie! And you know what it is!" the first twin jumped in. "You have to change who you are!" **

"**No!" Maggie retorted. "I'm not gonna change who I am just because people have no self-control or emotional issues! So, the hell with that!" **

"**Language, Margaret!" Mrs. Fahlenbock lectured off-screen. **

**At that moment, the bell rang before a montage of the rest of Maggie's day began. Maggie was getting books out of her locker when a Caucasian kid grabbed her butt and made her turn around in anger! Just then, a paper airplane flew towards her before she caught it and opened it up. The paper read, "Tramp!" and Maggie looked at the angered blonde girl who threw it! **

**Later, she was seen walking towards the popular girls' table and appeared to be welcomed. But as she bent over to put her tray down, a black kid suddenly ran up behind her and pretended to act like a male dog behind a female dog! The other kids laughed as Maggie turned around disgusted and the kid ran off! She looked back at the girls, who angrily used hand signs to tell her to go away before she did so.**

**On the track, Maggie (now wearing a white T-shirt and jogging pants) was running alone as she breathed heavily. Not too far away, three Caucasian boys were hooting and laughing as they looked at and called out to Maggie, who ignored them with annoyance. Just then, one of the boys reached off-screen EEnE-style and pointed a hose at Maggie. Just then, he shot water directly at Maggie's chest: revealing to the boys her budding bosoms as they remained off-screen!**

"**NICE!" The boys laughed as the mortified Maggie covered her chest and ran off-screen. **

**5 minutes before the dismissal bell rang, an angered Maggie was getting her backpack out of her locker before she turned around and saw many equally angered boys staring at her!**

"**WHAT?" Maggie angrily snapped. **

"**We're sick of you're goody-goody hard-to-get attitude!" a black kid yelled. "There ain't no room for girls like you even if you are born here! So, you can either check yoself or check out!"**

**Maggie slammed her locker door and shouted, "HOW ABOUT **_**YOU**_** CHECK OUT?" before she suddenly ripped a giant square floor tile out of the floor and tossed it at the boys and they jumped out of the way! When they looked back up as they stood up, they saw that Maggie was gone!**

**In a large house, Maggie was talking to her parents as they sat on the couch and she (Maggie) started crying.**

"**IT'S THE SAME THING EVERYDAY!" Maggie shouted. "BOYS ALWAYS LOOK AT ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF EMOTIONLESS SEX DOLL AND THE GIRLS ARE ALL TOO STUPID TO LISTEN TO REASON AND MESS WITH THEM INSTEAD OF ME! AND THEY ALL KEEP ON TELLING ME THAT I NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF IF I WANT TO HAVE **_**REAL **_**FRIENDS AND A **_**REAL **_**BOYFRIEND! I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM, ALL! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M ASKING YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THIS TIME! **_**CAN WE PLEASE MOVE?**_**" **

**Maggie started sobbing louder before Carter ran up to her and hugged her sincerely as he uttered, "Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! It's okay, pumpkin! It's okay!"**

"**You know what, Carter?" Cherie stood up with a fed-up facial expression. "I am getting tired of having to take crap from her school as well as my job here! Maybe it's best if we **_**do**_** move!" **

"**Of course it is!" Carter turned around to face his wife before he looked down at his daughter and said, "Go upstairs and wash your face, okay sweetie?" Maggie shook her head "yes" before she ran off-screen. "I'm sick of all these boys coming onto her like she's the only poodle in a Chihuahua cage! And besides, this place is turning out a lot like Lemon Brooke and I don't want to be here when it's **_**done**_** turning!" He walked towards his wife. "And I know just the place where we can get away from it all!" he went into his left pocket and pulled out a picture of a two-story house in… "Peach Creek Estates!" **

**The camera zoomed in on the picture of the house before the screen transitioned to the actual house a month later. A moving truck just drove off-screen and Maggie stood in the driveway with a deadpan facial expression as Cherie stuck her head out through the front door. **

"**Maggie! Come inside and unpack your things!" Cherie yelled. **

"**Okay!" Maggie cheerfully turned around and started to walk towards her front door. **

**Just then, "WHOA!" Nazz and Holly raced past the house on skates and grabbed the attention of Cherie and Maggie!**

"**Hey, Nazz!" Holly shouted to Nazz. "I think someone just moved in back there!" **

"**Duh! I saw them!" Nazz looked at Holly. "Let's go say hi!" **

**The girls rotated around the cul-de-sac (not the main one) and raced back towards the Hood house. Maggie walked towards the driveway as Nazz and Holly rode up on it.**

"**You guys are fast!" Maggie smiled. **

"**You should see us on the ice in the winter!" Holly replied. **

"**But you'd totally get a laugh out of her on the ice!" Nazz joked. "Welcome to Peach Creek by the way! I'm Nazz!" **

"**And I'm Holly!" Holly introduced herself.**

"**I'm Margaret!" Maggie introduced herself. "But everyone calls me "Maggie"! Everyone who I thought were my friends anyway." She looked down sadly. **

"**What happened at your old town?" Nazz asked. **

"**Peer pressure!" Maggie replied. "Let me tell you! At Orchid Fountain, you've got a better chance at making friends with a dog on drugs!" **

"**I've been to that town!" Holly uttered. "Their people are as snooty and annoying as I don't know what! No offense!" **

"**Believe me! None taken!" Maggie put her hands up. **

"**Well, even if it is a crappy town, it was your old one and you didn't have friends from what you've told us!" Nazz walked up to her and touched her shoulder. "And that's why we're gonna help you forget all about that and be your friends! Your **_**real**_** friends! Because in Peach Creek, we're friends…who are always there…to help you!" **

**Maggie tearfully smiled at the fact that she had just now been accepted into a group for who she was. Cherie witnessed the whole thing and smiled as well. **

"**You wanna come skate with us…friend?" Holly smiled.**

**Maggie looked at Cherie and uttered hopefully, "Mom?" who replied by throwing her (Maggie) her skates before she caught them. Cherie winked at her daughter before she (Maggie) put her skates on at EEnE-speed and stood up next to her two new friends. **

"**Candy store?" Nazz looked at her friends. **

"**Oh, yeah!" Holly and Maggie replied in unison. **

**The three girls grabbed one another's arms and skated down the street side-by-side-by-side and towards the camera before the screen flashed white and reopened in Ed's room in the current time.**

* * *

"Wow, Double D." Ed uttered. "My sister has _never _opened up to you like Maggie has."

"And that's sayin' somethin'! Double D…" Eddy put his hand on Edd's shoulder, "…I think you found your soulmate." Edd looked at Eddy with an affirmative smile. "Right, boys?"

Ed, Edd, and Eddy looked on the floor and saw Kevin and Nate sleeping after hearing Edd's story!

"Insensitive bastards!" Eddy shook his head from left to right.

* * *

Meanwhile in Edd's unoccupied basement, a chainsaw cut out a large, circular piece of wall from the inside. The holder of said chainsaw was…Marie Kanker!

"You'da thought that we'd end up in China after all that diggin'!" the dirt-covered Marie stepped out of the wall.

"Chinese food actually sounds good right now!" Lee stepped out of the wall.

The sisters looked around in awe as they gazed upon Edd's renovated basement.

"Whoa!" Lee walked up to Edd's dome machine. "That man of yours is like one of those stiffs in horror movies!"

Marie walked up to Edd's advanced computer and deviously began typing random keys before Edd's dome machine opened up and the computer's screen read, "WARNING: VIRUS CONJURATION"! Next, the advanced screen on the wall ahead suddenly showed flashing images of the digitalized Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods respectively as a response to the virus Marie was creating!

"What're you doin'?" Lee walked up behind Marie.

"I saw Double D making plans for this thing last month in the library!" Marie continued to worsen the system. "I don't know what makes it tick, but I do know he needs his computer to make it work!" Marie suddenly stopped typing before she sneered at Lee, "Get May for me!"

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to Maggie's kitchen, where Maggie herself was seen on the phone with Nazz.

"Duh! Fitzgerald's Secret!" Maggie smirked. "Johnson Fashions is _so _'06!…Well, Holly needs to have her closet burned!"

Just then, the doorbell rang before Maggie uttered, "Oh my god! Hold on a minute, Nazz!" Maggie put her phone down on the counter and walked off-screen. Unbeknownst to her, Nazz and Holly could be heard on the other end screaming, "WHAT THE HELL? AAAAGGGGHHHHH!" as the sound of crashing and ferocious barking could be heard!

Maggie opened her door and uttered, "Do you know what time-" before an off-screen Marie punched her in the face!

* * *

Down near Maggie's road, Jonny was riding on his Suzuki Hayabusa with Plank tied to the front of the handlebars.

"Whoo-hoo-hoo!" Jonny yelped thrilled. "This sure beats the heck outta that ol' scooter, huh buddy? HUH?"

Jonny stopped his motorcycle in time to see Marie throw an unconscious Maggie onto a wheelbarrow!

"_Holy shit!" _Jonny exclaimed under his breath in disbelief. _"...As if they didn't sink low enough!" _

Marie turned the wheelbarrow around and saw Jonny sitting on his motorcycle watching her!

"Oh, great! That weird kid's not in his house!" Marie swung her hip. "Good thing I'm prepared! Sick 'im, crowbar!"

The camera moved down and showed an unnaturally muscular, gray Rottweiler growling and slobbering as it looked at Jonny with it's pupil-less yellow eyes!

"HANG ON, BUDDY!" Jonny turned his motorcycle around and drove past the screen at great speed as the dog chased him! And because of its mutated appearance, it was easily able to tailgate him!

Marie cackled softly as she pushed her wheelbarrow off-screen. Just as well, the mutant dog tried to bite Jonny's back tire, but he (Jonny) barely maneuvered his bike away from its jagged teeth!

"I'VE HEARD OF DOGS CHASING CARS, BUT THIS IS NUTS!" Jonny shouted as he made a left turn down another street and the dog continued to give chase! "NO KIDDIN' WE GOTTA THROW THIS THING OFF OUR TAIL!" Jonny inhaled before he made an artificial "bird of prey" call three times.

Just then, right before the dog could take a bite out of Jonny's back tire like a donut, a flock of buzzards flew low and snatched the dog up before they flew away with it!

"LICK THE BONES CLEAN!" Jonny shouted to the off-screen birds. When he reached the cul-de-sac (the main one), he stopped in bug-eyed shock when he saw Rolf, Ed, Eddy, Nazz, Holly, Nate, and Kevin fighting off three mutant dogs with parts of their respective clothes ripped and battle dirt on almost all of them! Edd watched from atop of a dimming streetlight.

"HANG ON, NATE!" Holly held one dog by its tail as it pinned Nate down and slobbered on his face!

"AS MUCH AS I LOVE DOGS—HYAH!" Nate kicked the dog off of him and high into the air before Ed suddenly showed up in its path and put both of his fists together before he ferociously struck the beast back towards the ground! Kevin pulled out a javelin and jammed the metal part into a crack in the ground before the dog fell onto the wooden part of the javelin and died as it's body slid down!

"Hope the fans know that no actual animal was—UNH!" Kevin was knocked into the streetlight Edd was on before it shook violently and Edd shouted, "OH-OH-OH D-D-D-DEAR!"

Kevin saw the dog sadistically charge towards him before he stood his ground and Rolf shouted from behind as he wielded a big axe (**Out with the Old, In with the Ed**), "KEVIN BOY! UTILIZE YOUR ATHLETIC EQUIPMENT TO PROPELL THE GHASTLY CANINE IN ROLF'S DIRECTION!"

Kevin complied by putting his hand in his left pocket as he uttered silently, "Wait for it! Wait for it!"

The dog lunged at Kevin with its mouth open before…"FORE!" Kevin pulled out a golf club and whacked the canine back over to Rolf before he (Rolf) raised his axe up high and in slow motion, vertically cut the mutated dog in half as he brought it across!

"Rolf has always been a bull-respecting son of a gun on the other hand, yes?" Rolf stuck his chest out proudly.

Nazz and Eddy fought with the final dog. The former picked up a manhole cover and skillfully used it as a shield against the dog's sharp claw attacks after it suddenly stood up!

"WHO KNEW EVEN UGLY FREAK DOGS KNEW SOME HARDCORE TRICKS?" Nazz ducked and blocked two more claw attacks before she leg-swept the beast as she yelled, "HEEL!" and apparently knocked the beast out by striking it in the face!

She tiresomely dropped the manhole cover, which unfortunately awakened it and made it lunge at her before Eddy suddenly jumped in front of her and punched it down with his bare hand!

Eddy then looked at the javelin that the dog just flew by and as he ran towards it, the dog shook itself off and angrily lunged at Eddy! Just then, Eddy jumped up in the air, bounced off of the dog's back, and performed a front flip as he ripped the javelin out of the ground. The dog turned back around and charged at Eddy once more before he could even turn around.

"EDDY! DISPATCH! REMOVE YOURSELF!" Edd shouted from atop the streetlight.

But the only thing Eddy did when the dog lunged at him was twirl the javelin around like a blade before he suddenly turned around and pierced the dog through the chest; killing it instantly! Eddy then pushed the dog off of the javelin using only the palm of his hand.

"All right!" Eddy angrily jammed the javelin into the ground. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?"

"What were those things?" Ed embraced a frightened Holly. "They didn't look like any dogs I've seen before in the real world!"

"Those canines looked as if they were genetically altered via the use of a muscle-enhancing drug!" Edd slid down the streetlight and walked towards his friends.

"CYNYEN!" Nate snapped his fingers. "Remember when the big guy took on Mckellan and his gang at our first football game of the year?"

Everyone looked down before Eddy uttered, "Oh, yeah! They were gray, big, and had yellow eyes! Just like the dogs!"

"Who cares what they are?" Kevin jumped in. "What I wanna know is who sent them?"

"I can answer that!" Jonny rolled into the cul-de-sac with his bike as the other kids gathered around him.

"Jonny, you know who's behind this?" Nazz raised her eyebrow up.

"Yeah, and you're _really _gonna snap once I tell you!" Jonny replied.

"I snapped when those four-legged bitches came busting into my house!" Holly frowned. "Now, spill!"

"Yes, he-whose-head-could-eclipse-the-sun, Jonny boy!" Rolf put his axe away. "Do not keep Rolf's fury in suspense!"

"It was…the Kankers!" Jonny gulped before everyone gasped and developed facial expressions of anger and spite.

"Shoulda guessed!" Kevin spat. "And knowin' 'em, it's probably part of a sick tactic to get Ed, Edd, and Eddy!"

"Yeah, about that!" Jonny stepped off of his motorcycle and walked towards Edd with a saddened facial expression. He touched Edd's shoulder and stated, "Double D…they took Maggie!"

All of the kids gasped once more and looked at one another while a saddened Edd fell to his knees and looked down at the ground. He uttered, "No. No! NO!" Edd punched the ground and to everyone's shock, created a small crack in the ground! His friends rushed over to him to comfort him. Nazz and Holly got on their knees with the former putting his head on her neck and the latter grabbing his hands as he sobbed.

"And they must've sent the dogs after us so we wouldn't get in the way again!" Nazz frowned. "Those three have _really_ crossed the line this time!"

"They crossed the line the moment they moved here!" Eddy shouted. "First me, then Ed, and now they're attacking the most sensitive of us? I'm gonna see to it that they get it big this time!"

"Right behind ya, bro!" Kevin followed Eddy off-screen. Ed, Nate, Rolf, and Jonny followed.

"Hold it, guys!" Holly shouted. "We're as pissed as you are, but you don't even know where they are!"

"Yeah!" Nazz added. "So, don't waste your time going to the trailer park! That's the last place they'd take her if they wanted to torture her!"

"So, where are they gonna be, then?" Nate asked.

"Knowing them, the _very_ last place we'd think to look!" Ed replied.

"Maggie's house?" Kevin guessed.

"No. I saw Marie with a wheelbarrow at Maggie's house!" Jonny justified.

Eddy looked down and used his deductive reasoning skills to try and figure this enigma out. He then developed bug-eyes and snapped his fingers as he yelled, "I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE! FOLLOW ME!"

"WAIT!" Kevin grabbed Eddy's shoulder. "If we run into more of those drugged-up weilers, we gotta be better prepared!"

"Whadoya got in mind, Kevo?" Eddy turned around before Kevin grinned.

* * *

Meanwhile in Edd's basement, Marie had just now splashed water into the sleeping Maggie's face to wake her up. Maggie saw the grinning Kankers standing over her as she sat in Edd's transporter dome with her legs and hands respectively taped together!

"Rise in shine, Trampy Van Violet!" Marie sneered.

"You bee-yotches just can't seem to learn your lesson, can you?" Maggie snarled.

"No, _you _and your bombshell prostitution ring can't learn _your _lesson 'bout personal distance!" Marie cracked her knuckles. "So, I'm gonna have to teach you a real lesson! And because you're the smart bimbo, I think you'll catch on pretty fast! Lee?"

Lee wickedly walked over to Edd's computer as Marie uttered, "Anything else smart you wanna say, boyfriend-stealer?"

"Good luck turning that on!" Maggie grinned. "It's only gonna work if Double D presses his transporter watch's button or voice activates it!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that!" Marie retorted with a sneer. "Just like Ed can copy people's handwriting, May here can copy anyone's voice!" Maggie gasped as Marie continued, "Maybe you're not as smart as everyone thinks! At least I hope so! Oh and by the way, you might need this!" Marie tossed a pocketknife next to Maggie. "May?"

May walked up to the transporter dome and uttered in Edd's voice, "ACTIVATE TRANSPORTATION SEQUENCE…NOW!"

"WARNING! USE OF THE TRANSPORTATION DOME COULD PERMANENTLY CAUSE-"

"JUST DO IT!" May yelled in Edd's voice before the dome closed and Maggie threatened Marie, "I SWEAR TO GOD, KANKER! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR-"

Maggie was caught off when she was suddenly transported out of the dome! May then asked in her normal voice, "How come you gave her that pocketknife? If that were O'Connor, I'd make sure she was a free meal to the dinosaurs!"

"I'm a lover and a fighter, not a killer!" Marie replied. "Besides, she won't get far once the T-rex smells her ass!"

Marie took out a baseball bat and SMASHED Edd's computer; stranding Maggie in the digital dinosaur world!

"And all we gotta do now is make sure nobody gets in to get her out without a bargaining chip!" Lee smirked.

"I love being a series antagonist!" Marie pulled out three bottles of vodka before each of her sisters took one and starting drinking triumphantly!

* * *

In the digital dinosaur world, Maggie had just now appeared next to a large tree before Marie's pocketknife appeared on the side of her.

"Great! Just great!" Maggie grabbed the pocketknife with her teeth and began cutting her hands loose. She then used her own hand to cut her feet loose before she stood up. As she brushed herself off, she heard a rumbling noise from a distance.

She turned around and much to her bug-eyed horror, saw a herd of stampeding and fearful _Triceratopses_!

"SHIT!" Maggie ran away from the stampede at EEnE-speed, but was still barely able to stay ahead! She jumped off-screen to the right as the _Triceratopses _passed the camera!

* * *

Meanwhile, the Eds, Nazz, Holly, Nate, Jonny, Rolf, and Kevin were in the latter's backyard gathered around a crate with a skull on it. Kevin ripped the lid off with a crowbar and revealed what was inside: six Remington 870 assault rifles!

"Before my dad got a job at the jawbreaker factory years back, he used to work at an old gun shop!" Kevin took two out and tossed them to Eddy and Nate. "Every Christmas or salary bonus came with one rifle and one handgun!" Kevin took out two more and tossed them to Ed and Rolf. "Sucks I don't have enough of the former!" Kevin took the last two out and threw one of them to Jonny while he held onto the other one.

"And how are we supposed to defend ourselves?" Holly and Nazz frowned.

"With these!" Kevin pulled out a smaller box containing Desert Eagles, Beretta 94s, and 9-millimeter glocks! "Take _one_!"

Nazz grabbed a Desert Eagle while Holly grabbed a Beretta and Edd grabbed both a glock and a Berretta! Before Kevin could speak, Edd uttered, "With all due respect, Kevin, this is a personal mission for me and I require all of the offensive defense I can garner!"

Kevin hesitated for a moment, but realized how passionate he was about ending this dark hour and being reunited with the one he loves. With that, he smiled and put the box away.

"Let's kick some Kanker/weiler ass!" Eddy cocked his rifle.

**

* * *

****Did you know: "Mrs. Fahlenbock" is named after "Megan Fahlenbock": my ideal voice actress for Maggie. "Johnson Fashions" is named after "Ashley Johnson": my ideal voice actress for Holly. Also, I figured that since Maggie has purple hair, an EEnE universe gag was opportune when making her Mom and Dad's** **respective hairs blue and red! I also did some research on dinosaurs just for this episode, which is part of the reason why I disappeared for a little bit.**

**

* * *

****Next half, watch as your heroes go head to head against the **_**true **_**plot devices of this episode!**


	18. The things I do for Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's note: **Sorry I haven't been here for so long, fans! But there's more to life than being a visionary-writer! Also, I have some bad news. I will not be making a Gourd prequel after all due to some comparisons I discovered between my friend and former colleague, Easymac120 and myself. Even though he has inspired me to make this series, I am NOT trying to make this series like his. So instead, I will reveal how Jonny became everyone's friend again via a later episode and will continue making the Edolescence episodes while also doing some brief special extras! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The screen opened up in Edd's backyard, where May was seen sitting on top of Edd's picnic table as she munched on a sandwich and watched over a dozen cynyen-pumped rottweilers! Half of them were asleep while the other half were wide awake and acted as guard dogs as they stood in front of a hole in the ground that led to Edd's basement.

"That's it, boys!" May swallowed. "Stay on the clock for your mommies!"

From inside a blue van that Nate was driving, Edd looked through his heat-seeking binoculars (**Ed n' seek, Breaking up is hard to Ed**) and saw May and her sisters' dogs respectively settled in his backyard and near the hole with the battle-ready Eddy, Ed, Nazz, Holly, Rolf, Jonny, and shotgun rider Kevin waiting for a comply.

"What's up?" Holly asked.

"As anticipated, the Kankers have denied possible entry into my residence via backyard as well as front!" Edd replied. "But that will not keep us at bay for long!"

"What's the plan, Sockhead?" Eddy asked eagerly. "Even though I feel kinda weird askin' ya that!"

"Kevin, Rolf, Jonny!" Edd started. "I need you three to remain outside and repel the Kankers' drug-enhanced canines while Ed, Eddy, Nazz, Holly, Nate, and I enter my home via the crater that they have created! Once there, we shall see the true nature of the Kankers' callous intentions and subdue them…_again_!"

"Now, yer speakin' my language!" Eddy smirked.

"Hold on!" Nazz raised her finger. "When we're done here, aren't we gonna have to explain the gunshots and the drugged-up dogs barking if someone, like, comes outside?"

"No one came outside when the mole mutants attacked, no one'll come outside when they hear us working!" Ed raised his eyebrow.

"Enough talk!" Kevin yelled anxiously. "Let's do this shit!"

All nine teenagers emerged from the van before Kevin shot his rifle in the air and triggered the attention of May and her dogs…including the sleeping ones!

"WHAT THE?" May stood up on the table and looked at the cul-de-sac kids as they prepared their respective weapons for a possible brawl. "SIC' 'EM, BOYS!"

The cynyen rottweilers growled and barked as they jumped over the fence and towards the kids as Jonny yelled, "HERE THEY COME, GUYS!" and Eddy yelled, "FIRE!" before they all started shooting at the dogs! Watching the whole thing from over the fence, May took out her walky-talky and yelled, "DOUBLE D AND HIS FRIENDS ARE HERE! DOUBLE D AND HIS FRIENDS ARE HERE!"

* * *

In Edd's basement, Lee and Marie were arm wrestling until they heard May repeat her report. Marie grabbed the walky and yelled, "THEN SEND THE DOGS, IDIOT!"

"_I DID!" _May shouted. _"BUT THEY ALL HAVE GUNS AND THEY TOOK OUT AT LEAST THREE OF THEM! HEY! WATCH WHERE YER SHOOTIN', BENNETT!"_

"THAT WEIRD KID!" Marie angrily slammed the walky on the table. "HE SOME HOW GOT AWAY FROM CROWBAR AND TOLD THOSE LOSERS WHAT I DID TO DOUBLE D'S SLUT! DAMMITT!"

"Cursin' ain't gonna make sure that Hood stays put!" Lee stood up and put on some brass knuckles off-screen. "So, get ready for another neighborhood brawl!"

Marie took out a car bumper and walked in front of Edd's transporter dome as Lee followed.

"Remember, the odds are in our favor!" Lee reminded Marie. "Even if they _could _get past us, there's no way they'll be able to get to her before she's dino-chow!"

"And for a bit, that'll be super-satisfyin' to me!" Marie smiled wickedly.

* * *

Meanwhile in the "digi-dino-world", Maggie was up in a tree and out of breath. As she put her hand on her chest, she panted, "That was _too_ close! Looks like when the Kankers fucked up Double D's computer system, the different periods somehow merged! And now every time I turn my back, there's always some carnivorous dinosaur after me! God I hope they're coming for me soon! Otherwise, I'm finished for sure!"

* * *

On the nocturnal streets of Peach Creek, Kevin, Rolf, and Jonny were fighting off the cynyen dogs while Edd and the others hopped the fence.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Kevin kicked over a blue mailbox and took cover behind it before he cocked his Remington and blew a cynyen dog to kingdom come when it lunged at him!

Rolf and Jonny stood back to back as they fired nonstop at the remaining, oncoming dogs as the camera slowly revolved around them for dramatic effect!

"THIS REMINDS ROLF OF THE GREAT WOLF PURGE AT-"

"NOT THE TIME, ROLF!" Jonny shouted.

* * *

In Edd's backyard, Ed, Edd, Eddy, and Nate unsuccessfully shot at two cynyen dogs as Nazz and Holly fought May! Nazz swung her left at May, but she caught her fist and smiled arrogantly. Off-screen, Holly grabbed Edd's picnic table and smashed it on top of May before she threw them both off-screen!

"It's too easy, now!" Holly shook her head from left to right.

Just then, a dog viciously lunged itself Ed before he used his Remington as a bat and smacked it over to Edd, who blew the dog apart with both guns without remorse! Nazz and Holly looked at him surprised.

"It's like this whole thing has taken over who he is!" Holly uttered. "A nice, sweet, almost-normal boy!"

"And he'll never be that way again unless he sees Maggie again!" Nazz added.

Simultaneously, Nate punched the last dog towards Eddy, who kicked it skywards thereafter. The boys jumped next to each other and held their respective Remingtons up high as the dog descended towards them!

"Target acquired!" Nate cocked his rifle.

"On three! ONE!" Eddy cocked his rifle as well.

"TWO!"

"THREE!" Both boys shot their respective rifles at the falling canine and blew it apart!

"That's all of them!" Ed pointed out the obvious.

"Yes. Now we must confront our antagonistic mastermind: Marie Kanker!" Edd spitefully added with his eyes and heart filled with rage.

"Then don't'chu dare count us out!" Kevin smiled off-screen before the camera shifted to him and his triumphant group.

Edd and the others smiled before the screen shifted to the giant hole in the former's basement. All nine teens emerged from it with their weapons ready!

"All right, Kankers!" Jonny yelled. "Don't make us use-"

Jonny was cut off when Marie suddenly rushed up to him and punched him in the face and against the wall before he dropped his Remington! She then started swinging her car bumper around as Lee punched Kevin in the stomach with her brass knuckles and kicked Rolf in the groin before he fell to his knees! Holly and Nazz were knocked against the wall with Marie's bumper, but they held onto their guns!

Edd was looking around his basement and saw that the only thing that was destroyed was his digi-dino-world's computer system and that his transporter dome was open! This led him to whisper to himself in disbelief, _"NO!" _and rush over to his transporter dome! Marie saw this and angrily threw her car bumper at him as she yelled, "GOIN' SOMEWHERE, PUMPKIN?"

Edd looked back and saw the car bumper fly towards him, but chose not to stop to duck! Just then, Eddy jumped on-screen and like a police officer, ducked and rolled before he blew the car bumper to smithereens! He and Ed ran up to Edd, who explained, "They've sent Maggie into my digital dinosaur world and stranded her there by annihilating the control system! I can have us all enter via my transporter watch, but if we do not do so immediately, Maggie will be finished!"

Ed and Eddy looked at each other casually and thought about the worst that could happen to Maggie based on what they've just heard. They looked back at Edd before Eddy uttered, "Question: You don't got a T-rex in that program of yers, do ya?"

Edd developed bug-eyes and pulled his hat further towards his eyes as a response to Eddy's question.

"Oh shit!" Eddy slapped his forehead as Ed cocked his rifle. "GUYS!"

"We heard every word, Eddy!" Nazz yelled as Lee held her against the wall by pressing her forearm against her (Nazz's) neck and holding her (Nazz's) left wrist. "Don't worry!"

"Poor choice of words, Barbie!" Lee mocked Nazz.

"BARBIE?" Nazz used her free hand to pull Lee's hair before she (Lee) screamed as she let go of Nazz! She (Nazz) then grabbed the back of Lee's shirt before she threw her headfirst into the wall! "Wait up, guys!" she followed the Eds into the transporter dome.

"YEAH!" Holly jumped over Marie as she swung her car bumper at her. Holly then saw a downed Nate as she rushed towards the transporter dome. "C'mon, Nate!" she helped him up and they both rushed for the dome as Lee and Marie lunged at them EEnE-style; only to be subdued by the recovered Rolf, Jonny, and Kevin!

"GO!" Kevin yelled. "GET MAGGIE! NOW!"

"AND BRING ROLF THE HEAD OF THE MIGHTIEST CREATURE YOU CAN FIND, YES?" Rolf joked.

"BE CAREFUL, YOU GUYS!" Jonny yelled before Lee kicked him off of her! Lee and Marie got free and got up, but were then tackled right back down by Kevin and Rolf respectively.

"Let's get movin', Double D!" Nate cocked his Remington.

Edd took out his transporter watch from last chapter and put it on before he pressed the top of it and all six teens were zapped out of there!

"GET…OFF!" Lee and Marie respectively punched Kevin and Rolf into a corner!

"Time someone taught you a lesson about puttin' ya hands on a lady, jocky-boy!" Lee cracked her neck.

"Same goes for you, Kazek!" Marie cracked her knuckles before Jonny threw Plank at the back of her head and caught him!

Jonny stared Marie down before both Kankers lunged at him and tackled him to the ground!

* * *

Inside the digi dino world, the six rescue heroes had just now been zapped on-screen and were already in a battle-stance.

"Ooh! Now, I know how those guys at Roswell felt!" Nate held his head.

"Dude, you didn't tell us the place was _this _big!" Nazz looked at Edd.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to find Maggie when we don't even know where to start?" Holly asked.

"Rest assured, there is a reason why I transported us to this particular spot!" Edd walked over to a large bush and moved it out of the way to reveal a roofless camouflage-colored army-jeep-like vehicle built for eight!

"COOL!" Ed shouted.

"Make haste! Inside!" Edd demanded.

* * *

Elsewhere, Maggie was walking through the jungle as she looked up at the sky and saw a digital version of the sun setting slowly.

"Almost sundown." Maggie muttered. "And all the predators are going to have a good-ass time tracking me! I better find a place to—AGH!"

Maggie gasped as she walked into a large strip of land and saw that it was filled with _parasaurolophuses_, that were feeding on bushes and shrubs! She excitedly ran over to one and uttered, "Oh…my…god! _Parasaurolophuses_! My favorite dinosaurs of all time! I wonder." Maggie stepped out of her sneakers and got on top of a dinosaur horseback-style. Before she could do anything else, she heard a roar in the distance that made many of the dinosaurs run away.

She looked in the direction that she heard the roar and saw an entire oncoming horde of famished…

"_GORGOSAURUSES!_" the bug-eyed Maggie shouted. Which alerted the other dinosaurs and caused them to run away in terror; including the one Maggie was on! "SLOW DOWN!" Maggie held onto "her" dinosaur for dear life as the _Gorgosauruses _continued to give chase! The camera then zoomed in on Maggie's sneakers as the last three dinosaurs ran passed them.

* * *

In the interim, the rescue team was seen driving down the road to begin their search for Maggie. Edd was driving, Eddy was riding shotgun, Nazz and Holly rode in the seat after them while Ed and Nate sat behind the girls.

"So, how we supposed to find yer girlfriend again, sockhead?" Eddy cocked his Remington. "We don't got any goddamn clues!"

"That's not what I'd be worried about, Eddy!" Ed uttered. "At any moment, giant, blood-thirsty lizards could pop out of nowhere and bite into us like a jelly donut or somethin'!"

"Sweetie, you really need to stay away from those horror movies!" Holly looked back at Ed.

"This whole shitty situation is like a horror movie!" Nate jumped in. "Course nothing scares me now ever since I saw that ugly-ass bird thing last month!"

"Don't remind me!" Eddy frowned. "Especially when I might end up dealin' with a…_pterodactyl_! Ugh!"

Edd continued to focus on the "road" ahead until he reached the field that the _parasaurolophuses _abandoned about an hour ago. He halted the vehicle violently as he looked at something in the distance.

"Hey, ya mind warnin' somebody when yer about to-" the bug-eyed Eddy ceased talking when he saw what was in front of him and slowly got out of the car. It wasn't the same thing Edd was looking at, but it seemed to have grabbed the attention of the equally-bug-eyed Ed, Nazz, Holly, and Nate! The camera slowly zoomed in on Eddy, Nazz, Ed, Holly, and Nate before it shifted to the things they were looking at: _Brachiosauruses _and _stegosauruses_! The former were walking over to some trees and eating their leaves while the latter were trudging past the screen!

"Its like Jurassic Park 4!" Ed smiled. "And I'm not just saying that because neither one is real!"

Holly and Nazz ran over to a couple of _stegosauruses_ and began petting them gently.

"Double D sure knows how to make them authentic!" Nazz rubbed its jaw.

Ed, Eddy, and Nate ran over to the _Brachiosauruses _and began observing them.

"I'm so gonna show this to the guys at school!" Nate walked underneath a _Brachiosaurus_ as he took out his cell phone and began recording the dinosaurs' every movement. Eddy climbed up a tree to get a closer look at the _Brachiosauruses_. He looked one in the face and it snorted on him!

"AGH!" Eddy wiped his face. "Stupid lizard! Ed, quit playin' with its tail before ya get whacked!"

Ed lifted a _Brachiosaurus' _tail up and down like a dumbbell as he shouted, "Ah, what's the worse that could—OOH!" and the dinosaur's tail hammered him into the ground!

Edd, having not a single interest in his digitized creations at the moment, walked over to three _stegosauruses_, which smelled something off-screen.

"Mind if I have a look, gentlemen?" Edd waved his hands "shoo" style before the _stegosauruses_ trudged away and allowed Edd to see with his bug-eyes what they (the _stegosauruses_) were smelling: Maggie's sneakers! "_Inconceivable_!" he grabbed Maggie's sneakers by their shoelaces and yelled, "LADIES! GENTLEMEN! I HAVE AQUIRED A CLUE THAT WILL LEAD US TO-".

Edd was suddenly cut off when two _stegosauruses _ran past him frightened. Soon, the two dinosaurs that Nazz and Holly were petting ran away in fear as well as the rest of the _stegosauruses_! Prompting that, the _Brachiosauruses_ started stampeding away in fear as Nate and Ed ducked and dodged out of the way to avoid getting stomped on.

"What's going on?" Ed scratched his head in confusion.

"Somethin's got 'em spooked!" Eddy jumped down from the tree and picked up his Remington.

"Somethin' big! And probably pretty freakin' ferocious!" Nate cocked his Remington.

Ed looked in the opposite direction of where the dinosaurs were running and uttered as he developed bug-eyes and pointed, "NOT BIG! BUT FEROCIOUS!"

Just then, Eddy, Nate, Nazz, and Holly looked in the direction Ed was and saw three flocks worth of skinny, yet fast dinosaurs headed right for them and the other dinosaurs! The camera swiftly zoomed in on the horrified Edd before he shouted, "COMPSOGNATHUSES! FLESH CONSUMERS!"

"OH SH-" Nate cocked his gun once more and as a _Compsognathus _lunged at him, he blew it to smithereens.

"TO THE JEEP! NOW!" Edd demanded as he took out his Glock and Beretta and began shooting at the _Compsognathuses _as they went for both him and his friends.

Nazz and Holly started doing backflips and front flips as they shot at and killed all of the _Compsognathuses _that came at them with their handguns as they headed for the jungle jeep on Edd's demand. Ed used one hand to hold onto his Remington and shoot as he used the other to grab all lunging dinosaurs by their long necks and slam them down! Eddy shot at five dinosaurs that came rushing at him as he ran towards Edd's jeep. Eventually, all six teens made it back into the jeep and drove away, but were still being pursued by the _Compsognathuses_!

"FUCK OFF!" Eddy, Ed, and Nate turned around, shot at, and killed as many dinosaurs as they could. Nazz and Holly stood up in the jeep and did the same with their respective handguns. But those proved to be less effective than the boys' Remingtons!

"Eckhart had to give the rifles to his boys! No offense!" Holly swiftly reloaded her Beretta.

"None taken!" Eddy cocked his rifle and shot at the dinosaurs again.

"I hope Maggie's alright!" Nazz reloaded her Desert Eagle.

* * *

No further than several miles away, about six _Gorgosauruses_ were feasting on the corpse of a _parasaurolophus_! They slowly, but viciously tore its skin off of its bone with their blood-colored teeth as Maggie watched in horror from atop a tree. Just then, right behind her, a _pterodactyl_ flew towards her as it cawed!

"AAAGGGHHH!" Maggie jumped up in the air and did a back flip to dodge the prehistoric bird's mouth before she landed on its back and wrapped her arms around its neck! The bird tried to shake her off by rolling around three times as it descended and speeding up as it flew upwards, but Maggie remained in place! "Guess what, Tweety? I'm driving now!"

Maggie did something off-screen with her arms and suddenly was able to control the _pterodactyl_'s aerial movements via the use of two long strings sewn into the wing portions of its body! As she glided slowly through the sky, "Nate would be _so_ jealous!" she smirked as she thought about Nate's love for flying. She then "steered" the _pterodactyl_ to the right military-jet-style and flew it off-screen as it passed the still-descending sun.

* * *

Meanwhile, the kids in the jungle-jeep were still outrunning and killing the _Compsognathuses _until…

"THEY'RE FALLING BACK!" Ed cheered. "WE DID IT!"

The teens stood up in the jeep and cheered triumphantly, but suddenly fell back down as the "road" started to get bumpy!

"D-D-D-D-DOUBLE D! T-T-TAKE IT EASY, DUDE!" Holly tried to maneuver herself into a stable position, but to no avail!

"I-I-I-I'M TRYING, HOLLY!" Edd started swerving the jeep from left to right before the whole thing in general started spinning out of control!

"CAN YA TRY HARD—WHOA! OH! OH! OH, SHIT!" Eddy looked ahead and saw a relatively large tree root in their path before the jeep rammed into it and flipped into the air!

"I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE!" the bug-eyed Nate fell out of the jeep before Ed, Holly, Edd, Eddy, and Nazz did the same as they all shouted, "OH GOD!" and fell to the ground along with the jeep before the screen cut to black.

The screen reopened sometime later at "night", where Nate had just woken up Edd as he (Edd) laid on his stomach.

"You alright?" Nate asked Edd, who shook his head and looked to his right to see Ed pick up the jungle jeep and put it back on its wheels as Holly stood behind him.

"Where's Eddy? And Nazz?" Edd asked as Nate pointed behind him.

Behind Edd, the smiling, yet unconscious Nazz was lying on top of the equally-unconscious Eddy, who was lying on his back with only a smirk on his face!

"Oh…my god!" Holly snickered as the grinning Ed and Nate walked up to the two!

Suddenly, both teens groaned as they woke up and looked at each other before they saw how close they were to each other's faces!

"WHOA!" Eddy and Nazz jumped backwards in surprise.

"At least let me buy ya dinner first!" Eddy nervously joked as he brushed himself clean of dirt.

Edd did the same before he looked at his friends and uttered, "I have a new idea! Ed!" as he held up Maggie's sneakers. Ed walked up to Edd as Nazz and Holly looked at each other curiously.

Seconds later, the group were seen once again on the road. This time though, Ed was riding shotgun as he smelled the air in an attempt to catch Maggie's scent. Eddy sat on the hood of the jeep as he held up a tree branch laced with burning leaves at the tip as a way of lighting the group's path up ahead. Nate kept his Remington near his lap as he listened to linkin Park on his ipod to cool his nerves after the prior traumatic experience.

"But really though? Is he a dog?" Holly pouted about Edd's sudden idea.

"For the final time, Holly, yes and no!" Edd rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Time was and still is very much a factor! So, I needed to amalgamate my memory and my conception skills regardless of the dignity-extracting consequences!"

"Besides, Ed's used to usin' his nose instead of his brain for a job like this!" Eddy added.

"Is that some kind of guy thing?" Nazz folded her arms.

"No, it's an Ed thing!" Eddy joked. "So, neither you ladies or the Linkin Park fanatic would understand! No offense, Nate!"

"None taken!" Nate smiled.

Ed closed his eyes and took one big whiff before he opened them back up in a flash; almost as if he's detected something!

* * *

Only a half mile ahead of the group was a 27-foot-tall plateau. On top of it was Maggie, who was sitting on her knees next to "her" sleeping _pterodactyl _as she kept her eyes closed and held her hands in a praying position. Just then, she opened her eyes in a bug-eyed manner after she heard a faint, but familiar voice shout, _"Maggie!" _

Maggie suddenly stood up with a "No way" facial expression and walked towards the edge of the plateau.

"_Maggie!" _The same male voice uttered a distance away from the plateau.

This time though, Maggie was able to tearfully see who was calling out to her: Edd and his rescue team!

"HEY!" Maggie waved her hands in the air.

"THERE SHE IS, GUYS!" Ed pointed to the tip of the plateau.

"I SEE 'ER! I SEE 'ER!" Eddy shouted before he and Edd looked at each other with a smile. The former being especially happy at the fact that his best friend was going to be reunited with his one true love.

But unbeknownst to the team, just another few feet away, a really large, silhouetted figure with gleaming red eyes was hiding in the large trees as it glared at the team!

Though still a little further way from each other, Edd and Maggie looked at each other with a loving smile as a blend of dramatic/romantic music played.

Just then, in slow-motion, the silhouetted figure emerged from the large trees and stomped its heavy foot right in front of the jungle jeep! And because the force of the stomp was so great, the shockwave flung the jeep several feet backwards and made it flip before it landed wheels-first! The kids remained in the jeep thanks to their seatbelts and Eddy remained standing on the hood thanks to his great stamina.

All seven teens looked in bug-eyed horror when they saw what the figure was: a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_! The _T-Rex_ ferociously roared at the six teens!

"IT'S A FUCKING T-REX!" Ed pointed.

Edd fearfully shifted the jeep in reverse and floored it before the _T-rex_ gave chase and started catching up without any effort whatsoever!

"WE CAN'T OUTRUN IT, DOUBLE D!" the bug-eyed Nazz shouted.

"CARE TO SHARE ANY SUPERIOR IDEAS?" Edd shouted back.

"I GOT THREE: SHOOT, SHOOT, AND SHOOT!" Eddy picked up his Remington and shot at the _T-rex_ before Nate, Ed, Nazz, and Holly joined in with their own weapons as Edd continued to drive the jeep backwards! Much to their dismay, their weapons proved to be ineffective against the _T-rex_'s muscular structure!

* * *

Angered, Maggie ran over to her sleeping _pterodactyl_ and jumped on its back before it awakened and squawked as the former tugged on "its reigns".

"Let's go kick some T-rex ass, Eva! YAH!" Maggie pulled her _pterodactyl_'s (Eva's) reigns before she (Eva) jumped off of the plateau and at the last moment, sprouted her wings to fly after the _T-rex_ and the rescue team.

* * *

As the gang continuously and unsuccessfully shot at the _T-rex _while their vehicle continued to drive backwards, Nate spotted a large tree that they were about to run into!

"DOUBLE D! WE 'BOUT TO HIT A TREE!" Nate shouted before Edd took notice via his rearview mirror and floored the vehicle to a stop!

"NOW, WHAT?" Holly reloaded her pistol as the T-rex roared, "RRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" and opened its mouth on the six, seemingly helpless teenagers!

However, to their surprise, they spot Eva and Maggie diving towards the T-rex unbeknownst to the beast itself!

"READY TO BREAK YOUR NAILS, GIRL?" Maggie told Eva. "YAHHH!" Maggie violently tugged on Eva's reigns before she (Eva) squawked and pointed her sharp talons at the _T-rex_'s back!

"RAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" the _T-rex_ roared in pain as it stood back up! The attack caused the beast to raise its giant left foot in the air as a reflex before it began to lower it towards the kids' jeep!

"LOOK OUT!" all six teens jumped out of the jeep before the _T-rex _stomped on and destroyed the jungle jeep; shattering the glass windows!

With Maggie still at the helm, Eva flew over the _T-rex_'s head just as it tried to bite her (Eva)! It tried again, but as before, it missed!

"KEEP SHOOTIN'!" Eddy yelled. "BUT DON'T HIT MAGGIE! OR THE BIRD…INTENTIONALLY!"

Nate cocked his Remington and shot at the _T-rex _as the others did the same despite being unsuccessful in landing a clean, effective shot. Eva flew pass the beast's back and created a bloody, horizontal scratch across it! The _T-rex _roared in pain yet again as Eva maneuvered herself through the "night sky" and dived towards the beast once more.

"OKAY, SWEETIE! LET'S HIT HIM WHERE IT HURTS! YAH!" Maggie pulled Eva's reigns her hardest before the latter prepared to strike the beast in its heart with her talons! But to their surprise, the _T-rex _spun around once and whacked Eva and the screaming Maggie away with its huge tail before they flew out-of-sight into the woods!

"MAGGIE!" Edd ran into the woods after her. Holly tried to stop him, but Eddy grabbed her shoulder and said, "Let him go! We gotta handle asshole-a-saurus here!"

Just then, Eddy jumped up in the air and as he flipped over the _T-rex_'s head, he pointed his Remington at its face before he shot it in between the eyes and it roared in pain! As Eddy slid down and off of its tail, the _T-rex_ stomped on the already-destroyed jeep once more before a tire flew off of the vehicle and knocked Nate out!

"NATE!" Nazz yelled concerned.

"All right! That's it!" Ed angrily grabbed Nate's dropped-Remington and shot the beast in the back as he yelled, "EY! EYES ON ME!" and it turned its attention to him.

"ED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Holly shouted. Ignoring her, Ed ran away from the _T-rex_ and as it tried to eat him in one direction, he ran in the other. Next, Ed ran up the tree EEnE-style before the _T-rex _unintentionally banged its head against it and Ed performed a backflip as he jumped off of it (the tree).

In slow-motion, Ed shot the _T-rex _in its backbone area with both Remingtons before it let out one more roar and fell back first onto the ground. Nazz helped Nate up as Eddy and Holly looked at Ed impressed.

"Taking out the backbone to create paralysis?" Nazz swung her hip. "Pretty smart, dude!"

"Yeah! I half-expected ya to give into the old "if you don't move, they can't see ya" idea!" Eddy grabbed his shoulder.

* * *

In the woods, Maggie petted Eva's head as she (Maggie) carefully removed the "reigns" from Eva's wings to set her free. She squawked triumphantly before she looked at Maggie and trilled. Eva then flew away as Maggie smiled and waved.

Just then, she heard a rustling noise behind her before she swiftly turned around and saw that Edd was standing behind her. As dramatic music played and the camera shifted back and forth from the former to the latter once, both emotionally ran towards each other and embraced in a loving hug that ended with Edd spinning her around in his arms. As they smiled at each other…

"_Maggie." _Edd let out a small tear.

"_Double D." _Maggie touched his right cheek.

In slow-motion, the two teens passionately kissed for about five seconds until...

"Get a tree, Tarzan and Jane!" Eddy yelled off-screen before the camera shifted to Ed, Eddy, Nate, and the emotional Holly and Nazz.

"Oh!" Edd blushed as Maggie giggled. "Well, um…shall we return to our far-safer reality to check on Kevin, Rolf, and Jonny?"

The five teens walked up to Edd and Maggie and as the group huddled together, Nate asked, "Wonder how those guys are doin' anyway?"

* * *

In the real world, May had just now thrown Jonny into a badly beaten and bruised Kevin and Rolf, who were in the corner.

"If Rolf lacked honor, he would squash you into submission, hormonally-male Kanker-girls!" Rolf spat.

"Dude, you've been pitchin' that shit talk for the last fifteen minutes!" Kevin reminded Rolf. "Give it a rest!"

"How 'bout we put _you _to rest?" Lee cracked her knuckles. "After all, jocks need their sleep!"

Just then, the Edd and the gang appeared into the opened dome after a bright flash with enraged looks on their respective faces. The Kankers turned around and looked at the Eds amorously.

"Welcome back, honey!" Marie winked at Edd. "How was yer trip?"

Marie suddenly became disgruntled and vengeful when she saw that Edd and Maggie were now holding hands!

"I'll give ya till three to let go of that hand…muffin!" Marie threatened as she and her sisters got into a battle-stance. "One! Two!"

Suddenly, Jonny stood back up and snapped his spine back into place EEnE-style before he uttered another bird call.

"THREE!" the Kanker sisters stomped towards the group before they heard a cawing noise.

Just then, four flocks worth of ravens flew into the basement via the Kanker-made tunnel and flew towards the bug-eyed Kanker sisters! Marie flinched while Lee and May stepped back before they (Lee and May) were carried off and pinned against a wall!

"What are birds doin' underground, anyway?" May shouted.

Marie looked at her sisters in shock before Maggie suddenly came up behind her (Marie) and put her in a headlock!

"All right, bitch!" Maggie spat. "Time for me to keep my word!"

Marie responded only by jumping up in the air and landing on her back before she bounced off of her (Maggie) and landed on her (Marie's) feet while Maggie stayed down in pain! Marie walked towards Edd with a smirk as the latter motioned for his friends to step off of the dome to avoid trouble.

"Want my advice, Hood?" Marie taunted Maggie. "Stay in your league!"

Just then, the off-screen Maggie threw a dirt-rock at the back of Marie's head before the latter angrily turned around. Maggie threw another rock at Marie, but she caught it and crushed it with her bare hand!

"Big mistake!" Marie walked towards Maggie as she (Marie) took out a golf club and Maggie slowly stood back up.

"That's father's golf club!" Edd shouted in the background.

Ignoring Edd, Marie knocked Maggie against the same wall as her (Marie's) sisters were forced against before she (Maggie) could land a punch on Marie. As Marie walked up to the down Maggie…

"Sorry, hoe! But I don't sit well with love triangles!" Marie raised "her" golf club up, but before she could strike Maggie…

"NEITHER…" Maggie kicked Marie in the shin before the latter fell on that knee! "DO…" Maggie kicked Marie in the chin before both girls stood back up! "I!" Maggie slapped Marie and grabbed the golf club, but Marie maintained her grip.

"That all you got?" Marie slammed Maggie against the wall with the golf club.

"You want to play tomboy? FINE!" Maggie spat in Marie's left eye, struck her in the gut with her (Marie's) own end of the golf club, and threw both the golf club and Marie in the air before the latter hit the ceiling and landed flat on her face!

"MARIE!" Lee and May yelled before a raven stuck its feathers in both of their mouths!

"Had enough?" Maggie shouted.

An enraged Marie lunged at Maggie and tackled her against the wall before both girls bounced off of it and landed near Edd's control desk to continue their fight as the other kids (save for Edd, who just smiled) cheered Maggie on.

"Give it up!" Marie banged Maggie's head against the control desk! Maggie spun halfway around and pushed Marie to the side. She then ran up to her and swung at her, but Marie ducked, punched Maggie in the stomach, and grabbed her ankle before she flipped her!

Maggie sprung herself back up in time to receive a punch in the jaw by Marie, but responded by punching her even harder in the right jaw. The girls exchanged punches three more times before Marie caught Maggie's fist and grabbed her throat!

"FOR THE LAST TIME, LEARN YOUR PLACE!" Marie savagely choke-slammed Maggie into unconsciousness before everyone went silent.

An externally-worried, but internally-angered Edd ran up behind Marie and turned her around before he yelled, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TRAGEDY YOU'VE CAUSED IN MY LIFE? YOU'VE HUMILIATED ME! YOU'VE KIDNAPPED ME! AND YOU'VE ABUSED MY FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS AND VIOLATED US FOR YOUR OWN AMOURAL SATISFACTION! AND NOW YOU'VE ACHIEVED THE LOWEST GOAL IN A ROUGHNECK'S REPUTATION BY PHYSICALLY OFFENDING THE ONE WOMAN I LOVE INTO UNCONSCIOUS SUBMISSION! I…I…" Edd struggled to keep himself from saying the one word that he had never said in his entire life. But to no avail, he uttered coldly and darkly…"HATE YOU!"

A speechless and heartbroken Marie developed a small tear before she went into a fit of rage and punched Edd in the face and onto the floor! Ed tried to run to his aid, but Eddy stopped him as he pointed to Maggie.

Unbeknowst to Marie, Maggie had just now awakened. She rubbed her forehead before she angrily looked at Marie with her teeth clinched! Right then, Maggie ripped a huge floor tile out of the ground and slowly stood back up!

"Looks like even cute, smart guys need to be taught a hands-on lesson, too!" Marie cracked her knuckles.

"And stubborn tomboyish females like yourself need to sleep over your thoughts and actions!" Edd smirked as he looked at Maggie.

Marie looked at Edd confused as Maggie drew her giant floor tile back! Marie developed bug-eyes and right when she (Marie) turned around, Maggie struck her in the face with her floor tile, which sent her flying headfirst into another wall! Marie then fell backfirst onto the floor and into unconsciousness!

Everyone continued to be silent until they cheered wildly at Maggie's surprise victory! Edd stood back up to face Maggie as the latter dropped her floor tile and hugged Edd, who hugged her back as the girls uttered, "AWWWWWWWWW!"

"Two down, one to go, huh Nazz?" Kevin touched Nazz's shoulder.

Nazz responded only by nodding and looking at Eddy with a smile before he looked back at her with a smile as well. The two then focused their attention on Edd and Maggie; the former of which tugged on his hat.

"Wait!" Maggie grabbed Edd's wrist and turned her attention to their friends.

"I am in far too great a positive emotional state to conceal it from them any longer." Edd smiled. "Our friends risked their lives to assist me in my mission to be reunited with you. Allowing them to witness the core of this act…is the very least I could do. And aside from that, the fans have grown tired of feasting on suspense!"

Edd grabbed his ski-hat as dramatic, revealing music played in the background and he slowly removed it. When it was completely off, everyone (except for Ed, Eddy, and Maggie) developed bug-eyes and dropped-jaws of surprise. The camera slowly shifted to Edd's head before it moved up and revealed the big secret that he had shamefully concealed since childhood.

The top of Edd's head consisted of his football-sized brain covered with his veiny scalp and only partially, his hair! His friends' facial expressions shifted to pride and admiration for Edd, who slowly put his hat back on and wrapped his arms around Maggie's waist.

"Some secret ya got there, Edd!" Maggie put her hands on Edd's chest. "Least now everyone can stop pestering Antonucci and you at the premieres!"

The two kissed one more time before Eddy jumped in and said, "All right! That's enough sappy crap for one 27-minute episode!"

"Yeah!" Ed sniffled before he blew his nose into a big napkin.

Edd rolled his eyes at his friends and looked at Maggie before she replied, "Y'know! They're right! I'm in the mood for some…violence…and terror! But this time, I want to see it from a safe distance!"

Maggie deviously looked at Lee and May before the screen slowly transitioned into the digi dino world, where all three Kanker sisters were seen holding onto some tree branches as _Gorgosauruses _growled and snarled at them from the bottom!

"Make 'em go away, Marie!" May shouted.

"Why me?" Marie shouted.

"Cuz you got us into this mess!" Lee yelled.

"I thought we agreed that everything's May's fault?" Marie shouted back.

From a large tree, the cul-de-sac kids were sitting on different tree branches as they looked and laughed at the Kankers' predicament. Eddy sat with Kevin, Ed, and Nate on one branch, Holly, Nazz, Rolf, and Jonny sat on an alternate branch, and Edd and Maggie sat on the top branch as they held hands and the latter rested her head on Edd's shoulder.

"I did promise you a prehistoric-themed performance, did I not?" Edd smirked smugly.

"Well, there's no full-on Jurassic Park dinosaur violence, but its one helluva comedy!" Maggie giggled.

"Ooh! She almost got 'er toe bit off!" Ed smiled.

"Toe? Take the whole freakin' leg!" Eddy cheered the _Gorgosauruses_ on before the screen formed a circle around the cul-de-sac kids' tree and zoomed in on Edd and Maggie before everything went black.

**End of episode 9**

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****Phoenix's note: Like all EEnE fans, I have always wondered what exactly was under Edd's hat. The only clue that I remembered that could elude to a possible answer was when Ed asked Edd "Does it hurt?" in the BPS. Given Ed's personality at the time and that particular clue, it led me to suspect that something was specifically, yet understandably unnatural about Edd's cranial flesh. Also, I am a fan of the Jurassic Park movies, but this episode's plot was NOT inspired by it in any way. Before I even saw the movies or got on fanfiction, I've always had this idea about the Eds and the kids going up against nature's extinct creations!**

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****Well, it's about that time, fans! Next episode is the thrilling season finale that'll keep you on the edge of your seat! And I hope you liked the EdxHolly and EddxMaggie pairings! Cuz next episode marks the solidification of the series' primary, yet unofficial power couple: EddyxNazz! Later! **

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**Title reference: The things I do for love**


	19. Third time's the Ed pt 1

**Phoenix's Note: **Here it is, folks and fans! Drum roll, please...THE SEASON FINALE OF EDOLESCENCE! Even though I might not be able to top some episodes action/adventure-wise, you can count on this baby going out with a bang! Also, let's not forget the completion of the main character/love interest triangle's subplot! And, because it is the finale, this episode will be a little longer than most previous ones! Anyway, HERE'S EPISODE 10!

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**EPISODE 10: THIRD TIMES THE ED**

* * *

The screen opened up at the junkyard, where the sun had almost completely risen. Standing in the middle of the area were many roughneck boys, who looked as if they were guarding something as they each harbored very serious facial expressions. Among these boys was Kyle Campbell (**An Ed with Destiny**), who was leaning against a beat-up car as he smoked a cigar and grinned malevolently. Standing on top of a mountain of junk were Marie and May, who supervised the boys.

All the way in the back of the yard, the mouth-taped Kevin and Nate were tied back-to-back as they sat in some chairs and were surrounded by gray barrels of Crankshaft #5 (**Know it all Ed**) that looked as if they were rigged to blow up! And holding the trigger was none other than the mastermind of it all…Lee Kanker!

"So, tell me boys! Why hasn't my date shown up yet?" Lee smiled deviously as Kevin and Nate glared at her. "I set this whole thing up just for the two of us! Oh, well! We'll give him another five minutes before we decide to just go out…with a bang!"

* * *

Back up front, Marie and May squinted as they looked at an oncoming vehicle, which was none other than…Eddy's Chevy camaro!

"He's here!" Marie spoke into a walky before Eddy's camaro swerved into the junkyard. After seven seconds of suspenseful silence, Ed emerged from the camaro's driver's seat and waved!

"Hey, that's not-"

"YEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW!" Eddy suddenly fell from the silhouetted, airborne cruiser in the sky and beamed headfirst towards Marie and May, who screamed, "AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!" and jumped off of the pile!

Eddy performed a front flip and landed feet-first on the junk pile before he slid down on a fake mattress (**One of those Eds**) like a surfer and jumped in the middle of the surrounding roughneck boys, who all looked at him!

"IT'S GATES!" Kyle shouted.

"GET 'IM!" Marie ordered the boys, who complied!

Kyle picked up a bike pedal and ran towards Eddy, but before the former could strike the latter, Eddy head-slapped him on the right ear, smacked the pedal out of his hand, punched him in the ribcage, and knocked him out after he punched him in the face! Eddy then got into a battle-stance as the other boys ran towards him with pieces of junk as weaponry!

One boy swung at Eddy with a bent crowbar while another came at him with a dented helmet! Eddy back-bended when the first boy swung his crowbar at him before he ended up knocking the second boy out just as Eddy stood back up, punched him in the stomach, knocked the crowbar out of his hand, performed an uppercut, and grabbed the back of the boy's shirt and hair before he (Eddy) threw him at an oncoming boy with a tire rim in his hand!

Another boy attempted to knock Eddy out from behind using a sink pipe, but Eddy saw this, grabbed his wrist and elbowed him in the rib just as another boy came running up on him with a broken glass bottle in an attempt to stab him (Eddy)! Eddy saw this and pushed the boy behind him at the glass bottle boy before he (Eddy) pinned them both against a mountain of junk and began beating them until they dropped their respective "weapons"!

Eddy then turned the glass bottle boy around, punched him in the stomach, karate-chopped him in the atoms-apple, and knocked him onto the ground! Next, the sink-pipe boy turned around and managed to get a punch in on Eddy's chest, but had his other two punches blocked before he was kicked against the mountain of junk and punched in both his jaws and his ribcage! Dazed, the boy tried to deliver a haymaker, but Eddy caught his arm and flipped him over his shoulder! Finishing his attacks, Eddy picked up the sink-pipe and knocked the kid out!

"Too easy!" the smirking Eddy dropped the pipe before seven more boys ran towards him! Still smiling, Eddy shouted, "Oh, Ed?"

The laughing Ed clapped both of his hands together and created a powerful shockwave that caused a mountain of junk to collapse on all of the boys before they could reach Eddy!

"Yeah, that was lame!" Eddy looked down at the junk-pile. "But oh, well! Let's go, Ed!"

"Go where?" the angered May and Marie jumped in front of Eddy and Ed just before they could advance towards Lee in the back! The girls angrily lunged themselves at the two Eds before the screen shifted to Lee, who now held a stopwatch in her hand!

"Three…two…one!" Lee crushed the stopwatch in her hand! "Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! I don't like bein' stood up! Oh, well! Accidents, and this, happens!"

Lee started to push the button on her trigger just as Kevin and Nate began sweating nervously! But before she _could_ put her thumb on the trigger...a hand grabbed her wrist from behind and proceeded to twist her arm behind her back! Another hand took the trigger from her before the person jumped in front of her: Eddy! In the background, we could see Ed holding the struggling May and Marie under his arms; having obviously bested them.

As Lee stood up and angrily faced Eddy, the latter scoffed, "This was yer stupidest attempt yet, Kanker! When're you gonna get it through yer thick-as-hell skull? I don't like you! Ed don't like you! And Double D _hates _you! Speakin' of the sockhead!" everyone looked up and saw Edd riding on the wire-part of a descending metallic pincher that grabbed the heads of Kevin and Nate's chairs before all three boys ascended back up into the source of it all: the cruiser; which was operated by Cody.

"And now for the punishment! Ed?" Eddy stepped aside before Ed threw May and Marie at Lee and all three sisters crashed into some of their own barrels of Crankshaft and were covered in quite a lot of it! "Nice shot, lummox! Now, let's _blow_ this whore-zone!"

As Ed and Eddy walked away, the latter pressed Lee's trigger before the crankshaft barrels detonated mushroom-style while the Kankers were still near them! As the two triumphant Eds walked towards the screen, the cruiser flew overhead as it (the screen) faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in Nazz's kitchen, where the bored-to-tears blonde bombshell herself was seen looking through last year's yearbook. She kept turning random pages until she reached one that showed her on top of the blushing Eddy following a dogpile on the basketball court. She looked at the picture with a warm smile before Holly walked up behind her. Holly was wearing a light blue sports bra, dark blue jogging pants, and her hair in a bun.

"Can't stop thinking about him for a millisecond, can you?" Holly smiled as she folded her arms.

Nazz responded only by turning around and smiling sadly as she closed her yearbook.

"Well, don't you worry about a thing, sweetie!" Holly touched Nazz's shoulder. "If I know one thing, it's that he's trying! We _all_ have faith in both him…and in you!" Nazz smiled happily as Holly continued, "Now, let's get started!"

Seconds later, we could see Nazz (now wearing a purple sports bra, black jogging pants, and her hair in a ponytail) punching and kicking a punching bag via the use of her seemingly upgraded martial arts skills as Holly held it (the punching bag) into place.

"So, like, where's Maggie?" Nazz continued to karate-chop and kick the bag.

"With her sweetheart!" Holly replied. "Drawing up designs for their remodeling of that crappy old house!"

"The one on Pit Street?" Nazz asked.

"Yeah!" Holly responded.

Holly then developed bug-eyes; noticing that Nazz was starting to pick up speed and strength as she continued to skillfully punch and kick the bag. Eventually, she punched a hole through the bag before stuffing began to pour out!

"Whoa!" Holly folded her arms impressed. "Your cutie-pie better watch himself!"

"Who do you think gave me tips in the first place?" Nazz rubbed her knuckles together. "Sweet tea?"

"Totally!" Holly winked.

Just then, the doorbell rang six times before Nazz rolled her eyes, "Ugh! There's only one person I know that rings my doorbell six freakin' times!"

The screen cut to the outside of Nazz's front door before Nazz herself opened the door and frowned with annoyance. The person that was at the door was Alex (**Breaking up is hard to Ed**). In his left hand were some roses; while in the other one was a bottle of champagne!

"For the last time, Alex, I'm totally not going out with you!" Nazz folded her arms.

"If I didn't take no for an answer the last seven times, what makes you think I'm gonna do it now?" Alex smirked.

"You, like, helped the Kankers by kidnapping Double D and some of the other boys just so they would do your homework!" Nazz continued to frown. "I still haven't forgiven you for that!"

"Oh, c'mon!" Alex justified. "Their plan backfired anyway!"

"_So_ not the point!" Nazz developed an aggravated tone. "Now, go away before I-"

"Before you what?" Alex angrily threw the roses off-screen. "Call Gates so he can try and kick my ass? Y'know, I'm gettin' really tired of you payin' more attention to him! He doesn't even try to talk to you! He's not who you think he is! He's a loser! And yer one too for likin' him!"

"Whatever!" a fed-up, but calm Nazz ignored Alex's jealous rant and slammed her door shut. Angered, Alex threw the champagne bottle onto the ground before it shattered into little pieces! He clinched his teeth, "All right, Gates! You wanna play "Good guy, Bad guy" to see who gets the girl? Fine with me!"

In Nazz's kitchen, Nazz grabbed two bottles of sweet tea and tossed one to Holly, who spoke as she popped her lid open, "What's up with that guy? Why's he such a…prick?"

"Short Answer?" Nazz gulped down half of her sweet tea. "He's _seriously_ gone off the deep end ever since he befriended those three trash-bags at the trailer park!"

"He'll learn!" Holly rolled her eyes. "Now, you want to look at the new in-season lingerie magazines again or do you want to go see how the guys are with the house?"

"Hmm…" Nazz looked up.

* * *

Meanwhile, Eddy, Kevin, Ed, and Nate sat comfortably in lawn chairs while being on the lawn of the old abandoned house (**Honor thy Ed**), which was now freshly cut and dandelion-free as well as lacking the "For Sale" sign! Next to Eddy's chair was a push-style detonation device that basked in the guise of a jackhammer.

"Aw c'mon, Eddy!" Ed sulked. "When do we get to see the place go boom?"

"I told'ga, Lumpy!" Eddy continued to relax. "When the rest of the audience gets here! By that, I mean, when Sockhead and his Grape Vine, get here with the new designs!"

"What about Cody with the lumber?" Kevin smirked with his eyes closed.

"He ain't slow! Not like his cousin!" Eddy joked.

"Wait, did'gu just call Maggie "Grape Vine"?" Nate sat up and looked over at Eddy.

"His idea! Don't ask!" Eddy replied.

As they panted, Edd and Maggie ran on-screen as they held hands and the latter held two rolled-up pieces of papers in her free one.

"Took ya long enough!" Kevin and the other boys stood up and stretched.

"Pardon the extended wait, gentlemen, put my parents have-"

"No more suspense! Blow house up now!" Ed excitedly moved around.

"Chill out, Ed!" Eddy picked up the detonator. "All right, boys! And Maggie! Operation: Wipeout is about to commence! Three! Two! Wha…"

"Hey, Guys!" Nazz and Holly walked on-screen while wearing their regular respective attire before Eddy could push the detonator's trigger down.

"Hey, Nazz! Holly, What's up?" Kevin and Nate greeted at once.

"Just in time to witness the proverbial conclusive curtain of this forsaken residence of atrocious proportions!" Edd smiled excitedly.

"Ugh! Interruptions and no explosions bad for Ed!" Ed angrily reached for Eddy's detonator!

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Eddy kicked Ed off-screen. "Keep yer hands to yerself or yer woman's ass! Douche-bag! Now without further ado: Three! Two! One! KABLAM!" Eddy pushed the trigger down and under everyone's watchful eyes, the old abandoned house exploded tremendously mushroom-style before green, stinky smoke started to form in its place!

"WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!" the boys (save for Edd, who just smiled) cheered and hooted as wood fell from the sky!

"Ugh! Eddy, is that your stink-bomb formula?" Holly and the other girls held their respective noses.

"Wait! Wait!" Eddy ignored Holly's question and pointed to the green smoke, which started to form into a dollar sign: Eddy's signature insignia! "That answer yer question?" he and the other boys laughed heartily; even Edd (though his was more controlled)!

"It was cool of yer dad to let us have this little bit of land since he couldn't sell the house, bro!" Kevin touched Eddy's shoulder. "But I didn't think he'd let us blow fuckin' the place up!"

"Like we'd wanna hang out at a place with "Skanker" scent all over!" Eddy joked.

"Especially if it gave ya nightmares about bein' molested!" Nate joked before everyone laughed hysterically.

"What's up, dudes! Dudettes!" Cody drove on-screen in his cruiser and had a wheelbarrow with tons and tons of wood that went all the way up to the sky in tow! Everyone turned around and faced Cody before he smiled, "Let's get this buildin' shit over with!"

Everyone excitedly ran up to Cody's cruiser as they talked all at once.

* * *

In the kitchen of the Kankers' trailer, the sisters themselves were sitting around the family table with grave facial expressions; especially Lee, despite her eyes not being visible. Just then, Alex, Brandon, and Travis (the latter two also last appeared in **Breaking up is hard to Ed**) walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table as they shook the Kankers' hands.

"Ugh, what smells like cheap shampoo?" Brandon held his nose.

"Don't ask, don't tell!" May rolled her eyes.

"All right, boys! Let's make this short and sweet!" Marie started. "Me and May fucked up big time in a chance to get our dogs on our leashes! And now, they're out humping other dogs and about to influence another one!" she looked at Lee.

"And we supposed to wipe yer ass and feel sorry for you?" Travis folded his arms.

"Shut up, Travis! Lee?" Alex motioned for Lee to start talking.

"Look, yer leader here's got his eyes on the ass of Peach Creek Estates' blonde bitchshell, but she ain't got no taste in him!" Lee started. "And I got my horniness set on a certain spiky-haired heartthrob who thinks pushin' me away is a smart idea!"

"But the part that pisses both me and her off the most: they're totally into each other!" Alex added. "And every thing we've been tryin' to do about it blew up in our faces and we're sick of it!"

"Story goes that Van Bartonschmeer had it bad since she was still pickin' 'er nose!" Lee continued. "So, breakin' her is gonna be rough! But it's gonna happen!"

"In case ya didn't know, the girl knows martial arts!" Brandon reminded Lee. "_And_ she works out!"

"Maybe so! But there's a reason why they pick slutty blonde girls for horror movies!" Lee cracked her knuckles with an evil smile. "They're _all_…dumb!"

"So, what're you gonna do? Distract her with homemade perfume and uppercut her?" Travis mocked.

"You makin' fun of me, Blake?" Lee stood up angrily, but Marie and May grabbed each grabbed a wrist and pulled her back down.

"I don't think yer pointin' fingers in the right direction!" Alex started. "In all this, there is only one dickface that's been a pain in the ass for the longest: Eddy Gates! You know better than anyone, Lee, that Gates likes to think he's a badass because he knows things and people like 'im! Nazz is just a factor compared to him! Gates ain't one to be handled calmly! The guy can kick even the toughest senior asses and win at mindgames against even the nerdiest losers! And you know it!"

"So, what're tryin' to say?" Marie looked at Alex.

"Easy! Outsmart Gates!" Alex replied before May and Marie started laughing heartily and Lee frowned, "You make it sound easy, but it's another bottle of Kanker rubber cement when ya actually get out there!"

"Not based on what I know!" Alex sneered.

"Which is?" May wiped a tear off of her face.

"Before the Big picture show or whatever, you said that Gates was a rock that couldn't be moved! He was selfish, cocky, and almost defenseless!" Alex continued. "But now, he's spineless cuz he hates seein' his pals in fucked-up situations!"

"And now, as long as he's around, he'll do somethin' about it!" Lee smiled deviously; formulating a plan.

"You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" Alex smirked back.

"Oh, yeah!" Lee replied wickedly. "I love screwin' around with people!"

* * *

The screen slowly transitioned to the front of Edd and Maggie's house design before it moved off-screen and showed the real thing, which was in the vein of the White House and the Taj Mahal! More specifically, its features were the resemblance of the south façade of the White House (but was a little smaller) and it had a dome for a roof that resembled the dome of the Taj Mahal (but was far smaller). The house was colored white, but had black vertical stripes all around the dome.

The cul-de-sac kids just stood on the lawn as they marveled at the result of all their combined hard work.

"Awesome!" Nazz put her hands together.

"Exactly how we envisioned it!" Edd put his head on Maggie's head as she rested it on his shoulder.

"What now, Eddy?" Ed wrapped his arms around Holly's waist as he stood behind her and she touched his hands.

"_Now_, we get some furniture!" Eddy rubbed his hands together. "Anyone got any crap that their parents'll say they'll get rid of, but don't?"

Everyone raised their respective hands before Eddy replied, "All right! Let's grab 'em and come back here!"

The kids all scattered off-screen as they headed for home to retrieve their respective discarded furniture. Moments later, a large truck with a small trailer attached drove on-screen and stopped in front of the house. Just then, the trailer's retractable door opened before four figures that were wearing camouflage-based costumes hopped out and ran onto the front lawn!

"Nice place! Sucks we gotta foreclose on it!" Marie (wearing camouflage like everyone else) took out a black glass bottle with some liquid inside and sloshed it around a little.

* * *

No more than perhaps thirty minutes later, the kids were all seen walking down the street as they each carried some form of furniture. Ed was carrying two brown leather couches, Edd was carrying a long lamp, Eddy carried a white recliner chair, Nazz carried a small round table, Kevin carried a mini-fridge, Nate was carrying a small square table, Holly carried two chairs, Cody towed a large flatscreen HDTV in the cruiser's wheelbarrow as he drove slowly behind the group, and Maggie was carrying two chairs as well.

"Thanks for towin' the HDTV, Cody!" Nate thanked.

"No problem, dude!" Cody waved at Nate.

"Where did you get the money for an HDTV, anyway?" Maggie looked at Nate curious.

"Dad bought it for the guest room, but forgot it was bein' renovated!" Nate replied.

"Yo, Eddy!" Kevin suddenly said. "What're we gonna name the place?"

"What?" Eddy grinned.

"What're we gonna call it?" Kevin repeated. "A place like that needs a name in case we get questions and famous!"

"Well, I-"

"Oh, I know! I know! I know!" Ed looked at his friends bug-eyed. "Why not "The X-House"? Because it _exceeds _the coolness of any house, anywhere, anytime!"

"X-House, eh?" Eddy looked up as he thought for a moment. "Y'know, that's not bad!"

"Beats the hell outta what I was gonna call it, that's fer sure!" Kevin added.

Suddenly, Holly developed bug-eyes and dropped her chairs before she uttered, "Here's somethin' else we can call it: GONE!"

The kids (save for Cody) all dropped their respective pieces of furniture and looked at their clubhouse, which was now reduced to rubble! Anger filled the hearts and eyes of the kids before they ran onto the lawn to investigate! However, an equally-angered, but in-control Eddy and Edd jumped in front of their friends and yelled, "WAIT!"

"We're pissed, too, but'chu guys don't even know what to look for!" Eddy started.

"Eddy's right, people!" Edd added. "The best way for us to assimilate undeniable knowledge about the vandal is if it is consummated by professionals!"

"Okay, I've understood most of the things you've said as long as I've known you, but this is one you gotta translate!" Holly spoke.

"He said to let him and Eddy have a look at the damage!" Maggie folded her arms.

Eddy and Edd began to walk around as they searched for signs of the people who destroyed their clubhouse. They split up once they reached the middle of the wreckage. Edd began rummaging through a junk-pile while Eddy continued to walk as he looked down at more damage. He stopped when he saw the area where the support beam was.

"_What's this?" _Eddy bent down and saw that the support beam looked as if it had rotted down to the size of a wooden block by a strange purple liquid that appeared to be on top. Eddy smelled the liquid and emitted a tear of disgust before he coughed, "OH! OH! I know that shitty smell anywhere!" he then took out a large ziplock bag and reached for the rotted block.

As he still rummaged and his friends (save for Eddy) grew impatient, Edd began to give up hope of locating a clue until he developed bug-eyes after he looked down to his right.

"EDDY! COME QUICK!" Edd stood up straight excitedly before Eddy zipped next to him, "What?"

Edd bent down and picked up the thing that he was staring at, "It's a note! Quite possibly left behind by our destructive visitors!" he read, " "IF YOU DUMB-…_ahem_…F-WORDS WANNA KNOW WHO TRASHED YER PLACE, COME ALONE TO THE DUPLEX ON SWEETBUDS DRIVE TO GET IN OUR FACES…IF YOU CAN!" Sweetbuds Drive?"

"That's in Flavorcrest Hills!" Eddy explained. "Pretty smart for 'em to head on over there seein' how no one pays attention to what's happenin' around 'em!"

"That is because they utilize financial corruption to evade lawsuits and questioning!" Edd added.

"HEY!" Kevin yelled off-screen before the two Eds turned around. "You guys done, yet?"

"Yeah! We wanna beat these bitches up before tomorrow!" Nate cracked his knuckles.

"You might end up beatin' up pussies, instead!" Eddy and Edd walked towards their friends. "Cuz whoever they were, they took off to Flavorcrest Hills! 'Ccordin' to this note!"

"They left a note telling us where they'll be?" Nazz swung her hip. "Doesn't that, like, mean they're trying to set up a trap or something?"

"Our assumptions exactly, Nazz!" Edd replied. "Which is exactly why Eddy and I will be using our superior deductive-reasoning dexterity to locate these perpetrators and retrieve them so that _you_ may inflict physical punishment onto them!"

"You guys'll stay here and keep an eye on the damage after you take yer stuff back home." Eddy ordered. "Dumbass culprits always come back to the scene of the crime!"

"Fine! But don't beat them up before ya bring them here, Eddy!" Ed pointed at Eddy.

"Come, Eddy!" Edd walked off-screen. "We will travel via my personal transportation!"

"Sounds good to me!" Eddy walked off-screen as everyone else picked up their respective furniture (and Edd and Eddy's) and did the same.

From inside of a shrub, Brandon, wearing camouflage, saw and heard the whole thing and took out a walky before he spoke, "Gates and Knight have taken the bait! They're on their way!"

"_Sweet!" _Travis said on the other end. _"I'll tell A & L!"_

Brandon went back into the bush before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened about an hour later and showed Edd and Eddy driving down a street in Flavorcrest Hills in the former's white Kia Forte. The surrounding houses were much larger and expensive-looking than the houses in Peach Creek Estates. Some of them even took on the appearance of a mansion.

"Heh, looks a lot different from the last time dad and I were here!" Eddy grinned. "You used to be able to see right through the window of the second floor!"

Edd ignored Eddy's comment before he saw a sign on the left side that read, " "Sweetbuds Dr."! Success!" he drove down the road on the left and eventually parked in a cul-de-sac that had a two-story house in front. The place looked as if no one set foot in it for years, yet the lights were on in one of the rooms on the second floor.

"It's almost too easy!" Eddy got out of the car and shut the door. "Then again, guys like me have a habit of livin' with that!"

Edd closed his car's door and uttered, "Activate cloak-and-emergency-repellent mode, now!"

As the boys walked towards the house, Edd's Forte suddenly went completely invisible! From outside of the room on the second floor, Eddy kicked the door opened before both boys entered. They quickly saw that although the room was a complete mess, no one was there.

"Darn it! It appears as though we've arrived much too late to apprehend our inflammatory roughneck!" Edd snapped his finger.

"Or did we?" Eddy touched his chin; suspicious of the surrounding mess. "I don't think this mess was made by accident! Think it was made to further the act!"

"Act?" Edd scratched his hat. "I thought our conclusion was that this was an ensnarement attempt! Why else would the perpetrator leave behind a written message that explicitly reveals the precise location of-"

"Maybe if we look around for some useful shit, we'll know!" Eddy began to walk around. "After all, not all vandals and fugitives in Peach Creek think!"

"True!" Edd began to walk around.

Edd walked over to the table and started moving random papers out of the way in search of a clue. Eddy walked around and looked at the wall before a faint, but noticeable odor filled his nose and made him flinch!

"You smell that?" Eddy held his nose.

"Should I desire to?" Edd joked.

"Ugh! Smells like cheap-ass shampoo!" Eddy waved his hand in front of him as he continued to search for clues.

Edd bent down and started picking up random papers before he uttered, "You know, Eddy, this residence looks as if it has been in a desolate state for ages! Perhaps it is possible that the majority of this scattered atrocity existed prior!"

"Then how do ya explain the smell of cheap sham—WHOA!" Eddy slipped and fell onto the floor before random papers started to fall onto him!

"Are you all right, Eddy?" Edd walked over to his friend.

Eddy responded only by angrily standing back up. As he brushed himself off, he looked down onto the floor and saw what he had slipped on: a nearly burnt-out cigar!

"Hello!" Eddy picked it up and asked Edd, "That look like it's been here for ages, Sockhead?"

"Perhaps not!" Edd agreed.

Eddy took a closer look at the cigar and saw the initials, "K.C." before he developed bug-eyes and uttered, "Think we're done here!"

"But Eddy, we haven't-"

"Trust me! We have! Now, let's get the-"

Eddy was suddenly cut off when the door slammed open and three Goth boys walked in with wicked smiles on their respective faces. Two of them were thin and Eddy and Edd's height while the third one was 5'9 and quite muscular! They cracked their knuckles before Edd sweated, "Perhaps they are-"

"No! Local accomplices!" Eddy folded his arms.

Suddenly, the two boys lunged at Edd and quickly tackled him to the floor! The tall one trudged menacingly towards Eddy as he (the tall kid) cracked his neck, but the latter was not at all intimidated! The kid swung his left at Eddy, but missed when he moved his head to the right. The kid tried again with his right, but missed again when Eddy moved his head to the left! He tried to deliver a haymaker, but Eddy blocked it, punched the kid in the gut, and delivered an uppercut! The kid then grinned at Eddy as if his attacks merely amused him!

On the floor, Edd tried to wrestle out of the smaller boys' grip, but was no match for their combined strength! He then looked up and saw a silver pistol-like device in front of him with the label, "Property of Eddward Knight" on it!

"What good fortune!" Edd tried to grab his apparent device, but the strength of the Goth boys took a toll on his chances!

Just then, the tall kid tried to double-punch Eddy with his brute strength, but Eddy used both of his arms to block the attack before he kicked him in the rib, karate-chopped him in the neck, and knee-kicked his face upwards!

"Hah!" the unscathed kid gloated when he caught Eddy's fist after he tried to deliver a sucker-punch! He then caught Eddy's other fist before he (the tall kid) head-butted him and made him briefly babble incoherently! The kid then grabbed Eddy by the shirt and threw him across the room before he hit the wall and fell face-first onto the floor!

Meanwhile, Edd was still trying to wiggle out of his situation as the Goth boys sat on him until he sighed, "Oh, how I abhor violence!" Edd then reached for a Goth boy's neck before he squeezed his (the kid's) nerve and made him scream and writhe in pain before both boys got off of him (Edd)! Using this as an advantage, Edd quickly crawled over to his "pistol" and grabbed it before the Goth boys angrily glared at him and trudged towards him!

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A-"

The first kid failed to finish his sentence when Edd shot him with his pistol, which suddenly caused the kid to be painfully shocked before he fell unconscious! The other kid stared at Edd surprised before he (Edd) stood up, "The Stagger-inducing pistol is exceptionally more effective than my own physical potential, wouldn't you say?"

The kid lunged at Edd as he stuck his fist out, but the tranquil hat-wearing genius simply pointed his pistol at the boy and shot him down and into unconsciousness! He then turned around and saw that the tall kid was about to throw Eddy by the back of his shirt! Edd pointed his pistol at him, but the kid flung his boot off of his foot and knocked him out before he could pull the trigger!

Just then, as the kid was about to throw Eddy, the latter grabbed the former's belt and performed a backflip before he (Eddy) swung the kid in the air and slammed him (the kid) onto the ground as he (Eddy) landed feet-first! The kid then looked up at Eddy; flabbergasted at the fact that although he was larger than Eddy, he could still be thrown by him!

The kid got back up and ran right passed Eddy and Edd before he busted through the wall and left a hole shaped like him in it!

"Double D! Wake up!" Eddy slapped the unconscious Edd twice. "Our only lead's gettin' away!"

After three more slaps, Eddy finally woke Edd up and yelled, "THAT BASTARD'S GETTIN' AWAY! WE GOTTA CATCH 'IM!" Eddy jumped through the wall to pursue the tall kid and created a hole shaped like him in the process!

"How cliché!" Edd slowly stepped through the tall kid's wall-hole.

* * *

In the dark woods, the tall kid was running at a decent pace, but Eddy relentlessly chased him and started to close the distance between them! He (Eddy) even hopped from several tree branches as he did backflips, front-flips, and swung like a kid on a monkey-bar!

"Where ya goin', pussy? I just wanna talk!" Eddy landed feet-first on the ground and continued to chase the kid!

Not too far behind, Edd panted, "Eddy…_wheeze_…wait for me!" as he ran after his far-faster friend. As he got closer to exiting the woods and entering another street of the neighborhood, the tall kid picked up and juggled three huge boulder-like rocks and turned around to face Eddy!

"EAT THIS!" The kid consecutively threw the boulders at Eddy, but proved to be a failed attempt on his (Eddy's) person! Eddy jumped up in the air and flipped his body diagonally like a ninja to dodge the first boulder and jumped up in the air to step on and jump off of the second one to perform a front-flip as he dodged the last one!

As the tall kid entered the street, Eddy landed feet-first on the ground and lunged himself at the still-running kid with his fist drawn back! But before he could deliver a blow to the back, the kid surprised him when he (the kid) swiftly knocked Eddy into a streetlight as he turned around! In the process, it caused the streetlight to bend slightly and expose the ground-support for it! Fed up, the kid charged towards Eddy like a rhinoceros!

Using his quick-thinking skills, Eddy looked at the damaged streetlight's ground-support and karate-kicked it before the whole streetlight fell towards the ground and shocked the tall kid, due to him being directly under the bulb! After getting shocked for about five seconds, the streetlight exploded mushroom-style and sent the tall kid flying back a couple of feet! As he landed, Eddy ran up to him!

"ALL RIGHT, ASSCLOWN!" Eddy angrily grabbed the kid's shirt. "I WANT ANSWERS! WHO THE FUCK'S THE WISE GUY WHO TRASHED MY CLUBHOUSE?"

"Like you don't already fuckin' know!" the tall kid laughed.

Eddy punched the kid in the right jaw before he snarled, "I'm the one cursin' right now!"

"Don't think I'm not wise to yer act, Gates!" the tall kid replied. "Yer smarter than what'cher doin' right now! If you knock me out, which'chu can't, you'll never know where they are!"

"WHERE?" Eddy tightened his grip.

The kid sighed before he uttered, "The Jawbreaker factory! I gotta say! They're goin' all out just to fuck with you and yer punk friends! Who might hafta do yer job once yer down and…out!"

Eddy looked at the kid confused just as Edd finally showed up on the street; sweating as he caught his breath. Suddenly, Edd double-took twice and saw a figure wearing all black standing on top of the roof as he pointed what appeared to be a missile launcher directly at Eddy!

"WATCH OUT, EDDY!" Edd screamed too late as the figure shot a missile at the back-turned Eddy!

As Eddy turned around to face Edd, the tall kid jumped down a manhole before Eddy looked back to see the cover fall into place! In slow-motion, Eddy turned around as the missile grew closer and closer and Edd began to run towards his friend! In normal motion, Edd lunged at Eddy, grabbed the back of his shirt, and threw both himself and Eddy onto the ground stomach-first as the missile just barely missed the top of the boys' heads and made a two-story house disappear in an orange explosion!

The figure cursed to himself before he leaped into the backyard of the house he was standing on.

As the two Eds stood back up and covered their respective noses, Eddy uttered, "Thanks for the save! Really!" before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in the cul-de-sac, where Kevin, Nazz, Nate, Cody, Holly, Ed, and Maggie were seen standing in as they waited for the return of their friends. Kevin looked at his phone, which read "7:04 p.m."

"It's a wonder my mom didn't bust into my room or called to yell at me yet!" Kevin folded his arms.

"Wonder what's takin' them so—wait!" Cody looked at Kevin. "Yer mom lives with you? I didn't know that!"

"Me neither! Ya never talk about 'er!" Nate scratched his head.

"What's there to talk about? She's an accountant!" Kevin rolled his eyes.

"Dudes, focus!" Nazz interrupted. "It's been almost three hours and Double D and Eddy aren't back yet! I'm getting worried!"

"Relax, sweetie!" Maggie placed her hand on Nazz's shoulder. "Eddy's pretty tough and Double D is my little genius! Trust me! I'm sure they're fine!"

"Yeah, don't worry! We'll be kicking culprit ass before you know it!" Holly agreed.

"Look!" Ed pointed off-screen.

Just then, Edd's Kia Forte pulled into the cul-de-sac as the other kids stepped back. When the boys emerged from the car, the other kids ran up to them and began throwing questions at them all at once!

"SILENCE, PLEASE!" Edd waved his hands in the air and made everyone pipe down. "During our investigation, Eddy and I have unearthed several clues that will lead us to the true culprits! All we must do now is venture into the jawbreaker factory!"

"Kev, think yer dad's gonna let us in if we talk to 'im?" Eddy looked at Kevin.

"No chance, bro!" Kevin negatively shook his head. "Ever since he got promoted to building owner, he's been cuttin' down his hours and spendin' them with mom downtown!"

"No choice then, Double D!" Eddy faced Edd and nodded, "We gotta sneak in! And lucky for us both, I know a thing or to about bein' sleek and sly!"

"You both? Don't tell me you're going out alone again!" Nazz folded her arms.

"Sorry, sweetheart!" Eddy replied. "If it was somewhere else, maybe I'd take ya! Maybe!"

"Maybe nothing…sweetheart!" Nazz grabbed Eddy's shoulder. "It, like, took you almost three hours to get back here after finding out little things in Flavorcrest! You are _so _not going to be cool on your own in a factory!"

Eddy opened the door as he looked into Nazz's eyes, "And you are _so _gonna hafta deal with the fact that I might be out a little bit longer!"

Edd and Eddy went back into the Forte and u-turned into the cul-de-sac before they drove down the street. The camera slowly zoomed in on an angered Nazz before it transitioned to a street that the Forte was driving down a half hour later. The car stopped and parked into a parking space at the jawbreaker factory (**Run Ed, Run**), which was now heavily renovated into a modern-day-appearing castle.

"The jawbreaker factory!" Eddy got out of the car. "Been ages since I was here, too! Hope I don't get sidetracked!"

"Eddy!" Edd sternly closed his door.

"You know I'm kiddin! Let's scope this place out!" Eddy walked off-screen as Edd uttered, "Activate cloak-and-emergency-repellent mode, now!" and the Forte vanished once more.

Edd and Eddy walked up to the back doors of the factory before the former picked the lock and opened the door. They appeared to be in an office section of the factory. As they walked through,

"I highly doubt that this area is the idyllic asylum for our antagonistic delinquents, Eddy!"

"Course it ain't!" Eddy put his hands in his pocket. "They'd be twice the idiot Caird is to be in an office! They're in the actual factory!"

The boys walked out of the office and into the factory. The factory was surprisingly bigger than what Edd and Eddy remembered. It looked like a standard factory with its high-tech creation machinery, conveyor belts, giant cylinder vats, and extremely high metal staircases. But compared to an actual factory, these were all super-sized (which fitted considering jawbreakers were portrayed as large)!

"Oh, god, it's that smell again!" Eddy put his shirt on his nose as Edd pinched his own.

"ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH OF THE FOOLISHNESS!" Edd shouted nasally. "WE KNOW YOU ARE CURRENTLY RESIDING IN THIS VICINITY TO ESCAPE WELL-MERITED CONSEQUENCES, SO DO NOT BOTHER TO PARTAKE IN THIS TASK ANY LONGER! BECAUSE WE WILL NOT EXIT UNTIL YOU DO SO AND VOCALLY SIGN YOUR SURRENDER!"

But there was no response. Only complete and utter silence filled the air until Eddy joked, "Wonder if you'd talk like that if you were a cop! Or a rookie!"

Edd rolled his eyes before he looked to his left and stated with a worried facial expression, "E-E-Eddy! I think you need to feast your eyes on this!"

Eddy turned his head to the left and developed bug-eyes as both he and Edd looked at a giant note written with red-paint on a cylinder vat. The boys read, "HAVIN' FUN, GATES?"

"I recognize that handwriting anywhere!" Edd grew suspicious.

"Well, I recognize the handiwork anywhere!" Eddy frowned. "Guess I was right!"

"Pardon?" Edd looked at Eddy.

"I had a pretty good idea who fucked up our house and was right after all! What, you didn't notice all the shit I found awhile back? You were there!" Eddy faced Edd as he pulled out the cigar from earlier on. "You get a good look at the initials on this thing? There's only one guy in the whole freakin' district that smokes cigars with these initials...Kyle Campbell! And that cheap perfume smell...was Crankshaft! And this…" Eddy pulled out the ziplock bag with the X-house's support beam's remains inside, "…is _Eau_ _de_ _wood_ _rot_!"

"The Kanker sisters!" Edd scowled.

"Not just them, though!" Eddy put the bag back in his pocket. "This whole hang-up here looks like it's too big for them to be callin' all the shots this time! They had to get help! And who do we know who's _real_ good friends with the Kankers, calls me "Gates", and writes like that?"

Edd stroked his chin hairs before he developed bug-eyes, "ALEXANDER FROST!"

"_WOW! MAYBE IT WASN'T A GOOD IDEA TO SEND YA ON A WILD GOOSE CHASE!_" Alex's sarcastic and sinister voice echoed throughout the factory. But the two Eds found it hard to trace his actual location.

"_THIS IS A NEW LOW EVEN FOR YOU, FROST!_" Eddy clinched his teeth in anger.

"_DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT CROSSIN' THE LINE, GATES!" _Alex continued. _"THIS WHOLE THING, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IS HAPPENIN' CUZ YA SPAT IN MY FACE…AND LEE'S!" _

"_GET OUT HERE SO CAN DO IT AGAIN!" _Eddy snarled. _"YA MIGHT AS WELL! YOU'LL MAKE YER ASS-KICKIN' WORSE IF YA MAKE ME TRAIL YA!" _

"_GIVE IT UP, GATES!" _Alex taunted. _"THIS IS ONE FIGHT YOU AIN'T GONNA WIN! NOT WHILE WE GOT AN ACE IN THE HOLE!" _

"That doesn't sound comforting!" Edd took out his Stagger-inducing pistol.

Just then, hot water started to shower into one of the cylinder vats and quickly started to fill up! Next, a few of the lights in the factory clicked on over that particular vat and showed Alex on one of the stairwells as he grinned sinisterly!

"_TELL ME IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE!" _Alex continued grinning.

Edd shot his Stagger-inducing pistol at Alex, but the lights went back out and bounced off of the rails before the bullet could hit him! Suddenly, a crane-like machine appeared as it slid across a metal bar with a human-figure handcuffed to it. And the figure was none other than: Nazz! Not only was her hands cuffed, her mouth had a tissue wrapped around it and her ankles were tied up too! A speechless Edd and internally vexed Eddy watched in horror!

"_SHE FOLLOWED YOU, GATES!" _Alex continued. _"AND THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TAKIN' A SHORTCUT! GUESS WHAT THEY SAY 'BOUT BLONDES IS TRUE! ESPECIALLY WHEN THIS ONE IS AFTER THE ASS OF A WANNABE PIMP!"_

As Nazz struggled to get loose and yelled in a muffled tone, Eddy developed external anger, but kept his internal image in-control so as not to let his emotions stand in the way of what he knew he must do.

"Oh, dear!" Edd looked at Nazz worried.

"No! Oh…shit!" Eddy watched as the crane-like device slowed down as it approached the vat, which was now almost half-full!

**

* * *

****Phoenix's note: If you'll recall, "Flavorcrest Hills" was previously mentioned in episode 6 as being a rather expensive neighborhood. And the street, "Sweetbuds Dr." is named for the sweet taste of peaches ("Flavorcrest" being a type of peach as aforementioned in episode 6) and "taste buds", which allows you to taste them (among other things).**

**********

* * *

************Also, I'm sure it was pretty obvious to you guys who was behind this "hang-up" regardless of the clues. But the true question isn't "**_**Who **__**is**_** behind the hang-up?", but "**_**What **__**is**_** the hang-up?" Find out next half how it all unfolds! **


	20. Third time's the Ed pt 2

**Phoenix's Note: **The end of the first slice is here, everyone! If I can just weasel past some other things in my life, I'll try and update faster! Also, I've got some good news and bad news. The bad news is that things have reached a point in my life to where I need to relinquish some of my free time. Meaning, I have decided not to go through with having 4 seasons of Edolescence, but instead, 3. I'm sorry. The good news is that I still plan on doing an epic movie to end the series with! Now, that's a MUST! But enough of that! On with show and by far, the longest chapter in Edolescence history (so far)!

* * *

(**WARNING: This chapter possesses some strong sexual content. All younger fans make sure your door is locked!**)

* * *

The screen opened up in the jawbreaker factory, where an angered and horrified Eddy and Edd watched as Nazz dangled helplessly over the hot-water-filled cylinder vat, which was still having water poured into it! Unwilling to watch anymore, Eddy ran towards a set of stairs and ran up them as Edd shouted, "EDDY, STOP! WE NEED TO-"

"FIND A WAY TO SHUT OFF THE MACHINE! I'LL GET 'ER!" Eddy swiftly ran up the stairs before Edd, frustrated, ran up an alternate set of stairs to find the machine that activates the vats' function!

Eddy ran across the stairwell and the moment he could look directly over the rails, Edd reached the machine's activation wheel and began to turn it using what little natural strength he had! He turned it to the right, but the shower-head-like device only intensified water production as it emitted more steam!

"OH, DEAR!" Edd sweated!

"OTHER WAY, SOCKHEAD!" Eddy climbed on top of the rails' bars and dove off before he beamed headfirst towards Nazz and the vat!

"EDDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Edd frantically turned the wheel to the left and just as the showerhead ceased emitting water, Eddy grabbed onto the pincher and was now facing Nazz eye to eye! Eddy bit the tissue off of Nazz's mouth and uttered, "Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't listen!"

"Like, what makes you think _you're_ the only who can rebel?" Nazz retorted.

"Since it's in my character description…"

"EDDY!" Edd ran over to the staircase and looked down at the hanging Eddy and Nazz!

"I got 'er! Sorta!" Eddy looked up at Edd and looked back at Nazz.

Suddenly, a high-pitched beeping noise filled the air. Though it sounded like it was close to the kids, none saw it and only Edd heard it!

"Do you hear something?" Edd pointed his "pistol" upwards.

As the beeping grew louder, Nazz uttered, "Yeah! I hear it, too!"

"Me too!" Eddy turned his head another direction. He then turned it to underneath the stairway that Edd was standing on and saw a small, silhouetted object. He could not make out what it was because it was too dark, but then, he saw a small, flashing red light and developed bug-eyes! "DOUBLE D!"

But it was too late! The "object" exploded and not only emitted a giant cloud of dark blue and somewhat stinky smoke, but also destroyed the stairway that Edd was standing on before the young genius took off his hat and used it to grab onto the rail that Eddy and Nazz were on before he hung over the hot-water-filled vat for dear life! (Without his hat, you could see that Edd had long black hair that went slightly passed his neck)

Now on the same level and right behind Eddy and Nazz, Edd uttered, "OH, DEAR! OH, DEAR! OH, DEAR!"

"THINK HOW WE FEEL!" Nazz yelled.

"GUYS! SCREAMIN' AIN'T GONNA GET US OUTTA THIS! Eddy reprimanded. "WE GOTTA THINK!"

"HOW EFFICIENT CAN YOU BRAINSTORM WHEN YOU ARE UNDER THE PRESSURE OF POSSIBLY RELENTING YOUR GRIP AND FALLING INTO A VAT CONTAINING H2O AT A TEMPERATURE AS HIGH AS 2,000 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT?" Edd shrieked. Soon afterwards, the trio started to sweat unnaturally. Not due to fear, but due to the intense heat that derived from the vat!

Ignoring his friend's overwhelming fear, Eddy looked around for a way to circumvent this new, seemingly inevitable obstacle! Eddy looked up at the rail that was holding Nazz and his fellow Ed up for a few seconds before he (Edd) urged, "EDDY! HURRY UP!"

"I GOT AN IDEA!" Eddy looked back at Edd, "DOUBLE D, SHOOT THE RAIL!"

"WHAT?" Nazz and Edd looked at Eddy like he went off the deep end!

"SHOOT THE RAIL! BEHIND YOU!" Eddy repeated. "THE WHOLE THING'S GONNA SWING US OVER THE FLOOR AND GIVE US TIME TO LAND BEFORE IT SWINGS AGAIN! DO IT!"

"MY DEVICE'S PROJECTILES ARE FUTILE AGAINST METAL, EDDY!" Edd reminded. "THEY WERE ONLY ENGINEERED TO WORK ON HUMANS!"

"THE BULLETS IN THAT THING ARE MADA METAL! METAL CAN SCREW UP METAL!" Eddy justified. "BESIDES, YOU'LL BE AIMIN' CLOSE RANGE! WE GOT A WHOLE 'NOTHER CARD TO PLAY!"

"BUT WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK?" Nazz shouted apprehensively.

"IT'S GONNA WORK! TRUST ME! BOTH OF YOU!" Eddy looked at both of his friends before he focused solely on Edd. "NOW, DO IT!"

Reluctantly, Edd pointed his pistol extremely close to the rail right behind his head to consummate his friend's order. As he closed his eyes, "BLAM" he shot the rail and it suddenly broke off before the rail that all three kids were on, swung low and towards the vat!

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" Eddy, Nazz, and Edd looked as if they were finished, but in slow-motion…THE RAIL AND THE KIDS ONLY SLIGHTLY FLEW OVER THE VAT'S EDGE AND OVER THE FLOOR DOWN BELOW!

"NOW, DROP!" the teens fell from the rail and plummeted towards the ground far below! In the air, Eddy wrapped his arm around Nazz's waist and pulled out a pocketknife before he jammed it through another cylinder vat and slowly slid down as Nazz held onto him! Simultaneously, Edd used his hat as a hot air balloon to drastically soften his landing!

When all three teens finally touched floor, they panted uncontrollably!

"Thank you. Thank you for listening!" Nazz thanked Edd, who shrugged and cocked his pistol, "You are quite welcome, Nazz! But our mission has not yet been accomplished!"

As Edd ran towards the front doors of the factory, Eddy used the pocketknife to pick the locks of the cuffs on her wrists and ankles respectively.

"OH!" Nazz embraced Eddy in a hug of gratitude before she kissed him on the cheek! He got out of her grip and uttered, "We ain't done yet! C'mon!"

As Eddy and Nazz ran after Edd, the latter had just now busted the doors open as he pointed his pistol out! He watched as the grinning Alex and Lee prepared to drive away in Nazz's Nissan Altima! Just then, Lee tossed a basketball-sized sphere out of the window and at Edd's feet as they drove off. The sphere read, "SKUNKSHARK 110" and had a timer that was already at zero!

"EDDY!" Edd turned around and saw his friends running towards him before the "SKUNKSHARK 110" blew up and emitted a huge cloud of dark blue smoke with pressure so great that it sent Edd flying and crashing into both of them!

Just outside the front doors of the factory, the SKUNKSHARK smoke started to evaporate into the air and the night sky before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened in Eddy's room, where Edd had just now walked into as he put his shirt on. Eddy sat in his recliner chair while Nazz lied stomach-first on his bed as she swung her feet in the air.

"Now that I've sanitized my bodily being, we can continue to discuss our next act!" Edd leaned on the wall.

"We know for a fact that Frost and Lee are behind the whole thing!" Eddy started. "But we still don't know what the "whole thing" is!"

"What are you talking about?" Nazz looked at Eddy. "They destroyed the X-House just because I didn't want to go with Alex and you didn't want to go with Lee! That's it! Case closed!"

"Forgive me, Nazz, but I must disagree with that theory!" Edd began to pace back in forth. "Alex stated that he had sent both Eddy and myself on a wild goose chase earlier on! That implies that the so-called clues that we have unearthed as well as the ruffians we've encountered were merely…diversions!"

"Which means, somethin' else is goin' on around here!" Eddy deduced. "And fer some reason, I think it has somethin' to do with all that crappy perfume the Kankers got!"

"How do you figure?" Edd stroked his chin hairs.

"Think about it!" Eddy pounded his fist into his hand. "Wood rot is what leveled the X-house! Crankshaft almost hit me when we were in Flavorcrest! And that dark blue stuff that blew up in yer face and broke the stairway had a really sick smell to it! Ya can't tell me that that ain't more than a coincidence!"

Edd looked down and thought for a minute about what Eddy had just said. He replied, "What do you suppose we do?"

"Best way to find out what the hell's goin' on is to snare the ass-clowns themselves!" Eddy stood up. "And lucky for us, Frost and his brother live alone in their trailer, so they'll be easy to screw some answers out of!"

"Great, let's go!" Nazz hopped off of Eddy's bed.

"Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Where do ya think yer goin'?" Eddy stepped in front of Nazz.

"Uh, with you to Alex's trailer! Move, please!" Nazz tried to get pass Eddy, but he kept on stepping in her way!

"Why?" Eddy retorted. "So, you can get captured and play a double-role as a damsel-in-distress…again?"

"For your information, I was knocked out while fighting! Thank you!" Nazz glared.

"That's what happens when you don't listen!" Eddy frowned.

"Like you're one to talk!" Nazz pushed Eddy.

"I'll be in the living room should you need me!" Edd power-walked out of Eddy's room and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you so stubborn? It's like no matter what happens, you feel like you should do what you want and expect people to just follow you all the time!" Nazz clinched her teeth.

"YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?" Eddy bellowed back. "I'M THE WAY I AM BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE! ESPECIALLY YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET INVOLVED IN THE SAME MESS I DO CUZ IT ALWAYS ENDS UP BAD JUST LIKE IT DID TONIGHT! THAT'S WHY I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME!"

"I CARE ABOUT YOU, TOO! THAT'S WHY I WANT TO BE THERE TO HELP YOU WHETHER YOU WANT IT OR NOT!" Nazz roared with emotion. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO IMMATURE AND MAKE THINGS SO HARD?"

"I'M IMMATURE? Eddy interrupted. "YOU ALWAYS STUCK WITH OR HUMORED KEVIN OR OTHER GUYS WHENEVER THEY WE'RE BEIN' AN ASSWIPE! JUST LIKE WHEN YA TOOK THAT JOB _BABYSITTIN'_ ME!"

"I TOOK THAT JOB TO GET CLOSE TO YOU!" Nazz softly continued.

"WHAT'RE YA TALKIN' ABOUT?" Eddy uttered softly.

"I DID THAT, AMONG OTHER THINGS, TO BE WITH YOU! TO SEE YOU!" Nazz explained. "THAT THING THAT HAPPENED WITH KEVIN AND THE OTHER BOYS WAS ACCIDENT! I ONLY DID WHAT I DID BECAUSE YOUR IMMATURITY GOT IN THE WAY AND INDUCED PEER PRESSURE! EVERY TIME I TRIED TO BE WITH YOU, YOU DID SOMETHING LOW AND TURNED ME AWAY! BUT I NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU! BECAUSE I KNEW DEEP DOWN INSIDE, THAT THERE WAS A SWEETER, BUT MISUNDERSTOOD GUY! AND UNTIL THREE YEARS BACK, THAT'S HOW IT WAS!"

* * *

**Flashback- 11 years ago in the Van Bartonschmeer house. Bradley, Rachel, and a 5-year-old Nazz sat at the kitchen table. Nazz was wearing a version of clothes quite similar to that of what she wore in the old series. She wore a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and a smaller version of her present day sneakers. Her hair was also the same as it was in the old series and she was wearing a purple bowtie on the top of her head. Bradley read a newspaper while Rachel and Nazz talked. "But mommy!" Young Nazz whined.**

"**Nasina, I've explained this to you already!" Rachel pointed her finger. "The tuition fee for that child development center has gotten far too expensive and your father hasn't found the right job to pay it off! So, I'm afraid you're just going to have to go to an average school and make friends that way!" **

"**That is, wike, so not fair!" Nazz pouted in her seat.**

"**Van Bartonschmeers don't have the luxury of getting what we want yet, sweetheart!" Bradley put his newspaper down. "Now, please, for me, go make some friends, while I yell at your mother for something related to the **_**bathtub**_**!" Bradley twitched slightly.**

**Still pouting, Nazz hopped out of her chair and walked off-screen as she folded her arms and looked upwards. As she stomped down a sidewalk, she mocked, "Go make some friends! We don't have the "wuxury" to get what we want! Yeah, whateva, daddy! Probably got nothing but ugwy…" **

**Nazz looked over at the lane and saw the Eds, Kevin, and Jonny were hanging out in the lane. Ed and Eddy were halfway into the dumpster as they searched for something. Kevin, Jonny (with Plank), and a revolted Edd stood there and watched. (Rolf did not move in yet and Sarah and Jimmy were too young to speak coherently during this point in time). **

**Back then, Eddy wore a yellow shirt with a cent-sign on the front, blue shorts, and red sneakers. Ed wore a vertical version of his shirt in the old series, green shorts, and black sneakers. Edd wore an orange shirt that read, "Learning is Fun" on the front, purple shorts, and blue sneakers. Kevin wore a short-sleeve light-green shirt, brown shorts, and gray sneakers. Jonny wore a white shirt with the Canadian leaf on it, indigo shorts, and sneakers.**

"**Find anything yet, Eddy?" Kevin shouted. **

"**NOPE! WAIT! WAIT! PULL ME OUT! PULL ME OUT!" Eddy swung his feet in the air. **

"**Mortification finally struck a cord, Eddy?" Edd folded his arms. **

"**NO! NOW, PULL ME OUT! QUICK!" **

**Kevin and Jonny each grabbed one of Eddy's legs and yanked him out of the dumpster as Ed fell completely into it! **

"**Look what I got!" Eddy showed Kevin, Edd, and Jonny an old, gold tire rim! "Bet if we fix it up and polish it, we'd get big bucks!" **

"**Eddy, you do realize that that metallic vehicular part is composed of false bullion, right?" Edd tried to help a filthy Ed out of the dumpster as he (Edd) looked at him (Eddy). Just then, Kevin and Jonny went bug-eyed when they turned their head in another direction. **

**Eddy continued, "Who's gonna know? Trash inspectors? Kev and Jonny-boy'll-" **

**Kevin turned Eddy's head to the direction that he (Kevin) and Jonny were facing and dropped his tire rim as he developed bug-eyes as well! Edd and Ed then turned their attentions to the thing that their friends were looking at and developed bug-eyes of their own before the latter fell on top of the former! The camera shifted to the thing that the boys were all looking at: Nazz! **

"**Hey, guys! What's up?" Nazz smiled; but it looked as if she was only smiling at a certain person. The boys swiftly stood back up and started sweating and babbling incoherently as Nazz giggled, "Guess I should start! I'm Nazz! And before you say something, I lived here for as long as you have! I just spent my time in a development center! So, wike, what's your name? Or do I have to make one up for you!" **

"**Th-Th-The name's, K-K-Kevin!" Kevin gulped. **

"**Tell me again what my name is before I wet myself, Plank!" Jonny whispered. "Oh, right! I'm Jon…ny!" he farted! **

"**Hello, pretty girl named Nazz!" Ed waved as he sweated. "My name is Ed; the Thor to Peach Creek's Asgard!" **

**Edd and Eddy looked at Ed annoyed as they continued to sweat uncontrollably and the former uttered, "S-S-Salutations, Nazz! My name is Edd also, but I prefer to be addressed as "Double D"!" before the latter introduced as he looked down to the ground, "I'm…uh…Eddy! Yeah!" **

**Before Nazz could say something else, Bradley called, "NASINA! TIME TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM!" **

"**Whoops! Gotta go, guys! See ya!" Nazz blew the boys a kiss before she ran off; and from the direction, it looked as if it was blown at Kevin and/or Eddy, who fainted!**

* * *

**Sometime later, the Eds were on the playground alone. Ed was running on top of and underneath the monkey bars repeatedly while Edd and Eddy were on the swings. Edd was swinging while Eddy just sat there and moped as he thought about Nazz. **

"**Still thinking about that wondrous display of unimaginable beauty, Eddy?" Edd stopped swinging. **

"**Yeah!" Eddy replied dreamily before a shadow approached him and covered his own. He looked up and, much to his bug-eyed surprise, saw that it was none other than, "NAZZ!" **

"**Hey, Eddy!" Nazz greeted. "I went to Kevin's house, but he wasn't there! So, wike, can I play with you or what?" **

**Eddy looked at Edd excitedly before a brief montage began. Eddy and Nazz were smiling at each other as they dug into the sandbox together. Just then, a barrage of sand started to hit both children as Nazz screamed, "My hair!" and the two angrily turned around in time to see Ed digging a hole into the sandbox like a dog! **

**Sometime afterwards, Nazz slid down the slide before Eddy followed and accidentally hit her! But instead of crying, the two laughed until Ed slid on the slide and knocked both Eddy and Nazz off-screen with his head!**

**Prompting this, Eddy and Nazz jumped onto the merry-go-round and yelled joyfully as Ed pushed it and Edd dug into the sandbox alone. Just then, a bee came from behind Ed's head and stung him before he painfully ran and fearfully got on the merry-go-round and spun it at EEnE-speed! Wanting to avoid injury this time, Eddy and Nazz jumped out of the merry-go-round before both it and Ed sunk into the ground and Eddy and Nazz laughed while Edd ran on-screen to help him! **

**The montage ended when the camera slowly shifted to Kevin on a bike with training wheels across the street, who watched the whole thing between Eddy and Nazz and instantly became disgruntled. **

* * *

**Now sunset, the Eds and Nazz (who was eating a large cookie) walked to Eddy's place through the alley. Ed destroyed the fence as a way of making an entrance to the back door of Eddy's room. **

"**Hey, Lumpy! Break enough stuff with that merry-go-round, already?" Eddy pouted. **

"**You know, Nazz! As delectable cookies may be, over-consumption of them can result in immediate weight gain!"**

"**No way, Double D! I'm never gonna get fat! EVER!" Nazz bit into her cookie.**

"**And I am never going to wear deodorant unless it attracts chickens!" Ed twiddled with his eyebrow.**

**When the children walked into Eddy's room, an angered Kevin was sitting on his (Eddy's) bed waiting for them! Eddy's room consisted of posters of childish toys, a small TV, and a smaller version of his round king-sized bed.**

"**Huh, I ain't know my parents were here!" Eddy looked at Kevin with a smile. **

"**They ain't! I let myself in!" Kevin replied bitterly: causing a change in emotional mood for all four kids.**

"**Kev, you o.k?" Eddy scratched his head.**

"**Don't talk to me like we're bwos, ya neck-wess chump!" Kevin stood up angrily.**

"**Say what?" Eddy got angry and walked towards Kevin. **

"**You heard me!" Kevin fired back. "You just couldn't wait to get yer hands on Nazz's cooties, could ya?" **

"**Ya bein' a dummy, Kevo!" Eddy retorted. "Now get outta here before I-" **

"**Or what? You gonna run to mommy and daddy like a little…dork? Huh?" Kevin pulled Eddy's nose!**

"**Why you…!" Eddy pushed Kevin back with one hand! **

**Kevin responded by pushing him with both hands before Eddy did the same even harder! Just then, Kevin tackled Eddy to the ground and a fighting cloud formed and started to roll all around the room under the watchful eyes of Nazz, Edd, and Ed! **

"**Oh, man!" Nazz tried to intervene, but was stopped by Edd. **

"**Situations like this must be handled-" **

"**Let her go, Double D!" Ed pointed to Nazz. "For it is her who brought this plague upon our chums!" **

"**Ed, stop it!" Edd reprimanded. "And please disintegrate that fracas before someone gets truly injured!"**

**Ed did a military-salute before he took off his eyebrow, spun it around like a bullwhip, and lashed it right in the middle of Eddy and Kevin's fighting cloud; ending the brawl! Both boys had black eyes, torn clothes, and dirt stains all over! Eddy and Kevin glared at each other; having went from close friends to mortal enemies for years to come. **

"**Get out of my room…Shovelchin!" Eddy clinched his teeth. **

**Kevin got up and stormed passed the other Eds and Nazz, but turned around to tell the other guys, "Just so ya know, if I catch you guys hangin' out with that loser, yer on the official dork list, too!" **

**Kevin barged out of Eddy's room just as Nazz and the other Eds ran up to Eddy.**

"**Are you okay?" Nazz asked.**

"**Yeah! But you better get out of here!" Eddy replied. **

"**What're you talking about?" Nazz asked innocently. **

"**Boxhead's the most likeable guy in Kindergarten! He'll tell everyone to hate anyone whose pals with me!" Eddy replied. "And that's not gonna look good for a new girl like you!" **

"**So, do you believe that you and Kevin can never be friends, again?" Edd asked. **

"**Don't look like it!" Eddy looked down in sadness. "But that don't mean Nazz can't be!" **

"**Eddy!" Nazz looked at Eddy. **

"**Look, this is my problem, not yers!" Eddy smiled at Nazz. "Tell ya what, though! If Kev and I do make up, maybe you and I can be somethin' later on! But right now, you got a reputation to build! Now, get outta here!"**

**Nazz smiled sadly and reluctantly ran out of Eddy's room to catch up with Kevin, who walked through the entrance Ed made! **

"**Hey, Kev!" Nazz caught up with Kevin and the two talked a little bit. As Kevin turned his back, Nazz gave Eddy a sad look as he watched her walk away via his window and the screen flashed white before it reopened in the current time.**

* * *

"Obviously, all those years of you getting abused by your brother and Kevin's friends must have made you forget and focus on being a complete asshole." Nazz continued. "And I waited…seven years…for you to break out of that seriously messed-up shell…and be you again. Seven years! That kiss I gave you…in the big picture show…wasn't just because I was glad you were all right." Nazz touched Eddy's left cheek. "It was because…I was emotional about having you back. The only boy…I truly ever loved…was just…wearing a mask all that time. And I was the only one who saw through it. You're the one, Eddy."

Eddy walked away from Nazz and turned his back as he chuckled, "I was a dumb-ass. I know…yer the one for me, Nazz. But all this time…I couldn't bring myself to accept it, cuz…I don't deserve you. Even though you said you'd wait for me…I always thought…you'd be better off with some other dude…like Nate." Nazz developed an emotional smile. "That's why I…put on the whole playboy bullshit...after me and yer cousin broke up. I was tryin' to see if any of the other girls had the spark to replace you…but I ain't never find it, cuz…no spark could…replace you."

Nazz walked up behind Eddy and turned him around before she touched both of his cheeks and they touched foreheads. In slow-motion…Eddy and Nazz kissed slowly, but passionately before time flew by and showed the couple making out on Eddy's bed in his dark room as a woman softly vocalized as background music for the purpose of the mood.

_Nazz slowly removed Eddy's shirt and threw it to the side before the two continued to make-out fervently. Nazz pushed Eddy down onto the bed and removed his jeans to show his white boxers with dollar signs on them before she lied on top of him and continued to kiss him with her hands on his face. Eddy unbuttoned Nazz's jeans and slowly removed them to show her black panties. Once she shook her jeans off of her legs, she began kissing Eddy's chest and abs before she stood over him with her knees and removed her shirt to reveal her light-blue bra. She continued to ardently kiss Eddy before he suddenly flipped her over and began sinking his face into the side of her neck. Nazz moaned pleasurably _before the screen faded to black and the woman ceased vocalizing.

The screen reopened to show Eddy and Nazz asleep under the bed's covers. The latter was lying on top of the former's back as he rested on his stomach. Eddy suddenly opened his left eye and looked at Nazz. Remembering his previous plans, he zipped out from underneath her EEnE-style and put some extra pillows there to replace him.

Eddy swiftly put his clothes back on before he armed himself with a baseball bat. He looked at Nazz lovingly and kissed her on the forehead before he ran out his backdoor to carry out his mission.

* * *

It was morning already, but it was still unbearably dark outside like it was at night. Eddy could be seen running through the streets as off-screen owls hooted and crickets chirped. He hopped over some bushes and went through several trees until he reached Park n' Flush trailer park.

"KNOCK, KNOCK, DOUCHEBAGS!" Eddy kicked the door to Alex and Brandon's trailer down and swung his bat around like a sword. But when he walked in and stood still for about ten seconds, he saw that the place was deserted. "Pussies!"

Eddy walked into the kitchen and saw that there was nothing wrong in there except for a few dirty dishes in the sink. He smiled slyly, "Upstairs!" before he went upstairs and busted the door open in Brandon's room, but didn't find anything out of the ordinary. He then slowly turned around and kicked Alex's door open and saw a large amount of papers on his bed. Some were written and others were designs that looked as if they all went together.

"What the hell?" Eddy dropped his bat as he picked up some papers. One he was looking at in particular was one that read, "OPERATION: BLACKMARK"

* * *

Meanwhile in Eddy's room, Nazz had just now woken up and realized that Eddy was gone. She thought for a moment before she sighed angrily, "Damn it, Eddy!" and began to put her clothes back on.

In Eddy's dark living room, Edd was sleeping peacefully on one of the black sofas until Nazz tiptoed out of Eddy's room as she put her shirt on and spotted him.

"_Double D! Double D!" _Nazz whispered loudly. _"DOUBLE D!" _

Edd swiftly awakened from his slumber as he muttered incoherently for a moment. He looked up at Nazz, _"What are you still doing here? And where's Eddy?"_

Nazz sighed, "I think I know."

* * *

In the interim, Eddy was in the Frost Brothers' kitchen table as he looked through the designs and notes; trying to figure out what his enemies was planning. He squinted as he studied two designs and one page of notes and drunk some vodka to keep himself awake. On the notes page, Eddy focused his attention on the words, "KANKERFROST POISON" before he looked at the designs. Both looked as if they were part of something bigger. Frustrated, Eddy tossed the papers on the floor.

"_THIS WHOLE THING, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IS HAPPENIN' CUZ YA SPAT IN MY FACE…AND LEE'S!"_ Alex's voice echoed through Eddy's head as he took a sip of his vodka. Soon, voices based on the previous events of the episode began overlapping within his head as he held it.

**Eddy fell into a dream-like state as a montage of everything that had happened earlier began. The Crankshaft explosion in the junkyard. The Eau de wood rot Eddy found on the X-house's support beam. The scene where the big kid tossed him against the wall. The scene where he and Edd were in the factory and Alex uttered off-screen, "**_**THIS WHOLE THING, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IS HAPPENIN' CUZ YA SPAT IN MY FACE…AND LEE'S!**_**" **

"**I highly doubt that this is the idyllic asylum for our antagonistic delinquents, Eddy!" Edd's voice overlapped the scenes where the house in Flavorcrest Hills exploded and the tall kid from earlier on was electrocuted by the streetlight Eddy kicked. **

**Eddy was quickly seen lying on a couch twitching as a feminine hand wiped his face clean of sweat and Nazz's voice uttered, "Shh, I'm here" and the montage continued with the SKUNKSHARK bombs blowing up in Edd's face, Eddy finding Kyle's initials on his cigar, and him and Edd first seeing the gang that attacked them. **

**The montage continued with Eddy grabbing the tall kid's shirt and aggressively interrogating him before a glimpse of Nazz could be seen. This time though, she appeared to be tugging on something with a concentrated facial expression. The montage ended with Eddy looking up after his encounter with the electrocuted tall kid as Alex's voice echoed, "GIVE IT UP, GATES!" and we could see his sinister face as the echo concluded "THIS IS ONE FIGHT YOU AIN'T GONNA WIN!" **

**Eddy then found himself in front of the SKUNKSHARK bombs rather than Edd before they blew up in his face and…**

"AAAGGH!" He woke up to realize that the whole thing was a dream! He looked around and saw that he was lying on the Frost brothers' couch before Edd walked in with all of the notes and designs from earlier in his hand.

"Good morning." Nazz stood over Eddy as she held his hands and looked into his eyes.

Five minutes later, the kids were sitting at the kitchen table.

"Gotta give Frost credit." Eddy looked through some notes. "For a crackhead, he could be what Ed calls a criminal mastermind."

"Unique this plot is indeed, Eddy." Edd started to put certain different designs together like a puzzle. "I still find it rather a challenge to assemble the correlation between the destruction of our clubhouse and this conspiracy against us."

"We'll find out. Hopefully." Eddy sipped his warm vodka.

As Nazz read the rest of the notes, she squinted when she stumbled upon a colored, but transparent folded-up sheet of paper.

"Hey, guys! Look what I found!" She began to open it up as Edd moved the papers out of the way. When she and the two Eds flattened it out, they saw that it was a map of the entire Peach Creek neighborhood!

"It's...a map!" Edd pointed out the obvious. "And a very valuable clue at that!"

"Put it on the floor!" Eddy hopped out of the chair and pushed the table back as Edd and Nazz placed the map on the floor and began flattening it out before they started skimming. To Edd and Nazz's attention, the map had quite a few red dots on certain places marked on it.

"What are all these marks?" Nazz touched her chin as Eddy kneeled down to their level.

"Well, let's look where they are, shall we?" Edd looked at one mark while Eddy looked at another and pointed, "Hey! That's yer house!"

Edd looked down at the map, "Oh my! You're right, Eddy! And there's Cody's!"

"Oh, man!" Nazz pointed to another mark. "And that one's Maggie's!"

The trio looked at the other marks until Edd uttered, "Oh, my God! These dry-erase speckles cover everyone's residences with the exception of this trailer park and…"

"Mine and Eddy's houses!" Nazz shouted. "Even though I don't know what's going on, I know that there must be something seriously screwed-up about to go down! But what?"

Eddy thought for about fifteen seconds before he snapped his fingers and grabbed Alex's notes and designs off-screen. He swiftly brushed the map aside and began putting the designs together like a puzzle at EEnE-speed as Edd scratched his hat, "What are you doing?"

He closed his mouth when he saw that the designs, together, were a skyscraper-shaped machine. Nazz raised her eyebrow, "What…is that?"

Eddy shuffled through Alex's notes a little before he skimmed and developed bug-eyes. He softly gulped, _"Crazy son of a bitch!" _

"WHAT?" Edd and Nazz yelled interested.

" 'Ccordin' to this thing…Frost and the Kankers…" Eddy dropped the notes. "…wanna level everyone's houses. With the mixed-up formulas of weaponized Crankshaft, _Eau_ _de_ _wood_ _rot_, and SKUNKSHARK."

Edd and Nazz gasped. They knew that Alex's gang and the Kankers were up to something, but they didn't think that they would go that far.

"Talk about crossin' the line, huh?" Eddy looked down.

"But why?" Nazz wondered. "And why ignore our houses? We're the ones they want!"

"Ain't it obvious, sweetheart?" Eddy touched his chin. "If everyone's places are wrecked and ours ain't, who do ya think their parents are gonna blame when these wise guys got ways of gettin' around stuff?"

Nazz developed bug-eyes of disbelief and surprise as Eddy continued, "Exactly! And when they blame us, we'll be grounded for life and both Frost and Lee are gonna have a field day with harassin' us until we break!"

"And, like, since our parents are already gonna be pissed off at us, the last thing they'll want to hear is us talk!" Nazz concluded. "Even if it is the truth!"

"If that is indeed the case, then we have no time to dispose of!" Edd reached off-screen and brought the map back over to the trio. "What we must do is assemble our friends and lead a campaign against the masterminds in their asylum before their intents become a reality!"

"But where are they going to be?" Nazz wondered.

Eddy shuffled through Alex's notes again and skimmed through a piece of paper before he circled one note and showed it to his friends, "UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVEABLE!"

"Surely this is a false indication meant to mislead us as before!" Edd developed bug-eyes as he and Nazz looked at the paper.

" 'Fraid not, Sockhead!" Eddy balled the paper up. "You and half the geography class said so yerselves: Notes are friends, denial's the enemy!"

"We better get the other guys and head down there!" Nazz took out her phone and called Maggie, but no one answered. "That's weird! Maggie always keeps her phone on ringer and in her pocket!"

Eddy took out his cell phone and called Kevin, but like Nazz, there was no answer!

"Kev's not answerin' either!" Eddy grew suspicious. "Somethin' ain't right!"

"Allow me to portray the saying "Third time's the charm", friends!" Edd took out his phone and called Cody. Someone answered, but the voice wasn't Cody's!

"_What's up, Knight?" _Travis' voice sneered on the other end.

"Travis Blake?" Edd put the phone on speaker. "Where…is…Cody?"

"_Why don't'chu, Gates, and the blonde hottie find out for yerself?" _Travis replied sinisterly and hung-up as Edd, Nazz, and Eddy looked at one another!

* * *

The screen shifted to the street Cody lived on before Eddy, Nazz, and Edd came running on-screen!

"Oh, my god!" Nazz covered her mouth when she and the others looked at Cody's house!

In the living room window, we could see Cody bound and gagged to a chair under the watchful, sinister eyes of Travis! The latter saw Eddy and co. and pointed to the garage, where the trio watched as Brandon poured gasoline onto the cruiser in the driveway! Brandon then smiled wickedly before he took out a lighter, ignited it, and dropped it onto the cruiser before he ran away and it caught on fire and began to spark!

"NO!" Edd screamed. Even though he was more concerned about Cody, he was crushed at the fact it was already too late to save all his hard work! Just then, the cruiser exploded before pieces of shrapnel began to fly towards the kids!

"GET DOWN!" Eddy grabbed both Edd and Nazz by the back of their respective shirts and in slow motion, lunged both himself and his friends backwards as they spun around and the shrapnel slightly missed each of them! When they landed, Edd's phone fell out of his pocket and rung in normal motion.

"Hello?" Edd put the phone on speaker before Travis replied, _"Just so ya know, yer cousin ain't the only one stuck to a chair! All yer other retard pals are stuck, too! That includes Fuller! Douche-bag put up a fight, but still had no shot against that hardcore Kanker rubber cement! HA! HA! Later, losers!" _

The trio looked at each other a tad discouraged, but Eddy kept the strong image of a leader and uttered, "Looks like we're on our own. Let's get to the Kankers' place!" before the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened with the trio looking at the Kankers' hideout spot from a distance. Which was the place that they were so sure would be gone for good: the Kankers' clubhouse from **Vert-Ed-Go**! Its design was strikingly similar to that of the Kankers' former hangout spot (paint-job included), but it looked more like a mansion than an outhouse! It also had a small, pink/white-stripped chimney on the edge of the left side!

"Wow!" Nazz uttered astonished. "They've got some serious connections!"

"Care to wager that the production was done via the use of unwilling set designers of the school's technical drama department?" Edd looked at Nazz.

"We ain't got time for sight-seein'!" Eddy told them. "Here's the plan!"

In a room with little light, May and Marie were among several crossbones gang members and their leader, Maurice (**Hail to the Ed**) that were watching as Kyle completed their machine, which originally appeared only in Alex's designs.

"Hurry up, Campbell!" Marie impatiently swung her hip.

"Huh! You almost sounded worried there!" Kyle smirked.

"I ain't!" Marie retorted. "I'm just itchin' to watch hell break loose already!"

"Surprised we got this far without gettin' stopped halfway!" May goofily grinned.

"Shut it, Bucky!" Marie banged May on the head. "Or you'll jinx us!"

"Stop hittin' me!" May delivered an uppercut to Marie before a fighting cloud broke out and the crossbones members watched amused!

From inside the attic of the clubhouse, masterminds Alex and Lee watched the commotion via gray surveillance screens as they sat at a table and drunk root beer victoriously! On the table was a remote-control-like device with two buttons (one red, one blue) and a pimple-shaped light (that was turned off) on it.

"Don't see how ya deal with that!" Alex smirked.

"Over the years, it just got entertainin'…when I wasn't in it!" Lee joked before the two chuckled and toasted bottles.

* * *

Outside of the clubhouse, the camera slowly shifted to Edd as he saw the inside of the former via the use of his upgraded heat-seeking goggles. Right then, he pointed a telescope-shaped device at it (the clubhouse) and pressed a button on the top of it before something big and pancake-shaped fired out of it and landed against the wall!

The camera moved down to show that the three were sitting in an old kayak that was set to be catapulted directly at the clubhouse! The eager Eddy sat up front while the slightly uneasy Nazz sat directly behind him and Edd sat down behind her.

"Good shot, pal! Now, for the openin' act!" Eddy took out a portable version of his jackhammer-like detonator from last chapter and pushed it down as he smirked, "KABLAM!"

Still inside the machine room, Kyle, Marie, May, Maurice, and the crossbones gang ducked in cover when the wall suddenly exploded tremendously as a large cloud of stinky green smoke inhabited the air and dramatic music played!

Inside the attic, Alex and Lee spat out their root beer and shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK?" as they looked at the screen.

Outside of the clubhouse…

"NOW, DOUBLE D!" Eddy turned to Edd concentrated.

Using hedge-clippers, Edd cut the rope that kept the kayak in place before the whole boat was flung directly towards the forced opening of the clubhouse at EEnE-speed! From inside the clubhouse, we could see the kayak emerge from the fading smoke and fly off-screen after Eddy, Nazz, and Edd (the former two were holding hands) jumped out and landed feet-first right in the middle of Alex and Lee's accomplices…who saw them!

"The "KANKERFROST POISON" machine!" Edd looked at the machine he saw in Alex's designs. "And it looks as if it had not yet been activated!"

"Yeah, well don't go thinkin' it won't be, Knight!" Maurice stood up; his gang members, Kyle, and the other Kankers followed. "Ya can't stop us!"

Maurice and Marie motioned for everyone to move in on the trio before Eddy and Nazz pushed Edd towards the machine as the former yelled, "Do somethin' about that thing! FAST!"

"Like what?" Edd shrugged.

"I dunno! Figure out how to take it apart 'er somethin! Ya took the notes with ya, remember?" Eddy and Nazz got into martial arts-based battle stances before Kyle, Maurice, and the crossbones gang charged towards them and a massive fight ensues as Marie and May watched on the sidelines!

Though the young martial artists were outnumbered, they were easily able to fight off the young delinquents! When one kid tried to strike Eddy with a metal baseball bat, he (Eddy) caught it and knocked the kid out when he punched him! After he cracked his knuckles, Eddy head-slapped one thug on the right ear, punched him in the rib, and grabbed the back of his head before he (Eddy) bashed it on his leg; knocking him out!

Just then, another kid ran up to Eddy and tried to deliver a sucker-punch, but the latter turned around once as he blocked the shot and turned around again to knock him out with an elbow to the face! Next, Maurice himself ran towards Eddy and tried to knock him out with a crowbar, but Eddy knocked it away, karate-chopped him in the neck, knee-kicked him in the stomach, and knocked him out with a blow to the back of the head!

* * *

From the attic, a disgruntled Alex and Lee witnessed the fight and decided the main problem was Eddy before former yelled, "TREY!"

Just then, the tall, muscular Goth kid that escaped into the sewers last chapter (Trey) walked up behind the antagonistic duo as Alex continued, "Time to visit yer old pal, Gates, again!"

Trey looked into the off-screen surveillance screen and huffed as he rushed off-screen to aide his fellow ruffians!

Lee looked at Alex angered, "What're you waitin' for? Turn on the damn machine already!"

"Ain't gonna happen, Lee!" Alex grabbed the device. "Just cuz they're here, it doesn't mean they can get in the way! I'ma turn it on when it's 5:00 like we planned! By now, their parents are gettin' ready to leave work!"

"What if Double D takes somethin' important off, huh?" Lee banged on the table frustrated.

"Trust me! He can't do that!" Alex smiled at Lee. "Cuz half the effort requires muscle…which he don't got!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Nazz was fighting off as much a barrage as Eddy was and was quite effective courtesy of all the private workouts and training sessions she underwent for a while! When an angered Marie ran up to Nazz and tried to deliver a powerful sucker-punch, Nazz blocked the shot and punched Marie down and over to May!

Next, a crossbones kid attempted to strike Nazz with a golf club, but she karate-chopped him in the forearm and made him drop it before she delivered a powerful blow to his carotid pulse; knocking him unconscious! She then grabbed the back of his shirt and used him as a shield to deflect an attack from another kid's shovel before she threw him (the unconscious boy) at the (the shovel boy) and both disappeared off-screen!

Nazz stepped on the shovel before it flipped up and the air just as two more kids ran up to her from front and back! The one coming up front tried to strike Nazz with a curtain rod, but she knocked it out of his hand, wrapped one arm around his neck, and knee-kicked him in the back before he fell to his knees in pain!

Not forgetting about the kid behind her, she kicked him in the groin without turning around just as the shovel finally came down in time for her to catch it, knock the first kid into unconsciousness when she elbowed his neck, and turn around to knock the kid behind her unconscious with the shovel! Nazz dropped the shovel and watched Eddy fight off Kyle and the last four crossbones gang members!

One kid tried to strike Eddy with a war-hammer-like weapon, but Eddy grabbed his wrist before he could swing and palm-punched him against a wall! Another kid ran up to Eddy and tried to sucker-punch him in the back of the head, but he saw this, blocked his shot, and knocked him out! Prompting this, the war-hammer kid got back up and tried to attack Eddy again as he bellowed, but Eddy kicked him in the stomach and delivered a roundhouse kick to the back of his head before he fell unconscious!

Eddy turned around in time to see Kyle and the last two crossbones gang members pin Edd against the machine and prepared to beat on him!

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" Edd struggled to get free, but his strength was clearly no match for the thugs'!

"Or what? You'll disinfect me?" Kyle cracked his neck and prepared to double-slam Edd as the other thugs held him into place!

Just then, Eddy pulled Kyle backwards and threw him off-screen before he fought off the last two thugs! The first one swung at Eddy, but he ducked, gave him an uppercut, and swiftly karate-chopped him on certain places on his head and neck before he fell unconscious! The other thug tried to strike Eddy with a wooden stick, but he caught his wrist and made him knock himself out with the branch!

Unscathed, Kyle ran up to Eddy and tried to knock him out, but Eddy palm-punched him in the chest and knocked him out by striking him in the face with the branch; ending the brawl against the crossbones' gang! Eddy dropped the branch and looked at Edd as he continued to figure out how to disable the machine.

"Ain't'chu done thinkin' yet?" Eddy tapped his foot on the ground impatiently.

Suddenly, Nazz looked to her right and developed bug-eyes before she yelled, "EDDY, WATCH OUT!"

Eddy looked at Nazz before he looked to his right and Trey swiftly ran on-screen and grabbed him before he crashed through a wall and continued to do so in an attempt to strip Eddy of his consciousness!

"EDDY!" Nazz screamed concern before Marie yelled off-screen, "Hey, hoe!"

Nazz angrily turned around and saw Marie zip in front of her as she delivered an uppercut to her (Nazz's) face before she (Nazz) fell to the floor! Marie grabbed the back of Nazz's shirt and held her into place as May repeatedly kicked her in the stomach! Marie then yanked Nazz upwards and kept her in a headlock as May came at her (Nazz) with a broken pipe!

In retaliation, Nazz bashed the back of her head against Marie's face, grabbed her arm, and flipped her over her shoulder before she (Nazz) knocked May's pipe out of her hand and punched her onto the floor! She then picked up the pipe and knocked both sisters out with a blow to the back of the head! Edd breathed a sigh of relief now that there was no present threat in the room.

* * *

In the attic, Alex looked at the enraged Lee and uttered, "Go 'head." knowing that things had just now gotten personal for her. Lee angrily got up and walked off-screen as Alex continued to look at the monitors.

* * *

Meanwhile, Trey still had Eddy in his clutches as he crashed through more and more walls!

"LET GO! LET GO! LET GO!" Eddy seethed with rage. "I said…LET GO!"

Eddy stretched his left leg out and kicked Trey in the groin before he (Trey) stopped in a room and held his crotch in pain! Taking advantage of this, Eddy grabbed the top of his hair and swung himself upwards before he wrapped his legs around a ceiling fan, grabbed Trey's head, and with all his might, picked him up and slammed him onto the ceiling! Eddy landed feet-first onto the floor while Trey fell face-first unconscious and defeated!

"Jeez, what's with all these rooms, anyway? Not like anyone would wanna stay here with those three abominations!" Eddy looked around and saw a camera that focused solely on him. "FROST! Sit tight! Cuz I gotta have violent chat with ya and Lee!"

In the attic, an enraged Alex threw his bottle at a wall before it shattered! He then took out his phone, which read "5:00" before he coldly and without hesitation pressed the red button on his remote!

* * *

In the machine room, Edd and Nazz stepped back and watched as the device activated by shifting it's mechanical structure around! The tip of the machine expanded into a cannon-like tube before the three ceilings above it (including the attic) opened up like an automatic door! Right then, the tube shot a missile-shaped probe through the ceilings and into the sky!

"NO!" Nazz screamed.

"Do not panic, Nazz!" Edd looked through the notes as he sweated nervously. "According to Alex's notes, the probe must reach the thermosphere and re-enter before it can consummate it's objective! And that will take approximately twenty minutes!"

"How, like, can guys who fail math and science class think of something like this, anyway?" Nazz swung her hips in wonder.

"Desires of mindless destruction and defamation of one's enemy is motivation enough to allow one to incept a scheme that will induce a solace!" Edd folded his arms angrily.

"Speakin' of enemies!" the camera shifted to Lee, who was standing in front of an elevator on the right side of Edd and Nazz with an angered facial expression and her fists balled up.

Nazz glared at Lee and walked near her in rage and pure spite. The two archenemies stared each other down as they prepared for a showdown. Dramatic build-up-based music played as the camera moved down to Nazz's left hand, which made a cracking noise when she balled it up. She used that same hand to administer the traditional "bring it on" hand sign.

Lee zipped towards Nazz at EEnE-speed before the latter stopped her with a karate-kick to the abdomen before she delivered a head-butt to the Kanker leader's forehead! Angered, Lee sprung herself back up and took out a long chain before she swung it at Nazz skillfully! However, the latter stepped back and allowed the chain to wrap around her right wrist before she pulled Lee towards her and punched her on the ground!

"Give it up, Kanker!" Nazz cracked her neck. "I'm not the same amateur fighter you knew three years back! You think I won't kick your ass like I did your sisters?"

Lee sprung herself back up one more time and ran at Nazz when she threw a glass bottle at her. Nazz broke the glass bottle with a careful karate-chop, but saw that it was a distraction when Lee tackled her against a wall! Prompting this, Lee punched Nazz in the stomach three times and once in the face before the latter caught her other fist, head-butted her one more time, and kicked her onto the floor!

"Yeah, keep knockin' me down, Blonda!" Lee stood back up. "But I'ma be the one laughin' my ass off when this whole thing is over!"

"Hope you don't think that even if you do manage to level everyone's houses, that you're gonna get away without being in for a lesson!" Nazz spat.

"Yer the one who needs to be taught a lesson, bombslut!" Lee grinned mischievously. Behind her back was a spray-can of crankshaft. "And I'm the one to give it!"

Lee zipped up to Nazz and tried to deliver a punch to Nazz's face, but she caught it and Lee, suddenly smiled victoriously! With her other hand, she sprayed Nazz in the eyes and blinded her before she released her grip! Next, Nazz suffered at the hands of Lee during the climax of their battle!

Lee swung at Nazz and even though she blocked it, her fuzzy vision made it so she couldn't see Lee punch her in the stomach! Lee punched the wall after she failed to punch Nazz in the face, but did manage to knee-kick her face upwards and deliver a punch to her left cheek! Lee then delivered an uppercut that sent Nazz flying back until she fell on her back!

Lee then jumped in front of Nazz as she kneeled down in pain and delivered two punches to both of her cheeks before she kicked her in the face! Nazz sprung herself back up, but this proved to be in vain when Lee choke-slammed her onto the floor! Nazz got up again and tried to deliver a sucker-punch, but Lee caught it and knocked Nazz onto the floor!

Nazz got back up and at EEnE-speed unleashed a barrage of martial-arts-based punches, but Lee blocked every one of them and kicked Nazz against another wall! Lee then grabbed Nazz and threw her over to the machine, but Nazz maneuvered herself and safely landed feet-first! With her vision still cloudy, Nazz rubbed her eyes and ruined her eyeliner, but was able to see clearly again. But not before Lee delivered a flying kick to her abdomen that sent her flying against the machine!

"Oh, my!" Edd shouted appalled!

Lee kneeled down as she mocked Nazz, "How does it feel? Y'know, just cuz you've really pissed me off, I think I'll do what you did to my sisters to your gang of prostitutes, but with brass knuckles and a video camera!"

Nazz looked up at Lee fed up and weakly stood back up before she cracked her bones back into place EEnE-style.

"Don't know how yer still standin', but I'll make it so you can't even crawl, bitch!" Lee swung her left at Nazz, but the recovered bombshell blocked her shot and punched her in the left jaw before she screamed in pain! Nazz then head-slapped Lee on both ears before the latter tried to deliver a sloppy haymaker that Nazz blocked and responded to by punching Lee in the left jaw again!

Lee swung her right at Nazz, but she blocked it and punched Lee in the right jaw once more! Next, Nazz delivered two punches to Lee's ribs and two more to both of her jaws before she administered a powerful uppercut that made her (Lee) jump backwards! Disoriented, Lee tried to deliver a sloppy sucker-punch with her left, but Nazz caught it and ended the fight by taking Lee down in a scissor-motion-headlock!

"That was for stealing my car!" Nazz stood back up and glared down at her defeated nemesis.

Lee looked at Nazz and weakly threatened, "You take him from me…and I'll make the rest of your life a hell you ain't gonna ferget!"

"Then I guess…it's on!" Nazz violently kicked Lee in the face; knocking her unconscious! She then looked at Edd with a victorious smile before Edd smiled back.

Just then, Alex suddenly zipped behind Edd and grabbed him before he knocked him unconscious by banging his head against the machine's metallic surface!

"DOUBLE D!" Nazz ran towards Alex in anger, but he held up his remote device and made her stop in her tracks when he wickedly smiled, "Don't think so, Sexy! I press this button and yer friends' houses are toast!"

"He's lyin'!" Eddy suddenly appeared in the hole that Trey made earlier!

"EDDY!" Nazz looked at him relieved.

"His notes say he's gotta wait ten more minutes before he can push that button and wreck everyone's houses!" Eddy remembered.

"You saw him launch it?" Nazz yelled.

"No, I heard it!" Eddy replied. "Now, grab that remote!"

"Yeah, right!" Alex mocked. "She can tr—AAGGHH!"

Nazz kicked Alex off-screen and grabbed his controller after it twirled around in the air a little bit! "QUICK! THE ROOF! WE GOTTA KNOW WHERE THAT THING IS!" Eddy and Nazz climbed up the machine and skillfully (like true martial artists that perform stunts) jumped through the opening loops that the probe went through just as Alex tried unsuccessfully to pursue them!

"DAMN IT!" Alex turned his attention to the elevator and grinned devilishly!

* * *

On the roof of the clubhouse, Nazz front-flipped out of the last loop while Eddy back-flipped out of it. The two looked to the sky, but it was difficult to see a thing since the clouds were now dark! What's worse, they could not hear the probe's descent due to the random bursts of thunder!

"Well, this sucks! Now, we don't know how it's gonna show!" Eddy frowned. "Bet Frost's just jolly 'bout that, too!"

"Least he didn't follow us!" Nazz panted as she touched her knees.

"Yeah, but don't jinx our luck!" Eddy cracked his knuckles.

Suddenly, unbeknownst to the two due to their turned-backs, the chimney silently opened up like an elevator door and a silhouetted figure could be seen inside. The figure swiftly ripped the controller out of Nazz's hands before she gasped and the hole that she and Eddy came through closed! Both she and Eddy turned around and saw that it was Alex, who was now armed with the curtain rod that one of the crossbones' gang members had!

"SURPRISE! SURPRISE!" Alex impiously twirled his curtain rod around.

Nazz, being the closest, engaged with Alex in a brief scuffle, but unfortunately for her, her brutal fight with Lee left her exhausted and injured to the point where even a street-fighter like Alex could best her! She swung her left at Alex, but he knocked her hand away effortless! She successfully delivered a sucker-punch to Alex's left cheek, but when she tried to deliver another one, Alex struck her in the face with the rod and made her stumble closer to the roof's edge!

Eddy tried to intervene, but Alex kept the rod at her neck and silently threatened to knock her off of the roof unless he stayed where he was!

"Didn't have to be this hard, all right?" Alex shouted. "None of this would be happenin' if you people weren't so stupid! Sorry, Nazz! But if I can't have ya, this spiky-haired son of a bitch can't either!"

"If you think any girl would want to even look at you after all this, you're the one who's stupid, Alexander!" Nazz spat.

Angered, Alex kicked Nazz off of the roof "300-style" before she quickly plummeted towards the ground! But then, Nazz took out a pocketknife and slammed it against the tree of the clubhouse before she slowly made her way down to the ground (a trick she learned from Eddy earlier on)! She uttered a sigh of relief before she looked up at the clubhouse and whispered, _"Please be careful, Eddy!"_

On the roof, Eddy and Alex engaged in the final fight of the season! After he put his controller away, Alex tried to strike Eddy with his rod, but the latter blocked it with his forearm before the former tried again, but missed when Eddy back-bended! Alex tried again, but Eddy caught the end of it and removed the extra rod inside Alex's as he (Eddy) palm-punched him in the face!

Alex ferociously and swiftly swung his rod at Eddy from left, right, and up-high positions, but he blocked every shot with his own rod thanks to his knowledge of battling with weaponry! With his free hand, Alex tried to sucker-punch Eddy, but he grabbed his wrist and swung him on the side of him! Alex fiercely swung his rod at Eddy three more times, but missed each time when he back-flipped twice and landed on the chimney!

Eddy balanced himself carefully as he blocked each of Alex's simple swings and used his limbs to dodge the more complicated ones! Just then, Eddy grabbed the tip of the chimney and swung his body horizontally before he double-kicked Alex off-screen! Eddy ran up to Alex as he (Alex) sprung himself back up and missed when he swung at the back-bending Eddy!

The teens clashed rods three more times from diagonal, left, and right positions before Eddy delivered a sucker-punch to Alex's left jaw! Alex retaliated by failing to strike Eddy from atop, but did successfully kick Eddy in the shin and knock his rod out of his hand! Alex tried to strike the disarmed Eddy four times, but missed all four times when he ducked, back bended, blocked, and he grabbed the rod!

The boys tried to wrestle the rod out of each other's respective grips until Eddy broke the standoff by kicking Alex in the abdomen before both fell back-first onto the roof! Just then, after a clap of thunder, the boys heard a rumbling noise that was coming from the sky! Eddy stood up and looked up at the sky with a wondering facial expression while Alex stood up and sneered victoriously as he took out his controller, "Time's up!"

At that moment, the probe shot into the thermosphere earlier emerged from the dark clouds and descended straight for the neighborhood!

"KISS THE LAST OF YOUR FREEDOM GOOD-BYE, GATES!" Alex cackled and pointed his controller at the probe! But before he could press the button, Eddy came from behind him and after struggling for about six seconds, successfully wrestled the controller out of his hand and punched him onto the side of the roof! As he (Alex) stood back up, he heard Eddy utter from behind, "Yo, Frost!" before he turned around!

Eddy jumped up in the air and in slow-motion, fly-kicked Alex in the chest before he (Alex) was sent flying and started plummeting down to the ground in normal motion!

"Enjoy the Orange Chicken!" Eddy grinned triumphantly!

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES!" the bug-eyed Alex fell through the ground and fell unconscious as he entered China under the watchful and proud eyes of Nazz!

On the roof, Eddy saw that the probe was getting closer and closer to the neighborhood and he didn't have a clue in the world on how to stop it! At that moment, his quick-thinking skills struck a nerve and he placed Alex's device sideways on the roof before he smashed it into little pieces by stepping on it! As a result, something miraculous happened.

The probe began to shake out of control before it exploded and sent eleven missiles (one for every character's [or "characters' in Ed and Sarah's case"] house with the exception of Eddy and Nazz) spiraling uncontrollably around in the air before they each landed in random places contrary to everyone's houses! The first one tremendously exploded in the lane, the second one in the playground, the third in the junkyard, the fourth in the cul-de-sac, the fifth fell through a sewer-hole, but exploded out another one mushroom-style, the sixth one struck the Candy store, the seventh one struck jawbreaker factory, the eighth struck Peach Creek Jr. High, the ninth one destroyed Kyle's house in the second neighborhood, the tenth one destroyed Alex and Brandon's trailer, while the eleventh and final one destroyed the Kankers' trailer!

Eddy grinned softly as he watched the ensuing explosions around him, "Ka-blam!"

As the camera showed the entire district's post-explosive chaos from an aerial view, the screen faded to black.

* * *

The screen reopened the next night, where we could see the rebuilt X-House, which was the exact replica of its predecessor! Inside, all of the characters of the main and supporting cast (with the exception of the Kankers and the other antagonists) were partying as a way of celebrating the re-christening of the X-house and the defeat of the Kanker sisters. Among them, Eddy and Nazz were talking as they held each other's hands!

Ed walked up to them with a stack-load of furniture in his hand, "Yo, Eddy! Where do you want these?"

"Just put 'em in the basement for now, Ed!" Eddy smiled. "And watch'cher step for once, will ya?"

"You got it, hero!" Ed ran off-screen.

Just then, Kevin stood in the middle of the room and motioned for Nate to stop the ipod's music for a little bit before he did so. Kevin held up his cup of Jack Daniels, "Dudes! Dudettes! Know we've done this like fourteen times already, but…I don't care! One really huge cheer for my bro, Eddy and his new lady, Nazz for savin' our asses and poundin' our home wreckers! Hip-hip!"

"HELL YEAH!" Everyone roared with gratitude!

"Yo, saviors!" Nate yelled to Eddy and Nazz. "What do ya wanna play this time?"

"How 'bout…" Eddy raised his head up high. "…Oh, what the hell! The show's theme!"

Nate gave Eddy a thumbs up before he clicked on several buttons until the show's theme music started to play. The theme was **Headstrong **by **Trapt**. The lights went out before colored lights started flashing around the room and the characters started dancing before other teens came busting in and started dancing, bumping, and grinding as well!

When Nazz tried to join them, Eddy pulled her back, "Where do ya think yer goin'?" picked her up, and put her on one of the tables as she giggled. The two looked at each other lovingly before, in slow-motion, they passionately kissed…together at last! As the couple continued to kiss, the screen faded to black.

**End of episode 10**

* * *

**Did you know: The SKUNKSHARK formula conjured by the Kanker sisters was inspired by the "**_**Eau de wood rot**_**" and "Crankshaft #5" perfume concoctions from "Know it all Ed". And Alex being sent to China by Eddy was a tribute to "For your Ed Only", where a very similar thing happened to Jonny.**

* * *

**Phoenix's note: As a kid, I notice****d that Nazz's characterization has been explored only minimally. Which is why I created a backstory around her and to also show just how long she had it for Eddy (because if you pay attention to detail, you would see hints that ultimately led me to make this couple work). And I decided to have Nerf Herder's music be the revised basis for Edolescence's theme because not only do I think the music's cool, but also, believe it or not, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is an early inspiration I had for this series (which is having a bunch of teens take on things you wouldn't believe without seeing; something "Buffy" is known for)! And as for the places that the KANKERFROST missiles hit, well, I just thought it would be cool to show most of the places you remember in the first series even if I do wreck them just for the fun of it! **

* * *

**Parting memo: And, basically, that says it all for Season 1, folks and fans! Next season will explore the outside world of Peach Creek a little more and will, of course, have tons and tons of adrenaline-pumping action sequences! Also, as a recurring subplot, some of the characters will start looking for jobs. However, the next fic you should expect is my freestanding Halloween special, "You're in for an Ed"! Till that time though, Phoenix out!**

* * *

**Title reference: Third time's the charm**


End file.
